When You Are Ashes Remember This: they will insult you, hurt you, defeat you, betray you, injure you, set you aflame and watch you burn.

But they will not, shall not, cannot destroy you. Because you, like Rome, were built on ashes, and you, like a phoenix, know how to riseand resurrect.

- Nikita Gill

"I swear to Merlin, Malfoy, if you don't stop messing around I will hex your arse into oblivion", I snapped at him. I had sat down in front of Draco during Charms and he had spent the entirety of Flitwick's lecture levitating locks of my hair. I shot him my nastiest glare, but he just grinned in satisfaction. Ever since I had left the Pucey debacle behind me, he had gone back to annoying me and enjoying it thoroughly.

But not even seconds later, another one of my pieces of hair miraculously started dancing in front of my face.

"Titillando", I whispered, swishing my wand in Draco's direction. The tickling hex was harmless and even less harmful than it's big brother Rictusempra, but I knew that Draco would feel humiliated if anyone caught him giggling in class.

I grinned in satisfaction as I heard him squirm behind me, trying not to make a sound. I turned around casually and grinned at his clenched jaw and slightly red face.

"Everything alright, Malfoy?" I asked innocently, to which he scowled. He grabbed his wand and forced out a counter-curse, causing his muscles to relax again.

"I'll get you back for that, Selwyn", he growled. I shrugged and slumped back down in my chair, but I could feel his glare on the back of my head.

"Since when do you and Malfoy get along?" Tracey whispered suspiciously.

"Get along?" I huffed. "I'd hardly call that getting along." Flitwick was eyeing us suspiciously so I tried focusing on today's lesson again.

Charms was the last class on Monday, which resulted in a few hours of free time before supper. Spring was very slowly starting to break through the freezing winter weather, so we found ourselves in the Courtyard to enjoy the first genuine rays of sunshine.

"So, have you heard who our new Divination teacher is going to be?" Daphne huffed, wrapping her cloak a bit tighter around her.

"No, who?" I frowned. Professor Trelawney got sacked the other day by none other than Dolores Umbridge. I thought the woman was an absolute nutter, but nothing Umbridge did was justified.

"Firenze, one of the centaurs from the Forbidden Forest. Has Dumbledore actually become demented?" I had never been in the Forbidden Forest before, but I had heard and read about the centaurs. Centaurs didn't even like humans, so why hire one as a teacher?

"Well, certainly beats Trelawney's wack predictions all the time", Tracey shrugged.

A group of Slytherins walked by, Adrian among them, so I turned my head.

"Has he still been trying to talk to you?" Tracey asked.

"No, hasn't looked at me since I lashed out at him. As he should", I said. Adrian had followed my advice and stayed far away from me, where he should be.

"How about you? Still strung up on Draco Malfoy?" Tracey turned to Daphne.

"It's no use, he doesn't like me like that", she shrugged. "Spends more time around Lea than around me lately. That means he really is avoiding me."

"That's no true", I said, but I had no proper arguments. "He just likes to get under my skin, that's all."

"But he still prefers that over hanging out with me", she said, resting her head in her hand. Why couldn't she just get over this bloke? He was not that special and had nothing to offer her. It was quiet for a while.

"Lea?" Daphne asked eventually.

"Yeah?"

"If Draco was into you? Would you go out with him?" she asked. Where was this coming from?

"Draco Malfoy into me? In what universe do you see that happening?" I scoffed.

"It's not that unlikely. You two haven't fought in a long time", Tracey joined. "You never know what might happen." I quickly analysed that situation, but it was too weird to think about. Having romantic feelings for Draco Malfoy? Not in a million years. He might have been nice for helping me a while ago, but that didn't excuse his awful behaviour of the past years.

"It's rubbish", I shook my head. "I could never see myself falling for him. Moreover, I'm not dating any bloke in this school anymore. We saw where that got me."

Daphne nodded, fiddling with her fingers again. I really had to find someone for her. Someone who respected her for who she was and someone who she actually had a shot with.

"And even if I did, I would tell you, okay?" I said, taking her hand. She smiled and nodded, squeezing mine slightly.

Would I? Would I tell Daphne if I got romantic feelings for Malfoy for some weird and non-existing reason? I could just imagine the mess that would cause in my head and it was just another reason as to why that could never happen.

Being a prefect was an honor in Slytherin house, but I was getting so tired of these patrols twice a week and I had another two years of this.

"I checked my watch. I still had a couple of minutes to spare."

"You seem to look forward to your patrol", Blaise chuckled, closing his book and putting it to the side. "Thought you'd enjoy it more now you and Selwyn get along."

"Excuse me?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows. Selwyn and I didn't get along at all.

"What? You seem more friendly lately, am I wrong? You knocked out Adrian after he placed that bet. I thought you liked her."

"Liked her?" I huffed. "That's ridiculous. You're talking about Eleanor Selwyn?" What an idiotic remark. I might have been less mean to her recently, but that didn't mean I liked her, far from it actually. She was still Selwyn's daughter, the spawn of the devil my parents couldn't stop talking about.

"Come on, Malfoy. She's a catch", Blaise grinned. "It's about time you realise that." What was this bloke on about?

