I can't believe this shit!

I had to do it, of course. It'd be a big deal just as Angus had said, and it would be a great first step for my firm, so I guess in some ways it could be argued that I won here.

"So when were you going to tell me you're trying to leave me Funke?" Lucas is asking

I'd done everything I could to try and leave before he does but save for my cat catching fire, there was nothing to be done. So I thought I'd leave after he left and yet here we are.

"I have a resignation letter in my drafts." I assure him, trying to walk fast but the dress and the shoes won't let me

How the fuck does Rihanna manage this mate? I almost fall and he grabs me by the elbow, growling something under his breath as he does.

"Thanks." I state fitting my foot back in my shoe

"Are you thankful Funke? Because I had to jump on a sixteen hour flight so I can fight for a commission that'll permanently announce the new direction of my architecture firm and then...and then I FIND OUT that one of my STAFF ARCHITECTS is the person I'm fighting?"He growls all flustered and bothered and stuff

"First of all, no one asked you to fly sixteen hours to this meeting. You have some really good architects in your staff, some of whom would've sufficed for the kind of...ummm...skill, you showed in there! That's your problem, mate, you don't trust anyone!" I hiss back, which was unlike me, but no white man, no Backstreet boy extra that never made it into the band was going to grab me by my elbow in the street and GROWL at me!

"I don't TRUST anyone???!" he cries and I can hear the italics in the word trust from the little breakdown he's having

He collects himself, mostly because a few people look our way and I am ready to let them know he's trying to sex traffic me or something. He takes in a deep breath, I try and pry my hand from his grip with no success

"Maybe I would TRUST people if they weren't pretending to be my Employees just so they can STEAL my clients from me. What are you going to do Funke? Join forces with Luna and seize the largest chunk of the European market? Had that been your plan all along?!" He hisses at me

"I don't have time for your trust issues Earl Whitlam. Allow it." I say, switching strategies now

I was going to be the calm voice of reason and he was going to have to jam it.

"You ARE my trust issues!" He grunts just as my phone starts to ring

He was glaring at me, my hand still in his grip and I was pouting while looking off into some distance. Skepta, was going in and I was doing my best to not rap along

"Pick it." He finally sighs letting go of my hand and running his hand through his hair like we were in some shampoo commercial in the middle of Knighstbridge that literally no one asked for. He was so dedicated to being a complete and utter shite, Earl Whitlam!

I roll my eyes and reach into my purse, pulling my phone out just as it stops ringing. Luna had tried to call me. I stare at the screen, debating what I'd tell her, and then I find that the Earl was looking at my phone screen too. I turn a glare to him, he smirks knowingly. The second my lips part to say something the phone starts ringing again.

"You should pick up." He offers helpfully

I turn away so that he doesn't see me roll my eyes at him and mock the way he said "You should pick up.". Thanks for your absolutely shite opinion on what I should do next oh great and wise Sherlock, inventor of advice! I knew my girlfriend well enough to know that not picking up her phone call was just about the worst move in this scenario, so I take in a deep breath, put a smile on my face and pick up my cellie.

"Hey sweetie." I chime as happily as I can

"Baby, how did it go? I was so nervous for you, I know how this is such a big deal." Luna coos into the phone

"It went... kind of great actually, just a...minor hiccup." I shrug as calmly as I could, turning my gaze to the minor hiccup who was very attentively listening

"Ugh, nobility, they're always like that. Did you have to renegotiate some parameters? I remember my first big deal went something like that. It took us ages to find a happy medium between what I was willing to give to the project and all the clients needs. It's crazy sometimes, but I think you just need to put your foot down babe and say, listen I'm great at my job and I know what I'm doing so I deserve your support." She is saying as I watch something obscene take over Whitlam's stupid pretty face

What was he doing?

What was he thinking?

"Ummm, yeah, parameters, we had to renegotiate those..." I start to say, jumping back so as Whitlam suddenly dives towards me

This complete dickhead!

"You did a great job today Funke...oh, are you on the phone? Is it Luna... oh, bless. Tell her I say hi and that she has one of the most beautiful and talented architects this side of the Sahara... and I'm just so grateful we get to work together all the time!" He says loud enough that I am absolutely sure Luna's heard him

I mean I understand his ancestors came with a herald or what have you but did he need to be that loud and wrong?

"Was that... I thought you said he wouldn't be at the meeting?!" Luna shrieks and I am just about ready to fight this man! I'll fight the entire royal family at this point

"It's not like that babe, it's actually a funny story..." I say as calmly as I can considering I was ready to cut the imaginary GQ photoshoot manz was on right now and wreck his entire life

"Is it? Is this what we're doing now? Lying to each other? ¿Eres tonto o saltas muros de cristal para ver lo que hay detrás?" She demands, the emotion thick in her voice (Are you stupid or do you jump over crystal walls to see what's behind?)

Not only do I have no idea what she's saying, I'm sure it's not good and I'm vexxed that this idiot would do this to me on purpose. This! This is why I wanted to quit my job! I couldn't stand being caught between these two and their wicked schemes! I deserved my own firm where everything I did wasn't weighed on a balance beam to see if it favoured my boss more than my girlfriend or viceversa! I deserved that shit mate!

I don't know which aunty had hexed me but this shit is over! Done with! I'm about to go Craig David and walk away from all these mad ones!

"We're going to have to meet about the schedule for this project. bring your pitch by the office, you know where it is right? Later this afternoon should be fine." Lucas is calling out as I walk away

Luna was really rubbing in how ugly and mad I'd just decided to move so I was about to buy some flowers and some ingredients for dinner at my place. I'd probably need some lingerie too. Beyonce intercede for me! I need a miracle!