the hospital on the cusp of night looked like something from a movie scene- clouds over the moon, the lights from each floor echoing that patients filled them.

taehyung couldn't help but imagine jungkook in one of the rooms, hooked up to machines, sick, and sad, and lonely-

he wanted to run inside, call his name, find him but he knew that wasn't feasible. somebody of jungkook's status was tucked away, hidden from fans and media and more, woven behind corridors that normal people could never cross.

"ready?" jin parked the car, cracking opening the passenger door to help his cousin stumble out.

both of them noted the way a news van had pulled up, an anchor claiming to have witnessed the aftermath of the crash, breaking the news that for the second time in such a short period of time, jeon jungkook had proven to be nothing more than a drunk.

tae wanted to yell at her, correct her, tell her he was far more than that. addiction doesn't shape a person, a car accident doesn't ruin somebody- he needed space, a moment to breath without a camera down his neck.

"ignore them..." jin must have felt the way tae tensed at the sight, leading him through the doors to a waiting area.

the older was stoic, setting taehyung down in a waiting room chair as he spoke with a nurse about tracking down a man with purple hair who had probably rushed in here just moments before them. her voice was low so nobody else could hear, tucked beneath glass she slid a fob and a sheet of paper, directing him to an entirely separate wing.

as they walked, it felt like they were floating. walls and floors white like sheets, coated with a strange, sterile scent and in the distance sat a set of doors that required special access. jin swiped the fob he had been given, grateful that it opened with ease to a place that looked far less scary than the rest of the building.

inside were chairs far more comfortable, neutral tones instead of the standard hospital white, and sitting in the corner was kim namjoon, his head of hair unmissable in such a mundane atmosphere. he clearly was on his phone, yelling and bickering and attempting to come up with a plan as he often did.

nobody worked as tirelessly for jungkook. nobody cared as deeply.

"is he okay?" taehyung knew that jin didn't have an answer; they had arrived at the same time, spoke to the same people, and yet he had an aura about him that seemed like everything he said would be entirely trustworthy.

the older only looped an arm around his cousin's shoulder, tugging him in for a warm embrace, "i'm sure he's fine, why don't you sit?"

they moved to a spot across from namjoon, trying desperately not to eavesdrop as he mulled on about a treatment center and needing access as soon as possible. it was horrifying, to think of jungkook strapped into a room with nothing but a mismatched sweat suit and a therapist. taehyung couldn't imagine him anywhere but next to him.

"you guys got here quick!" namjoon finally pressed off his call, the saddest attempt at a smile forming on his lips as he tried to hold back any tears that dared to form, "he's fine just a bit... bruised up." the way he shivered with each word, the way he glanced at the floor- avoiding eye contact, it all seemed suspicious.

"are you okay?" jin's hand extended, gripping his boyfriend's to comfort him.

the man just nodded, his lip tucked between his teeth as he glanced over at tae, "the good news is that you'll have thirty days off."

it didn't feel like good news at all.

"because jungkook has to leave town for a bit, get some help that none of us can provide."

"what does that mean?" tae hadn't realized how his nostrils were flaring, how the stems of his ears were coated in blood red; he was unaware of much of an effect a moment like this could have on him.

"it means he's going to rehab." namjoon seemed to settle as the actual word flew from his mouth, rolling off his tongue like it was the dinner specials at a local diner.

the younger could only freeze, the idea of jungkook detoxing, suffering, working through problems that were stemmed so much deeper than any person should have to handle on his own- it tore his insides into absolute pieces. if it were possible he would run to him, carry him on his back to an island and they'd bathe in the sun, sober up there where it was comfortable. if he could fix him, he wouldn't be broken.

"can i see him?" the words blurted out rapid fire, his figure pacing through the room.

namjoon sighed, "i know you two have gotten close but i think it's best if you-,"

"no. no! don't give me the it's best if-," tae took a deep breath in, "namjoon. i need to see him."

"tae he's leaving soon and i just don't-,"

"did he say he didn't want to see me?"

namjoon shook his head.

