ding. ding. ding.

the doors to the elevator finally opened, taehyung's whole figure practically falling from the carriage as he trailed down the hall to the door he was looking for.

despite having a key, he knocked at first, just once, before resorting to full on banging.

"what are you doing here?" jungkook opened the door, his bare torso on full display, pants sitting just barely below his hips like had been sleeping. he looked a tad disheveled but even then, he was one of the most attractive men taehyung had ever seen, "tae, are you okay?"

the younger noticed the way fresh tears still lingered on his cheeks, the way his nose was red from running, his cheeks ice cold from hitting raw air, "please, come in!" just like he did for his daughter every time she fell, he wiped the tears away with his thumb. it didn't fit as nicely along tae's face, a tad too small to cover the entirety but it just meant he got to continue touching the older who looked so fragile and delicate as he settled onto the floor of the living room.

jungkook grabbed a throw blanket from the edge, wrapping it around tae's shoulder to warm him up. it seemed like such a small gesture, like he had to offer more yet he had nothing besides a half empty bottle of whisky that he had abruptly thrown under the couch in fear that namjoon was the one at the door.

"do you want to talk about it?" the younger sat in front of tae, tugging his knees to his chest in an attempt to hide the fact he was half naked.

taehyung paused, pondering what there was even to say. his outburst came from something pretty non-important in the grand scheme and jungkook wasn't paid to carry his burdens. it was the opposite; tae had to be there for him.

and yet the younger looked so soft sitting in front of him, so willing to listen and help, so genuine with worry.

"how do you do it?" tae finally spoke between sobs, his hands in tiny fists that he used to wipe any stray tears away.

"how do i do what?"

"deal with an ex that you have to see, that you have no choice but to see? how do you not throw up or have a breakdown every time?" taehyung recalled the way his stomach dropped at the mere mention that bogum was in seoul, the way he felt like he might pass out or worse, die.

"i haven't really gotten there yet. i still feel that way..." jungkook raised a brow, "tae, what is this about?"

"do you have anything to drink?" the boy's head glanced around, trying to sneak a peek into the wine cooler to see what jungkook might have hiding.

"like water?

"like alochol?"

jungkook sheepishly pulled the bottle of booze from under the couch, "you need a glass or-,"

taehyung cut him off, grabbing it from him and twisting the cap aggressively before downing far more than just a sip.

"so, it's that kind of night?" jungkook licked his lips as he admired tae's. they were moist, covered in whisky- his favorite combination. he wanted to kiss every lingering ounce from him, stop any bit of hurt in the process. it was temping, the way his almond eyes were so down turned and needy. the younger felt his finger lift up tae's chin, forcing eye contact, they stared intently for what felt like an hour but was merely seconds.

"it will sound silly... if i say it..." taehyung sniffled, pondering how he would even justify his emotions to somebody who had seen hell, who was still living it.

"feelings aren't silly taehyung." jungkook had such force with his words, the way he spoke them so sternly.

tae a scolded child, jungkook demanding; he took another swig and let the burn really linger before opening his mouth, "i ran into my ex at some stupid bar to see some stupid performer and he already has somebody new. it's only been a few weeks! it's like he went to california and then he just met somebody on the first day and already is bringing him home. he didn't even bring me home! and we have the same home!" the thoughts were jumbled, a mess as he tried to explain it in-between sips of straight whisky.

jungkook attempted to follow, getting the general idea as he nodded along, "so, he was a jerk."

"a mega jerk!" taehyung whined, "like the biggest jerk on the planet... but he wasn't always that way..." his eyes sparkled as he recalled fonder times, "sometimes he was so sweet. he'd always get flowers on special occasions, he'd also give me an ice cube from his water if my americano was too hot, he'd always help me around puddles like we were some couple from the forties!"

"did you love him?" jungkook leaned back on his hands, revealing his perfectly toned abdominal area.

taehyung didn't mean to study each crevice, the way they dipped, the sides of his body creasing in to give him an almost hourglass physique but, he couldn't help it. jungkook's whole figure was a story, a small scar on his cheek, freckle beneath his lip, a tattoo lining the inside of his arm and others trailing all the way down, unreadable when he wore sleeves, they were a puzzle of connecting artwork and significant moments- this man had things to say but didn't need words to do so.

he hated how enchanted he was by the "bad boy" aura. it felt cliche when he was pining over somebody who was so opposite. so crisp and clean.

bogum was button up shirts and penny loafers. he was simple dinner dates and scheduled sex. he was in bed by ten, a chapter of a book read before he hit the pillow. he was selfish, utterly compelled for whatever could get him ahead. he was manipulative.

not a single raw or un-calculated thing about him, no spontaneity.

"sometimes i think i still do..." taehyung gnawed at his bottom lip nervously, suddenly feeling like the room had warmed up a thousand degrees as he attempted to avert his eyes anywhere but at jungkook, "do you still love your wife?"

"with my entire heart and soul..." the younger shifted his figure, leaning forward to take in the boozy breaths spilling from taehyung's mouth, "if i could go back in time, i would fix it all with her. show her that she's enough. that i don't need somebody like jimin or somebody like you to keep me entertained." his eyes narrowed, "show her that i could be the most perfect, doting, husband that she always wanted!"

"so- somebody l- like me?" taehyung felt his voice drop, barely a whisper as he saw the cracks and crevices in jungkook's lips so up close and personal.

"somebody with... certain tendencies." jungkook felt his hand crank taehyung's head to the side, both of them leaning closer to one another, "tell me to stop. tell me you don't want this."

the older wanted to say it so badly. he wanted to stop this because he knew-

that this would end in disaster.

that he would leave more hurt than he came.

but he couldn't say no, couldn't stop the way jungkook let them fall into one another, a rhythmic beating of hearts mimicking on each others lips; it was like nothing taehyung had ever felt before. it was like a first kiss all over again, a first time; he let the weight of jungkook's body fall onto him, noting the way the younger used his overly strong arms to hold his weight, careful not to crush the fragile man beneath him.

he had never felt so free, so at peace. so comfortable in the arms of another person.

bogum had felt okay but, this felt right. really, really right.

tae was aware his thoughts were cliche and that they were ignorant. the swirling tongue in his mouth forcing dominance between the two of them continued to remind him that jungkook was a drunk on the brink of divorce, he was manic, helped lead to his creativity. it was evident in the way he gripped tae so tightly, the way he seemed so overbearing one moment and gentle the next, he was unpredictable. he was exciting. and maybe that's what kept tae from saying that four letter word because in reality-

he didn't want jungkook to ever stop.