It's ok if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.

- Colette Werden

The rest of the summer went by rather quickly. I felt a lot better after my birthday. For some reason it had given me fresh air, a new breath of hope to push me through the last two weeks. I felt happier, more content and more relieved. I still thought about the shitty situation we were in on a daily basis, but something told me that everything was going to be okay.

The one problem was that this new mindset had allowed me to look at the situation in a new perspective, with a clear mind and I realised that soon, I'd have to make a decision that would determine the rest of my life.

I knew for a fact that I did not want to live here again after my last school year.

"Here's your coat", Draco said as we were packing our trunks. I smiled as I took it and folded it up to tuck away nicely.

"So, are we going to Diagon Alley later today?" I asked, to which Draco nodded. The Hogwarts Express left tomorrow morning and we had yet again procrastinated getting our books until the very last moment.

"Why are you packing your towels? They have those at Hogwarts, you know?" Draco chuckled. We hadn't had this conversation yet and I felt like it was time to just get it over with.

"I might need it after Hogwarts", I shrugged, not being able to look him in the eyes properly. Draco dropped his things and walked over.

"You can still stay here for a while after school, Ellie. I'm not going to ditch you if that's what you think, whatever happens." He took my hand and pulled me towards him so I had to look at him.

"I know that, Draco", I sighed. "But I don't want to come back here, ever."

"Ever?" he frowned. I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"After tomorrow, I'm not coming back to Malfoy Manor. Not for Christmas, not for Easter, not for summer break. There's nothing here for me to stay and I don't want anything to do with these people, especially if the war becomes more heated."

"I am here", he said softly, which made my heart break a little.

"I know, I know", I said. "But you're also at Hogwarts. I don't need to come here for any of the breaks to see you. I have plenty of time with you at school."

Draco looked down. I knew that he understood, but it was hard for him to accept.

"It's much safer to be this close than to distance yourself right before the war, Ellie."

"I don't care, to be honest", I chuckled. "If I die I wouldn't even care much, but I can't keep up this act for the rest of my life, I can't! I'm not going to come back here every holiday and act like I don't hate them for what they did!"

"It's okay", Draco said and pulled me into a hug when he noticed that I got worked up. "It's okay." I sighed and let myself calm down in his arms. I needed to be strong about this. I would become deeply unhappy if I stayed in this toxic environment.

"But what about after Hogwarts, Ellie?" Draco asked. "What about me?"

I pulled back and looked at him. He looked sad, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't follow him everywhere. If he wanted to stay in this inner circle then he could do so, but that didn't mean that I had to be.

"That's your choice Draco. I love you, I genuinely love you, but I can't continue making choices about my life for your sake. I'm making this choice for me and you make your own choice. If you choose to remain close to the Dark Lord, then we'll just work something out. I don't have to be in this house with you for us to be together, I can't. I have a life too."

Draco looked down, taking my hands in his and rubbing the backs of my hands with his thumbs.

"They're not just going to leave us alone if I stay in this position, Ellie."

"As I said, Draco, I can't make that choice for you."

"You and I both know it's not a choice, Ellie. This is not some friend group I can step out of. The Dark Lord will kill me if I don't do his bidding." I looked down. My heart ached, knowing that he was right. There was no way out but death, and I wasn't willing to lose Draco, ever.

"Then we'll have to hope that the Dark Lord does not win the war and if he does, we'll just run away", I smiled. It was no use to worry about it now. There were too many uncertainties still. Everything could still happen.

"To Paris?" he whispered, a smile on his lips.

"To Paris."

We packed the rest of our stuff and then decided to get lunch in Diagon Alley, as it was a little too busy at Malfoy Manor for my liking. Draco got a little shopping list from Bellatrix, which he complained about at least half an hour.

"I'll get these things first, to get it over with. I'll be back in half an hour tops, okay?" he said, checking the list.

"I'll come with."

"No, no, these are some really sketchy shops in Knockturn Alley. It's far too dangerous, love", he shook his head. He gave me a quick kiss before heading off into the dark alleyway. I sighed and looked around, debating on how to spend the half hour.

Diagon Alley had changed a lot over the past year. It wasn't half as cheerful as it used to be. It was darker, less crowded and more quiet. I remembered the smell of fresh pumpkin pasties, the exciting faces of the first-years and the excited squeals of peers seeing each other again for the first time after a long magicless summer. Right now it felt almost eerie.