"I don't have to realise anything", I scoffed. People never used to even suggest the option of me and Selwyn getting along. No one except for our parents at least. It was just always a fact that we loathed each other. When had that changed?

"You literally can't do any better than her. I don't see why you make such a big deal out of it." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why hadn't I realised this before? Did people think I was interested in Selwyn? Not even close. I hated her. I always had and there was no reason for that to change this year. I had just decided that I was going to stop destroying her because it had caused too much drama already. That didn't mean I liked her.

"Why don't you date her then, huh? Since she's so perfect?" I sneered. Now even her friends had decided that Selwyn was "perfect". It was ridiculous.

"I would", Blaise sighed. "But I don't have a death wish. You saw what happened to Pucey", he chuckled. Pucey had kept himself very far in the background lately, recovering from humiliation and threats from his parents. Eleanor had unleashed her fire on him and he got burned severely.

Because I told her to.

This was nonsense. I didn't care about anyone, especially not Selwyn. When had Blaise decided he could ask me about such personal things anyway? I had let my guard down and it was all her fault.

"You're a foul git. Now sod off", I hissed. I was done waiting for Selwyn. I'd do this patrol on my own.

"Malfoy, wait a second", I heard. Of course it was the sound of her voice, like the first warm breeze to introduce spring. I ignored her and walked out.

I had been stupid.

"What's got you so agitated?" she asked when she had caught up with me. She seemed relaxed, comfortable even. When had she become comfortable around me? When had I allowed her to be comfortable around me?

"None of your business."

It was quiet for a while and I knew that she was trying to figure me out. She always did that and I hated it. She had to mind her own business. I had let my guard down around her and it was stupid. I was better than her, I had to be.

"Did something happen?" she continued. "You can tell me." She had to know her place.

"Shut it, Selwyn", I hissed, turning around so she bumped into me. She steadied herself and looked up surprised.

"I never asked you to put your nose into my business, so stay out of it." Her eyebrows knitted together and she seemed genuinely confused. Of course she was, I had let this go on for far too long.

"Okay", she said carefully before stepping away. Just like that? No counter argument? She never used to go easy on me. Why did she now?

"Okay?" This was not good. I needed her to be angry at me, to be irritated and riled up. I didn't need her to sympathize with me.

"Yes, okay, Malfoy. I see that you need some space", she said, holding up her hands. I bit the inside of my cheek hard before turning around and continuing the patrol.

But my mind didn't stop turning. It didn't stop at all. Thoughts ran through it like a bustling shopping street the day before Christmas. It was messy and chaotic and bloody annoying.

"Why are you not angry at me?" I shouted at her. I did not know what to do with these newfound realisations.

"Merlin, Draco calm down." That was it.

"Stop calling me that, why do you call me that?" She clearly did not know what to say.

"I- I'm sorry, I thought that was your name", she sputtered.

"Malfoy is my name. I never told you to use my first name, so don't." She backed up against the wall, clearly uncomfortable in this sudden situation. She was below me, where she belonged.

"I asked you a question, Selwyn", I said quietly, walking up to her with a straight back. She was a lot smaller than me, so I towered over her, which always gave me an advantage to intimidate her, but she usually never let me.

"Why are you not angry at me?" My voice was now a mere whisper because I was so close to her and the hallway was dead quiet. I rested one hand on the wall behind her and lifted up her chin with the other to force her to look at me. This seemed to spark her attention as her eyes narrowed.

"Why should I be?" she questioned.

"I don't know, because you always are", I huffed. It was as simple as that. She was angry at me and I was angry at her. It was the way things were supposed to be.

"You haven't given me a reason to this time", she said and crossed her arms over her chest, which was something she always did when she felt attacked.

"Then make up a bloody reason!" I yelled, stepping away from the wall. "You're not going to tell me you've got a hard time being angry at me now!"

"But why?!" she asked, raising her voice now. There it was, the anger. That's what I needed.

"Because people already think that I suddenly stopped hating you", I scoffed, thinking back to Blaise's argument. She didn't say anything for a while, still shocked by the sudden fight that came out of nowhere. It had been months since that had happened.

And then the anger was gone again, taken away by the cold midnight wind that softly danced through the castle walls.

"And why is that a bad thing?" She said and I wasn't quite sure what to answer. There were plenty of reasons as to why that was a bad thing, but none that I could tell her. It made me look pathetic, as if I had a weakness. It made me look emphatic, as if I cared about people. It made me wonder what she had done to make that happen.

"Because, Eleanor Selwyn", I growled, trapping her between the wall and myself again. "It is not true. It is a downright lie and I've been taught not to tell lies."

And then I smelled it, I smelled her again.

The first time I smelled it was two weeks ago, when I had talked to her about her behaviour after the revelation of the bet. She had hugged me, engulfed me in her scent. She smelled exactly like a cool summer night. She smelled of white roses, but subtly and cool, laced with fresh mint and her hair coated with the scent of sweet berries from her shampoo.

It was intoxicating.

"I do not like you and I'd rather not have people think I do. I don't want to be associated with a joke like yourself."

And then I walked away.