Before she became fire, she was water. Quenching the thirst of every dying creature. She gave and she gave until she turned from sea to desert. But instead of dying in the heat, the sadness, the heartache, she took all of her pain and from her own ashes she became fire.

- Nikita Gill

The relief I felt when the train had finally rolled out of London was indescribable. It was over, thank Merlin.

The rest of the break had been absolutely dreadful. Malfoy had simply ignored me completely and Narcissa tried to pry information out of me. I was not the problem.

Daphne was going on and on about her winter holiday, but I could barely look at her. The boy she had a massive crush on had kissed me.

"So, how were your holidays with the Malfoys?" Tracey asked.

"Dreadful as usual. Narcissa did get me a new watch, which is nice", I said, admiring the silver piece around my wrist. I was in desperate need of a new one after my last one got ... a little melty.

A group of Slytherins passed and I noticed Adrian among them. We had sent a couple letters over the holidays as it was a nice break from Malfoy all the time, but I hadn't seen him at all.

The train ride was excruciatingly long as usual and when we got back, all I wanted to do was sleep. Luckily it was Sunday, so no patrol today. But I was pulled aside before I could make it to the common room.

"Hello darling", Adrian smiled, gently pulling me into an empty corridor.

"Adrian Pucey, you're playing with fire here, interrupting a woman on her way to her bed", I said, causing him to chuckle.

"Have you got a few minutes to spare for me?" he pouted, carefully taking my hands in his. I liked his touch. I liked him.

"Depends on how you're planning to spend that time", I said, gently pulling him closer. I was doing exactly what I promised myself not to do. I was letting myself fall for him. This was a stupid idea.

But when his smiling lips met mine, I forgot all about the doubts in the back of my mind. They were washed away like sandcastles with the tides.

"You have to say," he whispered when he pulled away, "that my perseverance paid off."

"Depends on what your goal is", I said, but I couldn't help the smile from showing.

"Hmm I think I'm going to make you mine, Eleanor", he whispered. "Whatever it takes." The butterflies in my stomach were having a party and I had a hard time keeping it together. I softly kissed him again, very shortly, before pulling away.

"Good luck with that", I whispered before walking away.

And at the other end of the hallway stood Draco Malfoy, a scowl on his face. But he walked on before I could say anything.

I finally reached the common room, where I found Tracey and Daphne on the couches in front of the fireplace.

"They you are, Lea", Tracey chimed. "Where were you? Suddenly you were gone."

"Oh just had to take care of something", I said. I would tell them about Adrian, but not in the common room.

"Or you can just tell the truth, Selwyn. Just tell them you were snogging Pucey", Malfoy said suddenly, appearing behind me.

"Shut your mouth, Malfoy", I hissed, checking if anyone else had heard him

"Oh can't they know that you had your tongue down Adrian's throat", he retorted, stepping closer to intimidate me.

"Watch it, Malfoy. That is not true", I sighed, trying to push him back. He quickly caught my wrist before I could do so.

"I saw it myself."

"Yeah you saw us kiss, so what? No need to make such a big deal out of it." I pulled my wrist from his grip, keeping eye contact.

"You're disgusting", he grunted.

"Oh you're just jealous."

That seemed to catch his attention. He turned back and looked at me intensely, his eyes piercing through mine, his nose scrunching up slightly.

"Jealous of your pathetic arse? Not in a million years", he gritted before storming off.

And then it was quiet for a while.

"Well, happy new years everyone!" Tracey sniggered, bringing me back to reality. "No way to start off the new year like a classic Malfoy Selwyn fight."

"Oh shut it, Tracey", I said, falling on the couch with a sigh.

"You know, I always feel like some day you're going to kiss", she said, causing my eyes to grow to the size of Bludgers. "Like, I know you hate each other and all, but there's just so much tension. One day one of you is just randomly going to kiss the other." Tracey was laughing, but I didn't think it was amusing at all.

There was no tension when Malfoy had kissed me.

"Imagine then realizing you both fancy each other and becoming an item. The school would be on its head if that'd ever happen."

"Well it's never going to happen", I quickly stopped her. "I have no interest in Malfoy and neither does he. Never had and never will, he's just a crappy human", I sighed.

"And now I'm going to bed." It had been a long day and I just wanted sleep.

But again my mind didn't leave me alone that night. There was still too much to think about. Would I ever get an answer to the question that had been bothering me for the last two weeks?

Why did Draco Malfoy kiss me that night?

Why did I kiss Eleanor that night? It was a question that had been soaring through my brain for the past two weeks. Why in the world had I kissed Eleanor Selwyn?

I felt vulnerable. I felt as if she knew something about me that no one else knew and she could tell anyone about it. What would I do if anyone found out?

It was just a spur in the moment thing. She looked pretty that night and we had a good conversation. That had never happened before and it took me by surprise, that's all. I hoped she didn't think I had feelings for her. Never.

But she couldn't think that, right? If she did she wouldn't be sucking off Adrian's face already. She wasn't like that. She actually cared about other people's feelings.

