Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.

- Nelson Mandela

Malfoy hadn't talked to me once since that odd moment in the hallway a couple days ago and it was infuriating. Why did he have to be so impossible? I genuinely thought we were getting somewhere here, but then he had to be an absolute arse again.

And why? What in the world had I done now for him to be so rude again? All I knew was that I was not going to let him.

We were sitting in the Astronomy Tower and he was all the way on the other side of the room, but I couldn't help but glare his way every few seconds. I couldn't get it out of my head.

He looked up and his eyes met mine. He stared for a while before a frown appeared on his face and he looked down. I just needed to know what was up with his mood swings.

At the beginning of the school year, he was an absolute arsehole. Then he burned my arm and was tolerable for a full 24 hours, before returning to his usual unpleasant self. Then we had that fight about how I was a disgrace and again, he turned tolerable, for longer this time. Up until the Ministry's Christmas ball ... when he kissed me.

I hadn't thought about that kiss for a long time. I still didn't know what that meant and probably wouldn't find out anytime soon.

After that he turned into an arse again, but then he stood up for me and helped me with Adrian and his stupid bet. But now he was an arse yet again. This boy was infuriating.

And then my mind went back to that kiss. Why had he done that? Just out of nowhere?

What if ...? No, that could absolutely not be the case, but then why did he kiss me during the Ministry Ball? Even though it was impulsive, there had to be at least some foundation to it.

There was only one way to find out.

"Hey, can you pass me the star chart?" Daphne asked, shaking me from my string of thoughts.

"What?" I mumbled, noticing her pointing at the chart in my hand. "Oh yeah, sure."

"You seem out of it. Everything okay?" she asked. We had been partners for the second semester of the year and I didn't mind one bit. She was my best friend.

But I couldn't do that to my best friend. I wanted to test my theory so badly, but I absolutely couldn't do that to her.

"Here you go", I said and smiled, pushing Draco out of my brain and focused on the Astronomy task.

The seed had been planted in my brain and I had to make sure it didn't grow. I had to stop thinking about it, stop watering the soil.

"Oi, Eleanor!" I heard when Daphne, Tracey and I were walking down the staircase of the Astronomy Tower. It was late and I really wanted to go to bed, but as I recognised Benji's voice, those plans could wait.

"Benji, how have you been?" I smiled at him. I hadn't spoken to him in such a long time.

"Nothing much, but I noticed that you looked more like you again, so I thought we could hang out again sometime", he said.

"What do you mean, more like me?" I frowned.

"You know, less Snow Queen. I was a bit scared to talk to you", he joked. "But seems as if you've melted."

Just allow yourself to melt.

I pushed those thoughts away and smiled at him.

"Well, I'm in dire need of sleep right now, but I've got some time tomorrow. In the Courtyard at four?"

"Sure, see you then", he smiled and then our paths crossed, so I caught up to Tracey and Daphne to head to the dungeons.

One of the many advantages to growing up in an all-wizarding family, was the constant supply of magical remedies and cures. And I was so happy that my mother had stuffed a couple vials of Dreamless Sleep Potion in my trunk at the beginning of the year.

My mind was racing at uncountable miles an hour and I could not have that. I had to find something else to occupy my brain with, but right now a Dreamless Sleep Potion would do. I drank one of the vials before bed and smiled peacefully as the liquid pulled me into the dark abyss of sleep.

I kept myself busy the next day by paying extra attention in class and focusing on my meeting with Benjamin later, he could always take my mind off of things.

So when four o'clock rolled around, I was eagerly waiting, scanning over the last seen chapter of Potions to pass the time.

"You're early", Benjamin grinned as he sat down in front of me, putting his bag at his feet.

"Selwyns are always punctual", I said, closing my book and putting it away. "So how have you been?"

"I've been okay, nothing much exciting has been happening", he shrugged. "Got a letter from my sister the other day."

"Oh, how is she doing?" I asked. I didn't know Benji's sister at all, I had only seen her a couple times in the hallways in the past years, but Benji was quite close to her, so I always showed interest when he talked about her. Their father passed away last year, so I imagine that to be a big contributing factor to their relationship.

I never had any siblings, so it was a bit difficult to relate. Daphne did have a younger sister, but they didn't get along very well, so I had never really spoken to her before. Maybe it was better to have no siblings than a possible bad relationship with one.

"She's started an internship as co-coach of the Holyhead Harpies", he beamed.

"Is she still with Wood?"

"Yup, he sent me a new Puddlemere shirt via owl. They changed their team colours from brown to blue and gold, much better", he went on. I always just let him talk when he started about quidditch. It was something he was really passionate about, but something I knew very little of.

"So, how about you?" he asked eventually.

