Two things define you. Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.

- Imam Ali

I couldn't get her out of my damn head and it was infuriating! Why the hell had she done that? Why had she kissed me? And why the bloody hell did I kiss her back?

I had felt it before and it was dangerous. When I saw her at the Ministry's Ball, I had thought that she looked beautiful. And I had kissed her. I denied it and I would continue doing so, but I knew that it was true. I had kissed her.

I liked who she was that night. I liked that she related to what I was going through and I liked how excitedly she announced that she wanted to be a curse-breaker. I liked that I had noticed that she was so much more than her last name.

But then that feeling was gone. I hadn't thought about her in that way until yesterday. Or had I?

I had beat up Adrian Pucey for placing that bet, I had talked her out of her starting depression because I hated seeing her so ... different, so much like me.

She was nothing like me, which is why this was bullshit. I didn't like her like that! My brains were playing tricks with me. She was Eleanor Selwyn for Merlin's sake, annoyingly flawless, stuck-up, arrogant, snobby Eleanor Selwyn. She talked back to me and she dared to insult me. That was not a person I could be into.

I wasn't into anyone anyway! This was bloody Hogwarts and I'd be damned if I'd be one of those fools who start a bloody high school romance. Never in a million years and definitely not with Eleanor Selwyn.

And she hated me! She positively hated me, I knew she did. She never looked at me the way Daphne did. Maybe she was friendly sometimes out of necessity, but she'd never like me as a person. So why the hell did she kiss me?

And why did I kiss her back?

The night passed by painfully slowly and I didn't sleep for a single second. My mind was completely messed up and it was all her fault. Who did she think she was? I hated her. I hated her for doing what she did and for messing with things she wasn't allowed to mess with.

I was Draco Malfoy. I shouldn't be thinking about a girl so much. It was ridiculous. I was losing myself. I was Draco Malfoy. No one throws me off like that.

Friday was a filled day, luckily, meaning I could easily distract myself. First Ancient Runes, then Divination and then Care for Magical Creatures, and I wasn't seated next to Draco Malfoy for any of them, which was delightful.

"Lea, you're all quiet again. You're okay, right?" Tracey asked at breakfast.

"What? Oh yes, I'm fine", I said, trying to wake up fully. I hadn't slept much and I was noticing the repercussions.

"Ancient Runes is going to be an absolute drag", Tracey sighed. "If I have to translate one more text from Tales of Beedle the Bard I'm going to unleash all my fury on Professor Babbling.

I didn't mind Ancient Runes as much. It acquired maximum focus and I left every class with a massive headache, but I liked it, it was puzzle work. And the maximum focus was welcome too in my current situation.

Dolores Umbrige walked through the Great Hall, followed by Cho Chang. She had been talking to many students because she suspected some kind of student group involving - no surprise - Harry Potter and was interrogating students about it. Of course all Slytherins were spared, but the other houses had less luck.

I couldn't care less about their little extracurricular activity, but all members of the Inquisitorial Squad seemed highly excited. Of course Pansy bloody Parkinson had joined. She couldn't win over Adrian, so she'd gone back to Draco Malfoy. It surprised me that Daphne hadn't joined the ensemble yet.

"Come on, let's get a move on", I said and grabbed my bag, ready to focus on some ancient runes.

But focusing was a little more difficult than I thought.

I smelled it, I smelled him. When he'd walk by and when he took the seat behind me. I smelled his cologne and the slight hint of toothpaste and apples. I never noticed it before in class. These mind games were driving me absolutely mad.

"I think I'm going to ask him out to Hogsmeade", Daphne whispered, distracting me from the alluring scent.

"What?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Draco, I'm going to ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me. I've been waiting around all year and I'm done doing so. I know he likes me at least a little bit, but he doesn't act on it, so I'm going to. The next Hogsmeade trip isn't for a couple of weeks, but I'm feeling confident."

"No, you shouldn't", I said. Draco wasn't into her, she was just setting herself up for heartbreak.

"What? Why not?" I couldn't explain to her why I knew that. I couldn't.

