‘Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear,’

- Baruch Spinoza

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Cole sat on the wooden pew, wondering if praying to a god he didn’t believe in would help him grow some damn brains. Why had he kissed her! He knew it was a bad idea, kissing people straight after they have just told them their entire past isn’t the best of ideas; and yet he had done it. And, dear god, he didn’t regret it in the slightest.

The memory played very vividly on his mind. How her lips felt against her, the softness of them in the sweetness of the kiss. It was one of those kisses that make your heart beat double, racing so quickly in your chest that you become sure that it’s about to be ripped out of your chest. And, boy, Cole’s heart had been ripped up. Hell that wasn’t enough to describe how he felt. It was as if his heart had been dragged up his throat, before somebody stomped on it for a bit and shredded it in front of him; and for the grand finale, they had the remains of his heart run over by a bus. That’s exactly how Cole felt.

While the kiss had been mind blowing-ly unforgettably amazing; the after effects had far outweighed the feeling. The regret in her eyes as they filled with tears; the hurt in her voice. She had wanted her best friend; she had needed her best friend, but he had screwed up. He had screwed up big time.

“Are you alright, sir?” A voice questioned, and Cole turned around to find an old man standing behind him, a concerned look on his face. Cole quickly nodded, realising that he was still in the hospital church, still sitting where him and Azelie had kissed.

“Yeah, I’m fine thanks,” Cole replied, sending a small smile to the man. The old man looked like he was in his 80’s, he looked tired with dark circles around his eyes.

“It’s a girl right? You love her?” the man guessed. Cole didn’t even have to answer. The old man slowly made his way up to where Cole was sat. Cole slid up the pew as the man sat next to him, looking straight forward at the cross at the top of the room. “I was about your age when I first fell in love. Things were different back then; but love wasn’t. It never changes, that’s one thing you need to always remember. It can appear in different forms, it can disappear, end and the suddenly hit you like a train. And when I first saw her, well it hit me like a train. I fell in love with her instantly, but she... well... she was difficult about it all,” the old man grinned as if he was thinking back to the memories. He turned to face Cole, opening his mouth to speak once again. “She will come around, just give her time,”

Ted lay motionless on the bed, his eyes closed as if he was sleeping. The ‘beeping’ of the heart monitor was the only noise filling the room as Azelie sat on the chair next to her uncle’s bed, hoping that it wouldn’t be long until he woke up. She needed her uncle more than ever. She needed somebody; anybody. Well, anybody, but Cole.

He had kissed her, the memory constantly playing on her mind, a rush of emotions following it. The urge to run after her best friend and the need to run away counteracted each other, leaving Azelie in an emotional limbo; not knowing if she should take a leap of faith, or just run away and hide. She had already run from him, but who could blame her? She hadn’t exactly been expecting to play a round of tonsil tennis with Cole!

Azelie slowly closed her eyes, while reaching her hand up to rub her head, trying to soothe her headache that had started up. She just needed to stop thinking about what happened with Cole, and concentrate on Ted, it was her fault he was in her anyway. When she opened her eyes again, she found a nurse standing at the bottom of Ted’s bed, updating the sheet on the clip board which tracked how he was doing. The nurse looked over at Azelie, setting her a soft smile.

“You okay there?” the nurse asked, her friendly green eyes reminding Azelie of Cole. So much for not thinking about him

“Yeah, it’s just been a long day,” Azelie answered, sending a weak smile back to the nurse. She looked back over at her uncle. He had been in surgery for a few hours. It was a long and complicated surgery but there hadn’t been any major complications during it which was a good sign, however, it didn’t put Ted in the clear. He still had to wake up.

“I can imagine,” the nurse replied, looking over at Azelie, a worried expression forming on her face. “Is there anybody we can call for you... somebody to look after you?” The nurse questioned, guessing that Azelie wasn’t 18. She had already been asked how old she was went she arrived, and of course, Azelie being smart had figured that if she told them that she was still a minor, that they would call social services and she would be spending the next few weeks in foster care. Azelie had always hated foster care, and the thought of being away from her home wasn’t a positive one, so she simply lied and told them that she was over 18. It was only a small lie, she was only a few months away from turning 18; but nonetheless, she couldn’t let them figure out she was lying. Besides, she had nobody she could call.

