MONDAY - FEBRUARY 27, 1995

"No, Sam, she doesn't want to talk to you. She won't look at any of the things in the box, won't listen to your music. It's so frustrating!" Shannon held the receiver tightly. Her mother had been so stubborn this weekend. Shannon was finding it hard to keep her promise to Uncle Pete, not to argue with her mom.

Sam rubbed his chest, the ache was still there. It had started up when he got the letter from Shannon and it refused to go away. "Please try one more time!" He tried to keep his voice normal, but his insides were shaking. He felt frustrated, he wanted to talk to Sarah. He wasn't about to let her keep shutting him out of her life.

"I'll try." Shannon sighed and walked towards Sarah's bedroom door.

Shannon knocked on the door, then opened it to find Sarah, sitting on her bed, her arms wrapped around her knees and her forehead resting on them. She held out the phone, deliberately leaving the mouthpiece uncovered so Sam could hear.

"Please, Mom, talk to him." She said, softly.

"No, sweetheart. Please, I really don't want to." Sarah pleaded.

Sam heard Sarah's voice and his legs gave out. He heard the pet name that Sarah called Shannon and he sat on the hotel bed, rubbing his fist against the pain that pounded in time with his heartbeat. "Please, Sarah." He begged silently in his head.

Sarah shook her head, she couldn't look at her daughter. To look at her now and see those blue eyes was too much for her. She could feel her resistance wearing down and it scared her.

Shannon put the phone back to her ear; she sat by her mom, rubbing her back. "You heard her, Sam."

"Yeah, I did. I know you can't force her to talk to me on the phone." Sam said. "Tell her I said it's okay, I understand."

"Mom." Shannon whispered. "He said it's okay, he understands."

Shannon covered the mouthpiece. "He sounds so sad."

Then Sam had an idea."Tell her that we will talk someday." He paused. "And tell her it will be mind blowing."

He prayed that Sarah would remember the last time he had told her that; it had been in reference to the first time they would make love. "Say it just like that."

Shannon sounded confused as she said okay. "Mom, he says that you two will talk someday, and it will be mind blowing." She ended the statement with a questioning tone in her voice. She heard Sarah's sharp intake of breath.

Sarah sat very still. Finally, she reached for the phone. "Give us some privacy please."

Sarah watched as Shannon danced out of her room, then she held the receiver to her ear.

"Hello, Sam." She said. The pounding of her heart was so loud in her ears, she was sure that he could hear it.

"Sarah." Sam laid back on his pillow and smiled, the ache was slowly receding.

The line was silent as they both waited. What do you say to someone that's been an important part of your life, but that you haven't talked to, for nearly nineteen years? How do you apologize for a lifetime of hurt?

"Sweetheart, we have a beautiful daughter." Sam whispered. "You've done a great job."

"She has the best of both of us, Sam." Sarah paused as she felt her throat closing up. She took a sip of her beer, glad that she had thought to grab one on the way. Then she spoke and filled the silence that was growing between them again. "I'm......" Sarah stopped and took a deep breath, exhaling quickly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I wish you would have." Sam sighed. His voice was soft as he continued. "But there was a lot of shit going on at the time, sweetheart. Neither one of us was thinking straight. I've thought about it so much all these years. There were so many things we could have done differently." Sam held up his wrist and looked at the tattoo.

Sarah closed her eyes, tightly. The more she heard his voice, the warmer the glow appeared in her chest. She said, softly. "I guess I've known all along that we would talk again, someday. But now that day is here, and I don't know what to say."

"I know I fucked up, Sarah. And it all moved downhill so fast, I couldn't even keep up with it. When I got Shannon's letter asking if I was her father, I knew then, I was being given a second chance and I'm not letting it go! I want to see you, Sarah. God, you have no idea how much!"

Sam heard Georgie pounding on his door and knew he had to leave for the coliseum, he groaned. "Fuck!"

Sarah smiled at the familiar curse. "Some things never change. I know, you have to go."

"Before I go, I want you to do me one favor, I want you to read the letter I sent you. It says everything I felt then, you will see that it was hard for both of us. I know we've done a lot in our past to get over it, but maybe we haven't completely. We owe it to ourselves and each other. I want to see you, sweetheart." Sam knew he was running late, Georgie was waiting outside his door. "I have to go, but I'll call you later."

