Angelica had no other thought for the rest of the week, no other thought that wasn't related to that night, that kiss. The guilt was churning inside her like butter, every time she faced Eliza. And every time she faced Alexander, she felt even worse. Like he would suddenly remember that night. That she kissed him. And then realise that she never told him, and possibly get angry.

Two weeks passed, and eventually the thought subsided from Angelica. From then on, she would only think about the kiss in longing, aching for once to be Eliza. Aching to have him to herself, to have him say he loved her.

That aching soon stopped, in the blink of an eye, really. But Angelica never imagined it to be stopped this way.

:::

Angelica slammed her locker shut struggling to carry her laptop while she was taking out her books and stationary. The noise of the High School hallway bled in around her, until it eventually distracted her and she felt the laptop slide from the crook of her elbow. She sucked in a breath—

Only for Alexander to appear out of nowhere and swoop in last second to save it.

Angelica swerved around in surprise, and then in thanks.

"Hey," she smiled. "Thanks for that. I owe you one." She took the laptop from his hands, and only then saw the look on his face. Her own face fell.

"You okay?" She asked. "You look..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," Alexander brushed it away, surprising Angelica. He was usually so smooth. "Can we talk somewhere private?"

Angelica paused, "Okay..."

And then he had grabbed her by the arm and led her down the hallways. Again, she was surprised by this. He looked shaken, and distracted, even. What could have happened?

And then she realised.

She didn't have time to think anything of it before she was dragged into an empty classroom and the door was shut. She whirled around to look at the closed door, and then at Alexander. Her pulse sped up like the thrumming of a horse's hooves.

Oh my god.

"Angelica," Alexander started. He was watching her, although now he was really inspecting her. Like he would catch any small movement, any twitching finger, and would be ready to accuse her of it.

Angelica stilled herself to as little movement as possible, although she felt she would pass out inside. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm...

"Did you do the Biology homework?"

There was a pause.

"What? Homework?" Angelica snapped. She was stunned momentarily by his question, having expected something from an entirely different topic of conversation. "No, of course not."

"She gave us two weeks. You should have done it in your room, the night of Eliza's party," and he smiled a mocking amused smile that had Angelica entirely puzzled.

"Is... that what you wanted to talk to me about?" She said, frowning.

"Partially. There's more."

Alexander took a large step forward, and suddenly he was close. So close their noses were grazing, just like that night of the party.

So close to kissing.

Angelica's breath caught in her throat and nearly choked her. She wanted to move away, take a step back, but she knew that if she reacted at all he would understand her. It would tell him something that he would never share with her.

"Alex," she whispered. His hand reached up and smoothed a lock of curly hair behind her ear. She felt the tickle of the touch and almost leapt back. "What the hell are you doing?"

He answered with his eyes. Just like how he had on the night of the party, with those starry mesmerising eyes, only this time they were sure. This time, Alexander had some mastermind plan hidden in there, ready to operate.

"We can't be in here—"

"Kiss me."

"What?" She said.

And then his lips were on hers and she could no longer protest. She tasted that same sweetness, only it was much stronger and surer now. Because now, he was sober. Now, the kiss actually meant something.

Alexander's hands broke free as he slowly moved her back against the wooden cabinets behind her and pressed her against them. He wrapped one hand around her lower back, the other securing and cradling her face against his, so that she had nowhere to run. But how could Angelica run away now? Her hands pulled him towards her and locked behind his neck. She lost herself in his hair and his kiss, and when she opened her eyes she was lost again into a galaxy of stars.

Alexander drew away ever so slowly. A soft, amused smile graced his lips.

"I knew it," he whispered. "You did kiss me that night."

Angelica felt the tears coming back.

"I'm sorry," she said, and her voice trembled. Her hands trembled as she slowly moved them away from his neck. "I'm so sorry."

Alexander frowned, "What? Sorry, why are you sorry?" He grabbed her hands and quickly brought them towards him again, gentle despite his words. "What the hell are you saying sorry for?"

"For kissing you, dammit!" Angelica was crying now, into his shoulder, the full package included with hoarse voice and clogged nose. "I'm the shittiest friend. And the shittiest sister."

Alexander let her sob for a moment. His hand moved up and started stroking her hair, evenly and rhythmically, which for some reason made it worse.

"Don't say sorry, Angie," Alexander said quietly. "Because I'm not sorry. If I remember correctly, it was a pretty fantastic kiss."

Angelica kind of laugh-cried at this, burying her face deeper into his collared shirt. Without knowing it, her fingers grasped onto him and dug in. Alexander winced, and only then did she realise.

"God," she sniffed, pulling her hands away. "I'm sorry."

"Angelica, I told you. Don't say sorry," and then he lowered his voice. "Just tell me why you did it. Why you kissed me."

"I don't know!" Angelica's voice ripped from her throat, like an angry growl. But at the end of it she was sobbing again. "I don't know, Alex. I just did, okay? I just wanted to."

