Since you got so upset about Azelie dying...

‘Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love,’

- Mel Brooks

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Cole watched her fall, a yell choking up his throat as he watched her hit that water, a million thoughts running riot around his mind as he watched her sink to the bottom of the river while being swept down the rapids. He barely had time to think, to realise what he was doing, but Cole dived in after Azelie, not even bothering to think his actions through, the only thought in his head was for Azelie, a prayer hoping that he hadn’t jumped in too late.

The freezing water hit him all at once, washing away his thoughts of saving Azelie as he focused on the pain of the cold water. It felt like a million daggers stabbing themselves into his body at once, pain spreading through his body like fire as he sank deeper into the water. His body suddenly jumped into action as he caught a glimpse of Azelie’s body in the shadowy water as he remember the reason he had jumped in, his mind focusing in on the motionless body that was being swept further and further away from him by the current of the river. He pushed himself off the muddy bottom of the river, accelerating through the water trying to get to her. Cole swam over to her, his heart jumping in his chest with happiness that he had her, his mind praying that he wasn’t too late. He grabbed hold of her, and her eyes opened wide, fear filling them. She tried to push him away, trying screaming for him to let her die. He ignored her, wrapping his left arm around her kicking body and pushing against the floor of the river and swimming up towards the surface. While his lungs screamed for a breath of air, Azelie screamed at him to let her go.

When Cole dragged Azelie out from the water and up the muddy banks of the river, she was still screaming at him in hysterics to let her go, to let her drown and die so that Lily would live.

But, he refused, dragging her as far up the bank and away from the water as he could with her squirming in his arms, desperately trying to free herself from his hold. He stopped halfway up the bank, still trying to catch his breath from being under water for longer than he had been used to. The muddy bank made it hard for him to climb up the bank and hold Azelie at the same time. He wrapped his arms around her chest, lying on his side trying to get the tightest hold he could on the squirming girl, Azelie trying every move possible to free herself from his hold. All Azelie wanted to do was get out of his hold, so she could run up to the top of the bridge and jump again, this time making sure that Cole wouldn’t drag her out alive. She curled her fists up to make balls, hitting Cole’s chest to try to get him to release her, hitting him a little harder with every punch.

Azelie didn’t want to be the cause of Lily’s death. Death hung over Azelie like a bug, killing those she dared to love, those who dared to love her. Cole would die without Lily, but he would survive without Azelie, he and Lily would live. Azelie felt like the cancer that kept returning to Lily, trying to take her life away.

“Just let me go, Just let me go,” Azelie pleaded, tears running down her cheeks, sobs stopping her breathing as she tried to peel his arms from around her body, trying to escape. “For her, Cole, for Lily! Let me go for her,’’ She cried as she tried to roll away from him, kicking and pushing her legs in the mud of the bank. She needed to get away; she needed to jump again.

“No, Azelie” He replied, his voice full of authority, trying to tell Azelie not to fight back, to stop fighting him, but she ignored him, pleading to him over and over to let her go; to let her jump. No matter how many times she pleaded and begged for him to release her, his answer was always ‘no’, the pain of the word killing Azelie a little every time he said it.

“Just let me go, let her live,” she begged, hysterical tears still rolling down her face, the mud making her clothes heavy.

“No, it’s not your fault, Azelie. It’s never been your fault,” He replied, pulling his arms around her tighter, not thinking for a second to let her go.

“Please, Cole, please, she’ll die,” Azelie pleaded, her voice straining as she grew increasingly tired, her brown wet hair full of mud and dirt. She didn’t care, the only thought on her mind was saving Lily

“No, you can’t control it! I need you,” He answered, refusing to let her go as his heart broke into a million pieces. He couldn’t live without Azelie, especially with everything going on with Lily. He wouldn’t make it without her, without both of them.

“Please, you know what happens! My mom, my dad, Hales, grandma, grandpa, Rick, Tina, - they all died because of me, because I loved them in some way! Lily’s next, but I can stop it. Please, Cole, please, let me stop it,” Azelie said, tears running down her face as she thought of all the people who had died, their memories killing Azelie a bit more. “Even Ted, Ted almost died, Cole,”

“No, I love you,” Cole simply whispered, Azelie automatically stopped kicking as he continued to talk, her head processing his words, “I love you, and I don’t care if you think that you are freaking angel of death, or if everyone in your past has died. I don’t care. I love you, Azelie. I’m not letting you die. I need you to help me with Lily. She’s had cancer since she was a baby, we were told when she was two that she had three months left. Three months, Azelie. And she’s still here today. She survived then, she will survive now. It’s nothing to do with you, Azelie, nothing to do with you,”

His words killed Azelie, her kicking stopping automatically as she broke down, trying to convince her self that he was right, that he was telling the truth. After what had seemed like hours to Azelie of kicking, screaming, crying and trying to escape, she gave up. She loved him; she loved him so much with every piece of her like she had loved no other.

