Ever since Lucas found out I could just untie myself he'd gone about devising other ways of torturing me. His latest invention, that I was growing very sick of, was taking both my clothes and his whenever he left the room. There was some button somewhere that locked all his closets and drawers and I hadn't discovered where it was yet. I woke up groggy and in pain with no Luca, no clothes, no chance of leaving the house until he let me and I was furious! My ovaries were screaming my uterine wall down my vagina, or at least threatening to and the pain was affecting my mood. He knew I needed to head home today, to the apartment I paid rent for, the one with my clothes and things!

"Luca!" I scream his name like a wounded banshee, ready to avenge the death of a loved one.

He doesn't reply, which is bait because I know where he is anyway! I wrap the shawl that was always draped as a throw on the bed around me and storm towards the kitchenette, pushing the chic curtain that hid the lakefront balcony aside only to find him chuckling naughtily into a glass of orange juice.

"You mochridhe!" I hiss at him, proper vexed when he trembles as if trying to hold laughter back

I don't know why he never took me calling him a wanker that needs to bugger off seriously. His only contribution had been that I didn't need to qualify mochridhe with a "you" because it was already implied in the word. My pronunciation was probably horrid but still! By now he should know what I mean by it!

"It's you that possesses me mo grádh." he beams up at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me onto his lap

I try and squirm away of course, because the last time I was on this man's lap on this balcony... This man thought I was jokes! The fact that he was wearing clothes, a shirt and boxers was pure madness because manz slept on the buff! The only reason he had garmz on right now was to hold me hostage in his room while my uterus stabbed me to death! The cruelty! The malice! For what? small small cuddling?!

"You need to talk to your friend yeah? He keeps stealing my fucking clothes" I demanded of Hervé, who I incorrectly assume is the person seated across from us having breakfast with him as I do my best to resist this gorgeous wanker who'd hid my clothes and was now trying to make nice by pressing his lips against my naked shoulders while looking puss-in-bootsly into my eyes

"It's beyond me why you wear clothes in the first place... and it's you who keeps stealing my shirts for dresses." Luca retorts, pressing his lips tenderly against my shoulder as he settles me on his lap

If he didn't hide my clothes I wouldn't steal his shirts! I'm busy trying to fight his grip around my waist when he leans into my ear and whispers

"If you keep moving like that Funke, I might have to bend you over this table and fuck you right here...again, in front of our guest." in such a devilishly dark manner I don't trust that he won't do it

Last time Hervé had barely left the balcony when Lucas pushed the plates off the table and bent me over it. I knew better than to risk testing his limits.

Fine! I hope there's period blood all over you when this is done you monster!

I stop my squirming, giving in to his grip, he takes his shirt off, handing it to me as an alternative to the shawl. He chuckles triumphantly as I take it off him.

"How delightful to see you again Funke." A feminine voice says as I realize it's not Hervé seated across from us

I look up to meet the cheeky blue gaze of a pleasantly smiling blond. My first move, once I recognize Luca's sister and the current Mrs. Angus MacLeod, is to try and move out of Luca's lap and completely disappear from the world as we know it. However, of the many things I'd worked my way around, getting out of Luca's grip when he was in cuddle-mode was not one of them. I move, he pushes me right back onto his lap, forcing me to plaster a smile on my face and pretend I was completely OK with meeting my boss' sister who also happened to be the wife of the man who'd given me my first major commission while my boobs were almost out of the shawl and I hadn't fully put the shirt on.

"Carl...Mrs. MacLeod...your majesty?" I squeak trying to figure out what exactly I was supposed to call her and if I was meant to curtsy or stretch my hand or blow her a kiss

I opt to lifting an imaginary tophat at her

"Carlen is fine babe. I had a good friend who called me Carly, you can do that if you want." She offers in pleasant chirps as I struggle to put the shirt on

"Fine thanks." I awkwardly choke back already out of things to say

I mean I could say that I'm less than two months away from opening my own firm so technically this wasn't what it looked like... And the commission was pretty much done too so...

"What do you think mo chridhe means Funke? Are you picking up Scottish Gaelic?" She wonders as Luca shoves a bit of orange into my mouth

As it turns out your majesty ma'am Carly... Both Luca and Hervé have neglected to tell me its meaning in clear words. Hervé assures me its absolutely horrid though and I'd trust him over this guy any day. I do apologise for using such vile words in front of you, I didn't know you were here.

