When I reached my room, although I hate it but the first thing I have to deal with is my walk-in closet, the biggest reminiscent of my old-snobbish self. When I opened it and walked inside, a dejected sigh left my lips as I looked around at my sixteen-year-old clothes, all vibrant and flashy, overly-expensive with not an ounce of class in them. In the morning, I somehow found some simple tee and some jeans to change into. Not wasting any more time, I called some maids inside and started cleaning out my closet.

After two-hours of hard-work, I got rid of every cloth I had except for plain tees & trousers, some jeans & shorts, and a few bags. I could see the maids bulging eyes while staring at me when I ordered them to keep anything they want and send the remaining to the orphanage. I guess it was a little hard for them to accept considering that not a week ago I was obsessed over such things.

About new clothes, thinking of this I walked toward my mother's room. She was a businesswoman with a class, her clothes might not fit my young petite self but I'll manage, for now, I want to wear what she had worn. With this new beginning, I want her to be with me, even it's her familiar clothes & scent.

With a sweet smile and keeping my emotions at bay, I went through my mother's closet, while taking out some folded clothes a picture frame fell on the floor. Picking it up- I met with a picture of my younger self. In the photograph, my three years old self with a big smile is looking toward the camera, my tiny hands are wrapped around our pet dog that time -Jordy- a Pit Bull. I stood leaning against his body, it bent down to reach my height and support my weight, also staring at the camera with mouth open and tongue out -behind the lens was my mother, and instead of camera I know we both were beaming toward her.

The memory, the emotions, the smile, the moment, so pure and innocent.

Staring at it for quite a long time, I decided to keep the frame, and about an hour later, I entered my room with my and maids' hands full of my mother's things. I selfishly took everything I could, her perfumes, her professional suits, blouses, and even shoes that may fit me in the coming years.

I was in midst of filling my closet with my new belongings when an obnoxiously loud sound started resonating throughout the room. I struggled to find the source and in the end, found it hidden behind my pillow. My phone ringing with some song that was probably my favorite. I truly had a terrible taste.

When my eyes fell on the screen, it showed the name: '~my love~'

With frowned brows I tried to recall whom this number belonged to, I didn't have a boyfriend around this time, some crush maybe. When I accepted the call, a shrieking girly voice welcomed me,

"Where were you!? You know for how long I have been calling you?"

The instant the familiar voice fell on my ears I recognized it, Jia Anderson, my school supposed best friend. After graduating from school, she continued with her studies in a different state but we still met, she was not much different from me, ignorant & foolish, maybe that's why we were best friends.

"Why aren't you saying anything!?"

"Yeah...I was busy."

"Busy with what? Your mother died a week ago -ahm- I mean yeah you must be busy! Even Lisa was asking about you! You know what? Even Noah asked how you were doing! Amazing, right!?"

I remained silent during her useless talks, not even minding her insensitive words. It was all my fault, they never saw me putting any value on my mother then why would they respect her. When I heard the name, Lisa, I once again wanted to smack myself for my terrible choices in even friends.

When I first transferred to an elite school, everyone looked down on me and they didn't refrain from reminding me that a poor class like me would never be a part of them. And my stupid self, on the other hand, did everything I could to be accepted in their groups, I struggled and begged to be a part of them. Eventually, I somehow got the attention of the Queen of our school with my desperate attempts, Lisa Delton. Young heiress of one of the leading Textile Industries, who later become a renowned fashion model and fashion designer, she took me and Jia under her wings. She was the queen and we were her loyal servants, ready at each command.

I realized way later that I was just the source of entertainment for her, seeing me embarrassing myself in public events gave her pleasure, the bigger the fool I made of myself, the better for her. In my last moments of desperation, despite the things she did, I even called her for help, and her answer was along the lines, 'That's where you belong, in the dirt.'

"Allea?"

"Hey! Are you even there? I said Lisa and Noah asked for you!"

Noah was probably some crush whom I can't even recall.

"Yeah..."

"Everything all right? You sound a little off today. Tell me when are you coming back to school?"

"I'm not."

"What!? Don't tell me they threw you out after your mother's death!"

"I will not be keeping any contact from now on. Live a good life & don't blindly follow what others tells you to."

I don't think I have any right to advise anyone anything. So, this was all I could tell her, she's probably too shocked by my sudden words that she didn't say anything for a few seconds. So, I cut the line without waiting for her reply, I turned the phone off and threw it in the deepest & darkest corner of my closet where I don't have to see it again. I couldn't bear to throw it, it has my back-up of pictures from the age of nine with my mother. Maybe someday, I'll have the courage to look at her face again but not now, I have to take one step at a time.

One another thing I'm terribly ashamed of is changing my name. After my biological father left, my mother changed my surname from his to hers, I became Allea Zinnia Ciarve -Zinnia Ciarve was my mother's first & middle name. When I became a part of the Allgaier family, I always wanted my surname to be the same but somehow something inside I stopped me from saying this at my mother's face and after her death, there was nothing to stop me. Using as an excuse to be better accepted in the company I convinced Jackson to help me change my name to Allgaier and I became Allea Allgaier.

It was the true begging of time when I forgot myself and became something I never was.

This time, I'm Allea Ciarve & I'm determined to find my true self and never be the same old-Allea again.