I hope that someday when I am gone, someone, somewhere, picks my soul up off of these pages and thinks, "I would have loved her."

- Nicole Lyons

I think that if I had smelled an Amortentia potion before Draco so rudely invaded my life, one of the appearing scents would be that pleasant, earthy smell after rainfall. There's a word for that specific scent: petrichor.

When I was younger, I used to keep a list of words I thought were beautiful. Words that I had never heard of and that weren't used in spoken language, but that I discovered when reading. I spent most of my days before Hogwarts in the library, in between my homeschool classes. I read books that were way too difficult for me to comprehend, but I didn't mind. I didn't care much for the stories about old witches and wizards and their life, but I preferred looking at the pretty words and I made a list of my favourite ones.

Petrichor was one of them, as was vellichor, meaning the strange wistfulness of used bookshops. There was also effervescence and ephemeral and mellifluous. Not all of them had fun meanings, but I didn't care much for them. I cared about how a couple of letters could create something so intriguing, more magical than any spell Hogwarts had taught me.

Petrichor, a sign of the end of the harshness of winter, the introduction of spring. It was the beginning of March and I found myself looking out into the Courtyard, where the clouds were shedding their last drops of rain. It was almost curfew, but I had patrol tonight, so it was no big deal. I didn't feel like being in the common room right now.

I didn't quite know what I was feeling recently. I mean, I was fine, life was just continuing like it always had, but I just felt so sad sometimes. I just needed something to look forward to. I felt caught in a life that I didn't want to live.

But I had to enjoy these last months at Hogwarts, because the summer would be so much worse.

I hadn't talked to Draco in over two months. I had worried a lot, especially when I found out that Ron Weasley landed in the hospital wing after drinking a poison that was meant for Dumbledore. I worried that he'd get caught, that he'd get hurt and most of all, I was so scared that he would fail.

I knew that I had to stop worrying, but how could I after what he had said to me over Christmas break? I wish I could choose you, Ellie, I really do, but I can't do that without trading your life for it. And I love you too much to do that.

I had repeated those words in my head hundreds of times. He loved me and I loved him. He was right though, there was no future for us where we could be together without one of us getting killed. We had messed that up the minute we let the Dark Lord believe that we hated each other. Back then it was the best thing to do and I knew it had been the right thing to do, but it had dire consequences.

If only I could just go back to how things were at the beginning of last year, when I just didn't care.

"Dobby must hurry to see Harry Potter", I heard down the hallway. "Harry Potter has requested Dobby's presence personally. Dobby must hurry. Harry Potter mentioned master Malfoy."

I couldn't help but stand up from the window sill I was sitting in. Dobby was running towards the Hospital Wing. Master Malfoy? Why did Harry Potter want to talk to Dobby about Lucius?

I had known Dobby for quite a few years, as he used to be one of the house elves at Malfoy Manor. Dobby never really liked me, as he liked only those who were a big fan of Harry Potter, so I didn't know him quite well. He was outgoing and clumsy and lived in his own little bubble, which Lucius didn't appreciate very much. He gave Dobby quite a hard time, so the elf fled to Hogwarts when he had gotten the chance.

Another elf walked through the hallway and I recognised him as Kreacher, the elf from the Black household. What was Potter up to?

Before I could stop myself, I cast the Invisibility Charm and followed the second elf to the Hospital Wing.

Luckily the door was open, so I quietly slipped in. The Hospital Wing was very empty, not even Madame Pomfrey was present. Ron Weasley, who had been poisoned a while ago and Harry Potter, who had been injured during the last Quidditch match, laid in two beds on the left side of the hall. Dobby was already at his bed, Kreacher on his way over.

"Muffliato", Harry whispered and pointed his wand at the door. He for sure was up to no good.

I made sure to hide behind one of the curtains, just close enough to be able to hear them. I was invisible, but I knew that elves were much more observant than wizards.

I couldn't quite make out the first half of the conversation whilst looking for a secure spot to eavesdrop, but it ended with Dobby's fist in Kreacher's face for some reason.

"Master called me?" Kreacher spoke, clearly not in a good mood. Harry Potter was his Master? Since when? Perhaps he was left to Harry after Sirius's death last year.

"I've got a job for you", Harry said. I rolled my eyes. He was such a hypocrite, always hating on pure-blood families having house elves.

"Kreacher will do whatever Master wants", the elf said. "Because Kreacher has no choice, but Kreacher is ashamed to have such a Master."

"Dobby will do it, Harry Potter!" Dobby squeaked. He worshiped the scar-head.

"Come to think of it, it would be good to have both of you", said Harry. "OK then ... I want you to tail Draco Malfoy."

My eyes widened at that new information. Harry Potter was using his house elves to spy on Draco? Where had he found that audacity? Why was he prying into Draco's business?

"I want to know where he's going, who he's meeting and what he's doing. I want you to follow him around the clock." I narrowed my eyes, my blood starting to boil. Who did he think he was? I missed the last part of the conversation, but judging by Kreacher's scowl, it had been more of the same.

"That's settled then", Harry sighed. I had to do something. I couldn't let him find out about what Draco was doing. The situation was risky enough as is. I followed the elves outside and spoke up as soon as the door was closed behind us.

