How beautiful it feels when they want to know all about the worlds you hold inside of you.

- butterflies rising

"Eleanor, put these in the guest bedroom for Draco please, the elf has washed them", my mother said, handing me a stack of sheets and other bedding.

"Are we sure they're coming back? We haven't heard from them in over a week, mother", I said. I hadn't heard from Draco since he left with his mother and it made me feel anxious. What if something had happened to him? Why did he need Draco?

"If they do, they need a bed to sleep in, Eleanor, now go", she said, pushing me towards the stairs. I sighed, slumping up the large staircase made of old stone.

I didn't quite know what to feel. I just felt worried all the time and we were just a good week into July. Was this how the rest of the summer was going to be?

I opened the door to the guest bedroom. It was a bedroom next to mine, which I usually used for extra storage, but my mother had made the elf clear it out. If he ever came back, at least he was close.

It was eerily empty at Selwyn Keep. I hadn't noticed it before due to the presence of Narcissa and Draco, but my father's absence was notable, making everything feel just a little more lonely.

I made the bed, trying to make it look a little bit more like home. I looked for some candles and put some books on his nightstand. I didn't have any on Alchemy, but I found one about quidditch and one about dueling, which I knew he enjoyed too. I put an extra blanket on his bed and then stood there for a while, not sure what to do.

"Eleanor, your O.W.L. scores arrived!" My mother shouted. My eyes turned wide and in a couple seconds, I was back downstairs, grasping the letter from her hands.

"How often do I have to say this, stop running!" she hissed, before heading to the kitchen.

I tried to stop my hands from shaking as I carefully opened the envelope. There was a simple piece of parchment inside, all my courses listed beneath each other, the scores behind them. Nine O's and three E's, this was good. This was really good.

I looked up and smiled brightly. It's what I wanted, what I had worked for.

And I had no one to celebrate it with.

I put the letter on the dresser and dropped the smile.

I spent the rest of the day reading in the library, which was usually how I spent my days. It was not very exciting, but I preferred the day over the night every time.

I had a lot of trouble sleeping lately and I knew it was because of the anxiety that I had redeveloped this past year. So I spent most of the night on my balcony in a blanket, looking at the starry night. I had learned almost all constellations by heart in the past week. I had nothing else to do anyway. I just sat there for a couple hours, until I was so tired that I knew I would fall asleep before starting to overthink.

And that night, that's exactly where I was, trying to spot the constellation of my star sign, Leo. There was a constellation called Draco. It couldn't be seen from where we lived, but it was out there somewhere, bright and proud.

I just hoped Draco Malfoy was out there somewhere too.

I had written to Tracey and Daphne today, but I didn't quite know what to say. The newspapers had been filled with dark events all week. Ollivander's had been destroyed, the Head of Magical Law Enforcement had been murdered, the Brockdale Bridge was destroyed, killing dozens of Muggles and Cornelius Fudge stepped down as Minister of Magic.

I knew who was responsible for all this, everyone knew it. The side my family supported was responsible for this.

I stared out of the window of my old bedroom. This was my house, but it didn't feel like a home anymore. I hadn't felt comfortable for a single moment since I arrived.

"So, where will you be staying for the remainder of the summer?" Aunt Bellatrix asked as she let herself into my room.

"Not sure, here for quite a while I suppose", I said, avoiding eye contact. I hadn't seen Eleanor all week, but I knew it wasn't safe to owl her. These people couldn't know about my feelings for her or she would be used against me. My father's life was already over my head, I didn't want hers to be added to that.

"Are you still not dating the Selwyn girl?" Bellatrix asked and for a moment I was scared that she had somehow read my mind. She picked up a box from my desk, frowned at it and put it back.

"No, I still dislike her", I lied, making it sound as genuine as possible.

"It's a pity. She'd make a good addition. I like her, she's feisty." That's exactly what I didn't want. Eleanor didn't want anything to do with all this.

"I wonder what the Dark Lord will think of her."

"He's going to Selwyn Keep?" I asked, trying not to sound too panicky.

"Of course not, but I suspect him to want to meet her sooner or later. The Selwyn family has always been a strong ally, I can only imagine he wants to keep it that way, even with her father in Azkaban."

I clenched my jaw. I had to see her. I had to tell her that these people couldn't know. We needed to hate each other when they were around. She could not be dragged into this mess, I wouldn't let that happen.

"I need to fetch some stuff I left there. I'll get that sorted tonight. Might stay for a few days to help Mrs Selwyn for a bit. She's been a little off with her husband's absence", I lied. I just needed to see Eleanor.

