《Dangerous Woman》Anger
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The following morning, Edward and Eva had Red sent to Bird Court. Ran by the honorable Judge Peckinpah, Bird Court sat in the middle of the village and it's where birds went when they had to settle a disagreement. Most of the time everyone agreed on everything, so going to court was pretty serious. And it made Red nervous. Especially since the judge wouldn't stop glaring at her.
"Your Honor," Eva explained, "our family has always practiced natural childhatch. The risks of having a scrambled infant are too great. There was going to be music, the nest was going to be full of beautiful, fresh cut flowers, and the first two faces he was going to see were the loving faces of his mother and his father..."
Eva began to cry and took the hatchling from her husband, who was just as upset.
"We can never get that moment back!" she sobbed.
Red felt terrible about what she had done and tried to make amends with the family.
"Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be the first face your baby saw," she explained. Edward and Eva just glared at her. "I mean, what are we talking about? He probably doesn't even remember me!"
The hatchling smiled at Red and shouted "Daddy!"
Red was both embarrassed and offended. But with her sloppy head feathers and tomboyish attitude, who could blame the kid?
"Ladies and gentleman, am I a passionate bird?" Red continued. "Yes. Guilty as can be. It was a quality cake. Look, I worked very hard to get it there, on time!" She pointed at Edward. "And he wouldn't even try it!"
Judge Peckinpah cleared his throat.
"Miss Red, we are a happy, happy bird community," he explained. "Under the protection of Mighty Eagle, we work, we play, we laugh, we love, and we live our lives free from conflict and strife!"
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"We love the sound of our own voice, too, evidently," Red muttered. If there was one thing Judge Peckinpah loved more than anything else, it was the sound of his own voice.
"So now, what am I to make of the likes of you?" he asked rhetorically. "There seems to be a recurring issue here: anger."
Red scoffed. "I don't think I have an anger issue, I think you got an anger issue."
The crowd gasped and Judge Peckinpah scowled at her.
"Anger is a weed growing in our garden," he continued, approaching Red. He towered over her by over two feet. "And what do you do when you find a weed?"
"I don't know, but I bet you're going to tell me," Red replied, not at all intimidated.
"You pluck it out!" the judge shouted. "Miss Red, when you moved your house outside of our village, did you notice that nobody tried to stop you? Birds, they may smile at you on the street, but that doesn't mean they like you."
You think I don't know that? Red thought. She was well aware that no one liked her. And the thought of it made her heart ache. But, as always, she covered it up with her anger.
"Hey, you know what? I've got a question for you," she said. "Are you aware that, that robe that your wearing isn't fooling anybody?"
Judge Peckinpah's eyes widened. He knew exactly what she was talking about.
"We all see you prancing along the street, Your Honor, and you're, what? And I'm just approximating here... like, an INCH TALL?!"
With that, she pulled off the robe and revealed to everyone that the judge was much shorter than he appeared and this whole time, he was standing on top of another bird named Cyrus. Cyrus sneezed and Peckinpah fell on the floor. The crowd gasped.
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This was the last straw.
"Miss Red, given the severity of the crimes, I have no choice but to impose the maximum penalty allowed by the law: anger management class!"
The crowd gasped again. Red just groaned.
"Pluck my life."
🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻
As she left Bird Court, Red felt angrier than ever. Anger management! Of all the possible punishments, why anger management?! She knew nothing about what happened in those classes, but it had to be ridiculous.
As Red stormed off, she passed by Early Bird's Worms.
"Fresh worms, caught today!" the Early Bird announced before noticing Red. "Hey Red! How are you?"
"Oh, I'm horrible!" Red replied in a "happy" voice.
"Oh, hi Red!" greeted Stella, a young pink bird who's always cheerful. "It's good to see you!"
"I wish I could say the same!" Red scoffed, and continued on her way.
Everywhere she went, Red saw nothing but happy birds. She looked inside a daycare center filled with eggs. A teacher was reading them a story about Mighty Eagle, the birds' hero and protector. Many years ago, he saved the birds from an unknown foe and became legendary. Mighty Eagle is said to be the only bird who can fly. No one's seen him in years, but everyone still loved him. But to Red, reading a story about him to a bunch of eggs seemed a little extreme.
"Hi Red!" a yellow bird greeted, holding her egg. "Is one of those yours?"
"Yeah, when birds fly," Red scoffed, and continued on her way.
Soon enough, she made it to where the classes were held. It was a beautiful house decorated with flowers and wind chimes. Right by the steps was some strange-looking dummy that held several signs reading Welcome Angry Birds! Be Happy! Smile! It was supposed to look like a bird, but Red just thought it looked ridiculous. It wouldn't stop squawking and it annoyed her. The more it squawked, the angrier she got. Fortunately, she managed to stay calm.
Up to a point.
"You think that's funny, huh?!" Red growled, beating up the dummy. After nearly wrecking it, she put it back and heard someone gasp. A mother bird and her son saw the whole thing.
"Don't look Bobby!" she softly exclaimed, pulling him away. "The anger might be contagious!"
"He started it!" said Red. She put the sign that read Smile! back on the dummy and gave it a smug grin.
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