It's scary how many people think they want to die when really, they want to start living.

- Duskbird

"Draco, are you in there?" I asked. He wasn't at breakfast today, causing me to feel the need to check in on him. I heard a stumble behind the door of his dorm room, but he didn't answer. I decided to just walk in anyway, like I usually did.

I felt relieved that I did find him in his room, but the relief soon turned into worry again. He was folding all his clothes, which I used to think was just him being brought-up well, but over the month that had passed since Easter, I had recognised it as a nervous tic. Whenever Draco was stressed, he'd clean his room or sort through his book case or start folding and refolding his clothes. He did it so compulsively that he didn't notice me coming in.

He was doing a whole lot better since before Easter break, eating and sleeping well, but the anxiety was something that I couldn't take away for him and something that only increased as the dreaded day neared. It didn't happen often, but sometimes he would panic, just by a little trigger.

"Hey, Draco?" I said as I closed the door behind me. I walked up to him and gently placed a hand on his arm. His eyes shot up and his hand was on his wand in no-time, but his look softened as his eyes met mine.

"Are you okay?" I asked, but he simply nodded and turned away. Grabbing the pot of ink from his nightstand. He took the cap and tried to screw it on, but his hands were shaking, making the task impossible. I watched him struggle as the knuckles holding the pot of ink turned white.

"For fuck's sake!" he shouted, throwing the pot to the other side of the room, catching me off guard. I had to calm him down.

"Draco, love, what's wrong?" I asked, stepping in front of him and grabbing both his wrists so he had to look at me. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. I gently let go of his wrists and put one hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes again, looking at me with a sad look in his eyes.

"What's going on?" I asked again, very softly to not pressure him.

"I'm fine", he mumbled. He clearly didn't feel like talking. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept well tonight. It happened often, not because he went to bed late, but because he kept overthinking everything at night. I took his hand and brought it up to my lips, placing a small kiss on the back of it. His hands were cold, even though small beads of sweat pearled on his forehead.

And then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him, nuzzling his head in my hair. I gently rubbed his back, listening to his heart beat. There was very little I could do for him when he was feeling like this, except just being there for a while. It hurt me every time to think about the fact that during most of the previous months, he didn't have anyone to calm him down.

"I love you", Draco whispered, pressing a kiss against my forehead. I smiled up at him, as those words always made me feel so happy inside.

"I love you too, a lot", I said, pecking his lips softly. His heart rate had calmed down and he seemed to be okay again. "I realised I did exactly one year ago", I chuckled. "It's been one year since our fight after your date with Daphne."

"Hmm, that really was something", Draco said, looking up as if the memories were on the ceiling. "I remember feeling so distraught when you cried. I couldn't believe I made Eleanor Selwyn cry."

"That was the first time I had properly cried in at least five years", I said, thinking back to that moment. Benjamin had been the one to comfort me back then. I hadn't spoken to Benjamin since our last talk right before Christmas break. He didn't try to talk to me, so I didn't talk to him either. I hadn't thought about him for a while, as it hurt to think about. I still missed him sometimes.

"I'm sorry", he whispered, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

"So, what are the plans for today?"

"Don't you have Herbology in ten minutes?" he frowned as he checked his watch. I groaned at the thought.

"Yes, and I hate you for not being in that class with me." Draco laughed and pecked my lips again.

"I'll go get some more books in the library in the meantime and then we can spend the afternoon at the lake, alright?"

"Alright", I sighed. I kissed him again, a little longer this time, before pulling away. The walk to the Greenhouses was definitely ten minutes long, so I'd be late.

"I'll come back here when class is finished", I said before I closed the door behind me.

I got my bag from my own dorm and walked to the Greenhouses as quickly as I could. Tracey had already left and Daphne didn't take the class, so it was just me.

"Sorry I'm late professor, I realised halfway here that I had forgotten my book", I lied as I walked in. Sprout believed almost every excuse, so she never docked house points.

"No problem, I was just about to start", she said and waved me over. I smiled at her and walked over to my spot between Tracey and Gryffindor Neville Longbottom. I think the boy was a bit scared of me, as he always looked away when I looked at him. He seemed nice, though.

"How come you're late, Miss Selwyn?" Tracey asked, poking her elbow in my side. "What on earth were you doing in Draco's room that made you late for class?"

"Oh shut it, Davies, it's not like that", I rolled my eyes.

"Blaise wants to hang out after class. D'you reckon he just wants to snog or could he actually have plans? He usually never asks, he just kidnaps me", Tracey said.

"Ooh, that does sound promising", I smiled. The two still weren't together officially, which was an absolute pain. They might as well make it official, as they could be seen snogging most hours of the day.

The rest of the class went by excruciatingly slow as we tended our Fluxweed plants which would soon be ready to be picked. I was very, very happy when Sprout dismissed us. Tracey had other plans, but I didn't mind walking back alone. I had somewhere to be too.