"Whatever, just make sure you're here when it's set to happen", she shrugged and then finally left the room. I had a couple days left, a couple days to see Eleanor.

"I saw your O.W.L. results, impressive", I heard. I looked up confused, not sure who was in my room at three in the morning, but too tired to grab my wand.

But all tiredness seemed to disappear when I saw who the guest was. Draco Malfoy.

"You're here", I exclaimed, standing up and throwing myself in his arms. "I thought you weren't coming back", I whispered. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me in tightly.

"Of course I'd come back", he said, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"What did he want? Why did you stay away so long? Are you okay?" I kept coming up with questions I wanted to ask him, but he shut me up by placing his lips on mine. There were certain things I just couldn't resist and Draco's lips were one of them.

"I'll tell you about it in the morning, you should get some sleep now", he whispered, pushing my hair out of my face.

"Don't go", I said. I just got him back, I just wanted him to stay close to me for a while longer.

"Your mother is going to murder me if she finds me here, Ellie. I can't stay." As much as my mother liked Draco, she would definitely not allow him to stay in my room, as I hadn't even turned sixteen yet.

"Come on", I said and grabbed his hand, pulling him with me. I grabbed a large blanket on the way out and then led him downstairs, through the back door, to the garden.

"What are you planning, Ellie?" Draco whispered, looking up cautiously at the open windows of the castle.

"My mother's room is on the other side, don't worry", I said. I dragged him to the back of the garden, where the tall rose bushes protected us from the wind. It was surprisingly warm out for it to be three in the morning.

I sat down in the grass and after a little more complaining, Draco sat down too. I wrapped the blanket around the two of us and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt his eyes burn on me, but eventually he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Oh, how were your O.W.L. results by the way?" I asked.

"Six O's and four E's, not too shabby", he shrugged.

"Not too shabby? That's really great, Draco!" I grinned.

"I feel like I should thank you. If you weren't around to compete against, I probably wouldn't be bothered to get these grades", he chuckled.

"I suppose you're right." I admired the roses that gave the garden a bit of character. Most of them were in bloom, their white colour reflected by the moonlight.

"If I were to become a flower, I hope to be a rose", I whispered, pulling the blanket a little closer. "They bloom almost all year and they're so pretty."

"You're no rose, Ellie", Draco chuckled, tracing patterns in the grass with his fingers.

"Hey, that's rude", I pouted, nudging his side.

"It's not rude, because roses are ordinary", he said. "You can find them everywhere. People buy them because they're pretty and then they die after a couple days."

"Then what flower do you reckon suits me better?" I asked, looking up into his silver eyes. He was so handsome, his skin almost translucent in the moonlight, a smile tugging on his rosy lips.

"You're a wild flower, Ellie", he said and looked down, meeting my gaze. "Hard to find and impossible to forget."

He leaned in slowly, capturing my lips in his. His soft fingers gently touched my cheek, pulling me closer. And all the drama and pain of the previous year just seemed worth it.

It was weird. If you would ask me what the best thing in my life was, the answer would be Draco Malfoy. If you would ask me what the worst thing in my life was, the answer would probably also be Draco Malfoy. It was a never ending conundrum, but that was also the reason why I knew that he was something special.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news too, though", he whispered after a while, his smile faltering.

"What's that?"

"I have to leave again", he said slowly. "And I don't think I'm coming back this summer."

"What? Why?" I panicked slightly.

"Not now, I still have a couple of days. But, he has some plans for me and I have to be at Malfoy Manor because of that."

He was holding something back, something important and I wanted to know what.

"Talk to me, Draco, what is going on?" I asked.

I saw the urgent look in her eyes, she was not going to let it go until I told her something. She'd find out eventually anyway, I just hoped she wouldn't hate me because of it.

"You can't tell anyone about this, okay?" I whispered, grabbing her hand and interlacing our fingers, afraid that she'd slip away.

"You know I won't", she said softly. I took a deep breath. I hadn't said it out loud yet, because it scared me. As long as I didn't say it, it wasn't real, I thought. But it definitely was.

"He's going to turn me into one of them", I said, not able to look her in the eyes. I didn't want to see the disappointment, the fear.

"Why?" she said, her voice a mere whisper.

"He needs me for something. If I succeed, he'll get my father and all the others out of Azkaban. If not ... I don't have a choice." I looked down at our interlaced hands. I knew that deep down she didn't agree with the ways of our side, but what would I do without her? Could I do this all alone?

