《Breathing ∞ Kol Mikaelson [1]》[32]
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Emma wasn't sure what she was expecting that morning. Her birthdays were usually a lighthearted and happy event, full of candy which was usually shared with children showing up at their door in their Halloween costumes. But today was different. When she and her mother finally sat down together in the living room for breakfast, she wasn't sure where to start or what to ask. It was ironic when you think about it. All this time she spent searching for answers to her questions, and yet now, when they were served up on a silver platter, Emma couldn't help but wonder if she truly wanted them.
"As promised, you can ask me whatever you want. I'll tell you everything." Marissa broke the uncomfortable silence as she made her promise. For as long as Emma could remember, even before everything changed, there was one rule in their family that they always stuck by and never broke. If you make a promise, then you keep it.
"When did you find out about vampires, and witches and all the other things?" Emma asked curiously, deciding to start out with something easy. Whatever the answer was, she knew she could take that one. It didn't really matter much in the grand scheme of things.
"I was born in New Orleans and lived in the French Quarter up until I was a teenager. It's a hard thing to ignore." Marissa admitted and while she didn't say it directly, it was clear what her words meant. She'd known about the supernatural world her whole life. "Your father found out shortly before we learned you were sick, during Katrina and its aftermath. A lot of the witches were using their magic to help rebuild the city, the vampires too."
Emma remembered that time, even though it was years ago. Seeing all the people in the streets, everyone helping and working together as they all united after the tragic hurricane hit them. She doubted she'd ever forget it.
"However, we didn't interact with that world much. Not until we needed their help." Marissa added on, Emma nodding her head in understanding. She knew what her mother meant by needing their help. They needed help for their sick and dying daughter.
"Did you search as much as dad did?" Emma couldn't help but ask. She had all of her father's research, everything he learned about all kinds of creatures roaming through New Orleans. She couldn't help but wonder whether her mother was the same way.
"Having grown up around the supernatural world, I was much more aware of its dark sides than your father. It made me more hesitant to get involved with it again." Marissa admitted, somewhat ashamed, obviously holding regrets about that choice now. Emma noticed it too. She wondered why, but instead of asking, she let her mother continue. She'd ask later if she didn't get the answer through the story.
"Your father took most of the work upon himself, and I took care of you. Took you to your appointments, made sure you were taking your medication, watched over you." Marissa said. The roles of her parents were quickly becoming clear. While her father searched for answers, her mother took care of Emma, making sure she wouldn't get worse before they actually had something.
"We asked the witches for help first, wanting to find the solution in something natural." Emma's brows furrowed a bit at that. She wasn't sure how exactly a witch could be better than a vampire or werewolf. But then again, the most experience Emma had with a witch was Esther, and that one seemed like a raging lunatic. But that's just one witch of many.
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"I know, some of dad's journals resemble grimoires more than anything else." Emma spoke for the first time in a while, remembering how many of the dad's initial journals focused on the witches the most. Which was surprising considering all of his records said they weren't too happy to give away information. "And when you didn't find something that the witches could do, you turned to vampires."
"Yes. Thanks to an old friend of mine, they were more than willing to help." Marissa said, for a moment, a small smile appearing on her face as she spoke about said friend.
"Marcel?" Emma wondered out loud.
For a moment, the smile wavered on Marissa's face as she heard her daughter say the name correctly. "You remember Marcel?" She asked her daughter curiously.
"No, I don't remember him to be exact." She answered. She remembered some of the things from that time, of course, but Emma didn't think she'd ever met the man in person. "But dad spoke about him a lot in the things he wrote. Most of the information he gathered was with Marcel's help." Emma explained, this time not catching on to the change in her mother as her mind thought back to everything she'd read about the New Orleans vampire.
"I met Marcel when I was a teenager. I got into... a little bit of trouble and he helped me out of it." Marissa explained shortly with a small chuckle, reminiscing on the friendship before getting back to the topic at hand. "But that's a story for another time."
