I don't know if I am feeling sluggish because of the minimum sleep I got or if it's because I dreadfully hate meetings. Anyways for the most part the tea is a warming sensation in my hand causing my eyelids to flutter awake. I'm wearing a black blazer over my upalad beige suit dress and court shoes. It's a wonder as to how I was able to dress myself this morning. I am overwhelmed with feelings, thoughts, numbers, spreadsheets, calendars, emails, and .

"Good morning, Ellie." Mr. Vasquez is in a chirpy mood this morning. Overnight must have brought him some multitude of happiness in the form of business or pleasure. I wasn't willing to ask him about his personal life though.

"Good morning, Mr. Vasquez," I stand up to present myself. "Here is the layout on the current conditions if you will that St. Ethel's Clinic is willing to agree upon as long as the site is up and running by May. It will give us enough time to design, redesign, and go over some of the more technical side of things with Mr. Hale." Just as I finish Mr. Hale and his secretary Caroline step inside the office.

I fix my glasses to look up at Mr. Hale. When he looks at me he seems pleased in a way. I quickly shift my focus back down to the papers. "I see that things are going according to how we discussed, Mr. Vasquez. I am pleased with what clinics, and rehabilitation facilities would like to collaborate with our companies. If you will," Mr. Hale gestures to the seats.

We all take a seat at the rectangular chestnut brown table with papers scattered across the top of it. "Caroline, please," he nods towards her.

Caroline nods in agreement pulling out her portable tablet and displaying graphs on the screen before us. Once again I find myself drifting off elsewhere peering across the street to another tall skyscraper. There is apart of me that wishes I would take that offer Mr. Vasquez presented me about taking a brief break. I don't know where I would go. Home?

I do miss my mother and brother.

Mr. Hale continues to explain the rise and fall between profits if we don't hit a certain quota. This is more of the CEO's and President's side of business which includes profiting their pockets as well as the market they plan on expanding in. This is way above my pay grade so I find myself drifting deep within my thoughts. It wasn't that long ago that we both had an instant connection. Sexual that is, but nonetheless a connection.

I find myself wondering if I should attempt to text Sebastian because I do owe him the biggest apology. The self conflicting emotions of wanting another man and wanting the company of a man weigh heavily on my heart. We didn't have the title of 'in a relationship' hanging over our head, but that didn't mean I didn't respect him for what he did do. Sebastian was... is a great man.

As the meeting commences my eyes wonder over the cherry wood conference table with table charts spread for everyone to see. I took a minute to assess everyone sitting around this bland table. Caroline the striking ginger standing in a black polo shirt with pearls draped around her neck to compliment the grey skirt that hung just before her knees. I was surely jealous of this young woman's figure when I had nothing to bring to the table. Even the messy bun she so flawlessly put together made my ponytail look like I was playing dress up just before work like a young girl.

It's almost as if she came out of an Old Navy commercial.

"I hope you will be able to notate this presentation and then forward it to my brother's tonight," Mr. Vasquez insists interrupting my thoughts.

I missed the whole presentation with my absentmindedness. It's very unlikely that I will have remembered anything that was talked in this room because so many words had been thrown around. "Yes sir," I respond quickly. "Shall I CC you and Mr. Hale into the email as well if you wanted to incorporate some additional information?"

Mr. Vasquez nods a grin creeping on his face. I believe he is aware at how boring these meetings can be at times. "I will have Caroline send out a document on the following next few project budgets that can be adjusted as need be. I don't that the Clinic's will subject to what we have proposed for them. It branches into the pharmaceutical aspect of the business world." Mr. Hale sounds like he's power hungry. I am guessing that's what lead the board to elect him to be CEO of his own company.

The meeting has now ended with half of the day gone. I take the time to smooth out my upalad flannel suit dress that has rise a few inches along my thighs. "Once again, looking immaculate in that dress Miss Donovan. I might have to peel that off of you," Mr. Hale expresses bluntly standing next to me dressed as he always dressed.

"Thank you," I say under my breath looking away from him. "You are looking... well." I want to keep this as professional as possible considering what has unfolded in the last couple of days. The tension is strong between the both of us. It has been a while since we've had sexual intercourse it makes my thighs tingle slightly to have his strong voice projecting himself in my ear.

Mr. Hale stuffs his hands into his suit pants pocket. "I assume your boyfriend wasn't too happy about my taking you home," he assumes making sure to keep his eyes peeled on me.

"He was least pleased when I told him about the affair we had briefly," I admit finally having the courage to look at him. My teeth grace over my bottom lip leaving me with little air to breath and relax my already heightened senses. "I don't know if he will be returning to see me."

"I hope he doesn't."

I admired his possessiveness, but it wasn't fair. How could he project his will over what and who he wanted? I couldn't even taste the emotion laced underneath all these hidden intentions. "You are making this hard for me. I'm not even sure if I can continue to work with you."

"Why?"

Why? It was your very being that screamed out to me. He kept pulling me into a whirlwind of mixed emotions and sexual tension. It was like I was subduing to my hidden sexual nature. I wanted his lips over mine and seizing any thoughts I had otherwise. It was like me to always overthink the possible and impossible. I shouldn't be thinking about him in this manner, but how else am I suppose to think about him?

"You have a nice day, Mr. Hale," I eliminate the conversation before I start to get emotional at work. "I will be emailing you shortly along with Mr. Vasquez and his brothers." It was better this way. I realized that he might have already known the power he held over me.

"You know, Ellie," he steps in front of me to make direct eye contact and I am graced with those grey with a hint of blue eyes of his. "You aren't the only person having a difficult time with this. I am trying hard not to want you."

It's the sentimental part of him that displays itself in the brilliant form of compassion. I have never been a person who's partake in the fascination of drugs, but I know if love was a drug it would feel like this. The withdrawals I am having in this moment prove that I wasn't completely over our affair. I should be honest. I was always honest. I was always confessing my feelings, my love, my fears, my hopes, and my dreams. I wanted to share that connection in which only I had with him.

There's a tear that creeps up to my tear duct, but I do not want to cry in this office. "Xander.." I grab my black blazer, and leather tote to proceed towards the elevators of the building.

My court shoes tap against the carpet as I make my exit down the cubical pathway. This was going to be too much to bear if we sat there admitting everything in front of one another. My job needed me to be ready and able to do what was needed to make sure this project got done in a timely manner. A secretary's job was crucial. I did not want to be a secretary all of my life, but I loved learning more of the business aspects of everything.

This was going to be my last job where I felt inferior under men who had been the boss of their and everyone else's lives. The elevator doors open when I am accompanied by Mr. Hale. It was one of my first memories I thoroughly assessed every time. "Ellie, you cannot just ignore my existence because we had sex. I shared information with you that I haven't shared with anyone for a long time."

"I do not know what exactly are you hoping to gain from this," I sigh heavily eyeing the flashing numbers of each floor we seem to pass. Elevator rides make everything awkward. "I apologize if I have made an inconvenience on your l-" I am interrupted by the scent of lavender as his hand is placed on my cheek.

For the first time in a while, if not ever Mr. Hale's teeth penetrated that of his own lip. "I know you want it," he whispers backing me up against the wall. "I feel it."

I feel it as well.

His hips have made their way onto mine digging his pelvic bone onto my waist. I gasp slightly clenching his hips in both of my hands. My thighs clench together underneath my dress with limited to no space from Mr. Hale. I feel his other hand creep around my waist and over my cheeks squeezing them slightly.

"I want you..." The words slip from my mouth.

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This is dedicated to: who has been a loyal reader. Thank you for taking your time to read, vote, and comment. I realize this is a random shout out, but I would like to show my gratitude.