《More Angry Birds One Shots》You Can Count On Christmas
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Harmony snuck out of bed at 10:23. She was just too excited to sleep. She ran to the main hall and marveled at the sight of the beautiful tree decorated with lights, tinsel, and sparkly ornaments. Wiping her snout with her tiny red wing, Harmony approached the tree and reached for the branches. Unfortunately, an ornament fell off and shattered as it hit the floor. Harmony squealed a little and stumbled backwards.
“Oops," she muttered.
“Harmony, was that you?" a familiar voice called out. Harmony noticed her mother heading into the room. “You know you're not supposed to be up past 8:30."
“You know I can't tell time," Harmony pointed out.
“Don't sass me, little lady," Red said, feeling annoyed. Harmony's brown eyes widened as tears threatened to fall. “Oh, I can't stay angry at you."
“Is Papa awake, too?"
“No, he can sleep through anything," Red laughed, scooping her daughter up into her arms. “Let's get you back to bed."
Harmony wasn't even four yet, and she was already full of curiosity. It was one of many things she got from her mother, despite the fact she looked more like a pig than a bird.
“Mama, when you were little, did you get as excited about Christmas as much as I do?" she asked in a whisper, not wanting to wake her fluffier sister, Cassandra.
“Believe it or not, it wasn't until after I met your papa when birds started celebrating Christmas," Red answered as she tucked her daughter in bed.
“Shut up!"
“Harmony..." Red scolded.
“Sorry."
Red smiled and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, there was a time when no one had even heard of Christmas on Bird Island."
“Could you tell me about it? Pretty please?" Harmony begged her mother.
“If it'll get you to go to sleep."
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Red was just sunbathing on the beaches of Bird Island when she noticed a giant cargo ship headed for Piggy Island.
“What's in there?" she said to herself. Curious, Red launched herself off a slingshot, flew across the ocean and landed on Piggy Island just as the ship docked. Each of the pigs were pulling an odd-looking tree off the ship and dragged them into the city. Red noticed Courtney struggling with hers, however.
“Need some help?" Red offered.
“Thanks, I need to get this thing to my house," Courtney answered, and continued pulling on the tree. Red grabbed it and helped her carry it from the harbor to Courtney's suite in the castle.
“What's with all these trees, anyway?" Red asked as they got it to stand up in Courtney's living room.
“They only grow on Eagle Island," Courtney explained, “but we thought they'd look better than the Christmas trees we already have."
Red was confused. “What kind of trees?"
Courtney gasped. “You've never heard of Christmas?!"
“Is she one of your Faceboar friends?"
Flabbergasted, Courtney made a gesture of her head exploding. “I can't believe you've never heard of Christmas, it's the best time of the year!"
“If it's so great, then tell me about it," Red suggested.
As Red helped decorate the tree, Courtney wove a magical tale of gumdrops and pennywhistles. She told of toy-making elves and flying reindeer. The more Red heard, however, the higher she raised her thick eyebrow.
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When Red returned to Bird Island later that afternoon, she couldn't help telling her fellow birds about everything Courtney said.
“... and for some reason, everyone pretends to like the fruitcake. I mean, it's fruit and cake, how bad can it be?" she explained to Chuck, Bomb, Silver and some hatchlings. “But the weirdest part is kids write letters to this guy, Santa Claus, telling him what they want, and when he comes, he gives it to them."
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“Just like a genie!" Bomb laughed.
“It sounds great!" Sam-Sam said.
“It sounds weird," Chuck argued.
“Sounds like something we should have around here. In fact, why don't we?" Silver suggested.
“I don't know, Silver," Red replied. “I mean, it's not our holiday, and we'll have to see if it's okay with both the pigs and birds."
“Come on, Red. Please?" she begged. Red found herself giving in.
“Fine, I'll go back and ask Leonard."
“I'm coming, too!" Silver said, grabbing Red's wing and taking her to the nearest slingshot. “This is gonna be fun!"