"No, no, no." Emma stopped her for a second, a knowing smile spreading over her face. "Before you get back to it, I'd like to point out that you were friends with vampires when you were my age, but when I do it, it's a crime."
Marissa couldn't help but sigh at that. Yes, the way Emma put it did make her seem like quite the hypocrite. The mother could only hope her daughter would understand her wariness the further they got into the story of what exactly happened all those years ago. And what was still happening.
"Marcel was the one who helped us find a solution. He was the one who supplied the vampire blood we needed for your treatment. It wasn't a permanent solution, but it was working." Marissa brushed away her daughter's statement as she continued. At least until she was interrupted again.
"Why isn't it a permanent treatment? I thought vampire blood is supposed to cure human diseases and injuries?" While it wasn't a question quite as important to the story, it was still something Emma had been curious about for a while. She'd read a little about it in her father's journals, but with her mother being a nurse, surely, she'd be able to explain more.
"Yes, vampire blood can heal us. But what you have isn't an open wound, or an illness for which you need to get rid of a virus or bacteria. It's scarred and damaged tissue. Maybe if you'd received vampire blood as soon as it happened, things would be different. But by the time we started this treatment, it was too late. You'd receive blood and things would get better with time, but whatever damages were there would start to spread again." Marissa explained carefully.
Doctors had never really been able to tell what exactly caused Emma's disease. Only thing that was clear was that she'd been exposed to something during or shortly after Katrina that made her sick.
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"Ok, so you had a solution. It wasn't permanent, but it was working. What happened after that to change things so much?" Emma questioned, still unable to connect all the dots and pieces she had together. If the vampire blood was working, and obviously there was no shortage of it in New Orleans, why'd her father keep looking for solutions?
"I was fine with this way of doing things. Yes, you still had to take your medication and be careful, but it was making you better. I hoped that, maybe, with time it would even heal you fully." Marissa explained. "But your father wasn't happy with a solution for which we depended on someone else for the rest of your life. So he hoped to find something permanent, something that needed to be done once and you wouldn't have any further issues."
"Like turning me into a vampire." Emma spoke. It wasn't a question, but more of a statement as she finally understood why her father was so set on it.
"Yes, something I was highly against. And not just me. Marcel too, any vampire really. You were much too young." Marissa explained. "Marcel suggested waiting until you were older, when it could be your own choice, but Samuel was incessant."
Emma couldn't help but feel grateful for Marcel's refusal to help with her father's idea now. Not only because the idea of being permanently stuck as a twelve-year-old seemed absolutely terrible, but also because she'd been around vampires long enough now to know she didn't want to live a life like theirs. Stefan and his 'jonesing', as Damon liked to call it; the Mikaelsons and all their emotional trauma amassed through the centuries during which they were alive; remaining permanently the same while anyone human you love grew old and died. Emma wanted none of it, even if it did mean being rid of her disease.
"Are you sure you want to hear the rest, sweetheart? It's not a memory I wish for you to have of your father." Marissa asked after some time passed in silence while she let Emma wrap her mind around everything she'd been told so far. But the truth was, most of this Emma already knew. Only now she was able to connect it all together a bit better. What came next, that was the part which had been plaguing her mind with questions since the start of this whole thing. And so, she nodded her head, urging her mother to continue on.
And since she made a promise, Marissa continued on as her daughter wished. "Any vampire your father asked refused to turn you. So, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He took some of the blood meant for your treatment for himself. And then he... He died." Marissa couldn't bring herself to say the words 'he killed himself'. No matter how much time had passed and how much things have changed since then.
"He became a vampire so he could turn me." Emma finally realized. She remembered her father scribbling something along the lines of 'becoming one of them' when she first discovered the journals. Finally, it made sense. He decided to become a vampire. "But he didn't? You stopped him?"
"I remember it clear as day. The night before he got home so late, but when I asked him where he'd been he just said he was doing more research. I believed him, I wanted to believe he'd moved on from the vampire idea and was looking for something new. It was better than him still being stuck on it."
