the aftermath of a storm is strange in the sense it feels like an alternate reality. that's how tae felt, alone on the kitchen floor as he watched jungkook finish gathering his things before leaving through the front door.

every scream had just settled into silence- himself and jin the only two left in the apartment but too mad to say anything to one another. both felt the other was wrong, stubborn like siblings, and taehyung wanted to rip his hair out.

what had been the most beautiful night, a morning of bliss, had crumbled so quickly.

"i'll stay with namjoon until you leave. when do you leave?" jin dropped a pan in the sink, the unpleasant sound of metal on metal breaking the trance.

"don't be an idiot." taehyung knew it was disrespectful to speak in such a manner but he was mad, really mad, "i haven't even agreed to the job yet."

"but you're going too."

"that's not really your call, is it?" the younger crossed his arms against his chest, "but i am going to if it means i can get away from you!"

it was so childish, the tone and the way he glanced over his shoulder with the sassiest glare.

jin rolled his eyes at the behavior, "you have a knack for not speaking unless you're forced too."

"and you have a knack for speaking too much and jumping to whatever conclusion your tiny brain has made up!"

jin placed the final plate on the drying rack, wiping his hands against his pants as he gathered his coat and bag, "have a safe flight taehyung, leave your key on the counter when you go."

the younger didn't want to cry. didn't want to appear like he was weak, like he was in need of all these other beings to generate his worth and yet he felt that way. without his cousin, his boyfriend, hell, even namjoon, he felt like he had just been stripped from everyone and everything that had given him a bit of sanity. he felt down right abandoned.

a series of questions slipped through his mind-

did nobody care if he left? was nobody listening when he said he hadn't even made up his mind? why did everyone want to jump to inconvenient conclusions? when he was screaming, was it silent?

his frustration manifested to the smashing of the freshly washed plate, stopping jin in his tracks. he had never seen such fury on the face of his family

member and yet under the fluorescent bulbs, he looked almost manic.

"tae! you're bleeding!" jin dropped his things, rushing back to the spot he just stood, "why did you do that?"

between tired sniffles, a combination of minimal

sleep and a mound of sadness, he managed to form a few words, "n- n- nobody i- is g- go- gonna m- miss me!" the blood pouring from the side of his hand, sliced open by a piece of pottery that ricocheted, was spilling everywhere.

the older huffed, using a dish towel to wrap it up, "you're going to need stitches."

tae's face turned pale in disgust. the idea of a needle looping through his skin, piecing him back together again like a fabric doll, it made his stomach turn.

"you're okay. i'll be there." the older wiped tae's hair from his face, a cold sweat staining each strand, "maybe it'll just need a band aid, okay?"

taehyung nodded at that, holding the towel even tighter as jin led him outside.

"we all will miss you. you know that, right?" he cracked a door open for his cousin, helping him with the buckle, "that's why i was so frustrated- it felt like- it feels like you're abandoning us."

taehyung hadn't thought of it like that, "wh- what?"

"you waltzed back into seoul, perfect as always! a true delight and then you're just leaving again?" a sad chuckle escaped jin's throat, "i want you happy and vibrant and thriving and i don't think you can do that if you leave every time you feel unsure or uncomfortable. why did you apply for that job?"

taehyung faced the window, a shy gaze at his own appearance as he recalled what had compelled him to do so, "i had just read the article about jungkook and jennie."

"and what does that say about why you did it?"

"it says that i leave every time i'm unsure or uncomfortable." his tone was almost mocking of the words jin had just spoke despite how correct they were.

"and do you think that's healthy for you? do you think leaving because you and jungkook might not last forever is a good idea? is your worth in this world so slim that if you don't have a significant other in the city that you're in, then you don't want to be there?" the words were harsh, a rip to his chest at the accuracy- tae had never looked at it in such a manner.

jin continued, "jungkook isn't bogum, okay? if anything, he's messier and more chaotic. but did you see the absolute horror when he realized you might leave?"

"but he didn't sound upset! he told me to go!"

"because he was so distraught at the idea that you didn't confide in him about this! do you see where we're coming from at least a little bit?"