He really believed that this was a second chance and he didn't want to fuck it up.

***

Georgie looked curiously at his brother as they walked to their car, "Did you have someone in there?" They climbed into the car, thanking their driver for holding the door open.

"No!" Sam laughed, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. "I was talking to Sarah."

"No shit!" Georgie laughed. "You're just full of fucking surprises! Are you two getting back together?"

Sam grinned, happily. "She didn't hang up on me! That's a good start."

***

Sarah was in her office that she had set up in the third bedroom of her home. She sighed in relief as she set aside the last tax form and W-2. She was finally finished the stack of forms and could take a break until the next rush of anxious taxpayers sent her more. She had started working on them after her conversation with Sam.

She needed the familiarity of working with numbers to occupy her mind. Any other time, she could get lost in the columns of numbers and the calculations involved. But tonight it had been hard to concentrate, her mind kept wandering back to her earlier conversation with Sam. He wanted to see her again.

She leaned back in her chair and ran her hands through her hair, pulling it back off her face. She paused then started to separate the thick strands into three sections. It had been a long time since she had braided her hair. It was now several inches shorter, ending at mid back.

She ran her fingers over the completed braid, remembering Sam doing the same.

"Had he changed?" She wondered. Was this really their second chance? He had broken her heart so completely, was there even a chance that they could start again?

The phone's insistent ring broke through her thoughts and she looked at the clock. It was midnight and she knew that it was Sam, calling after the show.

"Hello, Sam." Sarah's voice was hesitant but warm. There were no background noises, indicating to her that he hadn't gone to the party afterward. She smiled as she pictured him laying on the bed in his hotel room.

"Hello, sweetheart. Did you read the letter?" Sam closed his eyes, he was afraid to hear the answer.

"No, not yet." She paused. "I don't know if I'm ready, Sam."

Her fingers played with her braid, running over the plaits. She rubbed the ends between her fingers, looking at it closely as she spoke again, her voice going softer. "I don't know if you're ready."

"Yeah, Sarah, I am." Sam laid his head back on his pillow and held his breath. He wanted so badly to see her and just feel her in his arms again.

"It's been a long time, and we're not the same as we were then. So many things have happened in both our lives." Sarah worked at keeping her voice steady. She rested her elbow on her desk, her forehead in the palm of her hand.

Sam felt his heart starting to ache again at the thought that she might not feel the same as him. He didn't think he could stand it. He shifted up to a sitting position, leaning against the headboard.

"Our last concert is in Buffalo on Friday. I promised Shannon that I would send passes for her and Cody. "

Sarah gasped. "That's her birthday!"

"I've missed 17 birthdays." Sam said sadly. "I don't want to miss any more." He paused. "I'm including a pass for you too. I won't call you, I'll give you time to think. If you are willing to give us another chance, come see me in Buffalo."

Sarah heard the longing in his voice. He cleared his throat. "I'll be singing for you, sweetheart."

THURSDAY - MARCH 2, 1995

Sarah held the letter with shaking hands. She had held off for two days, the letter had sat on top of her dresser. She knew that time was running out. Sam was waiting for an answer.

As she read it, she recognized the pain that Sam had been feeling. They had both gone through such agony and it had made such an impact on their lives.

She laid her head in her hands and gave in to the tears that she had been fighting. There had been so much love between them. Maybe if they talked, she would see if it was still there. Even a little of it would be a start. She hoped it would be enough for forgiveness.

FRIDAY - MARCH 3, 1995

"Happy birthday, sweetheart!" Sarah sang out as her daughter danced and slid across the kitchen. Shannon stopped herself at the counter by her mother, leaning forward to receive a kiss on her cheek.

Shannon giggled as her mother twirled her around and released her to spin across the kitchen again. She was still laughing as the phone rang, and she ran to pick it up.

"Sam!" Shannon said happily when she heard his voice.

Sarah leaned on the counter, looking out the window at the snow piled deep in the backyard. She looked at the grey sky as she listened to Shannon. Her heart beat wildly as she thought about the plan she had decided on last night. She wanted to grab the phone and tell Sam, but she knew that she had to see him face to face.

She turned as Shannon hung up the phone. "Is Sam in Buffalo yet?" She tried to keep her voice level, she couldn't tell Shannon. Sarah had no idea how her meeting with Sam would turn out and she didn't want to get her daughter's hopes up.

