People at war with themselves will always cause collateral damage in the lives of those around them.

- John Mark Green

"Draco?" I asked as I entered his dorm room. I had been looking for him everywhere, but he had been avoiding me for the past few days and I was quite sure that I knew why he was doing that. He hadn't been at dinner, which worried me. He hadn't skipped a meal in weeks.

"Huh? Oh, come in", he mumbled. He was looking out of the glass window. The windows in the dungeons always fascinated me as they were beneath the Great Lake. The calm ripples of the water and the beautiful sunlight that scattered on the surface was the most beautiful view to wake up to.

I closed the door behind me and stood beside him, looking at the calm water.

"How are you?" I asked genuinely. I knew that he wasn't ignoring me because I had done something wrong, he was simply scared of what was to come, which was quite understandable.

"I'm fine", he shrugged. He always said that. He never answered the question honestly unless I kept pushing it, but pushing it would only worsen the situation today.

"I know you're scared, Draco, I am too, but you need to do this. It's the only way to save your life", I said and I took his hand. "It's the end of June, our exams are over. It has to happen."

He didn't say anything, but I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. In just a couple of days, our sixth year would be over, just one more to go. The Vanishing Cabinet was completely finished, waiting to be used. But Draco was scared, he was stalling.

"You can do this Draco, you're strong", I continued. "And it's the only option. You're not a bad person for doing what you've been told." I didn't know if Draco could do it. I highly doubted it, actually, even though I had tried to mentally prepare him for it.

Draco was just not a murderer. Sure, he had trouble with empathy and always had his own best interests at heart, but he was no assassin, he didn't want to take someone's life.

"It's going to happen tonight", he said suddenly, turning his head my way. There was a scared look in his eyes and I felt slightly responsible. The past three months had been a blessing. He was more careless, less stressed and overall happier. And now all of that happiness needed to fall apart in order for him to complete this task.

He couldn't be vulnerable, or positive or happy. He had to be cold-hearted to complete this task. He had to turn to ice again, and I was afraid that my fire had melted that ice.

"Tonight?" I whispered, holding onto his hand. He nodded and looked away again.

"I notified Malfoy Manor. They'll be here at ten tonight." I checked my watch. It was already eight. They'd be here in two hours. Dumbledore would be dead in a little more than that.

"And where will we be?" I asked. Draco looked at me again and shook his head.

"I, not we, Ellie. You've been a great help these past few months, but I have to finish it alone", he said, an incredibly sad look on his face. I couldn't even object all that much.

"This is a serious quest, Draco, I might be able to help, even if it's just as sideline support."

Draco shook his head again. "It will be a crime scene, Ellie. I don't want to cause you any unnecessary trouble. Besides ..."

It was quiet for a very long time, but I knew that all Draco needed was time. It's all he had ever needed.

"Besides, I don't want you to see it, I really don't", he whispered. He was still scared that I would think differently about him afterwards. Some part of me was scared of it too.

After tonight, Draco would be a murderer.

But I couldn't think like that. Draco was so, so much more and this was an identity that was forced upon him. This was not something he'd do willingly, not who he was.

I pulled him into a hug, resting my head on his chest. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I knew that he wanted me to stand at the sidelines, not doing anything and my mind told me that too, but my heart ached to help him.

"Promise me you'll stay in your dorm, please", Draco said softly, his voice breaking slightly. Right now I just wanted Draco to be okay, that's all I ever wanted. I nodded. It's what he wanted.

"No, Ellie, look at me", he said, gently putting his hand under my chin and lifting it up so my eyes met his. "I need you to promise me. I never asked you to promise me anything, but I am asking you this. When everything goes down tonight, I want you to just stay here, where nothing can happen to you. I'll do what I have to do and then I'll see you again soon, okay? I know that you don't care about me being a Death Eater, but there will be many of them tonight. You don't want to be considered one of us. For this once, you have to promise me to stay out of it."

He put his hand on my cheek and looked at me more genuinely than he ever had before. And all I could do was obey. It's what he desperately wanted. He'd never be able to finish the task if I was there with him. He needed to be surrounded by them tonight, Death Eaters.

He needed to turn into ice for a little moment, and my fire was preventing that.

"I promise", I whispered and a short, relieved smile spread onto his face.

"Thank you", he whispered before gently pressing his lips on mine.

"But I'll be staying with you until then, okay?" I said and he nodded, pulling me to his bed. I held him tightly as we stared at the ceiling, letting the ripples of the water against the glass keep us from falling into an abyss of panic.

We didn't say anything for a long time. All the words had been said. All that was left to say was goodbye, at least for now.

We didn't know what would happen afterwards and I hadn't allowed myself to think about it yet, because it only brought along depressive thoughts. If Dumbledore died tonight, then the Dark Lord had to take over the school. If the school remained in the hands of the Ministry, Draco wouldn't be able to return next year. I couldn't see him much over the summer either, at least if Snape kept his mouth shut.

I suddenly was a huge supporter of Voldemort's side. If they didn't take over the Wizarding World, I wouldn't see Draco for a full year at least.

"I should get going", Draco said after a long time. I checked my watch. It was a quarter to ten. Why had time decided to do a little sprint when it was least wanted?

I nodded and stood up with him. My voice got stuck in my throat and I felt so anxious. I hadn't prepared for a goodbye. He walked to the door and then turned around, sighing softly. He smiled slightly, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He then placed a kiss on my forehead and took my hands in his. He was pale and his hands trembled slightly, but there was absolutely nothing I could do. Neither of us had any power in this situation.