"then tell me where he is. i need to see him!" neither jin nor namjoon had seen tae with such fury in his eyes, a fire beneath him as he waited in anticipation for one of them to say something, "fine. i'll find him myself!" he brushed past the door to the rooms, grateful that at this hour of the day hardly any nurses or doctors were roaming with curiosity.

at one point he wondered if he should ask where jungkook is or if they would assume he was a crazy fan- maybe in a way, he was exactly that. a fan, who knew him on an intimate level, who liked him for far more than his music. what would happen with those songs he recorded in the studio the other day, what would happen between his wife, and his daughter, and the hearing- tae felt like they had been through a marathon that just never seemed to end. always uphill.

and like a light at the end of the tunnel, he spotted two j's on the outside of a door, a familiar mop of black curls piled against a green sweatshirt. despite the scratches and the stitches, the marks on his face- he was still undeniably the most handsome man to exist.

"kook..."

he glanced up from the bed, the slightest smile twitching on his lips but the lost sparkle in his eye reminding them that this time would be short and it would be nothing but bittersweet.

taehyung wanted to be careful with him, a delicate flower, fresh from a stomping but he couldn't help the way his body just fell into the younger. he was able to hold the sobs back, hold any tears, and he just stared, at the mass of fabric in front of him, gripping it like if he let go he'd lose it all.

"why did you drive?"

jungkook groaned at this, the scent of alcohol still fresh on his skin mixed with iodine and other solutions that had been applied all over, "i was dumb. i was drunk."

tae's long digits gripped at his cheeks, wanting to hold them in his hands forever like the most perfect crystal ball, "you should have called me. i would have called a cab- i would have come!"

"maybe i didn't want you too." the way he spoke, it wasn't malicious or mean, it was honest, his own being loving misery just too much to want to be rescued.

"i'm so mad at you."

"you should be." jungkook felt his arms fall against the boys waist, rocking him back and forth as the rickety hospital bed held them both up, "stay mad at me forever because you have to leave tae. you have to leave this town, this country- you don't belong here."

"what is that supposed to mean?"

"it means i know what you want and it isn't this." jungkook knew he needed to say what he wanted to quickly, the clock ticking as to when a cab would take him to the outskirts of seoul where he would spend the next thirty days, "you want to perform and craft and create. you deserve it. you're so talented."

"i want to be here. i want to be with you!" his voice was hardly a whisper, his eyes closed to blink back any moisture that dare creep to his waterline and before he knew it, tiny fists were hitting jungkook's chest in a bid of frustration, "i want you to stay!"

the words made jungkook's whole essence break apart. if he could stay, if he could make tae happy- he would do it all. he would give him the globe, take him around, provide opportunities that would otherwise seem impossible. he wanted to be his saving grace but instead the roles had been reversed. tae guarding him and lifting him up. the younger could only shake his head no, hoping it would get the point across that it couldn't be that way.

"please don't go!" tae's forehead rested against jungkook, strands of black and brown co-mingling to a perfect sea of straight and wavy, of night and day- they were truly perfect opposites.

"it's just for a bit. please don't stay just for me. i'm not worth it!" the younger was demanding it at this point, desperate for tae to find footing on his own, away from the toxicity and the drama. away from everything jungkook has and would continue to put him through.

"jeon jungkook. you are more than worth it! you are beyond worth it!" taehyung felt his hands extend, holding him as tight as possible for just a moment, "i will be here when you're back. i will be here during it. i will support you, lift you up, because at one point i thought i was meant to play the viola in a different country, and immerse myself in that dream, but now, i see that i'm meant for more. for something different- wouldn't you say that our meeting was fated?"

the black-haired boy nodded, the shyest smile gracing his lips to reveal two adorably placed teeth that made him resemble a forest creature even more than normal, "tae, you're serious?"

"dead."

it was beautiful, the way the older didn't hesitate and it inspired jungkook to do the same. their lips landing on one another, a perfect crash and mixture of every moment leading up to it, this time feeling different than all the previous ones. it was hungry, for lust, for love, for more because they knew now they both wanted it. desperate for one another, craving one another.

and thirty days didnt usually seem that long but in this case, it already felt like a lifetime.