“No, there’s nobody you can call,” Azelie said quietly, “Thank you for offering though,” She looked over at her Uncle, realising for the first time, just how alone in the world they really were. It was just her and Ted. Their family either didn’t want to have anything to do with them, or they had died. It was the two of them.

“Oh, okay... if you need any help with anything, just ask anyone around here,’ the nurse replied, as she turned around and left the room. Silence filled the room once again, Azelie’s mind returning to her thoughts from earlier, the memory of the church fogging up her memory.

She was trying to find the loop hole in the labyrinth of her mind, trying to figure out a way she could scramble out of the mistake they had made. She began to wonder if Cole saw it as a mistake too? If he was going as crazy as she was over the whole thing? Would things become awkward between them now? Or would they act as if it never happened?

Suddenly, a ringing broken Azelie’s train of though as she began to furiously look around the room, thinking that something was wrong with Ted, that he was dying, but she soon figured out that Ted was alright. It wasn’t any of his machines that were ringing; so what was? She looked around and soon recognized the sound as Ted’s phone. Azelie walked over to where there was a tray of things that had been found on Ted when he arrived at the hospital, and uncovered his phone. She picked it up, quickly reading the caller ID to see if she knew who it was.

‘Liam,’ Azelie read as she began to think for a second, trying to remember if Ted had ever mentioned a Liam. After a few seconds, her mind drew a blank and Azelie was left with the decision to either answer the phone or ignore it. She quickly picked it up, pressing the answer phone button as she placing the phone up to her ear.

“Jesus Christ Ted! I almost had a heart attack! I was waiting at the gallery for you, but it was closed and somebody on the street stopped and told me that you had been taken to hospital or something! Are you alright?” a man’s voice babbled on, the tone full of worry. Azelie tried to think of what to say in answer, her throat drying up. How could she tell a stranger that her uncle that he had just come out of brain surgery?

“Ted?” The voice questioned, snapping Azelie attention back to the person.

“Hello,” she finally replied, her voice cracking slightly.

“...Who is this? Where’s Ted?”

“I’m his niece,” She said, trying to think of the best way to phases what she had to tell him. “Ted... Ted had an aneurysm in his brain... it burst and...” She started but the person on the other side of the phone interrupted her.

“OH MY GOD! No, no! Where are you? Are you at the hospital?” the voice cried, the heartbreak evident in the voice. Azelie felt uneasy talking somebody over the phone to somebody who was so close to Ted that they sounded like they were almost crying at the idea of him being hurt. Who was this guy?

“Yeah...” Azelie answered. She didn’t get time to say anything else because the phone had started to make a quiet beeping noise, letting Azelie know that the other person had hung up. She pulled the phone away from her ear, looking at the caller ID, trying to figure out if she did know him. He was obviously an important part of Ted’s life if he was that worried about him being hurt; so why hadn’t she heard of him?

It was almost an hour until anybody turned up and when they did, they didn’t do it quietly.

“SIR! I’m going to have to ask you to leave! Only family members can visit in the section of the hospital! You are just going to-” a voice shouted, echoing up and down the corridor outside Ted’s room, catching Azelie’s attention.

“No! I have to see him! Just let me see him!” a familiar voice cried, Azelie instantly recognizing it as the voice that had called Ted sixty minutes ago. She shot up from the comfortable chair she had been sitting in, and began to partially run over to the door of the room and peeping out of the room to look down the corridor to see what all the fuss was about.

There was a tall man standing in the corridor being pushed back by a very angry looking nurse, the same nurse that had asked her if she was okay a few hours ago. The guy was quite handsome, but Azelie didn’t recognize him from anywhere, but she needed to find out exactly how he knew Ted. The guy wanted to see somebody - Azelie presumed it was Ted - but because they were in the part of the hospital where only the very serious cases were kept, only close family was allowed in.

“Please just let me see him! You won’t even let me tell me how he is for Christ’s sake!” the man added, longing filling his eyes as security guards showed up to try to kick him out. Azelie suddenly jumped into action, running down the corridor to where everyone was.