"I love you, Ellie. I love you so much", he said before he turned around towards the door.

I pulled him back and wrapped my arms tightly around him, as if this was a true goodbye.

"Be careful, okay? I need you back with me after this", I whispered, not wanting to let him go.

"I will, I'll see you as soon as the summer starts, I'll make sure of that, okay?" he said. He then kissed me slowly, but so lovingly, as if it would be the last one. As if we'd never see each other again.

"I love you too, love", I whispered. He stood still for a little while, and then he pulled open the door and disappeared.

And I felt empty.

I laid on Draco's bed for a little while, his lingering scent calming me down slightly, until Tracey and Blaise stumbled in. I excused myself and made my way over to my own dorm room. I hesitated shortly when I saw the exit of the common room, but I couldn't break that promise. It was better this way.

"Lea, are you okay?" Daphne asked as I walked in. It was too difficult to pretend that everything was okay.

"Yes, I'm fine", I said, staring out of the window into the black depths of the Great Lake at night. I imagined being a fly, following Draco down the hallways.

He was now walking to the Room of Requirement, maybe already halfway there. He would prepare the Vanishing Cabinet and at exactly ten o'clock, he'd perform the required spell. He'd let Death Eaters into the school, however many of them. And then ... then he'd go to Dumbledore and kill him.

I couldn't even imagine the last scene. I couldn't picture Draco murdering Dumbledore. He'd never admit it, but he looked up to the man, he felt safe around him.

But he'd have to. He'd have to perform the spell, Avada Kedavra. I had witnessed two out of three Unforgivable Curses in my life, but not that one. I couldn't imagine casting it. The green light and then, watching the light in someone's eyes go out. I shouldn't feel so scared about it, but I did.

It hadn't really dawned on me yet that I wouldn't be able to speak to Draco for at least two months. We just shared our last hug, our last kiss. I would only see him again if everything went to plan perfectly tonight and if Lord Voldemort took over the Ministry.

Suddenly all I felt was fear.

What if Draco couldn't do it? The chances were so high, what would happen? Was there a possibility that Draco would die tonight? Or what if something went wrong and Dumbledore somehow had figured out his plans? What if he'd be captured and sent to Azkaban, possibly forever? What if the Vanishing Cabinet malfunctioned and he couldn't get the Death Eaters in here? What would happen? Would I lose Draco tonight?

I didn't realise that I was hyperventilating until I felt Daphne's arms around me. I jumped slightly, but she just looked at me empathetically and pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged her back. I was so happy that I had told her about it, that I wasn't alone.

"It's happening tonight, isn't it?" she said softly. All I could do was nod.

"He'll be fine, Lea. He's strong and he's prepared. You'll be fine."

We sat in our dorm room for a long time. I had pulled off my watch because hearing the ticks of the hand drove me to insanity. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, at all, but I was wide awake anyway.

Three times I stood up to do something. To just go to the Room of Requirement to do anything, at least to just see him again, but I couldn't. Not only would it make it even more difficult for Draco to fulfill the task with me watching, it would make me an accomplice. It would make me dependable on the Dark Lord for safety.

And I never wanted to depend on him for anything.

Daphne pulled me back down every time and convinced me to stay. She started talking about our childhood to distract me from the situation, but it was no use. My mind was so deep into the possible complications that I wouldn't calm down until I knew a hundred percent sure that Draco was okay. Maybe he was already dead. Maybe I'd never see him again.

At a little before eleven, Tracey stormed into our dorm.

"You have to come right now", was all she said. Daphne and I looked at each other briefly before standing up and following her out. When we reached the common room, there were whispers everywhere. Everyone was awake, some in pyjamas. Most people walked out of the common room, even though it was way past curfew. Others stood around awkwardly, not knowing what to do. One whisper reoccurred constantly.

Somebody killed Dumbledore.

I was pushed along with a group of fourth-years who walked out of the common room. We saw the Hufflepuffs leaving their dormitories, whispering panicky.

There's a Dark Mark in the sky.

Bellatrix Lestrange was inside the castle.

Dumbledore got murdered.

My mind went completely numb as I followed the rest of the students up the stairs to the main floor, where we were met with the Ravenclaws and the Gryffindors. They all walked outside, and the further we walked, the more quiet it got.

My feet stopped walking when we reached the edge of the Courtyard. Almost all Hogwarts students were gathered outside, surrounding the body of Albus Dumbledore. He was dead. Draco had killed Dumbledore.

I felt sad, because I admired this man greatly and sad because Draco was now a murderer, but I knew that it was what needed to be done. So I just felt numb.

I looked up at the sky to see the Dark Mark up there, dooming over the school. It was the mark of the Dark Lord, of my side.

Harry Potter was kneeling next to Dumbledore's body, sobbing at what had happened. I despised Potter greatly, but my heart ached at the sight. He had lost an important person in his life. Draco had murdered Dumbledore.

A little light caught my eyes. Professor McGonagall rose her wand, the tip of light pointed up at the sky. Soon more wands followed, the light breaking through the complete silence. I couldn't bring myself to it. I couldn't bring myself to raise my wand, to defeat the mark that was associated with my family. I wasn't worthy of joining this cause.

So I just turned around and walked away.