She felt broken in every part of her. The tears came falling and rolling across her cheeks, like they carried the burdens of the world.

"Angelica," Alexander's hand ran reassuringly down the back of her head and neck. She closed her eyes against the feeling, and savoured being melted against him once more. She never thought she would have this again, but was grateful for it, even if this would be the last time.

"...I love you."

Something shot through Angelica. Her heartbeat stopped and sped up at the same time.

She leaned away, "What?"

Alexander was looking at her in a way she had never seen before. Or maybe, in a way she had never let herself acknowledge—

"I love you, Angie," Alexander said again.

"No. No," Angelica tried to step away but there were the wooden cabinets behind her, and Alexander's hands on either side of her. "You're drunk. You don't mean that."

"Angelica."

And then Alexander's hands were on either side of her face and he had drawn her in so that their faces were an inch apart. As if to prove that his eyes were alert and awake, and he was meaning every word he said.

"I said I love you."

"But what about Eliza?"

Lighter tears glazed over Angelica's eyes and blurred her vision, but she could see just enough to know Alexander's hands were caressing the back of her hair, like she was the most precious jewel in the world. Almost subconsciously.

"I don't know," Alexander whispered.

"You don't know?" Angelica cried.

And then the sound of the classroom door being thrown open snapped both of them to their senses. Laughter filled the room.

"Oh, mon ami..." Lafayette's voice rung around. "Mr. English will be here..."

His voice trailed off. Angelica looked to her right to find Lafayette and Hercules standing not two feet into the room, frozen in spot, mouths popped open.

"What the hell," Hercules whispered, eyes wider than saucers. "Holy shit..." he started to laugh again.

"Alex? Angelica?" Lafayette exclaimed, practically shouting. A string of French curse words tumbled out of his mouth as he sifted a hand back through his hair. "Mon ami! What ees happening!"

:::

They ended up forcing Hercules and Lafayette to swear they wouldn't tell Eliza.

"Eliza! Eliza ees Alex's girlfriend!" Lafayette exclaimed, still shaken by what he had just seen. "No secrets among friends!"

"Lafayette, please," Angelica said. She had wiped her tears away just moments ago, and now had to fight back the redness in her face. "You have to understand, it didn't mean anything."

"Oh, I bet it didn't," Hercules snickered.

"Shut up, Hercules," Angelica snapped. "Not a word, do you understand me?"

"Angelica," Alexander's toneless voice behind her made Angelica's tongue go numb. She turned around to find him looking at her, a grave expression on his face. "Guys, can you leave us alone for a moment?"

Lafayette's cheeks burst aflame, "ALONE! YOU GUYS LEFT ALONE! NO, CANNOT!"

But Hercules snatched him by the arm and dragged him out of the classroom before he could make anymore ruckus.

"We'll leave you to it," Hercules said, smiling devilishly, in which Angelica glowered foully at him until the door was shut.

The air grew silent as soon as they were alone.

"So," Alexander started. There was a bitter smile on his face. "It didn't mean anything, you say?"

"Alexander," Angelica closed her eyes. "Please, stop it. You know they can't know what happened. Or... how we feel about each other."

"So we're just going to pretend we don't feel the way we feel?"

"What else can we do? You're still with Eliza," Angelica pointed out, feeling depleted even as she said it. "...you are still with her, right?"

There was a still moment of silence. Alexander seemed to think it through, before finally letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know. Yes, officially," he muttered, frustrated. "I'm not saying I don't care about her. I'm just saying... I mean, I love you."

"So you've told Eliza? That you love her?" Angelica snapped. "What the hell, Alex."

"No, no. God, I'm not an idiot, Angie," Alexander laughed abruptly. It had a dry cut-out to it. "I didn't tell her anything."

"But you told me you loved me—"

"Yes, I know," his shoulders slumped suddenly. He raked a hand back through his hair, looking exhausted. "That's what complicates things. I was never even sure where my emotions stood with Eliza... and here I am, confessing my love for you."

Angelica understood. More silence passed between them.

"Well," Angelica said quietly. She folded her arms and allowed her fingers to bite into her own arms, numbing her enough not feel the pain of what she was about to say. "Whatever happens, Eliza needs you more than I do. She doesn't have a lot of friends, and she's never trusted her heart with any guy... apart from you." She swerved to look at Alexander, her eyes large. "Do you know how many boyfriends she's had before you? One. And he broke her f*cking heart the way you are NOT going to. She... she deserves you more than I."

"Angelica," Alexander said. "Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true," Angelica said, feeling the depth of her own words. "And until we decide on anything permanent, until you can sort out whatever with your own emotions... stay with Eliza," Angelica said, almost begged. "Don't let anything slip."

A look of lashed pain washed over Alexander's face. But he understood, she could see, why they had to keep things intact.

He nodded.