She is untamed. She is the wild. She will come to you like a storm and wash you of your fears. And then when she leaves, you will wonder how you ever hated the rain.

- Ariana Dancu

"Eleanor, come here for a second", my mother called for me. I walked into the kitchen sleepily, not yet ready for the day.

"Draco arrived last night", she said. "Narcissa will be here in the afternoon."

"Oh, okay", I said, needing to keep the act up as she didn't know about our late night adventure. "Anything you need me to do?"

"Not particularly."

It was almost noon, but since we stayed up until five in the morning, my late start of the morning was justified.

"Is it true, what Narcissa said?" my mother asked as I was about to leave again. "Are you and Draco an item?"

Were we? I wasn't quite sure. We had never really made any of it official, so I think we were still in the figuring-out-what-this-is phase, but it did feel like we were ... together. It didn't matter anyway. In a couple of days it would all be over again.

"Something like that", I sighed, not wanting to get too deep into it. I didn't want to think about it. I preferred living in the moment recently, as the future wasn't particularly bright.

"It's good", my mother said. "You know what's going to happen to him, do you?"

I nodded. There was no use in denying it. I had expected it during the time that he was gone, but it had never really settled until he told me yesterday. Draco was going to become a Death Eater.

"Maybe the Dark Lord will make you one too when he finds out. That'd be good, you could help your father, he needs our help."

"When he finds out?" I asked. "I don't want it out, mother. I don't want to be one of them."

"Excuse me?" she huffed. "Being among them is a great honour. There are very few chosen to be so close to the Dark Lord. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"I'm not even sixteen, mother! How can you expect that from me?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She wanted me to become one of them, to put my life on the line.

"Draco is two months older, what is the difference?" There was no difference, that was the problem. Why did they want a sixteen-year-old to join them? It wasn't right. He was too young to be doing such things. "Your father would be so disappointed in you, Eleanor. Such words are a disgrace to your ancestors."

I turned my head away. I hated her. I positively hated her. She didn't care about my well being or how I felt. All she cared about was climbing up in the ranks. And I was a disappointment.

"I'm just not strong enough", I said softly. "I can't do what they do."

"Clearly", she said, walking away. "Then you better stay away from Draco, because you will only drag him down."

I brushed off the comments. I could have expected this. I had changed over the past year and not in the way they wanted me to. I didn't mind the change, but I knew that it was dangerous in the current climate. It could get me killed.

I needed to portray the Selwyn beliefs, even if I disagreed with some. I needed show support to the Dark Lord, even though he frightened me. I could fake that, I had been trained for it my whole life, but a dark mark didn't lie.

I couldn't ever become a Death Eater, because the skin repels the Dark Mark if the owner doesn't fully support the ideas. I could change the way others thought about me, but I couldn't change my own thoughts. I had to keep up the act and that meant steering clear from the mark as long as I could.

I needed to stay away from Draco for a while, even though I wanted nothing more than to have him close to me at all times.

"I'm sorry", I heard. I turned around to see Draco in the entrance of the kitchen, a pained look on his face. "Your mother is a terrible woman."

I smiled sadly. She really was, I couldn't even deny it. He walked over and pulled me into a hug. She hadn't lied, though. I was a disappointment to the Selwyn family. They portrayed beliefs I couldn't find myself in. But I'd try my best to fit the mold. It was what needed to be done.

"I know what you're thinking, Eleanor, but she's wrong. You are a Selwyn and a proud one. You demand respect and you know that you are powerful. Just because you doubt the extreme beliefs that are suddenly so important, doesn't mean you don't belong."

I looked up and forced out a smile. Maybe I did belong, but I just didn't know it yet. Hogwarts had formed the way I thought. There was good and bad and we were supposedly bad. But how bad was it really? I didn't know much about this side I was on and if the future was headed where I thought it was going, I needed to have an open mind.

I knew that as long as Draco was a part of it, it'd be okay.

"We're on the winning side and that's all that matters. The others just don't know it yet", he said. I nodded. This was the way it was going to be and I had to adapt.