“What's so fun about a jolly prowler who breaks into your home and leaves stuff for your kids?" Chuck asked skeptically.
“Like a genie!" Bomb added.
“What if I meet him in person, to see if he's that bad?" Zoe suggested.
“You heard what Red said, kid, no one's ever seen him," Chuck explained. “He lives far away, too far for any bird or pig to go see him."
“We can still write letters to him, so he'll come," Vivi pointed out.
Zoe gasped. “Let's do it!"
“Yay!" Sam-Sam cheered.
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Once Red and Silver got to Leonard's castle, Red was immediately beginning to feel doubt.
“You know what?" she said. “This is a bad idea, I'm going home."
Silver ignored her and knocked on the door. Red groaned in frustration as Courtney, wearing an elf hat, answered it.
“Hey, guys!" she said happily.
“WHO IS IT?" Leonard shouted from inside.
“It's us, Silver and Red!" Silver answered, then turned to Courtney. “Nice hat."
“Leonard made me wear it," she pointed out.
“Hello, ladies," Leonard greeted, wearing a santa hat. “What are you doing here?"
“Really? You're asking me?" Red said as they went inside.
“Courtney told Red about Christmas, Red told us, so I thought we should bring Christmas to Bird Island," Silver said. “We just wanna know if it's okay with you."
“Do the rest of the birds want to celebrate it?" Leonard asked.
“Well, Chuck's not that into it, but Bomb and the hatchlings seem to like it," Red replied. “They're probably telling everyone else about it now."
“I don't see why you can't celebrate Christmas," Leonard said. “It's not like we own it. You can't own a holiday."
“So... it's okay?" Red asked nervously.
Leonard embraced her and said, “Red, there's nothing in the world I wouldn't let you have... except an affair."
Red blushed as he kissed her forehead. “Leonard, not in front of the other girls..."
“It's okay, we were just leaving," Courtney assured them, and left the room.
“I'll go spread the word!" Silver called out as she ran out the door.
“You may continue," Red said flirtatiously, and Leonard carried her to the nearest empty room.
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“If we can't go to Santa, he'll have to come to us!" Zoe declared. “We just have to write letters to him, and when he comes, we can catch him!"
“I don't know about you guys, but anyone who gives me presents is a friend of mine!" Jay told his brothers, who nodded in agreement. The rest of the hatchlings cheered.
“That's the spirit!" Zoe said happily. “Let's get writing!"
With that, all the hatchlings began writing their letters. Sam-Sam kept ripping her paper, though. Zoe was determined to catch Santa so she'd meet him, so she wrote something he couldn't refuse.
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Dear Santa,
My one true wish is for you to bring Christmas to Bird Island
Love, Zoe XO
P.S. A teddy bear wouldn't hurt, either
With that, Zoe folded up her paper into an airplane, and threw it in the direction the wind was blowing.
“Santa! Yay!" Sam-Sam cheered, but when nothing happened, her face fell. “Where's Santa?"
“He doesn't come until Christmas Eve," Vivi explained. “Here's my letter!"
“What did you wish for?"
“A baby brother," Vivi answered. Zoe folded up the letter and threw it in the air.
“What did you wish for, Sam-Sam?" Zoe asked.
Sam-Sam held up two halves of a ripped-up letter and said, “Another piece of paper."
“What about you, Jay?"
“A pony... with saddle bags full of chocolate!"
“I want a talking doll!" Beatrice said.
“I could use a sparkly, pink hat!" Lily said.
Zoe took all the letters, folded them into paper airplanes, and the north wind blew them far away.
“What's your wish, baby sisters?" Zoe asked the three tiny hatchlings, Jenny, Bailey, and Eloise. They just babbled and giggled. “Gee, maybe Santa will bring me a translator so I can understand what you just said. Now that we got Santa's attention, I can start working on a trap for him in my house."
“Can we help?" Sam-Sam asked. Vivi gave a thumbs up.
