It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply.

- d.j.

"So, is Adrian's party still happening tonight?" Malfoy asked as we were waiting outside Snape's office. He requested us to give him an update on our prefect duties before Christmas break, but was still busy lecturing a first-year Gryffindor who had an explosive incident.

"I think so. As long as no one tells Umbridge about it." I said. The message about the party had spread through Slytherin house quickly and luckily, none of the Inquisitorial squad members had spilled. I suppose they were up for a little excitement before Christmas too.

"She has no clue, the woman is daft", Malfoy mumbled, causing me to chuckle.

"Well that's one thing we agree on. But why are you in her little squad then?"

Malfoy shrugged, avoiding my gaze.

"I get to dock house points, why wouldn't I?" He had a fair point. It was certainly right up his alley.

"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" I asked to pass the time. Listening to a crying first-year wasn't exactly my favourite pastime.

"Why do you want to know?" he frowned, finally looking at me.

"Just being nice, that's all", I rolled my eyes, fixating my eyes on the door again. Snape really had to get a move on. The party had already started and I promised Adrian I'd be there.

"Same as last year. The stupid Ministry party, fancy dinners and probably visit your house way too often." His family did come over very often, especially during Christmas break. They'd come over for Christmas, New Year's eve and Narcissa took me Christmas shopping every year.

The door opened and the Gryffindor ran out, tears staining his face.

"Enter", Snape said. We entered the classroom and I tried not to show how awkward I was feeling. This man always made me feel uncomfortable.

"Had any problems with completing your prefect duties these months?" he asked without looking up. I quickly glanced at Malfoy, but he showed no emotion.

"Not really, sir", I said. There certainly had been a couple hiccups, but I was not in the mood to put it all out there.

"Any events worth mentioning?"

"No, not really."

"Anything else you'd like to ask?"

"No", Malfoy said this time, not sounding the least bit interested.

"Good, you can go now", Snape said. He hadn't looked at us once. So this was his half-year check-up? How ... extensive.

Malfoy exited the classroom, so I quickly followed him. At least I hadn't missed much of the party in the common room.

"Why do you always look so unhappy, Malfoy?" I asked, genuinely curious. He smiled so little.

"None of your business, Selwyn", he sighed, picking up his pace.

The common room was in full swing when we entered. Luckily someone had cast the Silencio spell or we would have already been in great trouble. I scanned the room, not sure what to do. Daphne was nowhere to be found and Adrian was completely surrounded by his friends.

It took me a while to spot Tracey, but I soon discovered her on one of the couches, glued to Graham Montague's lips. How ... wonderful.

"Eleanor, you made it!" I heard. Adrian pushed himself through the barrier of people and jogged my way. He had a bright smile on his face, but he squinted his eyes slightly, indicating that he had had a drink or two.

"Sure did", I said as he reached me. "I already told you this morning, but happy birthday again." I hugged him quickly and butterflies erupted as I felt his hands on my waist. It felt like that was their rightful place all along. How was I expected to resist this man?

"Well, what would you like to drink, darling?" he purred, gently pulling me to the back of the common room, where multiple tables were littered with bottles, glasses and sweets.

"I'll take a Firewhiskey, thank you", I said. It was the last party before Christmas break after all.

"Hmm, classy", Adrian winked. He grabbed a glass and a bottle of Firewhiskey, uncapping it with his teeth and poured me a glass, surprisingly steady for his tipsy state.

"There you go M'lady", he grinned, handing me the glass and putting the bottle away. I felt his eyes burn on me as I took a sip and the smile that danced on his lips made my heart melt.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, cocking a brow to seem confident. He was eating away at that confidence rapidly though. Crushes were terrible, yet so exciting.

"You know why", he whispered. I immediately turned my head to hide the blush that I so desperately tried to stop.

"So confident, is it you talking, or just the alcohol?"

"Darling, do you not know me at all? I don't need alcohol to be this charming. It's a natural gift." I couldn't help but laugh. He sure was something else.

"Sure, Adonis of Hogwarts. I'll see you around." I had to get out of there soon, this was torture.

I spun the liquid in my glass around as I took a seat by the fire, analysing the room, taking a sip once in a while.

"Lea, there you are!" Tracey said, peeling herself away from Montague. "I looked all over for you." She fell down on the couch next to me, a Firewhiskey bottle dangling from her hand dangerously.

"Well, I sure wasn't inside Montague's mouth", I chuckled. Said male had joined Adrian and was talking to him excitedly, glancing our way often. He was probably talking about his latest catch, but luckily Tracey wasn't a girl to get attached easily.

"Well I had some fun, boohoo", Tracey huffed. "You should too, here you go." She grabbed my glass and poured more Firewhiskey into it.

"Merlin, Tracey, that's Firewhiskey, not pumpkin juice", I stopped her before the liquid could spill over.

"Oh don't be so uptight. You're going back home tomorrow, to your strict parents who don't even know what the word 'fun' means. Just relax a little." She was clearly very relaxed, but she wasn't wrong. I had to prepare myself for two weeks of being polite, preppy and impeccably presented.

"Yeah, Selwyn, relax a little", Malfoy mocked as he sat down on the opposite couch, Daphne on his heels.

"And you're the expert I should take advice from?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not half as uptight as you, Selwyn", he chuckled, folding his hands.

"Well you're the one with empty hands", Tracey quipped, pouring herself another glass.

