the girls all made it to work on time.

"where's krystal?" wheein asked when byul entered the room.

"we broke up," she shrugged.

yongsun whipped her head towards byul's direction.

"really?" hyejin asked.

she nodded as a response.

"unnie," wheein nudged yongsun a bit.

"doesn't change anything," she shrugged.

"are you serious? i broke up with her because i wanted to be with you and i didn't want to see you upset anymore," moonbyul raised her voice.

"i wasn't upset because you got with krystal, stop with your assumptions," yongsun crossed her arms, holding in her lies.

"then what was it, huh? give me some shitty excuse so i can go on with my day!" moonbyul exit the room.

she made her way to her studio and locked the door. she sat in her chair and tried her best to calm herself down.

"i did all this for you, kim yongson and this is what i get from you? forget this, i don't know how to feel about you anymore," she thought.

"unnie, we're not helping you this time, we've helped enough and it's time for you to fix your own problems," wheein and hwasa scooted farther from yongsun.

"i know, i'll be back," she stood up from her seat and searched through the building to find moonbyul.

*knock knock*

"byul-ah, are you in here?" she heard a familiar voice.

she unlocked the door to see yongsun waiting in front. as soon as she was about to close it, yong stopped it with her hand.

"byul, let me talk to you,"

"there's nothing to talk about," she repeated yong's words from yesterday.

"seriously?" yongsun scoffed.

"seriously." byul stated.

she pushed the door open and entered the studio. she closed the door behind her and locked it.

"byul,"

"don't call me that,"

"moonbyul," she cleared her throat.

"i was just messing with you back there, please don't be mad at me," yongsun finished.

"how can i believe you?" byul glared at her.

yong leaned down to moonbyul who was still sitting and set her lips on byul's.

i gasped at the sudden interaction. wait what? why wasn't yong in front of me? i swear she was just kissing me. i realized i was in my bed, it was all a dream. everything, even her liking me back. great.

i looked at the alarm clock beside me, 5:46 am. work starts at 8 so i tried my best to fall back asleep, hoping i'd continue my dream.

but i couldn't, i was wide awake now. maybe i can go early. i decided to take a shower and go ahead and go to work.

i woke up after the strangest dream i just experienced. i liked moonbyul and she liked me back. but i only see her as a best friend. the dream ended with us about to kiss. i'm so glad that ended, i don't even know if i can still think about her the same anymore, though. it just felt weird to think about.

i picked up my phone and saw it was 5:32 am. work doesn't start until another few hours so i tried my best to sleep. i couldn't. great.

i can just go to work early then. i took a quick shower then headed to work.

they both arrived to work at separate times but not too far off.

solar sat in the canteen and picked at her food, unappetizingly. the food there was great but she still felt weird of her dream and how she was gonna acknowledge byul today.

byul went upstairs to the rooftop where a whole hangout was displayed. comfy chairs, a fireplace, and neon lights. she sat in her chair and admired the beauty the sunrise brought in the morning. just like yongsun.

the sky tinted with purple, blue, white, and pink in a gradient color scheme. it was beautiful.

even though it made her smile, the depression still ate her up inside. slowly eating away all the happiness she had.

'the sun can shine without the moon'

all the moon did was light the darkness, but at times, it was engulfed in clouds, the clouds represented the depression the moon suffered. leaving the earth no light in the darkness but silence and pain.

the sun, it was capable of shining through a cloud, it was the brightest star of all. with or without the moon, it'd be perfectly fine. or so they thought.

"she'll never like me, why do i have to feel that way towards her?" byul mumbled to herself.

"maybe we can forget i ever existed and they can go on with their lives," byul stood up from her seat and looked over the ledge as the stood on it. speeding cars late for work already filling the highway early in the morning.

byul took a beer bottle from the small refrigerator placed by the chair she was sitting on and chugged it down. she went back to the ledge and dropped the empty glass bottle from the 12 story building, watching it shatter to pieces.

"the pain will go away as soon as i hit anyways," she thought. she spread her arms out, feeling the morning breeze push against them. it felt great.

just one step.

it only took one step.

a single step and everything would be better.

"moonbyul!" yongsun's voice rang through her head but it seemed it was just her mind playing tricks. she inched foreward over the ledge a little bit but was suddenly taken aback with a great force.

she fell on the concrete roof and scraped her elbow.

her mind wasn't playing any tricks, yongsun was there crying.

"what are you doing!" she yelled which startled moonbyul.

"i...i was just thinking," she stuttered.

"thinking about what!" yong continued to yell at her.

"nothing," moonbyul got back up and walked to the door to exit the roof.

"come back here!" yongsun chased after her.

the older member took the girl by her wrist and spun her around forcefully. but she instantly turned back and walked down the stairs.

"byul!" she was getting annoyed at how she was being disrespected by her close friend.

"what's wrong with you!" yongsun finally shouted, stopping byul in her tracks. those set of words made her feel more upset about living because she doesn't know what's wrong with her. she doesn't have an answer to reply with.

