I slip into auto-pilot for the remainder of the day, trying to form some sort of an escape plan that doesn't end up with the three of us dead. Our best option is to try at night, when most of the park will be empty. Reece will come in to check on me as usual and I'll take that gun right off his belt, using it against him before grabbing his key card and breaking out the others.

Even as I think it, I know it sounds farfetched, but I clutch to the idea anyway, knowing it is the only thing stopping me from falling apart.

At one P.M, we perform the Dining Experience as usual. It feels strange performing the routine without Crystal and Alison. It is as though two holes have been carved in my chest, and it takes all of my strength to concentrate on the routine and not on how much I miss them.

The sun continues to beat down relentlessly, its rays unavoidable. Though our skin is thicker, more resistant than the average human, by the end of the performance, my arms have started to prickle from the heat.

After the show, I swim into the main enclosure and up to the viewing tunnel, studying the faces pressed against the aquarium glass. Staring at these guests before me, I can't quite believe they're only able to find happiness in our world. I can't believe that the world out there is any worse than my world in here, and even if it is, it doesn't matter. Even if the world out there is just as bleak, just as miserable, we still have to leave this place.

We still have to try.

At some point, I head up to the surface to use the plunge pool and spot Asia perched against one of the rocks, staring into the distance. I swim right up to her before nodding my head at the pale, dark-haired woman in the window.

"Her name's Julia," I say through the side of my mouth. "She's secretly an evil sourcerer here to find the perfect companion to help her with her spells. I reckon she'll pick Jewel."

Jewel breaks the surface in an instant, her green, cat-like eyes burning holes through my face, though she can't hide the smile on her lips. "Why are your predictions always about magic?" she asks, folding her arms, "and why am I always being roped in to doing something evil?"

I shoot her a wicked smile in response. "Fine, I'll play the boring way. She's an Aries who likes to read on the weekends and her favorite season is winter."

Jewel rolls her eyes before making her way to the window. I watch for a moment as she smiles and twirls, desperate for the attention.

"Sometimes I think she actually enjoys it," I say to Asia. It seems impossible to believe, but there is no other explanation as to why she works so hard for their admiration.

When Asia doesn't answer, I turn to find her staring into the distance. "Do you think he would have still liked me?" she asks. "If I wasn't a mermaid, I mean?"

"Who?"

"Tom," she says, turning to face me. "Remember?"

"Oh," I say. "Why wouldn't he?"

Asia shakes her head with an air of exasperation, as if I am missing something. "That's what makes us so unique, isn't it?" she asks. "Our tails. Our abilities. If we didn't have them, would anyone even look twice?"

When I search her face, there is an expression I have never seen her wear before. A mixture of confusion, and longing, and a hint of fear all at once. It is a feeling I know all too well.

"You're more than just a tail," I remind her.

"Am I?"

A strange silence passes between us. She needs something more from me, some kind of reassurance, but I don't know what to say to make her feel better, and so I don't say anything.

Later on, when I enter the Experience room for my one-on-one experience, I spot the same little bird perched on one of the palm leaves, tweeting away.

Intrigued, I rest my arms against the ledge of the pool and take a closer look. I think about trying to catch it somehow, wanting to take it back into my night enclosure. It would be nice having a companion in Crystal's absence, something to talk to when I'm feeling alone. But then it hops to another palm leaf before flying away, and I feel guilty for even thinking it.

I get a small boy for my experience this afternoon, who beams with joy as soon as he sees my face. If I were a selfless mermaid, the way Marine World wants me to be, his happiness would be enough. Knowing that I am making a difference in somebody's life would be enough. But I am not a selfless mermaid, and a part of me resents having to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of theirs.

In the evening, after running on the treadmill, I lie on top of the covers of my bed, staring at the wooden base of the bunk above. I try to convince myself Crystal is sleeping soundly above me, but it's no use. Crystal's breathing was always soft, fluttery, and through the silence I'd be able to hear it, a reminder I was never alone.

Giving up on trying to sleep, I make my way out of the bedroom and to the edge of the pool, peering at the water below. Moonlight pools in from the night enclosure window, casting a perfect white slither across the water's surface. I slip off my nightgown, allowing it to pool at my feet before I descend the steps.

Only once I am sat below the water does it feel like I can breathe again. In the dark is when I finally know peace; I am not being watched. Gazed upon. Studied. I simply linger in the balance, free to be whatever–whoever–I please.

With my eyes closed, I allow my thoughts to wander. I've been on the fence since Crystal's breakdown, allowing my fear to convince me that the outside world is too cruel to bare, but Alison didn't seem miserable when she spoke of her life outside of Marine World. I never once saw the darkness take her the way it does us, because maybe it couldn't. Maybe she had too much light.

I swim the length of the pool for a while, kicking my legs out behind me. It feels strange to think I'll one day lose the ability to control them. That the things I rely on so much to survive will suddenly turn their back on me. It makes the prospect of escaping seem all the more improbable–if Marine World's our only chance at a cure, is it really so wise that we leave?

I continue with my laps, swimming as fast as I can from one side of the pool to the other. The water feels exactly how I imagine freedom to be; warm, effortless, chaotic in its ripples and bottomless pits, but a beautiful chaos–one worth fighting for.

I hold my breath beyond my limit, waiting until my lungs are clawing for air before I break the surface to find a dark figure standing in the shadows.

How long has Reece been standing there? And why is he looking at me like that, like the way the guests look at us? Like I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen?

"What are you doing?" his deep voice rings out, and even though only my shoulders are visible, I feel exposed beneath his cool gaze. "I couldn't sleep."

Sympathy flashes across his features before quickly disappearing. "Try."

I clench my jaw, his emotionless response only strengthening my desire to run. "Fine," I say, my cheeks burning slightly. "Can you pass me a towel, please?"

He heads into the bedroom, grabbing a towel before holding it out like a wall between us. I glance over to make sure he's not peeking, but his eyes stay fixed on a spot on the wall, refusing to look at me.

Slowly, I make my way up the steps of the pool, walking into the towel. If this were Jackson, his eyes would already be skimming my body, trying to catch fragments of skin under the moonlight, but not Reece.

Once my chest is to the towel, Reece wraps the two ends around my body and my hand snakes around my back, clasping the two ends together. For a moment, we look at each other, me craning my neck because he stands a whole three heads taller than me and him looking down with an expression I can't quite understand.

The last time we were this close was when he was carrying me in his arms. His proximity does something to my insides, causes my stomach to flutter like the butterflies I sometimes see flying through the main enclosure.

"What?" Reece mutters.

I continue to stare at him, his eyes reminding me of the pool early in the morning, once the sun's rays have turned the water an almost colorless blue. Guilt stirs in my stomach at knowing what I must do to him, but I try to convince myself he deserves it. He might be kinder than the likes of Jackson or Rob, but he is still helping to keep us here.

"Nothing," I say, unable to tear my eyes away. I have no idea why I feel this way all of a sudden, why I am overcome with such a need to be comforted, and by him of all people. "I'm just trying to figure you out."

"And your conclusion so far?" he asks.

There are times in my life when a lie is not enough. When I have to say what's on my mind or else risk losing myself to this person I'm pretending to be. This is one of them.

"That you care," I say slowly, my eyes meeting his. "Just not enough." With that, I walk into the bedroom and close the bedroom door, leaving him standing in the dark.