《Breathing ∞ Kol Mikaelson [1]》[59]
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Emma sat on the floor in front of her closet, her packing brought to a momentary stop as she pulled a particular box towards her. Once things between her and her mother got cleared up and all was out in the open, there was no more reason to continue hiding her father's belongings at Klaus' mansion. And Emma had brought them back home.
Looking at them now she didn't know what to think. When she found them, she was so eager to learn more about what had happened, to figure out what had been going through her father's head. But now... Emma had no idea how to handle all of this. She didn't want to leave, she didn't want to go. But that wasn't all.
A part of her wanted to hope. That maybe, since they ran, and since her mother last saw or heard from her father, perhaps he'd changed. Perhaps, while still a vampire, he'd turned his humanity back on, gone back to being her dad. The loving and caring father that she remembered.
But then, with a shake of her head, Emma reminded herself that was just wishful thinking that was of no use right now. She knew her mother had made sure she couldn't remember the bad memories of what her father had done. He tried to kill her even when his emotions were still there. He was far too gone when he was still human. She couldn't let the lack of memories blind her. She wouldn't. Whoever was here, it wasn't her father. No matter how much he looked like the man she remembered.
With a sigh, she stuffed some of the notebooks back in their place, grabbing the ducktape and closing it shut. She grabbed hold of the box and carried it out into the hall where some were already gathered. Moving so much, and the last time being so recently, it wasn't too hard to rush through the packing process again.
"Any plans yet?" Emma asked her mother as who had been gathering things off of the shelves in the living room. Not long after the locator spell was done, the mother had started to make phone calls to some people, claiming whoever she was calling had helped them before. Right now, Marissa was staring at her phone as the sound of a text came in making her grab it urgently.
"Nothing concrete. It'll take a couple of days for new papers to come through, that's certain. We'll leave and go somewhere to hide out as soon as we're packed here." Marissa explained, groaning as the phone died in her hands. With all the rushing, she'd completely ignored the low battery warnings.
"What's the surname this time?" Emma asked, somewhat jokingly. When she was younger, her mother had told her it was a game, just another way to reinvent themselves when they went to a new place. However, after Phoenix the name stopped changing as the need to move wasn't to run but instead to stay ahead.
"I don't know yet. Hopefully the next is less bland than the current." Marissa added on to the joke, making another laugh escape Emma.
"Maybe we can make an anagram of Broussard. Voldemort style." Emma suggested, referring to her mother's maiden name which had changed to Broussard-Warren after she married Emma's father and passed down the same hyphenated version to their daughter. "Or would that be too on the nose?"
"I'll see what I can do." Marissa agreed, even though they both knew it wouldn't be that. Emma wasn't sure who was in charge of coming up with the name or procuring the documents for their new identities. And while she had her suspicions, she didn't ask any questions. She'd ask them once they were settled in whatever was their next stop.
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"I'm gonna-" Emma was about to say she would return to her packing in her room when the sound of the doorbell cut her off. The sound made Marissa's face contort in a panic, and Emma's did too. But for a different reason. Only when she glanced at the big clock hanging off the wall did she remember what time it was.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. I forgot." She mumbled, sending her mother a reassuring look meaning there was no need to worry who was at the door. Emma was expecting someone.
Nonetheless, as she stepped up in front of it, she made sure to glance through the peep-hole to make sure her suspicions were confirmed before she actually opened it. And once she saw who was standing on the other side, Emma heaved a heavy sigh. All these weeks she'd been waiting for some kind of perfect moment. This was not it.
"Hey." She greeted him, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice as she opened the door to find his face spreading into a smile once he saw her. "I'm sorry for not showing up. I completely forgot." She quickly apologized, knowing she was supposed to be meeting Kol a little less than an hour ago.
"You forgot about me? I don't think that's possible." Kol said jokingly, not yet noticing the tense atmosphere hanging around her. But soon enough he did as she barely laughed at the comment. She always at least laughed, or even scolded or shot him down when he was being full of himself. "What's wrong, darling?" He asked, trying to glance past her into the house as if it would give him some answers.
"I, uh..." Emma searched for the right words.
"That's what happens when you don't tell people things." Her mother's voice, while trying to be low, still sounded from the living room, making Emma roll her eyes at the indirect 'I told you so'. Her mother was an expert at indirect 'I told you so's.
"You do realize I don't need vampire senses to hear you, right?" Emma called back, momentarily ignoring Kol's questioning look as he heart it too. As she continued, her tone turned scolding as well. "And even if I did, he actually has them."
"Sorry, I'll, uh, I'll go get started on the kitchen." Marissa appeared in the hall behind her with a guilty look on her face before moving on and leaving the living room for Emma and Kol.
"Come in." Emma turned back to Kol once her mother was gone, finally opening the door wide enough for him to not only see inside but also step through it. And he did just that, eyes glancing at the packed up boxes and the house which was clearly in the middle of a packing process.
"What's going on?" Kol questioned in a firm voice, eyes turning to Emma with a questioning look. He was aware that while she was still coming to peace with Emma's friend choices, Marissa had been considering moving them away, but he'd thought that passed by now.
Standing here now, Emma's mind ran through her memories of the time they'd spent together, coming up with a multitude of moments which could have been deemed the right time. Instead, she'd cornered herself into this one.
"I... I've been keeping some things from you." Emma revealed, knowing there was no more time to beat around the bush. They were leaving within a day or two, and she knew her mother wouldn't let her leave the protection of their house until it was absolutely necessary.
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"I know that much already." Kol stated, making her eyes widen in surprise as he took her hand, leading her into the living room on his own. Sitting down on the couch, he turned to face her, the look on his face questioning and ready for answers at the same time.