Emma listened to her mother tell the story, noticing how a new sadness entered her voice as she recalled the events of that day. The events which pushed them on this path and ultimately led all the way to Mystic Falls.
"I came home from work to find him feeding you blood. I saw what he was then. Realized what his plan was. I used vervain to subdue him before taking you and leaving the house. It was that night that I realized how far his obsession reached, and how we couldn't stay around it." Marissa explained.
Emma found herself frozen for a moment. Her father was about to kill her. He wanted to kill her. Yes, she'd have come back as a vampire, but how does someone even have the strength to do that. She didn't think she could ever kill someone she cared for, no matter how good it may be for them.
"Why do I remember none of this?" She then asked out loud. It seemed like something she'd definitely be able to remember.
"I didn't want you to remember." Marissa said honestly. She could have spun a story about Emma's mind suppressing the memory, but it wouldn't have been the truth. "After we left the house, I took you to Marcel. He helped us get out of New Orleans and find a new home, new names, a way to hide. He promised to take care of Samuel and then we could come back. But I knew you wouldn't just leave your father behind. You didn't understand what was going on, and you were too young to explain."
"You had Marcel compel me." Once again, Emma wasn't posing it as a question. It was clear from the way her mother spoke. A part of her was angry. Now it made sense why she remembered none of the things her father did, none of the witches or vampires she may have met during her parents search for a cure. Her mother made sure she couldn't.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it was for the best." Marissa tried to excuse her actions but thought better of it before she went on. It would only anger Emma more. She never really liked being controlled by others, and that's exactly what Marissa had done by taking away her memories. "While I still think that was the right choice at the time, I should have told you the truth sooner."
"It's... It's fine." Emma finally heaved a sigh. Yes, she was angry about it, but as she thought more, she could also see her mother's reasons. She was in danger, and Marissa's main goal was to get Emma to safety, as quickly as possible. She truly had done it to protect her. "But if my dad didn't just disappear as my memories make me think. What did happen to him? Is he dead? If Marcel took care of it, why did we never go back home?"
"Marcel did say he'd take care of your father, but by the time he got to it, Samuel was gone. You and I had to stay hidden for a little longer. I finally saw your father again three years later when he found us again." Marissa said.
"Did I see him?" Emma couldn't help but wonder. If she had, and if her mother decided to keep them away from her father again, she wouldn't be surprised to learn it was another memory that she'd been compelled to forget.
"No, luckily. A part of me wishes I hadn't either. In those years, he'd changed so much. At the start he was so focused on looking for us, on finding us, and turning you to save you." Marissa dived into the hardest part of the story. She wasn't sure what would happen when she revealed it to Emma. She could only hope her daughter wouldn't get ideas about looking for her father, and for that to happen, Emma needed to know what he'd become. "His obsession kept him focused on one single thing, and because of it, he never really learned how to adapt to his new life."
"He never learned control." Emma translated. She didn't want to think of her father like that, a merciless vampire who killed people without hesitation. But it was clear that's what her mother meant, that's what he became.
"After a while, the guilt over all the lives he'd taken became too much for Samuel. And he did the only thing he could think of. He turned it off." Marissa shared, making Emma's eyes widen in surprise. She knew enough about vampires turning their emotions off to know that it would also stop his worry for her and for her health. And yet he still found them again, continued his search until he had their location.
"Obsession is an odd thing. After he turned off his emotions, Samuel didn't care about saving you anymore. But part of it remained. The need to find you. The goal, however, had changed. You and I, we were the last things tying him and what he'd become, to his humanity."
"He couldn't handle it, could he? We could bring his emotions back, his guilt." Emma was doing her best to remain calm as the story became clearer and clearer. That's why they kept moving, why they kept running.
"He no longer wanted to turn you and save you. He just wanted us dead... and he still does."
-----
And now... You know... Hehehe!!!
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