I was cuddled up in the media room, Luca was rubbing a hot-water bottle on the dip of my back, feeding me chips with his other hand, my head on his lap as I contemplated biting his dick off. An omnibus of La Mujer de Mi Vida was playing on the projector and my thoughts, as much as I had tried to pull them to other things, remained steady on breakfast, the fact that Carlen had invited me to her push party and that Luca had a castle he'd never mentioned nor did he want me to see it.

Of course, as a concubine, I didn't really have a right to demand that he show me his castle, but it didn't mean I wasn't going to sit here being absolutely butt hurt about it! I'd told him about my dad! About being kidnapped! He could've mentioned having a fucking castle yeah? And Carlen probably wouldn't want me at her push party once she realized I was just a new addition to the sextuplets anyway.

And though I couldn't imagine exactly how, maybe he was having full orgies with the sextuplets at the castle and keeping me here as some kind of entrée!

"Out with it. You've been frowning and sighing all day." Luca says hitting the pause button on La Mujer

I glare and pout at him, because I can.

"You never mentioned you had a castle." I grouchily state

It was stupid, of course, to feel like he was hiding things from me. He was. I barely knew anything about him outside of work and the bedroom and his food preferences and his cologne! He was clearly hiding the sextuplets! Probably at the castle too!

Jokes on him because I was going to get me some sextuplets too! And I didn't have a castle to hide them at but I'd be more dramatic in my sextuplets reveal!

"Here I was thinking it had something to do with Antonio and Barbarita" He mocks, shaking his head at me

"I mean Sandra is being a bit much but why didn't you tell me about the castle?" I prod redirecting the conversation right back to the issue at hand: that he had a castle, hadn't bothered to mention it and really did not want me to see it

"It never came up." He stiffly states, glaring at me as if I'd asked him to donate his kidney to my cousin's cat in Lagos

"Yeah...because I go around asking people if they have castles?" I pry

"Hervé has one. Did he tell you that?" He retorts defensively and I don't know what's just happened to Duran-NsYnc over here but I was not about to have this conversation

"Forget that I asked." I decide, turning back to the screen

I decide that I don't care, I shouldn't care at all. I'm a clown obviously for having all these feelings! I try and reach into my soul for giving Lucas air-mode, the only thing that could keep me from tears at this point. I'd been so stupid! I take in a deep breath, it's shaky obviously because I feel my eyes watering. I'm not going to cry damnit! I belong to the streets!

"It's the seat of the clan." He shrugs stiffly because apparently it was such a task telling me about this in the first place

He wasn't looking as chummy as he had when he was probing me about my mood. He almost looked like Angsty Lucas, and I wasn't too much a fan of that bloke!

"It would've been nice to know, that's all I'm saying." I shrug, waiting for him to play the telenovela so my eyes can swallow my tears

Instead, he props my head onto a pillow, hands me the remote and leaves me there in the media room alone, mumbling "Well now you do." under his breath. I watch him storm off, grumbling in gaelic as I remind myself that I shouldn't care for his foul mood. This wasn't a relationship that involved anything other than my vagina terrorista and his dick. Him storming off was a way of reminding me that, of putting the boundary back where Carlen had slightly lifted it.

Poor Carlen had probably spoken out of turn letting me into his life beyond tying me to the bed. Or maybe it was difficult now to distinguish if she'd invited me over as a work thing or as one of the women her big brother was banging. I'm stretching lazily for the remote when Wilford rushes into the room, looking slightly harassed. He smiles, his usual open friendly smile before straightening up.

"Your grace... He's asked that I escort you to the helicopter." He announces primly

Wow, of course he had a helicopter. I study Wilford in his immaculate uniform with his eyes glistening with mischief. So I was being expelled from the sextuplets then, and dramatically too.

"Nah bruv, I'm good." I decide

I'd leave at my own time, after this episode of la mujer ends or something. Wilford stands there, apparently confused by something.

"Loved your delivery though, it was very debonair." I add with a soft smile up at him

It wasn't him I was mad at. He wasn't the one expelling me from my sextuplet duties.

"Was it better than Downton Abbey? I thought it sounded a bit Hogwartsish honestly..." He wonders back and I have to stop him right there, shaking my head

"Bruv... I know that show is like great representation for butlers or whatever but I just... I can't watch it." I shrug, scandalizing him

"Your grace... it has won BAFTAs!" He exclaims, which sounded like a him problem if I'm being honest

"Even Americans love it!" He adds as I pop some chips into my mouth

"Tell you what... I have some time... show me your best episode and we can finally put this to rest, yeah?" I bargain, throwing my hands up

This was clearly important to the man and I wasn't about to let him have a heart attack because I didn't rate his favourite show. I watch him think fast and then settle on the couch beside me, typing in an episode.

I couldn't even concentrate on this shit because Wilford kept looking over at me with great expectation in his eyes each time a character was about to say something. We were nearly done with the episode when Hervé ran into the room, causing quite a fright as he chuckled.

"What have you done now?" He asks me, laughing uncontrollably

I obviously don't know what he's talking about and before I can say anything there's loud shouting in gaelic fast approaching the room. Wilford jumps off the couch and switches the projector off, getting down on one knee as if to pray for something just as an absolutely furious blur storms into the media room.