"You said nothing?" She couldn't help but ask. If he thought she was hiding things from him, why didn't he ask? She always confronted him when she caught him doing it.
"You're almost as trusting as a thousand year old vampire, darling." Kol pointed out in a sarcastic tone. He didn't push for her trust, not as long as he didn't think whatever she was hiding was something that would be against him or his family.
"I didn't hide this from you because of a lack of trust." Emma was quick to correct him, but that made Kol even more confused. And she could see it on his face. "I hid it because... Because I was selfish. Time with you is always happy, and light and this, well it would change that." She admitted.
"Emma, considering your smile is one of my favourite things, I can promise it will still be all those things." Kol said, and of course, the flattery made Emma's lips spread into an actual genuine smile. "And there it is again." He appreciated the sight, even if it did last just for a moment.
Kol hated the frown on her face, he hated the sadness he could see. But what he hated most of all was the way they all mixed with a tinge of fear that wouldn't leave her eyes. From the way she spoke and the way she never let go of his hand, he knew it wasn't fear of him. And somehow, that made him hate it even more. He was ready to learn what was going on so he could do whatever was necessary to get rid of that fear.
"Start from the beginning." He told her, noticing the way she kept opening and shutting her mouth, trying to come up with a way to say all that she needed to.
"How much do you know about Hurricane Katrina? It hit New Orleans in 2005?" Emma questioned, knowing that at the time he had been daggered. She wasn't sure how much of the history he'd caught up on by now.
"I know of it." Kol said with furrowed brows, wondering what that had to do with anything. Since New Orleans was the last place he'd been daggered in, it was one of the first places he'd searched about to gather how much things had changed throughout the century.
"I won't go into too much detail, but after it, I... I got sick." She told him, finally broaching the subject that was the catalyst for all this. That god damned doctor's appointment which changed all of their lives forever. "And there's no cure, not in human science. I was dying, and I still am." She breathed out, finally ripping the bandaid off.
She watched Kol's face shift, a multitude of emotions passing over it. He tried to mask them. By now Emma was good enough at reading him to still notice. She caught sight of the worry and panic, she noticed the way he looked at her, all of her, as if he'd be able to see what was wrong.
And lastly she noticed as his face took on a thoughtful look. She could guess what he was thinking, so before he spoke or asked any questions, Emma continued on with the story. "Because of that, my father turned to the supernatural to look for one."
Kol, of course, knew about the journals Emma had from her father, detailing all the things he'd learned about the magical things and creatures roaming around New Orleans. But knowing that a lot of the people within the city knew its secrets, he'd always prescribed it to human curiosity that came with knowledge. After all, he'd never read over them himself.
A part of him wished he had looked more, learned sooner. He had so many questions about what she'd just told him. She was sick. She was dying. And she'd kept it from him. A part of him was angry about him, but that anger was outweighed by worry over what it might be, by the fear at the thought of losing her. And all of that combined, just made him even more scared as he realized how horrifying the thought of it was. Like nothing he'd ever experienced. And that alone scared him as well.
"He lost himself trying to find something. And he did." Emma said, Kol's face perking up at that, latching on to the small sign of optimism. "Neither the witches nor the werewolves had a solution, but the vampires did."
"Vampire blood." Kol said in understanding, after all, it had been his first thought too. But then he thought to all the things he'd noticed about her. It wasn't hard to gather that whatever sickness she had, it would have to have something to do with her breathing. And he'd already learned that vampire blood wasn't enough to cure it. But he didn't say it, and listened to Emma as she spoke of the same thing.
"Yes, but it's not a permanent cure. Vampire blood would make me healthier for a time, and helped keep me alive, but sooner or later, my condition would return to the state in which it was before I got the blood." Emma said. She didn't bother using many medical terms or titles, knowing they would just confuse him.
"Would turning you work? If the blood helps, and then you die, your body stays as it was." Kol couldn't stop himself from asking. It was the next spot his mind went to, he couldn't stop it.
"Yes, and my dad realized it too." Emma said. Kol noticed as her voice strained, as she paused. It was clear that whatever came before wasn't the worst of what she had to say. And so he listened.
He listened as she told him that the only way for her to fully heal, for her disease to stop killing her, was to turn into a vampire. He listened about her mother's opposition to the idea and the way her father ignored it, turning himself into a vampire to take matters into his own hands.
And then, as she told him of the time he tried to kill her, he felt the rage start to bubble within him. And it didn't stop. It only grew as she told him of the lengths she and her mother had been going through to hide from the man who'd become intent on killing them, not to save Emma, but instead to free himself from his own guilt.
He did his best to keep his anger in control, letting the feeling of her hand in his remind him that she was there. And that she was safe. And Kol was determined to make sure she stayed that way. Right there, with him and free from any danger.
Once her story finished, Emma turned silent, waiting for him to say something, anything. The more time passed in silence, the more she worried about his reaction. As his eyes stared at their connected hands, she worried he might be mad at her, that he might let go at any moment and leave. Maybe it would be for the best if he did. Perhaps knowing he wanted nothing to do with her would make leaving Mystic Falls easier.
"Kol?" She whispered out his name. While she worried about what may come after the silence, it was too excruciating for her to let it go on. She just wanted to see his face and hear his voice, to know what he was feeling so she could brace herself for it.
And then the reaction came. Suddenly, she felt the warmth of his hands abandon her skin as he stood to his feet. His eyes didn't look at her as he started to make his way out of the room without a word. For a moment, she turned her head, watching him go, but as he stepped out of the living room and into the hall, Emma looked away.
It was her own fault, she knew that much. And while she deserved it for the lying and the hiding, she couldn't put herself through watching him leave. And so she didn't.
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