"Dobby, Kreacher, I think we need to have a talk." The two house elves stopped and turned around. I broke the Invisibility Charm and crossed my arms.

"Miss Selwyn, nice to meet you", Kreacher said and bowed deeply.

"Miss Selwyn, I remember you from Malfoy Manor", Dobby said, looking a little bit more suspicious.

"Nice to meet you, Kreacher, and nice to see you again, Dobby. I heard you're doing well here at Hogwarts."

"I am, Miss Selwyn, Dobby is having the best time of his life, but I ought to go right now, if you don't mind."

"I do mind, actually", I said before he could walk away. "I can't let you follow Draco Malfoy."

"It's rude to eavesdrop, Miss Selwyn", Dobby complained, crossing his arms as well.

"It's also rude to disrespect your former Master like that, Dobby. I know the Malfoy's weren't always very nice to you, but I didn't expect you to cross them so unashamedly."

If there was one thing house elves were very prone to, it was influence through feelings of shame, current or former Master. They were very loyal creatures and questioning their loyalty was the best way to get their attention.

"Harry Potter has requested it personally, so Dobby will do so", he continued.

"So you're taking an order from someone who isn't your Master to cross someone who used to be yours?" He looked slightly confused, but I knew that it would be a difficult task to convince Dobby to not do Harry Potter's bidding.

"I must obey Harry Potter, Miss Selwyn, as he is my Master", Kreacher groaned. "I wish I didn't have to, I'm ashamed to be his house elf." Kreacher always looked miserable, but right now he seemed genuinely sad.

"How is he treating you, Kreacher?" I asked and squatted down to speak to him at eye-level.

"He's just like his godfather, only calls me if he needs me, always demanding things, never asking nicely", he growled. He clearly didn't like Potter and I could see why. That's the thing with house-elves. They're loyal to people who are kind to them, that's all they ask. They just want a little bit of respect and Potter wasn't giving him any.

"Then don't obey, Kreacher. You're an elf, not a dog. He has sent you to work here in the kitchens, what is he going to do if you don't obey?"

"Master Black used to punish me if I didn't, Miss Selwyn."

"And you think Harry Potter is going to punish you? At most he'll no longer consider you his house elf, and if that happens, I'd be glad to take you in, Kreacher." I had no need for a house elf, but his situation did bother me for some reason, only there to complete some tasks for the great Harry Potter.

"I'd be honored to serve a house as respected as the Selwyns", he said, bowing again.

"Well, then I need you to not tail Malfoy, okay? Can you do that?" I asked.

"I can do that, Miss Selwyn." I stood up and smiled at him. Just then I noticed the disappearance of the second culprit.

"Bloody hell, where did Dobby go?" I sighed. This elf was going to be the death of me, maybe quite literally.

"I'll see you around, Kreacher, feel free to find me whenever." Kreacher bowed again as I walked off. There was no convincing Dobby. He was practically in love with Potter and would do anything he said. I had to make sure that at least, Draco was aware.

I walked back to the common room. I wasn't in the mood to do patrol tonight.

Both Crabbe and Goyle were in the common room, which meant that Draco wasn't in the Room of Requirement, fortunately. He'd most likely be in his room. I took a deep breath and walked to the boy's dormitories.

Nott just walked out as I approached the door.

"Selwyn, you need anything?" he frowned.

"Yes, I need to speak to Malfoy, quite urgently", I said, trying to sound neutral. I just had to warn him, that's all. I didn't need Theo to start conspiring.

"He's in there", he shrugged, leaving the door open as he walked to the common room. I took a deep breath before walking into the room.

I had never been in the boys's dormitories before, but they were almost exactly like the girl dormitories, only much messier. One side of the room was completely tidy, with Draco sitting on the four-poster bed. I closed the door behind me so no one could eavesdrop and walked over.

"Eleanor? What are you doing here?" he frowned, looking up from the book he was reading. My heart ached a little as I saw which book it was. Exquisite Wizardry of Alchemic forgery Vol I was engraved in the leather bound cover. The book seemed worn, as if it had been read uncountable times. It was the book I had gotten him for his birthday.

"I'm here to warn you", I said, forcing myself to look him in the eyes. I always referred to them as silver, but in this light, they just seemed grey and quite empty.

"About what?"

"Potter is up in your business again. He has ordered Kreacher and Dobby to tail you. I managed to talk Kreacher out of it, but Dobby is more loyal to scar-face than any elf."

"For Merlin's sake", he groaned, going with his hand through his hair.

"Just be careful, you know he'll get in your way at some point", I said.

"Yeah, he always does." I stood there for a while, before deciding to just leave. I had said what I needed to say.

"Eleanor?" he said as my hand rested on the doorknob. "Thank you."

I bit my lip to not say anything stupid, but yet again I was confronted with how much I had missed hearing his voice.

"No problem, just here to help", I said and walked out. Some part of me hoped he'd realise that my help could be useful, but I knew that it was foolish to have hope. It'd just leave me all the more disappointed. We all have this perfect picture in our mind of how things should be and it's unattainable. We're all doomed to be disappointed.

Drapetomania, another one of those words and one I felt so deeply right now, an overwhelming urge to run away.