Everlyn pov

I've been home for a week now. God is it good to be home, but I haven't been getting out of the house much. I drew, listened to music, wrote, read did everything I could think of to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have to go see Leah. on a normal summer we would be with each other everyday while my dad was at work, she has called and texted asking me to come over saying she could come over going as far as to say Seth wanted to see me.

which I know was not true, because if Seth wanted to see me. he would already be here. Seth doesn't have a shy bone in his body no filter, and it just made me feel worse about avoiding her. knowing that she thinks that if she just wants to see me it's not enough.

I hate that she feels she need to use Seth as an excuse. every time she asked me to come over I told her, oh I'm in the middle of this painting, or oh now? I can't I'm just writing this song, or Oh I can't I'm listening to this new album, oh I can't I'm reading this book, anything I can say to not see her.

And I feel like shit about it.

over the last week I figure out that I most definitely have a crush on her.

what am I supposed to do?

best case scenario I tell her that I like her

she says she likes me back

we date it's awesome

for a month and then I have to go back to Arizona.

it's not like I can tell my mom 'hey Mom, I have a girlfriend so I want to stay with Dad, ok great bye.' she doesn't even let me dress the way I want to because she thinks it's too gay even though I'm not gay.

ever since I told her I was bi everything changed between us.

before I told her she would at least try to hide the fact that she loved Bella more. but after, she did the bare minimum as a parent but apparently that bare minimums includes me being with Bella at all time I think she hopes that if I hang around someone as straight as Bella for long enough it will rub off on me and I just forget the fact that I'm also attracted to woman.

I was just going downstairs to grab something sweet, when someone knocked at the door. I went to open it but lookd at the peephole first if I don't dad has a fit saying,

' it's not save young lady, you are a young girl all alone in the house how will you protect you if it was an intruder ' to which I always reply 'intruders Don't knock dad.' As I looked through the peephole I froze no it's not an intruder to this day and intruders still don't knock .Rude.

it was Leah. Leah was right there outside the door. what the fuck am I supposed to do now?!

I stood there for a second and took a deep breath still not opening the door she knocked again "I saw the peephole move I know you're there Everlyn" Leah yelled,

she looks angry

I'm fucked

my sub side is showing

'I don't want her to be mad at me.' I whined in my head.

I still just stood there Frozen in place, 'I really need to stop not moving when I'm surprised, she's not a bear she won't go away if I don't move. do bears go away if you don't move?' I wondered. I should ask my dad later he will probably know, just to be safe.

There was another knock on the door this time louder. shit I almost forgot she was here "I Can literally See Your Shadow from under the door Eva I know you're standing right there, open the door." I heard Leah yell oh she's definitely angry I don't like when she's angry her brows go all weird and mad.

Okay Eva you're a big girl and it's just Leah, she doesn't know you have a crush on her so there's no need to be afraid just open the door and act normal cool normal just your best friend just Leah .

After my little pep talk I opened the door "hi Leah what's up bruh?"

'BRUH?! DID I REALLY JUST CALL LEAH MY CRUSH AND BEST FRIEND, BRUH?!' I screamed at myself in my head, God please make the Earth swallow me, I don't need air, I scoffed on the inside, I just need out of here.

Leah looks at me like she was trying to figure something out "you're avoiding me." she stated not asking simply making a statement. I was avoiding her and she knew it. yep I'm fucked.

"I- i umm I don't I'm um not sure what you're talkin about." I stuttered out, 'way to go Eva' I thought wanting to slap myself.

Leah took a step forward, towards me and into the house closing the door behind her "you're avoiding me, don't try to hide it Eva. I just want to know why." she kept stepping forward and I kept stepping backwards until my back was against the wall "we've been good friends for a very long time Everlyn won't you tell me what's wrong?" she put one of her hands on the well near my head and the other on my hair tacking a piece behind my ear.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck this has no place being this hot I should not be a little bit 'who the fuck am I kidding a little bit my ass' turned on by her leaning over me like this.

she's so tall why is everyone taller than me?

and why does that make her hotter?

"I...I nothing I've j..just been getting used to..." she took away her hand that was in my hair and I almost whined in disappointed until she put it back on my cheek stroking it gently which just made me blush harder then I already was.

"Keep going honey I'm listening." she said softly, oh my God I didn't know I could blush this hard my face probably looks like a combination between a tomato and a cherry I liked it when she called me honey I want her to do it again 'snap out of it Eva!' I scolded myself.

"W..well as I-i was saying I'm I've just been getting used to being back home that's it just being here at home getting used to it." I let it all out in one breath, while I was talking she didn't stop stroking my cheek for a second, I'm not sure whether it helped me calm down or made it worse.

"I see, well I was under the impression that a big part of being home is being with us but I guess I was wrong." she was saying it all so calmly, as if she knew something I didn't, it was making me confused and turning me on a little bit more. she's so calm and she's still stroking my cheek even after what she said, she hasn't moved still towering over me, I want to reach out and kiss her so bad.

"Y..you ar..e" I stuttered "I mean it wouldn't be home if if the people weren't here ,you know?, of course you guys are part of my home." nice safe dambass.

She was leaned even closer to me until I could feel her breath on my lips and asked again "then why are you avoiding me honey?"