‘He wouldn’t love you if she was dead. He shouldn’t love you anyway,’ Azelie thought to herself, breaking down even more, Her thoughts stabbing her like a dagger as she tasted the bitter truth of them.

“I love you too,” She croaked, her throat running dry after screaming and sobbing for so long. The tears had stopped; the kicking had stopped; everything had stopped except her beating heart that pounded hard in her chest, beating away, Azelie’s hate building up for it with every single beat it took. Every beat growing closer to Lily’s death.

“Then don’t leave me. Lily had her tests done long before I was speaking to you - hell, even before you moved to Bellingham! My dad had already seen the signs. That test last week was a final one, I didn’t know until then. This isn’t you, Azelie, this isn’t you,” Cole whispered, his voice breaking as tears started to roll down his cheeks. “This isn’t you, I promise. I love you,”

His grip loosened on Azelie’s arms as he broke down, leaving her free to move. Her first thought was to run, to run back up on to the bridge and jump. This time make sure Cole couldn’t save her. But, she turned around, and saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. Tears that she just wanted to kiss away, tears Azelie hated more than her own beating heart. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as he cried, just lying next to him, listening to his heart beating in his chest - the heart beat that she loved, keeping her thoughts away from Lily and the bridge that would end everyone’s pain.

Her hands held onto Cole tightly, her hands forming balls as they clung onto his wet, dirty, t-shirt. It was only now that she realized that Cole had jumped into save her. Not only had he put his life in danger to save her, but he had jumped off the bridge that his mother had jumped off - the bridge he had watched his mother jump into, before shortly drowning. She had hurt him, just as his mother had when he was younger, leaving Cole alone with Lily. Azelie was just as bad as his mother who had abandoned Cole and his family without seeking help, just as Azelie had tried. That thought alone was enough for the self hate to times itself by ten inside Azelie. She broke down in tears once again, wrapping her legs around Cole, never wanting to let him go, thinking of how he should never forgive her for being so selfish.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry,” she sobbed, the hysterics returning as she realised what she had been trying to do, how much she must have hurt him. As much as she believed that she was the cause of Lily’s cancer returning, she also realised that she would be leaving him alone to deal with Lily’s cancer. He might not love her after the death of Lily, but Azelie knew that she would love him, even if he didn’t and the guilt of leaving him to deal with all of that would be too much.

“It’s okay, It’s alright,” he whispered, kissing her lightly on her forehead, wrapping his arms around her as they lay in the mud of the bank.

They lay there crying for almost an hour, crying all their pain out there. Cole cried for his sister’s cancer and the fact that he almost lost the only girl he had ever loved because she thought that it was her fault. He cried because she had almost left him, jumping off the very bridge that his mother had jumped off barely even six years ago. Azelie cried out her guilt, guilt about making Cole jump in and risk his life to save her, her guilt over the whole thing with Lily. Everything, they just lay in each others arms until they could cry no more, until all the pain had been washed away.

Cole looked down at Azelie, his eyes growing tired after the long day. “I love you, no matter what. Never forget that,” he said softly, kissing her forehead slightly while drawing circles on her back with his fingers. Azelie looked up at him, her brown eyes full of guilt.

“I love you too,” she whispered in reply, her brown eyes locking with his green ones, her fingers trailing across his pink lips slightly, guilt that she was going to leave him ripping her up inside. He smiled slightly at her, a smile rising to his lips every time she told him that.

“We should probably go,” Cole simply said, unwrapping his arms slightly from Azelie, his hand taking hers as he stood up and pulling her up off the bank of the river, mud covering both of them. She stood up, her legs shaking underneath her weight, making her feel slightly like Bambi. They managed to climb up the rest of the muddy bank, one of them sometimes sinking down from the mud but the other always managed to catch the other before they could fall down. They tore through the bushes and trees until they finally reached the road, Cole terrified that Azelie might run off and try to jump again, but knowing in his heart that she wouldn’t. They walked over to his abandoned car. Cole walked Azelie to the passenger side of the car and opened her door for her, not wanting to leave her until she was safely in his car. She slowly climbed in and Cole slammed it shut and walking over to the drivers side, his heart racing his in chest. He quickly climbed into the car, bucked up his seatbelt, turning his keys in the ignition. Cole couldn’t remember turning the engine off before he jumped in after her, but it all seem a blur. The engine spluttered into life, the noise of it filling the air. Cole slowly pressed down on the accelerator, the car slowly beginning moving.