I'm such a blithering idiot.

But she wouldn't tell anyone about it, right? She was with that Adrian Pucey now, so she wouldn't want to screw that up. And Daphne certainly wouldn't be pleased if she found out. Maybe that was the solution. The closer I got to Daphne, the guiltier she would feel and the less likely she'd spill.

"Draco, what's the matter with you?" Blaise asked, waving in front of my face. I looked up and pushed away these annoying thoughts. "Ready to go back to the common room?"

I had barely touched my supper, but I wasn't hungry anyway. I had to patrol in a bit and I was not looking forward to it. Before the break Eleanor had decided to patrol together again instead of separately and that was no good.

"Draco Malfoy?" I heard, so I turned around confused. A first-year girl was looking at me, back straight and confident.

"I'm Scarlett Lympsham", she continued. "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure", I mumbled, surprised at the decency of this girl. She was surprisingly polite for a twelve-year old. "But only because you asked."

"Thank you", the girl beamed. "Eleanor Selwyn taught me on my first day to always ask permission before talking to an upperclassman."

I blinked a couple times. Of course Eleanor had done that. I could just hear her voice in my head, disciplining the girl.

"Good", I mumbled. "What's the problem?"

"A Gryffindor boy damaged my Potions book. I thought you might be able to help me as a prefect", she said, holding out her book. The spine was broken, causing some pages to spill out. I sighed. Why did these kids come to me for these problems?

"What's his name?"

"Jimmy Peakes, he's a first-year too", she said.

"I'll sort it with Snape", I mumbled, taking the book.

"Thank you, sir", she said proudly before striding off. I sighed. The only thing fun about being a prefect was taking away House Points from Gryffindors, all the other tasks were simply annoying. At least this gave me permission to take away another twenty points from Potter's house.

"So, are you finally going to tell us what Malfoy was talking about yesterday?" Tracey asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" I shrugged, sorting out my bag for the next day.

"Oh don't play dumb with us, Lea", Daphne said. "You know damn well what she meant!" I grinned at their excited faces. I could tell them, they were my best friends.

"At his birthday party, we kissed."

"What? But that was three weeks ago!" Tracey protested. "How are we just now learning about this development?"

"Because," I shrugged,"you were blacked out drunk. Then the holidays rolled around and here we are."

"So you're dating now?" Daphne asked.

"Dating? Oh no, we're not there yet", I huffed.

"Yet! She said yet!" Tracey shouted, applauding excitedly.

"Merlin, calm down, will you?" I chuckled. "He's in his seventh year. It's not smart to start dating now."

"I see your point", Daphne nodded. "But if you really like him, it'd be a shame to not act on it."

I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do with this, which is why I wanted to take things very, very slow. If he really meant it, he'd stick around, right?

"Anyway, I've got patrol. I'll see you later", I sighed, stretching out the muscles that were begging for sleep. I pulled on my coat and headed out.

Malfoy was sitting at one of the tables in the common room, working on an essay.

"Malfoy, are you coming?" I asked. He looked up confused, clearly very into the essay.

"Potions?" I questioned. "We only got the assignment today. That isn't due for another three weeks."

"Talk to me again when I have an O and you don't, Selwyn", he sighed, putting his stuff away.

I waited a while until he followed me out of the common room.

"So, are you going to be an arse tonight or will you be tolerable?" I questioned, inspecting the small scar on my wrist where my watch had melted into my skin months ago.

"Are you going to be that annoying or will you be tolerable?" he huffed.

We walked through the hallway, but it seemed to be an uneventful night. Mondays usually were.

"Remember the girl a couple months ago? The little Hufflepuff?" I asked, thinking back to the poor girl. I hadn't really seen her around much since.

"I'm not in the mood to talk."

"What's your patronus?" I asked eventually, not wanting to spend the entire patrol in silence. I was in a surprising good mood.

"Selwyn, I said that I'm not in the mood to talk", Malfoy sneered, stopping in his tracks.

"Well you know mine, so I think it's fair that I know yours."

"Because you so desperately needed to show it off, doesn't mean I have to", he gritted.

"Oh, so we're going for arse again? Good to know", I sighed, walking on again.

"What's Daphne's patronus?" he suddenly asked. Oh, I don't think so.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Because I'm interested, is that a crime?" he asked, walking up to me again. He studied my face with narrow eyes.

"You and I both know you're not all that interested, Malfoy", I said slowly. "So what are you getting at?"

"I don't think you get to decide who I'm interested in, so keep your nose out of my business." He was a little too close to my liking, I realised as I smelled his scent of mint, apples and cologne. "Don't you have a new boyfriend to spend that attention on anyway?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Oh please, are you suddenly the type to kiss people you're not in a relationship with?" he huffed.

"Are you?"

He stared at me intensely, his eyes dark and stormy. I could not figure him out and it was frustrating. I wanted to get inside of his head, to see what he was thinking.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Selwyn", he whispered before walking off.