Falling for you was a very brave thing to do. I had been dauntless, bold. But the problem was that I had fallen for someone who would never be brave enough to fall for me too.

- Unknown

I took a deep breath, wiping my hands on my plaid skirt. We had just received the letter, the invitation. My mother and I had been invited to visit Malfoy Manor.

I was nervous for many reasons, most of all to meet him, the Dark Lord.

Ever since Draco left, I had set a goal to keep myself occupied and achieving it was the only thing I let myself focus on. My life was changing and I needed to change too. I had to adapt to this new environment that was here to stay.

When I'd meet him, I'd be ready. I'd be who they wanted me to be, who I was destined to be. If I had any way to help my dad get out of Azkaban, I had to take it. I had to make him proud.

And I was nervous to see him, to see Draco.

I knew that we most likely wouldn't talk to or even acknowledge each other, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to resist glancing at him when no one was watching. I knew that it had happened and I wanted to know if it had changed him. I wanted to know if he was still the Draco I had grown so fond of.

"Come on, Eleanor, it's time", my mother said, extending the jar of floo powder. I straightened my dress again and put on the Selwyn half-smile before grabbing a fistfull of floo powder.

"Malfoy Manor", I said and dropped the dust at my feet.

It was surprisingly calm at the manor, as there was only one person in the sitting room that we appeared in. But that woman could fill the room just by her presence.

"Ah, Eleanor, long time no see", Bellatrix chimed, standing up from the seat she was sitting in. "Mrs Selwyn, welcome", she greeted my mother.

"It's a pleasure to see you again", my mother told Bellatrix, a smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes. Narcissa walked in and her eyes widened very briefly. She hadn't expected us.

"Eleanor, dear, he wants to see you, he's outside", Bellatrix continued, pushing me towards the exit to the garden. He wanted to see me? He as in the Dark Lord? Why would he want to speak to me personally? Or maybe, she was talking about Draco?

But I was disappointed as soon as my feet hit the sun-scorched grass. I had never seen him in person before, but the long black robes and the skin as white as snow told me all I needed to know. I was about to meet Lord Voldemort.

I forced my feet to start moving and kept the placid facial expression in place. After Dumbledore, this man was probably the most powerful wizard in the entire wizarding world, and he had requested to speak to me.

"You wanted to see me, my Lord?" I asked, making sure my voice didn't shake the tiniest bit. He had his back towards me, but the skinny hands with the long fingernails prepared me for what was to come.

"Ah, Eleanor Selwyn", he sighed. His voice was different than I had imagined. A little eerie, but also surprisingly calm. "I did indeed."

He turned around and I had to use all my power not to scan his face. I forced myself not to break eye contact. I was one of them now and if I could help my father, help Draco, I would.

"A pity about your father", he said. "Couldn't handle the simple task I had given. But if I deem it worth my time, I might release him."

"If there's anything I can do, My Lord, I'm at your service." Never in my life had I acted so submissively, but there was something about his presence that made you want to look down and bow.

"There is, actually", he said, walking around the large fountain. At the top of the fountain was a stone bird, a peacock. I suppressed a smile, thinking about how Draco's patronus changed the legacy. And then I thought about how he would never be able to produce one again and the smile was gone.

I followed Lord Voldemort, not quite sure what to do.

"I have heard that you and Draco Malfoy don't exactly see eye to eye, is that correct?" he asked. Why did my relationship, or well, the lack thereof as none of them knew about the recent developments, seem to interest everyone?

"That is correct, my Lord."

"And why is that?" I knew I couldn't take a moment to hesitate. Draco was right, they could not know that I cared for him. If he failed whichever task was given to him, the Dark Lord would punish him and the first way to do that would be by taking my life, knowing that that would break Draco. They couldn't know.

So I spoke without hesitation: "Because I think he's arrogant and self-centered. He thinks he's better than all other pure-bloods, but he hasn't achieved a single thing in his life. He's lazy, a coward and simply pathetic."

I knew that if Draco would hear this, he would be so hurt. They were not complete lies as Draco definitely was arrogant and self-centered, but it made him seem like a bad person, which he wasn't. He had flaws for sure, but there were so many good things about him too that seemed to cancel out these few negatives. And he was no coward. That word hurt the most to speak. He was courageous, comforting me about my father when he went through the same situation, punching a seventh-year in the face for hurting me and becoming a Death Eater, just to help his family, even though he didn't want to be one.

He was a dragon.

"I must agree, little girl", Lord Voldemort said, walking towards the back of the garden now. "That's why I have given him the task. He won't succeed, I'm sure of it."

"I'm not aware of any task, my Lord", I said. Another lie. But why had he given Draco a task if he predicted that he would fail? What would happen if Draco failed?