Just two more months and then the school year would be finished. Just one more summer holiday I'd have to spend at home.

I knocked on the door of Draco's dorm, which did get a response this time.

"Come in", he said, so I pushed open the door. I stopped in my tracks at the sight. Draco stood in the middle of his room without a shirt on. He was towel-drying his hair, fresh from the shower.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to", I said as I quickly turned around again. It should be a crime to look that attractive.

"I told you to come in", Draco chuckled. I heard his footsteps and soon he stood behind me, his arms snaking around my waist.

"Do I make you uncomfortable, Ellie?" he whispered. I could feel his damp hair against my cheek and smelled the scent of his shampoo. I turned around to be met by the disappointing sight of a shirt around his torso. The towel was draped around his neck and his hair, usually styled perfectly, was in every direction.

"I preferred you without a shirt", I whispered, a smile lurking around my lips. I liked how he made me feel so confident. He smirked, pulling me closer and kissing me slowly. With a swish of his hand he had closed and locked the door. Draco had always been good at wandless magic and it was incredibly attractive.

I tugged on the hem of his shirt and eventually he pulled it off again.

"Much better", I grinned, barely separating my lips from his.

"Then I think you should drop this too", he said, pushing my bag from my shoulders, followed by my cloak.

"It was getting quite hot in here anyway", I said, to which he chuckled. His hands found their way to my waist again as he pulled me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my hands in his damp hair.

"Draco, can you unlock the door? I need my book for Ancient Runes", Nott shouted from the other side of the door. Draco groaned, reluctantly stepping away. I chuckled at his annoyance, putting my cloak back on and trying to cover the blush on my face.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt", Theo smirked as he quickly grabbed what he was looking for. He bolted out of the room before Draco could hex him.

"Let's spend lunch at the lake, shall we?" I proposed. He nodded and grabbed the books he had gotten from the library.

Over a month had passed since Easter break. The days after my visit to Malfoy Manor had been very uneventful. I spent all of it at Selwyn Keep, not daring to visit Narcissa without a formal invitation. It wasn't just Malfoy Manor anymore, it was the headquarters of the Dark Lord.

As soon as we got back to Hogwarts, Draco and I got to work and this time, he let me help. It was mainly him, as I simply couldn't catch up quickly with all the knowledge and experience he had gathered over the last seven months, but I made sure he ate properly and got enough sleep and I calmed him down when he got frustrated and tried my very best to help him find the solution.

But it worked. We made significant progress, both on the cabinet and on Draco's mental health. He looked healthier and he still got these anxiety attacks often, but I managed to ground him most times, like I had done this morning. In exchange, he made me a happier person. He spent time with me when I asked him to and when I didn't. We could do this together, we made a good team.

I did notice that the closer we got to actually finishing it, the more reluctant he got. I think that if we wanted to, we could get the cabinet finished in a week or two, but he wasn't nearly as eager to work on it as before. He preferred sitting by the lake, enjoying the nice spring weather, like right now.

"Oh, this is quite interesting", I said after about an hour of reading and snacking on some sandwiches we had gotten from the Great Hall. I held up the chapter in the book that I was reading for Draco to see. He frowned as he momentarily stopped playing with my hair to scan the page. It was a chapter on how different types of wood react to certain spells.

"Yeah, we can try that", he said as he scanned the chapter, which mentioned many variations to add to a spell for each type of wood. I watched as his eyes scanned the paper, a slight frown on his face. I could not get over how attractive he was.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked without taking his eyes off the page.

"I like to look at beautiful things", I said. He looked down, meeting my eyes. He pulled me up higher so I sat between his legs. I turned a quarter to look at him.

"So cheesy, Ellie", he smiled, twisting a strand of my hair around his finger. I couldn't help it around him. He got out the worst in me.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked as I didn't look away. In the past I wouldn't be caught dead staring at him without a venomous look on my face, but time's had changed.

"I just can't believe it's you", I said after a while.

"What do you mean?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I don't fall in love with people very often, so I just can't believe it was you. Out of everyone, you just had to steal my heart. That's very rude, you know, to steal?"

Draco chuckled, forgetting all about the book and wrapping his arms around me again. He rested his chin on my shoulder, pressing a soft kiss on my jawline.

"You're really something, Ellie", he said, his soft breath tickling my neck.

"Snape could be around here somewhere, we should really be more careful", I whispered, but I didn't feel like being more careful at all.

"Snape taking a stroll around the lake? Don't make me laugh." I smiled at the image. That certainly wasn't a very common sight. So I just rested my head on Draco's shoulder and enjoyed this moment. Sooner or later, something would probably mess it up again, so I had to enjoy it as long as I could, hoping that one day it would be forever.

One day he'd be my forever.