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My hand runs along the silk material of my bridesmaids dress, letting the baby pink bottom half of the dress slip through my fingers. I let out a sigh. Not a sad sigh, but a i'm moving on to a new chapter in my life, sigh.

Well, it is a new chapter in my mindset. Today my mom and Charlie are getting married. We are moving in with Charlie when they get back from their honeymoon to Scotland – somewhere my mom has always wanted to go.

What is good about this, is that Charlie lives about twenty minutes away from here, which means I will be twenty minutes away from Zeke.

Zeke.

The person I haven't spoken a word to since that night of the party.

I think it is for the best. I've managed to get back on top of my schoolwork, go out less, get closer with my old friends in the chess club, and I haven't even cried over him once. It hurt so bad, but I had to force myself to forget about him, and not keep going over the what ifs. What if Zeke didn't act the way he did that night, and I told him how I felt? What if he told me he felt the same way? What if I had spent this last depressing month with a smile on my face?

Who cares? It's better this way.

I reassure myself and look in the mirror, taking a deep breath. It's better this way. I nod to my reflection, agreeing with the stronger side of me.

"Come on, Barnie!" Joey calls from downstairs. "We got places to be!"

I smile, remembering that today my mother is getting married. She is finally moving on from my dad and committing to someone else, leaving the darkness in the past. I am doing the same with Zeke, yet sometimes I wonder if it is the light that I am leaving behind, not the darkness.

With one last look in the mirror at my tired eyes, I carefully take my dress off its hanger and put it on.

"Danggg," Joey says when I get downstairs. "Look at you, all grown up."

"I could say the same for you," I gesture towards his suit. "Nice to see you wearing something other than sweatpants."

"Don't get used to it, sis." He picks up his car keys off the counter and walks towards the door. "Let's go, we're already late."

"No we're not. It doesn't start for another hour," I defend, slipping my feet into my uncomfortable but beautiful white sparkly heels.

"Well, sorry, Ms. Time expert," he says in a goofy voice and I roll my eyes at his childishness.

I plop my phone into my clutch bag and we go outside. Joey locks the door behind us and we get into his car.

My mom and Charlie are at the hotel next to the church where the wedding will be. My mom

left early this morning while Zoey was here doing my hair and makeup. She really is an amazing friend, coming over early just for me, then going back to her house to get ready.

"You ready for this?" Joey says as he parks the car outside the church. "You know, this is big for us too. Are you cool with mom remarrying?" He watches me with his eyebrows raised.

I smile at him. No one has asked me how I feel about it, even though I am delighted for my mom and I don't think it matters how I feel about it – it's still nice to hear someone ask.

"Yeah, I'm cool with it. Are you?"

He smiles back and looks at the church. "Yeah."

"Then let's do this," I say cheerfully and step out of the car. We head to the hotel where all the guests are, waiting to go to the church for the ceremony. We enter together through the beautifully decorated glass entrance, and step into the warmth of the hotel.

Next to the lobby is the entertainment hall, where a dozen circle tables with white sheets over them surround a dancing area. The tables are beautifully decorated with baby pink flowers and candles. I wonder if Charlie had any say in the decorations.

The room is filled with some people I recognise, and some of Charlie's friends and family that I have not met yet. The annoying thing about weddings is all the socialising that needs to be done.

"Where the fuck is the food?" Joey says, interrupting my thoughts.

"We're having dinner after the ceremony," I inform him even though he already knew.

"But I'm hungry right now."

"Have some champagne." I lift a class of champagne off of the tray of a worker walking by and hand it to Joey.

"Oh, thanks. This will totally fill me up." He says sarcastically, then takes a large drink from

the glass. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to give him that so early in the afternoon.

"Joey. Marnie!" My grandma exclaims as she approaches us with wide arms. I step into her embrace, then hug my grandfather.

"Hey, how are you guys?" I ask.

"We are wonderful. How are you both? It's been so long since we've seen you. We will need to catch up," my grandma squeezes Joey's cheeks, and he does an unattractive fake smile in response, then turns to me with widened eyes. He hates when she does that.

"Yeah, we should catch up. But – look there's Zeke!" Joey says. "We really need to talk to him, so maybe later?"

I look in the direction Joey is looking, my heart beginning to race, and sure enough, Zeke Blakely is sitting at a table with Maggie and another guy.