“Sure, I could use extra wings," Zoe replied, and turned to the rest of the hatchlings. “Okay, everyone! We've got a lot to do now that we've summoned Santa Claus! We must get ready for his arrival!"
“Hooray!"
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Silver and Garry created machines that made foamy artificial snow (and it was cherry flavored). It didn't cover the birds' entire village, but enough for the hatchlings to play in. Everyone got trees from Eagle Island, and decorated them with flowers, fruits, and some coconuts painted all kinds of colors. Houses all over the village were covered in bright lights. Even Chuck was getting into the holiday spirit! A massive evergreen tree was placed at the center of the village and covered in sparkling lights and ornaments. It was missing one thing.
“Oh, Hank!" Debbie cooed, holding up a star. Hank grabbed it with his talons, flew up to the top of the tree, and hung the star on the highest bough.
“Christmas Eve sure came quickly," Red said, sitting on a bench. While rubbing the sweat off her forehead, she failed to notice Mighty Eagle approaching her and placing his large wing on the top of her head.
“You've done something good here, young lady," he said, surprising her. “Bringing joy to all your fellow birds."
“Yeah, Merry Christmas to you, too, Mighty Eagle," Red replied flatly. “Do you have anything special planned with Zeta and Debbie?"
“Well, for one thing, I would like to make up for when I messed up my first Christmas with Zeta."
Red knew she'd regret, but asked him anyway. “What did you do?"
“It's really what I didn't do," he replied. “I wrote a song for her, but never had the courage to show it to her. I know, all this fear inside me, too hard for you to believe."
Red just rolled her tawny eyes. “So you're going to sing it to her this time?"
“Even better: I'm going to write a new song. Something that will surpass the original. I doubt the old song aged well, especially after over twenty years."
“You forgot the lyrics," Red predicted. He nodded. “Well, you better hurry up, Christmas is tomorrow, and there's that party at Piggy Island tonight."
“Oh, you're right!" Mighty Eagle said. “I gotta go!"
As Mighty Eagle flew off, Red noticed he accidentally dropped some papers. She picked them up and began reading.
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“You sure this is gonna work, Zoe?" Vivi asked nervously.
“Positive!" she reassured her friend. “He's gonna go to the coffee table, grab the cookie with the string on it, and once it's pulled, the net will drop right on top of him!"
“Why would he wanna grab the cookie?" Sam-Sam asked.
“Too eat it, of course," Zoe answered. “Fat guys get hungry."
“Well, good luck tonight," Sam-Sam said as she and Vivi headed for the door.
“Wait, you guys aren't gonna help me catch him?" Zoe said, about to cry.
“Sorry, Zoe," Vivi apologized, “but Santa comes at midnight, and we go to bed at 7:30."
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“Red! Red, guess what!"
“What, Debbie?" Red asked as she finished reading the paper.
“My dad has something special planned for my mom tonight at the party!" Debbie answered excitedly. “He talked to Leonard, it's all been arranged!"
“That sounds exciting," Red said, putting the paper down. “Did he seem nervous when he said it, though?"
“Well, maybe a little bit, but Zeta sure was happy," Debbie replied. “What do you have there?"
Red picked the paper back up and looked at it again. “What I have here... hopefully, won't be necessary. But if it is, I'm gonna need your help."
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While her parents were getting ready to go out, Zoe added the finishing touches to her Santa trap. She would stay up all night, hide behind the couch and wait until she caught the big man. Once he was, she would get to know him and see if he was a nice guy or just a trespasser.
“Zoe, we're leaving now!" Matilda called out. “Come say goodbye to Mommy and Daddy."
Zoe ran out of the living room and to the door to hug her parents.
“The babysitter will be here in about two minutes, and we'll be home by the time you should be in bed," Matilda explained as she gave her daughter a hug.
“Okay, Mommy," Zoe said, hugging Terence. “Bye, Daddy."