"I'm doing fine, not much exciting news either."

"Can I ask you something?" he asked carefully, lowering his voice.

"You can, but I can't promise I'll answer." He nodded and was quiet for a while, weighing his words carefully. It was one of the reasons why I liked Benjamin. He was more calm than most Gryffindors, more calculated and less impulsive.

"What happened that made you so ... different?" he asked. I wanted to block his question, but I knew Benjamin wouldn't tell anyone about it. It wouldn't surprise me if no one knew he and I were friends, but neither did my friends. I didn't hide it, so Daphne, Tracey and even Malfoy knew, but I didn't advertise it either.

He was just genuinely concerned, being a good friend.

"I will murder you if you tell anyone about this, okay?" I smiled. He looked scared for a split second, knowing that I was semi-serious, and then nodded eagerly.

"You know that I had this thing going on with Adrian Pucey, right?" I said and he nodded again.

"Well, turned out he was just using me to win a bet." I could talk about it calmly now, without feeling much. It was in the past and it had been a good lesson.

"Merlin, Eleanor, that's terrible, I'm sorry."

"It's fine", I shrugged. "It's done now and he sure suffered the consequences."

"Aha, that's why he suddenly turned into a puffer fish in the Great Hall two weeks ago?" he chuckled. "Makes sense now."

"Well that was one of the many repercussions", I grinned. "I even asked the notorious Gryffindor prankers for help, I was that serious."

"The Weasley twins? Epic", he laughed. "Seems like something they would do."

A group of Gryffindors boys from our year walked into the Courtyard, including Finnigan, Potter and the youngest Weasley brother.

"So, any developments regarding that other topic we discussed last time?" I asked, pulling up my legs. I studied the subject that had inspired the question, Seamus Finnigan. He was short and awkward and rather odd-looking, but one look at Benji's eyes told me he had a very different opinion on that.

"No, what kind of developments had you expected?" Benjamin asked, slightly bummed.

"I don't know", I sighed. "Maybe you'd noticed something in his behaviour, indicating that he might reciprocate those feelings?"

"No, not even close. I don't know if he's like that or not, but even if he is, then he hasn't realised it at all. And I don't want to ruin my closest friendship to try and find out."

I wanted to tell him to go for it, but I couldn't do so with confidence. I would do exactly the same if I were in his shoes. Crushes come and go, but friendships, especially those at Hogwarts, are special and important.

"Well if it's meant to be, fate will find a way, I suppose", I said, leaning backward. "But can I at least meet the bloke? I have to know what's so special about him, because you have really odd taste if you're attracted to that", I grinned.

"Oh sod off", he laughed, trying to push me off the bench I was sitting on. "And he's scared of you, remember?"

"Well then let me show him that I'm not all that scary!"

Benjamin sighed. "Okay, but don't you dare try and force something. I don't want that, okay?"

I pressed two fingers against my chest and then held them up. "You have my word." He looked at me suspiciously for a while before turning away from me.

"Oi, Seamus!" he called out. The entire group looked our way, so I straightened my back and put up the standard Selwyn face. "Come here!"

The boy looked very reluctant and slightly skeptical, but eventually he walked over.

"Yes?" he asked, avoiding eye contact with me, which was highly amusing.

"Eleanor wanted to meet you", Benjamin shrugged. Seamus's eyes quickly flashed to me, looking highly alarmed. It was actually quite funny to have people be scared of me.

"Nice to meet you, Finnigan", I said and extended my hand. "I've heard loads about you and your other friends", I smiled, but I kept one eyebrow raised to not seem too kind.

"Hi", he said awkwardly and slowly took his hand. I gave him a firm shake, knowing that would put him off even more. This was amazing.

He stood there for a while, just waiting awkwardly and I decided to let him suffer a bit by not saying anything either. Eventually, he muttered a "See you around", before walking back to his friends, his pace visibly faster than normal.

I had to use the most effort to not burst out laughing as I saw his pale face, completely shaken by just a simple handshake. He was slightly endearing.

"Poor bloke, he's scarred for life", Benji grinned. "I don't think you succeeded at showing that you're not scary." I definitely hadn't.

"I wish I had a last name like yours", he sighed.

"No, you don't want that", I said immediately. It came out too spontaneously. I had to be proud of my last name and I truly was, but it was just so weighty sometimes. It was actually quite sad that people were scared of me just because of the name I carried. At least it made it easier to keep up the facade.

"Well, at least you make me look cooler", Benjamin said, nudging my shoulder, noticing my change in mood. I smiled at him. It was good to have him as a friend. He was a good counterweight. Bubbly, innocent and happy.

Everyone else around me was definitely not innocent.