He is slouching in his seat, facing the dance floor area with his legs spread in front of him. I notice that he is wearing a tux, something that I didn't think he could pull off, yet he manages to look like a model in it.

He is watching Maggie talk to the guy while twiddling his phone in his hand. So he can play with that thing in his hand out of boredom instead of using it to call me?

Not that I care. I don't want him to call.

Well maybe I did at first. I wanted so badly for him to talk to me in school the next day, but he didn't. Nor did he the next day, or the next day, or the next day. He never did.

We did meet eyes a couple times though. He did stare at me a lot with a look in his eyes that says, I want to tell you something. But he never did tell me anything.

Everything was so distant. He didn't even eat lunch the cafeteria anymore, and I assumed he was round the back of the school smoking or something. People said they've seen him smoking, but I never asked Isaac or Cole to confirm it because I made them swear not to mention Zeke around me.

Joey grabs my arm and starts pulling me away, and I look back at my grandparents with an apologetic look. I feel bad for leaving so rudely, but I don't think I'd be able to stand there and talk anyway now that I know Zeke is here.

"Joey, let me go," I say in a quiet voice as we near Zeke's table. He obliges and I stop walking. When he realises i'm not following, he stops too.

"What is it?" He sighs.

"Nothing, it's just me and Zeke-" I cut myself short when my eyes lock with Zeke's. He straightens up in his seat, his eyes wide and awake.

Joey turns to Zeke. "Wassup, man?" Zeke stands up and they do their guy handshake and hug thing.

Zeke looks at me again and I avert my eyes to Maggie and the boy who are introducing themselves to Joey.

"Marn, come over here," Joey says and I realise that everyone is now looking at me. "This is Ray – Charlie's nephew," he says, gesturing to the blonde haired guy Maggie was talking to.

I walk over and plaster a smile on my face even though my mind is exploding with thoughts of Zeke and the fact that he is standing right here.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you. I didn't know Charlie had a nephew."

"I'm flattered that he talks about me so much," Ray laughs.

"Can you believe there's no food out?" Joey says to Zeke, who is looking at me.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Zeke replies as if he didn't even process what he said.

Joey waves his hand in front of Zeke's face, making him look away from me. "What the fuck are you looking at her like that for? Are you guys in love or something?" Joey and Ray laugh at his ridiculous suggestion, but Zeke and Maggie both look at the ground.

Joey stops laughing and looks between Zeke and I. "Oh good lord," he sighs.

"I need to go to the restroom," I blurt out, desperate to get out of this situation. I head out of the door that we came in, having no idea where the bathrooms are.

I know if I start looking for a bathroom i'll get lost in this big hotel, so instead I just walk to the seating area in the lobby. The sofa's are perfectly white without a single crease, and the coffee table is made of class.

Because i'm me and i'm clumsy, I'd end up ruining the perfect sofa some how, so I plop myself down on the floor in front of it. Taking a deep breath, I try to get Zeke out of my mind and the thought of how handsome he looked in that tux.

"Is the ground comfier than these rich people seats?"

Think of the devil and he shall appear.

"I wouldn't know," I say without looking up at him.

"What happened to going to the restroom?" He sits down beside me on the ground and I get a whiff of his natural scent which is much more appealing than any cologne to me.

"Couldn't find it."

"Okay..." He sighs. "So how are you? Been a while since we spoke."

"I'm fine. You?"

"Fine."

I look at him now, making our eyes lock.

"Enough of the small talk," he says. "Can we talk about what happened that night?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is. We have had a lot of disagreements in our friendship, and we have looked past them. We can do that with this too."

"I wouldn't call them disagreements. I'd call them you randomly getting pissed at me and acting like an asshole with no explanation."

"Fair enough. But I gave you an explanation in the end."

"So what's your explanation this time?"

He presses his lips together and looks away. "Maybe I will tell you later when I've had a few drinks."

So he's started drinking again?

"Save it. I'd rather not talk to you when you're drunk." I stand up from the floor, praying that I don't fall back down from these heels.

"I hate this awkward thing we have right now," he stands up too. "I want to be like how we were."

"Well," I hesitate. "I don't."

He looks saddened by this as his eyes fall. "Why?"

"I just don't, Zeke. Things are better this way." I walk away before I can see this reaction, because if I looked at his sad face I'm not sure I'd ever be able to walk away.

+++

*SHITTY I KNOW ITS JUST A FILLER CHAPTER*

teaser: zarnie?

ly

-e