Once her parents were out the door, Zoe heard an alarm go off. Santa was here! She dashed down the hall and into the living room, and saw... her three baby sisters under the net. Eloise held the cookie with the string on it. Surprised by the net and barely able to move, the three hatchlings began crying. Zoe began to regret setting the Santa trap. She lifted the net, freed her sisters, took the string off the cookie, and gave two more to Jenny and Bailey.
“I'm sorry, baby sisters," Zoe said, hugging them. “I guess I forgot the whole point of Christmas. It's not about trapping Santa in a giant net. It's about being with those you love, and giving to others."
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On Piggy Island, Mighty Eagle was extremely nervous. He couldn't come up with anything! How do you write a love song for the woman you left at the altar twenty years ago? Sure, they were married now, but it was still hard to make up for.
“Red, girl, I think we're losing him," Debbie warned.
Red groaned. “I can't believe I'm about to do this. Let's go with the backup plan."
Silver, meanwhile, was spreading holiday cheer her own way... without much success.
“Hey, guys, try this tasty drink I made for the holiday," she said excitedly. “I call it Coco-Nog!"
“Coco-what?" Courtney questioned as Silver held a tray of mugs filled with thick, chartreuse liquid topped with some kind of foam.
“My own recipe," Silver explained. “There's coconut milk, heavy cream, birdseed, syrup, blue cheese, and cabbage."
“Yeah, I'm not drinking that," Leonard objected.
“I'd love a mug, sis," Chuck said, taking a sip. He resisted the urge to spit it out and forced himself to swallow it. “Ugh, you can really taste the cabbage."
“Oh, yum! Whatcha got there, Silver?!" Bomb said excitedly as he ran up to the group.
“It's my new holiday drink!" Silver answered, not noticing Chuck shaking his head. “Wanna try some?"
“Oh, what do you know?" Bomb replied nervously. “I have somehow, suddenly changed my mind..."
“Too bad, you don't know what you're missing," Silver said, oblivious. “I bet Red will love this. Wait, where is Red?"
“Are you crying?" Courtney asked Chuck, who began to gag with teary eyes.
Red and Debbie set up a video projector and screen and asked a DJ to play different music once the lights were off.
“Okay, Debbie, kill the lights!" Red whispered, and Debbie turned them off.
Everyone noticed the lights go out and some sort of home movie began playing on a screen as a simple but sweet tune played. Zeta's eyes widened as she saw videos of her and Mighty Eagle celebrating Christmas when they were teenagers. Silver eyed the bird who nervously began singing onstage. Once she recognized who it was, she dropped her tray.
“Hey, is that Red up there?" Courtney wondered. The rest of the group stared in shock.
“Happy holidays, Zeta," Mighty Eagle said. Her only response was slamming her beak against his. Debbie ran up to her parents and hugged them.
When Red finished singing, she smiled at the eagles and got off the stage.
“That was a nice thing you did for them, Red," Leonard said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“I gotta admit, it felt pretty good," Red said, holding up a framed photo of herself and Leonard the day she forgave him. “Here, I made this for you. Well, actually, I just made the frame, Courtney took that picture of us..."
“Red, it's beautiful," Leonard assured her. To anyone else, the frame was poorly made, but not to him. “I got you something, too."
Leonard gave Red a small box wrapped in red paper with gold ribbon on it. She opened it up and inside was a silver necklace with emeralds on a pendent.
“I love it, thank you," she replied, kissing his cheek as Silver and Courtney ran up to her.
“Red, you never told us you could sing!" Silver exclaimed.
“I never told anyone," Red pointed out. “Now, let's never speak of it again."
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On Christmas morning, Zoe and her sisters ran into the living room to open their presents. Jenny got a toy caterpillar, Bailey got a rocking horse, and Eloise got a chef's hat (that was way too big for her). Zoe decided to open her present last. Just like she asked, she got a teddy bear... and a paper airplane that came with it. She opened it up and read the message inside.
Dear Zoe,
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