《Dangerous Woman》Angry Birds
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“MISS RED!" Judge Peckinpah shouted, marching up to the young female. Even at his normal height, Red found him intimidating, especially with his cowboy hat. But much to her surprise, the judge removed his hat and gazed at Red sadly.
“What do we do now?"
Red was flabbergasted. “Wait, hold on, you're asking me?"
“You knew," the judge replied. “You tried to tell us, but we didn't listen... I didn't listen."
“Red, we need a leader," Stella said.
All the birds were looking at Red. They wanted her to guide them.
“Wait a minute, I'm not a leader," she said confused. She didn't know how to lead anyone! She was young, not very sociable, and a part of her just believed she was the last bird anyone should look up to.
Maybe I am insecure, Red thought, remembering Leonard's words.
With that, Chuck decided to take matters into his own hands.
“Okay. Pigs stole our kids, that sucks! Made all you guys look like idiots!" he announced. “You know what we got to do? We start replacing those kids!"
The birds didn't like the sound of that.
“Ladies get busy!" Chuck shouted. “We're gonna be layin' some eggs tonight!"
Chuck was about to grab Willow, a small turquoise pigeon wearing a striped hat, but Red stopped him.
“We're not going to replace those kids!" she assured the birds, scowling at Chuck. “We're going to get them back."
“How are we going to do that?" Matilda asked.
“What do you mean ‘how?' The pigs already showed us how," Red explained. She showed them a trail of debris that floated in the water. “That is where they went, so that is where we're going."
“But how do we get from here to there?" Judge Peckinpah asked. “I'm not aquatic in the least."
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“Well, you know... we're going to build our own boat," she replied. The birds began to get nervous. “They stole your kids. No, they stole our kids! I mean, who does that? Have you ever stolen anyone's children?!"
All of the birds shook their heads.
“And you know what?" Red continued. “I'm a little bit angry. Correction: I'm really angry! And I don't think I'm the only one. Come on, we're birds! We're descended from dinosaurs! We're not supposed to be nice, right?!"
Suddenly, a hatchling roared ferociously at Red! Then she returned to her cute self.
“Uh... yeah. Point... point made," said Red, nodding. “Who else here's angry?"
“I am!" Willow shouted.
“Yeah, you are!" Red shouted back. The birds were encouraged themselves. “We're getting our kids back. And I don't need any calm, detached, happy birds. Not gonna help us, don't need it. I need some Angry... flocking... Birds! You hear me?! Now who's angry?!"
All of the birds were getting excited. They were ready to unleash their anger and save their eggs.
“Let's go!"
The birds got to work without hesitation. Red oversaw the construction, while Chuck and Bomb helped build the boat with the rest of the birds.
“Bring me everything that floats," Red instructed her fellow birds. They gathered pieces of their destroyed houses and empty boxes of TNT to be used as parts for the boat. The pigs' slingshot was used as a mast and a bunch of the pigs' banners turned into sails.
“With every single feather of my being, I am not going to let any of these eggs be taken from their parents!" Red announced.
When the boat was finished, Red took a good look at it. It wasn't as big as the pigs' boat, but all that mattered was that everyone would fit on it.
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“It's darn good for a bunch of birds," she said, impressed.
Soon enough, the birds were sailing towards Piggy Island, ready to face whatever lied ahead...
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🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻
As the birds got closer to Piggy Island, a gray mist enveloped the boat. The world seemed to have lost its color.
“I feel a little nervous inside, but that's normal, right?" Bomb asked.
“Yeah... yeah, I think so," Red agreed.
Through the mist they could see the wreckage of many ships the pigs must have used while searching for Bird Island. They were all wrecked and looked like they had been abandoned for a long time. The birds had never seen such garbage. They liked to keep their beaches clean.
“Anybody else got butterflies in the stomach?" Bomb asked.
“Yeah," Chuck muttered. He held Red close to his body, but she didn't mind.
“Probably because you ate too many caterpillars," Red pointed out.
Soon enough, the boat reached the shore of Piggy Island. Red hopped of the raft looked at all the nervous birds. She knew it was time to get angry.
“Come on, let's go!" she shouted, taking charge. Red and the other birds ran up a hill, hoping they would find the pigs on the other side.
When they got to the top, they saw an enormous city below. The streets were filled with houses, stores, activity centers and food stands. The wobbly buildings looked like they could collapse at any minute, yet everything stayed upright. The entire city was surrounded by brick walls. The birds had never seen anything like it.
“I wasn't expecting this!" Stella whispered.
Red noticed a large building in the middle of the city. It looked like a castle. More importantly, there was an enormous poster of Leonard hanging by the balcony. The fancy outfit and eggs he was sitting on top of could only mean one thing...
“That guy's the king?!" she exclaimed in disbelief. “He's gotta have the eggs with him in the castle..."
“What the heck's a castle?!"
“... and that's where we're going."
“Hey guys," Matilda said, approaching Red, Chuck, and Bomb. “Do you remember everything you learned in my class?"
“Yup."
“Nope."
“What class?"
“Well, forget all of it for now," she told them, shaking her head. “Now, it's time to let loose!"
“Oh good, because I never learned anything anyway," Red admitted.
“Oh, me neither," Chuck agreed. “I actually just came to socialize."
“I came for the snacks," said Bomb. “You don't happen to have any now, do you?"
Matilda walked away from the group to take a few breaths.
“How are we going to get over those walls?" Stella asked.
Red realized that the pink bird made a good point. She thought for a minute, and got an idea.
“I'll tell you how," she answered. “We're gonna fly."
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CRYPTOGRAPHIA
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