The car moved slowly at first but not before long he was driving at the speed limit. His gaze flickered over to Azelie, quickly noticing that she hadn’t done her seatbelt.

“Azelie, seatbelt,” He quickly said, breaking the silence that had fallen between the pair. She turned to look at him as she registered his words and stretching over to her right and pulling the seatbelt over her body without an argument. The click of the seatbelt made Cole’s heart calm a little. He hated that Azelie never wore a seatbelt and that she argued with him when he told her to.

Azelie gazed out of the window, thoughts running round her head. He had said he loved her. He should, but he did. She replayed him saying it, his words echoing around her brain, butterflies filling her stomach.

“Did you mean what you said?” she questioned, turning to look at him

“Mean what?” Cole said questioned, looking over at Azelie for a second before returning to look back to the road.

“That you loved me,” She answered bluntly, “Did you mean it when you said that you loved me?” Cole let out a breath, laughing slightly as he did. He quickly turned the indicator on, as he turned into a drive way, and killing the engine. Azelie’s breaths began to deepen. This was it. This was where he told her that he was just saying it to calm her down. That he meant it as in he loved her as a friend. This was were he reassured her that nobody would love her, that she was too fucked up for love. He took off his seatbelt, and turning around to face Azelie, his heart beating overtime in his chest.

“Azelie freaking Ryans, I love you. Not in the shitty friends way, not in the I’m-only-saying this-so-you-won’t-commit-suicide way either. I’m saying ‘I love you’ in the my-heart-stops-when-I-see-you way. In the way that everyone spoke about, in the damn pain that everyone sings and writes about. I love you. You and you alone. Even if it’s suicide to sit beside you while driving, even if you make yourself sick with worry and even if your absolutely utterly mental - I love you,” Cole admitting, Azelie freezing in her seat, her heart stopping. Her ears rang with his words, a bubble of happiness building up inside of her. She quickly undid her seatbelt, and leaned towards him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close to her, burying her head into his shoulder.

“I love you too,” She replied, squeezing him tighter. Happiness beginning filling him, the events of before burying itself at the back of their minds.

“Not in the shitty friend way?” He questioned with a smirk, only now realising how damn cheesy his speech had been.

“Definitely not in the shitty friend way,” She replied, letting go of his body. She moved up to face him, his bright green eyes piercing into her, the sadness from when she answered the door completely gone. He moved closer to her, kissing her softly on the lips, the tingling in Azelie stomach starting up again.

The kiss was short, but perfect, showing Azelie, somehow, that he wasn’t lying, that he did love her. In that moment, she was totally and utterly content. She was exactly where she wasn’t to be. She didn’t want to run away, she wasn’t freaking out, she was perfectly fine. For once, she felt normal. He pulled away, smiling down at her as he leaned back, Azelie doing the same. They both sat back in their seats, fastening their seatbelt. Cole’s gaze flickered over to Azelie, making sure that she wasn’t freaking out about everything before quickly turning the engine back on and pulling back on to the road.

Azelie didn’t look back out the window, but instead continued to watch Cole, feeling a little bit like a stalker but not really caring. He loved her; she loved him. Her brain was still processing everything, his words echoing around her head, causing her lips to form a simple smile.

“What are you smiling at?” he questioned, looking at Azelie for a second before focusing on the road.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” she replied, her voice light and happy. He looked at her for a second, sending her a quick smile. She was happy, for the first time in years, she was truly happy. And then it appeared.

A truck, hurting around the corner. Almost immediately Azelie could tell that it was going to fast, speeding around the blind corner that lay ahead on the road. Cole pressed down on the breaks - but it was too late.

The driver sped round the corner, going far to fast. He didn’t even notice the car on the other side. His truck drove onto the other side of the road, coming head to head with the car, sending both vehicles flying in opposite directions. The truck smashed into the other car, sending it flying over the other side of the road, landing on the roof. The second car flew to the right, falling off the road and down a small clearing in the forest. The car rolled down the hill, smashing into the ground, hitting some trees at the bottom.

And then silence fell; the horror was over. Smoke rose from the busted engines, the windshields smashed. The stench of petrol slowly filled the air as the toxic liquid dripped out of the tanks. Peacefulness fell, only to be was broken barely a second later; a single scream filling the air - a plea for help.