"haerin!" i exclaim

and threw my arms around her.

she pouted and hugged me back, "don't just leave me without a proper goodbye. it was scary."

i chuckled and said, "i'm sorry. i didn't know that could happen."

she sighed and stared at me, "you cried?"

she must've noticed my puffy eyes.

"i guess so?"

she let out a small gasp, "you did! oh no, why?"

"remember the girl i mentioned not long ago?"

"you mean, hana?"

i nod my head.

a wide smile was plastered on her face, "what about her? did you finally go to her?"

she looked really happy.

not long ago, i opened up to haerin about hana.

she was really sad to hear the story and even comforted me while she was bawling her eyes out.

she told me that when i was finally ready, i should go see hana's grave and talk to her.

and i did.

it felt nice, although it looked really weird to see someone talking to thin air.

but to me at that time, it felt like i was really talking to hana.

and it made my heart feel at ease.

"tell me more about hana!" she giggled.

"okay okay,

well, for starters hana is a smart girl.

she would always remind me to do my homework and would scold me for sleeping in class."

haerin giggled, "you sound like a baddie, lele."

i scrunch my nose, "no i'm not!"

"yes you are!"

i huff and continued talking, "hana also liked to send me a shit ton of memes."

"she loves memes too! i love to send memes too!" haerin clapped.

"hana was really supportive and even helped me get jisung and jaein together."

"well aren't you two the cutest matchmaker!" haerin chuckled.

i snickered, "i guess it's only her who's the matchmaker now."

haerin tilts her head in confusion, "what do you mean?"

"i bet hana set us up together as well."

haerin's eyes widened, i noticed her cheeks getting red, "o-okay, why don't we talk about something else?"

i laughed at her baffled expression, "you're cute when you're flustered."

that made her reddened cheeks worse as she buried her face onto the crook of my neck,

"stop that!" she whines.

"can i ask you something, hae?"

haerin kept her face on against me as she murmured, "what do you want to know?"

"why are your hands bandaged?"

haerin looked up at me then at her hands, then she looked back up to meet her eyes with mine, "my hands are full of cuts and scars, lele."

i frowned, not liking what i heard.

"why?"

"i hurt my self."

i gasped and gave her a hug, "why would you do that?"

"i was so fed up with life, lele. i didn't mean it. but, it felt like it was the right thing to do at that time. i was so broken down into pieces. my sister also died a long time ago and that really broke me apart,"

"she was the reason why i kept living even if life's not worth living anymore."

i hush her and softly caressed her. "you don't have to hurt yourself anymore, haerin."

"what do you mean?"

"you can find someone new to be the reason why you believe life is worth living."

"i know..." she slowly trailed off

"you should know that, too." she mumbled and looked at me.

"because you're the reason why i believe life is worth living."

she smiled at me,

"i want to meet you in person, too."

i grinned at her, "we will."

"i promise you."