Only Weasley's Wizard Wheezes still radiated joy and glee, like it always had. I still hadn't visited it and a part of me still felt like I didn't belong there, but I promised myself that one day, I would go in there. I would.

And then one hand covered my mouth as the other grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me into an alleyway.

In a swift moment I had kneed my attacker in the crotch, gotten out my wand and pointed it at whoever was behind me. I was met by Harry Potter moaning in pain and a shocked Weasley and Granger.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" I spat. Granger looked behind me and stepped a little deeper into the alleyway.

"I'm sorry, we can't be seen out", she whispered.

"And a simple Hey, please come talk to me in this alleyway wouldn't do?" I rolled my eyes. What did they want from me anyway?

"Right, sorry", Potter said, trying to stand up straight again. Just seeing him made anger soar through my veins as images of the bathroom incident of a few months ago popped into my head again.

"What do you want?" I said, crossing my arms.

"Right", Harry said. "We were wondering if you've seen this locket before", he said and got out an interesting looking locket out of his pocket. I had seen it before.

"Well, it's in your hand, isn't it? Be more specific, please?" I grunted. It was dangerous to be seen with these people. There was a death sentence on their head, so also on mine if I was caught.

"This is a fake one, a replica. We're looking for the real locket and we've heard that the S stands for Selwyn, so we thought you might recognise it as a family heirloom", Potter said. The subject interested me, but I was far too petty to help this oaf. Draco almost died because of him.

"Well, is it?" Weasley pushed.

"Why should I help you, exactly?" I questioned. "Weren't you the person that told Benjamin that I was bad news? And that he should watch out for me because of my parents? And now I should help your prejudiced arse? Give me one good reason." I genuinely felt hatred towards these people. I had felt bad for Potter at Dumbledore's death, but they simply had to stop thinking that the world revolved around them and that everyone needed to do anything to help them.

"Who are you to talk about prejudice", Ron sneered. "As if you don't judge me for my parents. That's quite hypocritical, don't you think?"

Hermione slammed her elbow in Ron's ribs causing him to shut up. I clenched my jaw, trying to remain calm.

"I have always admired your family, Weasley, but nice to know that you hold me in such high regard." We glared at each other for a while, until he decided to back down as he looked away.

"Sorry, we don't mean it like that, Ron's an arse", Granger sighed. "We just really need to find that locket. You know what this is about." I looked at her suspiciously. I suspected that this had something to do with Potter's fight with Lord Voldemort, but why come to me for help? They knew that I was close to that side.

"It's not a family heirloom, the S stands of Slytherin, not for Selwyn, but I do know who has it", I said eventually, crossing my arms again. I knew exactly what to do. Helping them would in the end be beneficial for me, as I didn't want to live in a world where Lord Voldemort ruled, but I could get a little something else out of this. Better even, I could help someone else.

"Well, who is it?" Harry asked.

"I'll tell you under one condition", I said, raising an eyebrow. "I want you to hand over the ownership of Kreacher."

Harry frowned deeply, clearly not expecting that request.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you treat him poorly and he deserves a household that actually cares about him", I stated dryly. It was true. Kreacher was a very loyal elf and he was lost with a Master like Harry Potter, no matter which side won.

Potter and Granger argued for a while on a whisper-tone, but it was something about Kreacher being the elf of the Black family.

"Okay, I will, I promise, just tell me who has the locket", Harry sighed eventually. I cheered internally for this little victory. It had been a while since I had been able to use my Slytherin qualities to my advantage.

"I last saw it a year ago in the hands of Dolores Umbridge. I doubt she has gotten rid of it as she indeed claims it is an heirloom which she supposedly inherited from the Selwyn family, but she's both lying about it being an heirloom and about her being related to my family."

"Bloody hell, she works at the Ministry, doesn't she?" Ron complained.

"Guess we have our work cut out of us, thank you, Selwyn", Potter sighed.

"Just get the message to Kreacher", I mumbled. He nodded and turned around.

"Granger?" I called for her as they walked away. "You do know that I live in the same house as the Dark Lord at the moment, do you?" I frowned. Were they really that careless? Granger looked at her companions for a while, but then walked back to me.

"We do, but we also know that you're not like them, at least not really", she said. I couldn't help but smile a little bit. Even they knew.

"Well I hope you find it and if you do, please plant your foot in Umbridge's face on my behalf."

"I will", Granger laughed. She waved awkwardly before following the two boys into the dark.