"Carlen came bye to give me some news. She's pregnant." Luca announces as Carlen looks past me at him, her cheeks flushing adorably at the statement

She cuts her eyes at him and I can tell there's a sibling conversation going on here that I don't have access to. I chew on the orange in my mouth before I can bring myself to say

"Congratulations." I chime, trying for dignified considering my current state

I'm partially responsible for this pregnancy you know. If I hadn't been teething Luca's clients his brother-in-law wouldn't have forced us to work together in order to keep Carlen's legs open. And without my sacrificing my three year relationship, sanity and reputation to make this collaboration with her brother come together, Carlen wouldn't have been pregnant now. She'd still be on some kind of sex strike or something!

"Thanks. Angus and I have been very pleased about all this. We're also excited about you and Lucas." She says and then suddenly looks beyond me at him with a slight look of panic in her eyes

I could feel Luca moving behind me but by the time I turn around he's perfectly still.

"Working together, the commission and stuff." she adds as he smiles innocently at me

What was going on here?

"Looks like I'll be an uncle. Exciting isn't it?" Luca chimes, pressing his lips against mine briefly

Either his sister knew we were fucking this entire time or he'd desensitized her by fucking his sextuplets in front of her so many times before. And I was a sextuplet, whether I wanted to admit that or not.

"I was just telling Lucas that I'd like the push party to be at Whitlam. I know it's months ahead but you can never be too prepared, especially when you have a stubborn big brother you need to convince to let you use the castle in the first place." she says

I realize she's talking to Luca through me, which was probably a sibling issue thing. Can you imagine me, pouting, because Boyd won't let me use his castle?! Of course Luca had a castle! Why hadn't that thought ever crossed my mind? I reach for another fruit on the pancake, clearly this wasn't an issue that involved me and I was not Koffi Annan

"Have you been to Whitlam Funke?" Carlen pries, her eyes back on me as the chocolate covered strawberry slips through my fingers

I hadn't expected to be addressed for the rest of this fight about who gets to use the castle or not. In fact I was just thinking that maybe I'd never been told about the castle because that's where the smokey-eye sextuplets stayed!

"To... to the castle?" I stutter obviously stunned that I could even be asked such a thing

Did I witness Princess Di play croquet on my feudal lands? I want to point out that I'm black so none of this makes sense to me, but I smile nervously instead.

"It's very beautiful. You'll like it. If he hasn't taken you there by then you should definitely come to the push party." Carlen announces as Luca groans behind me

I want to tell the blonde guy from every boyband ever to calm down, that I wasn't going to ask him to take me to his castle or whatever, when suddenly I realize with a slight pang that I maybe wanted to see this castle! Why had he groaned like that, like it'd be such a chore! The wanker didn't even pretend to think!

"You should come to the push party regardless. It'll be so very pleasant seeing you then." She adds happily

I smile back, nodding my head at that. Fine, I won't ask him to take me to the castle. I'll just go by myself! Once I figured out what a push party was. I hope it's not one of those beating a white woman with leaves and singing slave spirituals while she gives birth in the forest type things. I hope she won't make us eat her womb or lick the baby clean or something...

"And if you are picking up Scottish-Gaelic we can practice some more phrases together." She chimes, sipping on her juice

I'm not sure why that felt like a thinly veiled threat of some kind, but it wasn't a threat to me. If she could teach me more vile things to call him, I'd be down for that.

"Carlen's trying to guilt me for not practicing it with her." Luca reveals as I cut into the pancake, confident this time that I'd get to at least put something in my mouth as they fight

"It's for the baby, Luc!" She announces dramatically

"If you hadn't lied to Angus that you already speak it, he'd teach you." Luca offers

"Well I've already lied, haven't I!" She curtly replies, smiling

"Then you'll just have to live with it." Luca shrugs

"Because you never lie?" She wonders back, cutting her eyes at him as I sip his orange juice

"That's different." He shrugs firmly as I eat in peace.

"How?" She wonders back in protest

"We're not married, for starters." He shrugs as I look out at the lake

Ah yes, just another day as a smokey-eye sextuplet