"everybody says people have a reason to live but i haven't found mine, i'm a mistake," byul erupted in anger then walked off to the bathroom.

yong's feet lost balance and she collapsed on the stairway, sitting on the a set of stairs as byul continued to walk down them.

hearing byul saying she was a mistake and not wanting to live stopped yong. her eyes still wide with shock, not knowing what to do. she sat there not thinking of anything but byul's words running through her mind, still processing what she said.

while she sit there, byul locked herself in a single bathroom stall and put the lid over the toilet and sat on it, pulling her knees to her chest.

she silently cried to herself, muffling her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt.

yong finally processed what was going on and got her shit together and went to find byul. the first place she checked was the bathroom.

"byul?" her voice echoed in the almost empty restroom. byul shut her eyes tightly and held her breath, hoping she wouldn't find her.

yong walked through the hall of stalls and leaned down to check for feet. she made it to byul's stall but was convinced she wasn't there.

"byul, where are you?" yong started to cry.

once she heard the door close byul set her feet down and quietly opened the stall. as she was about to exit the restroom, her phone started ringing loudly.

she quickly muted it and used the other exit of the bathroom.

when she was gone, yong was in the bathroom again, closely examining every stall.

she failed to find her member and called her phone.

but byul was long gone. she decided to disappear. she already contacted her manager about her mental health and he let her go for as long as she needs to be gone. he promised her he wouldn't say anything to the members.

he wouldn't make a public announcement either. he was the most trustworthy person in the whole world.

yong cried in the practice room for nearly 2 hours until the two younger girls arrived in a happy mood but was quickly changed to see their leader in tears.

i packed necessary stuff like clothes, shoes, anything that could benefit me.

i left my phone because that was the one thing that could ruin everything for me. i wrote on a piece of paper and left it on my neatly fixed bed. i also left my phone beside it, dead. i took my stuff and paid an uber to take me to the airport. i was gonna stay in jeju island for a while and just think about life and what to do with it.

once i got to the airport, i made sure to wear a cap and put my hood over my head with a mask covering my mouth.

i went to my designated seat of the air craft. "3 hours until we arrive at jeju island." the pilot announced through the speakers. i got my book out but slowly fell asleep.

where the fuck are you, byul?

the manager let us have this day off to find you but we can't find you anywhere. we went to the last place you'd be, at your apartment.

wheein and hwasa sat in the back as i drove to byul's apartment. once we arrived, we got out and rushed to your apartment but only to be disappointed.

we saw a small note on her bed with her phone beside it.

"it's time i go, i'll miss and love you all, i'll come back when i feel i can. promise me to take care of mamamoo for me. not for me, for all of us. tell the fans i miss and love them when you have the time. -yours truly, moon byul." in the corner had 4 digits. "2122"

"why the fuck would you do this, byul!" i dropped to my knees as i felt another wave of tears start to run down my cheeks.

"unnie we have to find her," hyejin's eyes were already filled with tears.

"we will, i promise we will," i nodded as i hugged the two tightly.

"she couldn't have gotten far, she still has to be in south korea," wheein informed us.

"don't worry, the fans will spot her somewhere, we just have to focus on work while we can but as soon as they've spotted her, we're going," i explained, they both agreed to my plan.

what's wrong, byul?

i shoved her phone in my pocket so i could check it to find any clues.

"you two just go ahead and rest, i'm gonna research," i told them.

they nodded and called an uber. i drove to my house and charged her phone. i waited for it to turn on and decided to enter the 4 numbers from the note. 2122. wait, 21 is my birthday day, 22 is byul's. february 21. december 22. why would it be like that?

successfully it unlocked. the first thing that popped up was her wallpaper. it's our group picture together, wind flower era. all her apps were deleted except for photos, notes, and safari.

i went to her photos first to check any clues. it was just filled with pictures of us as a group. i went to her notes and saw she made a little diary. respecting her privacy, i exit the app and went to safari.

she left open one tab.

"seoul to jeju island." it was a plane ticket! she must be in jeju!

then i went back to her notes to write something down. but something else caught my eye.

'I wish the person I love, Kim Yongsun, would just love me back more than we already are.'

i dropped the phone in shock.

so that's why she tried to stay away from me?

is that why she acted so different around me? is that why she would always stare at me when i'm not looking? byul, i'm so sorry i never noticed.

i felt a shiver go down my spine then my heart started to speed up.

i stopped for a moment for my heart to slow down then i took a deep breath and put my hand over my heart.

"moonbyul," i called out her name outloud and waited to see if my heart speed would increase. and sure enough it did.

"moonbyul," i said again and it was going faster. what the hell?

"moonbyul-yi," i felt like it was getting more difficult to breathe.

"byul-ah!" i shouted and my heart was going it's fastest.

"t-there's no way," i kept my hand over my heart and it was slowing down again.

once it was at a steady pace, i called out her name again.

"moonbyul-ah!" and it quickly increased its speed again.

i'm in love with moonbyul.