"I'm sorry", was all she said. She let go of my hand, but only to wrap her both arms around my waist, resting her head on my chest. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't be, I'll be fine", I smiled, gently stroking her hair. Everything just felt so right around her.

"What's the task he's given you?" she asked. I swallowed, thinking about his words just a couple of days ago. It's simple, Draco, he trusts you, the old fool. Kill him and you'll be rewarded. Kill Albus Dumbledore.

"I can't tell you that. I don't want you to get involved in this, Ellie. The more you stay out of this, the better", I mumbled. She shrugged. She usually didn't give up that easily, but she understood. I just had to tell her, I had to tell her that it couldn't be like this for awhile.

"Ellie, if they know that I care about you, they have something else to hold over my head and I don't want to risk that", I said, trying to keep my voice from breaking. I needed to be just as strong as she was.

"What are you saying?" she asked, a frown on her face and I felt her grip around my body loosen.

"This is not permanent, but for a little while, I need you to go back to hating me again. Bellatrix already has an interest in you. I don't want to give her a reason to get you involved too. We both know that you don't want that."

"For a little while?" she scoffed. "What do you think is going to happen after a little while, Draco? This is the reality, not some summer activity. It's going to be like this for probably a very long time." She was the one avoiding eye contact now, her jaw clenched and her eyebrows knitted together.

"Just until I'm done with what I need to do. He gave me the next school year, so it's just a couple of months."

She had completely let go now and although it wasn't cold, my skin longed for her warmth already.

"I can't do that, Draco", she said and her frown turned sad, which I hated. I hated seeing her sad, especially if I was the cause. "I tried it before and it never worked out anyway. I'm not doing that again." It'd be hard, but I had to. I didn't have another choice.

"Look at me", I said, trying to turn her to me again, but she refused. "Ellie, come on, just look at me", I tried again. Eventually she did turn her head and for a moment, I was lost in her hazel eyes again.

"I'm surprised I'm not yet used to this", she said, shaking her head. "It lasted a full month this time, I'm sure we set a new record." She stood up, but I couldn't have her be angry at me. I needed her to understand, I needed her.

"Come on, Ellie, don't do that", I said, walking after her, grabbing her hand to keep her from walking away from me.

"Do what? Have hope? Hope that maybe, just maybe it could work out this time?" She looked pained and it made me feel terrible. I didn't want her to feel like this, I wanted her to be happy.

"You know it's not like that, Ellie", I said, tilting her head so she had to look at me. "I'm not doing this because I don't like you, you know well enough that I do. We just have to be strong for a while. I just can't have your life depending on whether I succeed or not. We both know that'll be the case if they find out about it and I can't have that. I need you alive, Ellie."

"I'm not all that strong", she whispered, looking down again. She underestimated herself greatly. She was probably the strongest person I had ever met.

"Maybe when we're back at Hogwarts, things will be different, that's just one and a half months", I said softly. "You can do that, Ellie, I know you can. You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for."

She took a couple of deep breaths and I knew that she was coming around. She knew that this was all for the best, even though it didn't feel like it. Was I looking forward to letting her go, right after I had finally gotten her to be mine? No, but if it meant that she was safe, I was fine with that.

"When are you leaving?" she asked, stepping closer again.

"Not for a couple more days."

"And until then?"

"Until then I'm all yours." She smiled sadly and then slowly kissed me. I'd never get enough of that feeling. I wished that I hadn't kissed Daphne that day. It should be just her, only her.

"You and your mother will probably be asked to visit the manor too. You have to pretend to loathe me, okay? Can you do that?"

"Of course I can", she smirked. "I've had a lot of practice over the years." I chuckled. It seemed so far away, the days where we absolutely hated each other, and it had only been a couple months.

"Look, the sun is rising", she said. I followed her gaze to be met by orange skies, announcing dawn. It was quite stunning. I put my arms around her from behind her and gave her a kiss on her head. A couple more days of bliss before hell.

"Ellie?" I whispered, keeping my eyes trained on the sunrise.

"Yeah?"

"Can you teach me the patronus charm? I- I'd like to be able to do it, before I can't anymore." I didn't like to admit it, but I had always wanted to be able to cast that spell, I just never had memories that were happy enough. But now I had her and when I was with her, I was truly happy. I knew I could do it, I was just scared. Scared to see the white peacock. But I needed to do it, I needed some proof that I wasn't one of them yet.

"Of course. But let's get some rest first. It's five in the morning", she chuckled.

"Thank you", I smiled, softly kissing her again. Thank you for everything.