"I'm not quite sure if I can trust you with that information, Eleanor Selwyn."

"I understand your doubts, my Lord. If there's anything I can do to prove my loyalty, please enlighten me."

He looked at me for a little while and I felt like his eyes - they seemed to be glowing - looked right through me.

"You're a well-spoken girl. How old are you?"

"I turn sixteen in two weeks, my Lord."

It was quiet again. There was a little bird chirping in a nearby tree, singing songs of the summer. I didn't dare to catch a glimpse of its beauty. Every move was vital.

"I feel like you'd be a good addition to our cause, one day." My shoulders relaxed a little bit at those last words: one day. He wasn't planning on turning me into ... one of them.

"But there is something you can still do for me. Can I ask you, young Selwyn, about your opinion of Hogwarts's current headmaster?"

Albus Dumbledore? What was my opinion on him? That didn't matter. The real question was, what did Lord Voldemort want me to say about him?

"I think he's a foolish old man. He has lost his glory and does a terrible job leading that ... school", I muttered. I loved Hogwarts, I genuinely did. It was more of a home than Selwyn Keep was. But they couldn't know.

"That's why I gave Draco Malfoy the task to kill him."

I felt my throat run dry and it seemed like all the air was sucked away, making me unable to breath. Draco had to kill Dumbledore?

I noticed that I had to say something, as he was slowly turning around again.

"Although he's an old man, I can see why you doubt Draco's chances. He's still in possession of the Elder wand."

"Yes, that's why other plans have been arranged. However, I need to know when to start setting these other plans up and I don't quite trust Severus yet. He's too fond of the boy. I think you could do me a favour here, Eleanor Selwyn."

"Whatever you want, my Lord."

"I want you to keep an eye on Draco Malfoy, Eleanor. I want you to analyse his every move and most of all, I want you to tell me, when you think he is failing. If there has been no progress by Easter break, I want to know."

"Of course, my Lord. I will not disappoint you. I will return for both Christmas and Easter break. Shall I seek you out when I have information before that time?"

"No, I'll request your presence when you're not at that school. We can't risk anything yet.

I watched as Eleanor walked through the garden, back to the manor. I couldn't help but glance out of my window every couple seconds. She had talked to him, alone. What did he want from her? And how did she respond? They couldn't know, they just couldn't.

But Ellie was a strong girl. She was smart enough to know what was at stake. Her life was for Merlin's sake. I just wanted to know what he wanted from her.

I had to see her. I knew we wouldn't be able to talk, but I needed to at least see her. It had been two weeks since I had left again.

I took a deep breath and walked downstairs. It was around time for tea anyway. I walked into the kitchen, passing aunt Bellatrix and my mother. Bellatrix wasn't the worst. She was completely mad, that's for sure, but her constant babbling did distract me sometimes.

"I'm going to make some tea, would you like some?" I asked the two.

"Yes, Draco, thank you", my mother smiled warmly. She really was the only good thing in my life right now. At least, the only good thing that I could actually be around.

"You're not leaving yet, are you?" Bellatrix said. "Draco's just making tea, have a cup." I knew that it was Ellie who had walked in, but I couldn't seem interested, as much as I just wanted to stare at those features I had missed so much.

"Of course, thank you", she said. I closed my eyes shortly when hearing her voice. It was soft, like a summer breeze in June. It was soothing and for a moment everything seemed to be okay.

But everything wasn't okay and I needed everyone to believe that I hated her. I couldn't put her in danger.

"She can make her own tea", I said and then went to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Eleanor, you know what he's like by now", I heard my mother say. "I'll make one for you."

"No, please, don't worry about it. I can make one myself if that's fine with you", Ellie said.

"Yes, of course, you know your way around." I had never been more grateful for my mother than when hearing those words. She played along with the lie like I had asked, with my best interests in mind. And when her light footsteps echoed closer to where I was standing, the dark curtain over my brain seemed to lift up, just for a little while.

I knew we couldn't talk or make any sound, but just her presence around me relaxed me. The last two weeks hadn't been pleasant. The mark on my arm burned every second of every day and kept me up at night. And if it wasn't the mark keeping the sleep away, the nightmares would fulfill that task.

I just memorised what it felt like to be in the same room as her as I filled the cups, prepared the tea and grabbed the tin of biscuits. I noticed her scent and I noticed the lack of berries again. I analysed her graceful movements from the corner of my eye and the sound of her calm, rhythmic breaths that sounded like a lullaby.

And then the tea was ready and I had to walk away.

And I couldn't help myself. I had to touch her, even just for a second.

So I gently squeezed her hand, very shortly, and she looked up with a hint of a smile on her face. I knew that with that little touch, I'd be able to go on for a while longer.

And then I forced myself to walk away.