"Not yet! He said that he'll be there about noon." They both heard the car horn. Shannon ran back to her room and came out with her book bag. Cody was here to pick her up for school. She blew a kiss at Sarah as she went out the door, "See ya, later!" Then she popped her head back in, "Will you please come with us tonight?"

"I'll let you know! Happy birthday!" Sarah motioned for her daughter to go. "Have a good day at school."

Sarah ran back to her bedroom and opened her closet. She had to find an outfit for tonight. She had a flashback to another time when she had stood in front of her closet, looking for that one special outfit to wear to Sam's concert. That was so long ago and she had been so innocent. Sarah shook her head and sighed. 'And too damn impulsive!' She reminded herself. She wished Midgie could be here with her now to help calm her nerves.

***

Sam opened the hotel door and flipped up the light switch. He threw his duffle on the floor and looked around. He was so glad that this would be the last hotel he would be staying at. As much as he loved being onstage and performing, he hated the hotels. They could be so lonely at times.

He walked into the bathroom and turned the hot water on in the shower enclosure. After his shower, he would head over to Georgie's room. It was the last night of their Anniversary Tour and they had planned on a party afterwards. Trish was flying in to meet Shannon and had even promised to have a birthday cake for her.

He stripped down as he wondered how his evening would end. He hoped Sarah would be with him as they celebrated Shannon's 18th birthday. He worried over how things would be between him and Sarah. He couldn't imagine having a father daughter relationship with Shannon and never seeing Sarah and shuddered at the idea of a platonic relationship. Maybe that's all she felt for him now.

As he washed his hair, he thought he heard someone knocking on the door. He stuck his head out and listened but hearing nothing, he went on with his shower.

***

Sarah stood outside Sam's door. She took several deep breaths before she knocked. When there was no answer, she raised her hand to knock again, then she realized she could hear the shower running in Sam's room.

She drew back and sucked in a breath. Shit! She didn't expect that! She turned and looked around the hall, praying that no one else from the band would come out of their rooms.

Sarah had left for Buffalo early, leaving a note for Shannon, telling her that they would meet up at the concert. She wanted to see Sam privately, not in the crowd of people that she knew would be backstage. She needed the chance to talk with him before they faced anyone else.

Sarah held her breath, biting her lip, and quickly walked to the elevators. She needed just a little more time before she saw Sam.

***

Sam was drying himself off, when he heard the phone ring. He grabbed a towel, rubbing it briskly over his wet hair as he picked up the receiver. His heart stopped when he heard Sarah's voice answering his hello.

"Hello, sweetheart." He spoke over his thundering heartbeat. Sam thought for sure that Sarah was calling to say she wasn't coming.

"Sam.." Sarah paused and looked around. "I'm in the lobby, on the house phone. Umm...." Her roving eyes caught the entrance to the bar set off in the corner of the lobby. "There's a bar here.... maybe we could meet.."

"Stay there, I'll be right down." Sam threw the phone on the bed and rushed around his room, trying to locate his bag. He wanted to get down to the bar before Sarah could change her mind.

***

Sam stood in the entrance, letting his eyes roam around, checking the tables, as they adjusted to the slightly darker room. In his rush to leave the room, he had forgotten his routine of tying his hair back and wearing tinted sunglasses. He stood a good chance of being recognized. Being interrupted by fans of the band was the last thing he wanted right now. He relaxed somewhat when he saw only one couple sitting at a table to the right of the door.

Then he locked eyes with Sarah, sitting in the last seat at the bar that lined the left wall, her chair turned slightly so she could watch him as he came in.

He walked slowly towards her, his eyes drifted over her hair that he remembered was soft as silk, as it glowed golden in the dim light. The Sarah that was there before him wasn't the same young girl, though.

He saw the change in her, she was now a woman. He liked the way she held herself, he could see the confidence in the way she sat tall in her seat, her legs crossed at the knee. Her booted foot gave a small kick, then rested still. She held her wine glass in one hand and the other was wrapped around the leather jacket that rested across her lap.

As his eyes swept up to her face, she gave him a small smile. His mouth felt dry and he licked his lips, nervously. He didn't think he would make it across the short distance to the end of the bar, his legs suddenly felt too weak to hold him.

When he watched the slow rise and fall of her shoulders as she took a deep breath it occurred to him that she was as nervous as he was.