“He can stay,” Azelie shouted quickly, gaining the attention of everyone involved. The man looked up to her, realization to whom she was hitting him instantly. “He’s family..” she lied, looking up at him, hoping that he would be smart enough to go along with her lie. The nurse who had been arguing with the man turned around to look at Azelie, a scowl forming on her features.

“Oh really? And just what family connection is he to you? And why when I asked if he was family, did he say no?” she questioned, Azelie trying to quickly think of an answer.

“He’s a step cousin... we don’t usually refer to him as family because he’s more of a friend really, but he is family nonetheless,” Azelie lied once again, not breaking eye contact with the nurse, praying that she didn’t throw her out as well as him. The nurse let out a slight groan as she nodded slowly.

“Fine then. But only because you are alone in there,” The nurse answered as she turned around to look at the man, “Make sure you state that you are related before causing so much fuss,” she added, looking up at him as security slowly turned alway, leaving him standing in the corridor, facing Azelie. She motioned with her head slightly and turning around.

“Come on,” she added, as she began to walk back up the corridor, the man following her closely.

They walked up the corridor, before Azelie turned into Ted’s room, the guy practically breaking down as he say Ted lying on the bed.

“Oh god,” he cried, his hazel eyes filling up with tears as he covered his mouth with his hand, unable to look away from Ted. “W-what happened?” he questioned, turning around to face Azelie who was a little taken back by the man’s reaction.

“He had a brain aneurysm which was ruptured, and bled in his.. em... brain, and turned into a brain hemorrhage. He’s got out of surgery a couple of hours ago, but he hasn’t woken up yet. The doctors said that they can’t figure out the damage until then,” Azelie replied, trying not to think about finding him, the image popping up in her brain, haunting her like her nightmares.

“He had headaches for weeks now! I told him to get them check out! I damn well told him!” The man began to cry, getting angrier and angrier.

“How do you know him?” Azelie suddenly question, the words practically slipping out of her mouth, “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking,”

“Oh I’m Liam...” he answered without a second thought, “You’re Azelie right?” he asked, looking over at her. She slowly nodded, still not understanding how they knew each other. She walked over to the chair she had been sitting on and Liam walked over to Ted’s bed, sitting down next to him.

“Who found him? Did he collapse on the street or something? We were suppose to be meeting at the gallery...” Liam said, not looking away from Ted.

“Em.. I found him on the kitchen floor... it was the pain of the headache had cause him to pass out

Azelie watched him as he sat next to her uncle, trying to figure everything out. He had just assumed that she would know who he was instead of actually telling her. What if he was a stalker or something? Azelie was sure that Ted would have mentioned it if he had a stalker rather than just leaving Azelie to figure it out for himself.

She watched as Liam bent down slightly to Ted, and kissing him lightly on the forehead, his lips lingering on her Uncle’s forehead as Liam closed his eyes slightly, saying a silent prayer.

Then it finally hit her. The artist that Ted had been so excited about. All of Ted’s secret meetings with the artist. The fact that he was now dating the artist and had refused to tell Azelie the name of his new other half until she got back. He had never, not once, mentioned a gender, always referring to Liam as them. Liam was the artist. Liam, was Ted’s new boyfriend. Azelie sat in a bubble of disbelief as she tried to process the new information. Why hadn’t Ted told her that he was gay? Maybe it just didn’t pop up in conversation, or perhaps Ted just didn’t see the good in telling her. Whatever the reason was, it didn’t matter because Azelie wasn’t alone anymore.

Then again, she was never truly alone. You never are when you carry somebody else’s heart. A heart heavy in Azelie’s arms.

Soo freaking sorry that it's rather short and late, but I was really busy last week! I just couldn't fit writing it anywhere! I promise that this weeks upload will be on time on Thursday, maybe earlier if I get it written but it all really just depends!

Just a quick reminder about the special awards, I believe today is the last day you can nomiate me so if you haven't, please do! I would mean so much to me if you did! Thank you to everyone who has already done it! You are all truely awesome, but did you know that you can do it twice ;)

The song on the side is the wonderful Florence and The Machine's 'Heavy In Your Arms' and I think I've run out of things to say...

- UNICORN OUT