"How about we practice that patronus of yours", I asked, placing a small kiss on his lips."

"Let's do it."

We walked around the garden for a bit, finding a secluded spot in the far back. Selwyn Keep was quite gigantic, but the ground it was located on stretched on and on, most of it nicely decorated with tall hedges, bushes of flowers and old fountains and statues here and there.

"Don't you ever get lost here?" Draco asked as I guided him through the rows and rows of hedges. It was almost maze-like.

"I used to, actually, so my father taught me the wandless Periculum charm at a very young age. First spell I ever learned." Draco chuckled at the image of 8-year-old me sending up red sparks because I got lost in my own garden.

"Why did you bring the book?" he frowned at the patronus book in my arms.

"To look up your patronus when you cast it", I smiled smugly.

"We both know there's no need for that", he sighed. He truly believed that his patronus would be a white peacock, but I didn't. He was much more than that. And above all I hoped it wasn't, because I knew that would really hurt him.

"So, are you ready?" I asked as we had reached a nice spot.

"As ready as I'll ever be", he said.

"Okay, watch me. Relax yourself completely, especially your wand hand, close your eyes and think of a very happy memory", I said, following my own advice.

"Expecto patronum." Blue swirls danced out of the tip of my wand and soon, my black swan appeared, taking flight. I let it dance around for a while until I lowered my wand.

"Who taught you how to do that anyway?" Draco asked, looking at the last flashes of blue that slowly faded away.

"I did. I found that book with all the meanings in it in our library and I was so fascinated by it that I had to learn it. Took me a couple of months, but during summer I didn't really have much else to do. Daphne and Tracey came to visit a few times, but for the rest of the time it was just me. It's not too hard once you get the hang of it. You just need to find the right memory."

"What memory do you use?" Draco asked, stepping closer.

"I used to use the memory of Daphne's tenth birthday. We had a tea party in her garden and we dressed up all fancy and the elves made us little pastries. When my mother came to fetch me, she told me I'm proud of you Eleanor, you'll grow up to be a perfect Selwyn woman."

I looked down sadly, remembering the contrasting words of just a little while ago. Your father would be disappointed in you, Eleanor, a disgrace to our ancestors. My happiest memory was simply one where my mother told me she was proud of me, that I belonged.

"Used to?" Draco asked, lifting up my chin with his index finger so I had to look at him.

"Hmm?"

"You said that you used to use that memory. Not anymore?"

"No", I smiled. "I use a better one now."

"And which one is that?"

"It's when you taught me how to play quidditch. I think that was about the happiest moment in my life."

Draco stared at me intensely, his one hand wrapped around my waist whilst the other traveled from my chin to my cheekbone.

"Really? Your happiest moment was one with me?" he asked, a frown on his face.

"Why does that surprise you so much?" I never thought I'd say it, but the past month I really had been happier than before and I knew that was because of him. Not always because he did things to make me happy, but just because he was around and I knew that he cared for me too. There was no better feeling than liking someone who liked you back.

"I haven't exactly got the best track record when it comes to your happiness", he chuckled.

"You're heading in the right direction", I winked. I gave him a quick kiss before stepping away, giving him room to perform the spell.

"Come on, find yourself a memory. It's your turn." I crossed my arms and watched as he got out his wand. His was quite similar to mine, actually, both black, but his was clean and simple, whilst mine had a more intricate design.

He closed his eyes and took his stance, but he was way too tense. His knuckles coloured slightly white.

"Relax, Draco", I said before he could say the incantation. It was not going to work like this. I knew why he was so tense. He wanted it badly. He wanted to produce a patronus, just as a reminder that he wasn't completely like them, that his soul wasn't black.

"Right", he mumbled, relaxing slightly, but not nearly enough. I walked up to him and put my hands on his shoulders, gently massaging them.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you to relax", I chuckled, I ducked underneath his stretched arm so I was in front of him now. "It's not going to work if you're not relaxed. Is it still the same memory?"