"i feel like you went about it incorrectly but i guess... i understand." taehyung watched as the lights from the hospital crawled into view, his tummy twitching every so slightly with nerves.

"well you know i have always had a flair for the dramatics- seems like it must run in the family mister break a plate instead of just using words." jin pulled into a spot, a weak smile as he helped tae from the car and into the waiting room, "but, i sincerely apologize for sticking my nose in your business. i should have let you tell jungkook on your own terms at your own time."

"please never stop sticking your nose in my business." tae let his head rest against his cousin's shoulder as they settled into two open seats, grateful the fight hadn't extended past an hour.

within a split second they both heard the scream, "tae!" a familiar voice called out from the front entrance, breaking the brunettes concentration and distracting everyone else from their own ailments.

tae turned his head to see jungkook, scraps of protective paper over his shirt and a half completed face of makeup indicating that he was in the midst of being styled, "oh thank god!" the younger reached for the towel-wrapped hand and held it tightly like his touch alone would mend the gash, "what were you thinking?"

"alright, that was the last time i'm sticking my nose in your business!" jin winked, walking away to give the two some space but keeping a curious eye on them despite.

"what are you doing here?" tae shook his head, feeling as though he was in a dream- maybe he had lost too much blood. maybe this was what the brink of death felt like.

"jin texted, said you were in the emergency room. i'll throw away all the plates and any other place setting that dare hurt you!"

"don't you have to-," taehyung tugged at the unfinished details of his outfit, "you know, go talk about yourself and your song? don't you never want to see me again? i felt like at the apartment we were-,"

"you felt like i didn't want to see you because i haven't completely successfully implemented my newly gained anger management skills." his slender fingers cupped the older boy's cheek, tracing each freckle and blemish that barely existed, "tae, i said that because i got so mad at the idea of you leaving that i thought saying something rude and childish would make my own feelings of pure anguish go away! anguish tae, because anger and sadness and heartbreak aren't enough to describe how i'd feel if you left before ever giving us a real chance."

the older blushed at that, depictions of mid morning make out sessions and late night cuddles clouding his mind- all of this was a whirlwind guided by mere minutes of sleep and clouded judgement of past relationships that seemed to come back to haunt. he was still jaded by the dazzling smile of jeon jungkook, the way his voice dripped, sweet as honey when he sang and spoke.

it was enough to leave him wanting more. enough to leave him stuck in seoul while he figured out if this was a good time or a long time- preferably it could be both.

"but, if you go to greenland- which probably isn't even that green- i will come visit and i will call you every night and i will write you love letters and whatever else i can do to ensure if you do go to greenland, you at least come home someday. to where you belong." the lingering stare of his doe eyes left tae writhing in his seat with delight- they were the sweetest most entrancing image, "and if for some reason, you choose to stay here instead, will you work for me? i'll pay you to be pretty. i'll pay you to play your viola. whatever you want, really!"

he meant it. if the world was for sale, he'd buy it for tae if it meant they could walk it together. if time machines existed, he'd waltz back in time, the strings of the sweetest symphony leading them, all because he knew tae had a soft spot for classic music.

if everything negative in jungkook's past could be readjusted or erased- well, he wouldn't change that because without it, he wouldn't have ended up here.

"you don't have to decide now but, either way, i'm not going anywhere." his finger bopped the tip of tae's nose.

"except right now!" tae used the small bit of energy he had left to stand, to push jungkook to the door, "go claim your success! you've worked hard. and it's just a few stitches!"

"you sure?"

"positive! now good luck." the overpriced car parked crookedly was visible from the entrance, namjoon annoyed and in the passenger seat waiting for the main guest to slide into the back.

taehyung watched it peel out, the window of the back rolled down where a stylist viciously applied powder as jungkook could only beam back at his boyfriend, "tae!" he yelled from the moving vehicle, "i love you no matter what you decide!"

the older crinkled his nose in satisfaction, "cute."

"cute? disgusting!" jin made a fake gagging noise, pulling his cousin back inside, "the doctor will see you now!"