"He's just not good for you, Daphne", I sighed. "You can do so much better than him."

Daphne didn't respond. I knew that I couldn't convince her, so why was I even trying? I just didn't want her to get hurt.

"I'm sorry, you're right. Be an independent woman and ask him out." I guess I'd just have to make sure I was there to support her when she got rejected.

"Exactly. I'll ask him after today's classes", she grinned. Oh how bad I felt for her.

The day went by excruciatingly slowly. Divination was a drag as usual and Care for Magical Creatures was surprisingly boring as well. Usually we'd do some more hands-on work, but since we were studying Chimaera's, it was purely theoretical.

"I need a nap before supper", Tracey grunted as we walked back to the castle. It was the second of April, but the sun still refused to properly unleash spring.

"Me too", I sighed, longing for the comfort of my pillows.

"Daphne, it's your turn to agree", Tracey joked, linking her arms in ours.

"I can't, I've got other plans", she grinned. I had almost forgotten about her idea. She seemed so incredibly confident about it.

"And what's that?" Tracey asked.

"I'm going to ask Malfoy to join me to Hogsmeade next month, as a date."

"Oh, yes darling, go for it!" Tracey said, a lot more excited than I had been. Just why was she into Malfoy?

"So, I'll see you guys in our dorm. Wish me luck", Daphne beamed.

"Good luck!" I said, trying to sound as genuine as possible. She was going to be so heartbroken over this.

I walked to our dorm with Tracey and my mind just couldn't stop overthinking the situation. Daphne had brought it up again and now it was here to stay. There was no use in pushing it all away again, so I just laid down on my bed and let all the thoughts pass, analysing them one by one.

And it seemed to work. Because after about half an hour, I had found an explanation. What I had felt for Malfoy yesterday was pure physical attraction. I couldn't deny that he was handsome, and that's what had caused the reaction. He was still an arse, so I couldn't be emotionally attracted to him. It was just something physical, something I could get over very quickly.

Knowing that made me relax. It made things much less complicated. I didn't need to act on physical attraction, it was no big deal. I was physically attracted to Adrian Pucey too, but that rat had to stay as far away from me as possible.

Everything was going to be just fine.

And then Daphne stormed into the room and the largest smile in human existence was plastered on her face.

I had expected her to be bawling or angry at least, but I hadn't expected her to be happy.

"HE SAID YES!" She shouted as soon as she had closed the door. "Draco and I are going on a date!"

Tracey was up in an instant, pulling Daphne into a hug and congratulating her. This was good for her, that's what I should have wanted.

But I didn't. Why had Malfoy said yes? He just kissed me back yesterday. Had I imagined it in my head? No, that couldn't be the case and I refused to believe that.

"I'm so happy for you", I said with a forced smile and joined the hug. I thought it'd relieve the pressure that I felt in my chest, but it didn't. Why was he doing this?

"I have to quickly grab a book from the library and then we're going to discuss it in detail, okay?" I said and walked out. I had to be alone with my thoughts for a while.

This was ridiculous. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I had to be happy for Daphne, this was basically her biggest dream. I had just decided that what I felt for Draco was just a physical attraction, so I shouldn't care who he dated. But he shouldn't be messing with her feelings.

Why did I cling onto this idea of him having feelings for me so much anyway? I shouldn't want that. I was not going to let myself get involved with any boy. It would mess with my reputation, my friendship with Daphne and my heart. If he wanted to date Daphne, that was a good thing. It meant that I didn't have to worry about it.

It was just because I was happy to have found one of his weaknesses, that was all. But it had to stop, right now.

I had to stop overanalyzing it. From now on, Draco was not into me and my best friend was taking him on a date. That was all.

I grabbed some random book in the library and made my way back to the common room. I had analysed it and I could put it to rest now. Now I just had to be happy for her. I could do that, she was my best friend. She could just never, ever know that I had kissed him not even 24 hours ago.

"So, I want to know all the details", I grinned as I opened the door to my dorm. And Daphne provided those.