He looked at me skeptically for a while, trying to figure out if he should admit it or not.

"Yes", he said eventually, narrowing his eyes because he knew I liked hearing that. Just knowing that I had given him a happy memory made my insides feel all fuzzy.

"Good, then close your eyes", I said, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his chest.

"It was really warm that day, do you remember? But there was a bit of wind, so that was nice. It smelled like grass and flowers and a slight scent from the lake, too."

"I remember", Draco mumbled. I looked up to see a smile on his face, a genuine one, his eyes still closed.

"We just laid there for a bit", I continued. "You tried braiding my hair which you terribly failed at." He chuckled at the memory.

"You remember? Then just cast the spell, I know you can do it."

"Expecto patronum", Draco said without hesitation, performing the wand movement quite perfectly. I wondered how many times he had practiced this, without success.

But it was no longer unsuccessful. Slowly but surely, blue swirls danced from his wand, gently swaying in the summer breeze.

"I'm actually doing it", he whispered, staring at the swirls in awe.

"Put a bit more power into it and you can perform a full-body one", I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

"I think I'm fine with this. As long as there's no proof of my patronus, I can't be disappointed with a bloody peacock", he said.

"Oh come on, I'm positive that it is not a peacock. It might have been a year ago, but I don't believe that it is now", I said, crossing my arms.

"Your patronus can change?" he frowned.

"Of course they can. A patronus represents who you are as a person and people change."

He looked at his wand, still stretched out even though the spell had faded already.

"I'll be in a really sour mood if it is, so this is all on you, okay?" he chuckled.

"I just taught you how to perform the patronus charm!" I complained. Draco just shrugged, focusing on the spell again. He readjusted his stance and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. I knew he didn't need my help anymore, though. He could do it.

"Expecto patronum", he said and surely, blue swirls appeared again.

"Focus on your wand", I said softly. "Feel it, control it and strengthen it." Draco bit his lip unknowingly, which was really bloody attractive and turned his wrist slightly. The swirls started to take shape and I didn't dare to breathe whilst it did, afraid that I could somehow mess it up. Draco opened his eyes, still focused on the magic happening in front of him.

And swirls became shapes and shapes became a patronus, and it sure as hell wasn't a peacock.

"Oh Merlin", I whispered as I saw his patronus. It wasn't a black stallion either, as I had predicted. A black stallion seemed ridiculous next to his actual patronus, so small, so meaningless.

"It's a dragon", I said out of breath, staring at the animal that spread its wings, taking flight. Draco smiled, and then he laughed. I couldn't remember ever seeing Draco laugh, but his eyes sparkled and he looked happier than I had ever seen him before.

He looked at me, breaking the spell, but not caring in the slightest.

"It's no peacock", he said, the smile still on his face.

"That sure as hell isn't a peacock", I laughed, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tightly. His happiness was my happiness and I was completely fine with that.

"What does it mean?" he asked, nudging at the book that laid in the grass. I already knew what it meant as I knew most patronus meanings by heart, but I wanted him to read it, to believe it.

I grabbed the book and found the right page.

"Read it", I said as I handed him the book. He took a deep breath and read the lines.

"Dragons are ambitious and dominant. With the ability to breathe fire, they quickly assert themselves, garnering both fear and respect from those around them. They are unafraid to take risks and prefer to live by their own set of rules. They are quick to lead and do not back down from a challenge. Dragons are strong in their convictions and will stand for what they believe is right."

"That sounds an awful lot like you, Draco Malfoy", I grinned. He pulled me close by my waist, reading the text over and over again.

"Bloody peacocks", he chuckled, shutting the book at last. He pressed a soft kiss on my head, rubbing gentle circles on my waist with his thumb.

"Eleanor?" he asked after a while.

"What?"

"I know the timing isn't ideal, but when things are better and a bit more normal, I want you to be my girlfriend."

I looked up at him surprised. I had not expected that.

"If that's something you would want, of course", he added, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"I'd like that", I smiled, pulling him into a kiss. I'd really like that.