"Mo gradh, ye radge wee baobhan sith!" It hisses at me, rapping a whole lot of what seemed to be unpleasant gaelic things at me (you crazy little vampire)

I was pure innocent, you know! That's why I pop a chip into my mouth and watch as it fast approaches me. Was this the pirate from spongebob?

"What did she do?" Hervé asks again, thoroughly entertained

"Tongue my fart-box, yer fucking walloper!" It growls at him before grabbing the hot-water bottle and throwing me over its shoulder non-too-ceremoniously (kiss my ass, you fucking dick!)

"HEy!" I protest whichever demon Luca had summoned to expel me from the sextuplets

All I had actually seen was a black blur roll into the media room, and now this blur was carrying me and fast towards something that was in the opposite direction to the house.

This is some werewolf bollocks!

I try to fight it. It might've been the period pains that caused everything to blur about me, or it might have been that I was being kidnapped by a Scottish werewolf dressed all in black that was running through what seemed like a forest at incredible speeds. I decide that it was the latter, so I try to fight. I had to fight! Even if this was one of those love stories where the werewolf loves the girl, this couldn't be me! My name was not Cinderella, it wasn't Aurora either so there was no beast on earth you'd catch me dead with! I try to recall what the actual procedure for being thrown over a man's shoulder was, trying to scream while thrashing about, trying to be lose of his grip.

"Stop it!" the Scottish gremlin voice growls

"You stop kidnapping me right this minute or else!" I warn him/it

Simply for the tone it used on me, I dig my knee right into his chest, causing him to cry angrily and curve over in pain. He was so tall that my feet weren't touching the ground despite the fact that he was folded almost in half.

"I swear to fucking god Funke!" He growls painfully at me as I recognize the only idiot I knew who spoke to me like that

Perhaps it was the period pains, or the disappointment that I wasn't the damsel in a story about a werewolf kidnapping it's mate, but I dig my knee right into Luca's chest one more time.

"Owww!Fucking...ARSEPIECE!" He growls angrily, letting me go. I make a small jump to the ground, confirming for myself that it was him. (anus!)

"Are you fucking mad?" I hiss at him as he falls to his knees, his face all shades of whatever colour it was white boys turned when they were in pain. He breathes out painfully, forcing his dark angry gaze on me.

How the fuck was he angry? He couldn't have wanted me out of his house so fucking badly he'd turned into a gremlin! He's the one who carried me off into a forest like some... proper nutter!

"Did someone steal off with your head chief? You have the bottle to carry me over your shoulder like I'm a ragdoll?!" I cuss at him, watching his angry scowl turn into a dark smile

"I wish I'd had a bottle, yes." Luca admits through the pain

"Are you drunk?!" I accuse the man struggling to his feet

"You kicked me in the chest Funke!" He retorts caught between anger and laughter.

"I thought I was being kidnapped by a... a Scottish werewolf-pirate-gremlin you absolute rinsed tonk!" I cry in disbelief.

"I keep forgetting about your kidnap training." Luca grumbles under his breath, his chest definitely wasn't forgetting it though. This was proper pain.

I suck my teeth at the sight of his strain, grumpily walking to him and lifting the plush material of his t-shirt. I stop to give him a curt glare because I can feel it in my bones that he was about to say something stupid. He smiles sheepishly down at me, hopefully rethinking his decision to expel me from the sextuplets.

"I haven't said anything." Luca shrugs softly, keeping my gaze on his as my hand feels at his chest for where my knee had hit him.

"Out with it... I want to hear it." I prod, massaging something on his chest seductively

I might not have been the best sex slave but I must've been good for something. All I needed was for Luca to remember what.

"If you wanted to play sexy nurse with me... all you had to do was ask me Funke." He teases softly,

This absolute fucking idiot! I'd show him sexy nurse!

My eyes soften, a smile playing on my lips as my head sways inching my lips ever so close to his and my gaze directly under his. I watch his breath catch at the possibility.

"Is it?" I softly pry, my hand sliding down his chest very seductively

"You think I won't fuck you senseless just because of a little blood Funke? I won't hesitate to undress you here, now... or anywhere for that matter." He vows huskily

Which, of course is utterly unfair to say to someone with vagina terrorista. It's pretty much a slur, that sentence!

"Here?" I coo, moving my head ever so slightly away from his as he leans in for a kiss. His eyes close briefly as my palm presses gently on his erection, feeling it through his dinner pants.

"Tha thu bòidheach agus bheir mise gad thoirt gu slàn" Lucas groans deeply against my neck, his eyes shut tight as I try and steel myself against this unfair assault on my senses (You are beautiful and I will devour you whole)

I'll show you tha thu tharamidi thot!

I press my palm into his chest and back, watching him growl as a wave of pain courses through him and he realizes he's standing upright again. His eyes open, his mouth dropping open as I stand there glaring up at him. EXPEL THAT from the sextuplets you rinsed tonk!

"Better?" I curtly inquire of his nasty I'll fuck you on sight but don't ask me about my castle or I'll expel you from the sextuplets-fine-ass!

He growls under his breath, dramatically pointing at a waiting helicopter.