"As if Selwyn is going to get drunk tonight. You've never even been tipsy. Probably can't hold a drink", he frowned, trying to defend his ego.

"What do you think, Eleanor, bottoms up?" Tracey smiled brightly. Downing the glass? This girl wasn't in her right mind.

"Cheers", she said and clinked her glass against mine before I could protest. As much as this was not a good idea, annoying Malfoy was an absolutely terrific idea and I'd rather not have him telling me I'm uptight all night.

My eyes remained on the boy as I drank the contents of my glass. I forced myself to not move a muscle whilst my throat was on fire. I had the urge to cough, but I pressed my jaws on each other tightly. Luckily it was dark, because my face was probably bright red and my eyes teared up slightly. I really was not trained in drinking alcohol.

"Cheers Malfoy", I mumbled as I put the glass down. He kept his gaze fixated on me as he leaned back, trying to notice me faltering. Luckily, Crabbe and Goyle joined, breaking the tension and his attention, so I could cough softly.

The party was actually really fun. I did slow down on the drinks after that one Tracey-style-glass, because Malfoy was quite right about me not being able to handle alcohol. I'd rather not end up dancing on a table in front of everyone.

Something I didn't like was Pansy Parkinson hanging around Adrian all night. Sure, I disliked her in any given situation, but she was easy to deal with. Right now she was playing with fire.

Tracey had passed out on the couch, completely wasted. Daphne on the other hand was very much sober, noticing my look towards the other side of the common room. Malfoy had left and she had finally given up on following him around.

"You should mark your territory, Lea", Daphne said as she followed my gaze. "Make sure she stays away from your man."

"Adrian is not my man", I said, not moving my gaze from the pair. Adrian didn't seem to care much, but Pansy was so persistent that he had to give her his full attention.

"Oh come on, stop denying it. You and I both know you like him! Just tell that parasite to back off."

Pansy put her hand on Adrian's shoulder, whispering something in his ear. I was jealous. I was properly jealous. She had to get her hands off him.

"She's going to make a move soon", Daphne continued. Pansy kept pressing herself against him, causing my blood to boil. I finished my drink and stood up. Not on my watch.

I forced myself to walk casually and hide my annoyance. Like my mother always said, you can do whatever you want to do, as long as you can do it with immaculate class.

"Pansy, darling, could you get your desperate arse out of here, please?" I asked with a fake smile. "I'd like to have a word with the birthday boy."

"Can't you see I'm having a word with him?" she said, linking her arm with his.

"Of course, and that's finished now. Go along, there's no need for you anymore."

Pansy pressed her lips on each other, eyes spitting fire. She was about to give another stupid remark, but Adrian quickly pulled himself out of her grasp and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Let's get out of here", he chuckled and pulled me away from the fuming girl.

"You're quite sexy when you're so bossy", Adrian grinned, pulling open the door to the hallway. The sudden silence was a surprising contrast after sitting in the bustling common room for hours.

"She simply needs to know her place. I can't stand the girl", I said, leaning against the windowsill.

"Well I'm grateful, she was really annoying." He walked closer and a bright smile still laid on his lips, his hair a little tousled. We were all alone in the hallway and I knew where this was headed.

And I didn't exactly mind it.

"I would complain about the Ravenclaw colours, but you look really good in blue", he said, his voice slightly hoarse. He gently traced his finger along my arm over my navy jumper, sending chills down my spine.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were flirting with me again", I said. He looked up again, his eyes twinkling. He had very pretty eyes, pulling me in even more. This was a bad idea.

"And do you know better, Eleanor Selwyn?" he said, his voice a mere whisper.

"I suppose not."

"And if I was, how would you feel about that?" He inched closer carefully, his eyes never leaving mine. How did I feel about that? Right now I was feeling a lot of things.

"Like I'm playing a dangerous game", I said, tucking away a piece of hair that had fallen in front of his face. "And I'm losing."

He gently lifted up my chin, brushing his thumb against my bottom lip.

"Does that mean that I'm winning?" he said, gently moving his hand back up my arm.

"I think you are", I whispered. His hand moved up my jaw and brushed the hair out of my face. He glanced at my lips shortly, before gazing into my eyes again.

"What's my price?"

And those last words that left his lips, slightly hoarse and slightly laced with alcohol were the final drop. I could not resist this man. He had me wrapped around his finger.

I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in, gently placing my lips on his.

He kissed me back instantly, gently pulling me closer by my waist. He smiled in the kiss as his second hand remained on my chin.

I had never kissed anyone before because I never engaged in romantic behaviour. But with Adrian, I had. He had won me over and there was nothing I could do about it.

My first kiss with seventh year, pureblood Slytherin Adrian Pucey, not bad.

And definitely not a bad kiss either. He was gentle, but still dominant. Playful, but charming.

He pulled away, gently tugging my bottom lip.

"We should do that more often", he said, a wide grin on his face. This had made things a lot more complicated, though. This had been fun, sure, but what if I'd go through with it? Adrian would graduate in six months and I'd still be here for two years. I could not do that, nor did I want to. But could I stay away from him?

Tomorrow, Christmas break would start. I'd have plenty of time to think things over.

"We'll see about that", I said, pulling myself out of his grip. I smiled at him to let him know I didn't regret it, but then I walked away, promising myself that I'd not let this happen again before the break. Just a couple hours ...