Y/N POV

Things were surprisingly peaceful and rather pleasant between Kelley and I on our walk back to the hotel. Neither of us spoke much, but that didn't matter. It was nice spending time with the older defender alone.

Even though we've been roommates for the last 8 months, we didn't often find ourselves alone together. There was usually always someone else in the room (Alex, most of the time).

Despite having spent the better part of the last hour trying to calm down, as we entered the lobby, a fresh wave of emotions hit me, almost making me want to turn back around and leave again.

I could tell Kelley felt the same way when she slowed her stride, her body language communicating her hesitation to enter the conference room.

Without a second though, I put my hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"We got this, don't worry."

The shorter woman nodded, looking unconvinced, but grateful for the reassurance.

We arrived at the doors of the room and stopped just before opening them, meeting each other's eyes.

With a silent word of encouragement, we pulled the doors open together, entering the room.

Just as Jill had said, the entire team was already in there waiting. Not even a step in and you could already feel the energy, the tension. It was so thick, not even a knife could cut through it.

It seemed as though everyone was holding their breath, watching us as we walked down the small isle between the chairs. Kelley and I took the seats we normally did during meetings; I sat between Alex and Allie, while Kelley sat next to Allie, with Ash next to her. In the row in front of us was Tobin, Pinoe, Christen, Ali, and Crystal.

At the very front of the room stood Jill, Dawn, Mark, Erica, and my mom, Hope.

"Okay, everyone, thank you all for coming back. I know things are confusing and quite frustrating, but I promise it will make sense. I'm going to let Hope explain first, and then we'll go on from there. All we ask is that you listen." Jill said before patting Hope's shoulder and stepping aside.

"Um...honestly I don't even know where to begin." The blue eyed woman rubbed her palms on the sides of her jeans. "I suppose I should start from the very beginning. As you all know, I had my first U20 national team call up when I was 16. That year, I found out I was pregnant, the father being the boy I had dated at 15, who had taken my virginity. We had broken up many months before I found out, so going to him was already out of the question. It was the start of my professional soccer career, I had just met Jill, and things were really taking off for me. I didn't want to risk jeopardizing any chance I had of going pro because of my circumstances, but I also couldn't bring myself to terminate the pregnancy. I spent so many late nights agonizing over the choices I had. I could have either gotten an abortion, accepted Jill's offer, and graduated high school early, or I could keep the baby and choose to put off soccer until I was ready to play again. I was...I was really scared."

She took a deep breath.

"I remember one night, after practice Jill came to me and I broke down. I explained to her what my situation was, and she asked me "what do you want, in life?" and I remember thinking for the longest time until finally telling her "well, I never want to stop playing soccer, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of this baby. I want a child too, but I can't have both." Jill asked me a question I'll never forget; "why not?" She said, "Hope, if you want something, if you want two things, then you're gonna have to fight like hell to get there, but I promise you that if you care enough, you will. You have to trust yourself. You have to trust me. You have to trust your team." That night we made a plan. I was to carry out the pregnancy and give birth under the privacy of USSF, all the while continuing my training for the team and hiding the fact that I was about to become a mother. Somehow, against all odds, we were able to hide it from everyone. The only people who knew were Dawn, Jill, Mark and Erica."

Hope looked at the mentioned coaches, giving them each a watery smile as her voice grew shakier with each word.

"I was determined not to let being a young mom get in the way of my soccer career, but things started to grow more complicated when I turned 19. Y/n was 3, the U20 coaching staff was all moving to the USWNT, and I had the option to go with them. But, moving to the full, professional, national level meant more press. It meant more eyes. More people I had to shield my child from. That was the year I almost quit soccer, feeling like I was unable to handle the pressure. However, with the help of my sister, one of my best friends from high school, Sandra, and the coaches, I was able to continue playing. To the world and to my teammates I was just another young soccer star, but to the coaches I was also a mother. I'm sure most of you noticed how close Y/n is to Jill, Dawn, Mark, and Erica. That's because she's known them for pretty much her whole life. They helped raise her behind the curtain, all the while allowing me to travel the world and play my favorite game. The next few years brought a lot of changes to the team. All of the 9'ers retired, paving the way for a new generation of women. You all. I was 20 when I first met Carli, 22 when I met Ashlyn and Alyssa. When I met Becky, and Pinoe, and Ali, and Tobin. In the years following more and more of you joined the team until it became how it is now, and over those years we got to knew each other, and all 21 of you grew to be my best friends. My family. The people I loved most in the world. Tackling the 2015 world cup the year Y/n was going off to college may have been one of the most stressful times of my life, but despite that, I was still so wrapped up in my guilt. My shame. My embarrassment. My fears, and my insecurities to be honest with all of you. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone."

My mother turned to me and met my eyes, blue orbs staring into blue.

"Y/n," I swallowed, already feeling a lump forming in my throat. "I'm not ashamed of you. I'm not embarrassed of you. I don't regret having you. You are the best thing in my life. The thing I am most proud of. I was ashamed of myself, embarrassed of myself. I didn't hide you for all these years because I didn't want people to know who you were, I hid you because I didn't want people to know who I was. I was terrified of the criticism and the judgement. I was terrified of putting you in danger because I was in the spotlight. I already dealt with enough hate, I didn't need you dealing with it. I made a choice because I thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought I was protecting you, and I thought that you would have a better life and an easier time growing up if you weren't attached to my name. I never wanted to hurt you or make you think that I hated you or was ashamed of you. I was selfish for letting my own fears stop me from listening to you, and I am so fucking sorry. I should have listened to you a long time ago when you said you wanted to meet Aunty Kelley, and Ash, and Christen, and Pinoe. I should have listened to you when you said you wanted to be at the world cup to cheer me on. Those are opportunities for memories that I'll never get back because of the choices I made, and believe me when I say that I'll spend the rest of my life regretting that. But please don't ever think that I am ashamed of you. I love you more than anything else in this world, and I am so fucking proud of you and the person you are; the person you're becoming."

In that moment, all of my anger melted away. Hearing my mom finally say that after all these years was like taking a breath of air after swimming to the surface in the ocean. All I had ever wanted was for her to tell me why. Why was she hiding me. Why didn't she want anyone to know.

"I know I should have be honest with all of you, and that's why I left. I could't handle lying to anyone any longer. I felt like I was living a double life, and it became too much for me. But instead of facing it head on, I ran away from my problems. I was a coward, and my actions hurt every single one of you."

The goalie took a shaky breath, tears filling her blue eyes.

"Kelley...god Kelley, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Her tears finally fell, cascading down her cheeks. A silent sob wracked Hope's body, causing her shoulders to flinch.

"Leaving you hurt more than anything in my life, but at the time I was so guilty...I had thought about telling you so many times, but I was afraid that if I did, you'd hate me for keeping it from you. I never meant to hurt you, Kel. I know it probably means nothing, and I can't blame you for being angry at me, or hating me, but I need you to know that my leaving wasn't because of anything you had done. My leaving wasn't because of anything any of you had done. I left because I was selfish. Because I was scared. And I left because I was tired of lying. I didn't feel like I deserved to be here anymore, but Y/n did, and she worked her ass off to get picked for this roster. It wouldn't have been fair of me to deny her the opportunity of a lifetime just because I wanted to play longer. My time on this team was up, but the way I handled it was less than decent, and for that I owe every single one of you an apology."

The brunette sniffled, trying to wipe her tears, but they just kept falling, along with everyone else's in the room.

"I don't blame any of you for hating me. In the time before I left I said a lot of shit I didn't mean. I wasn't a good friend or a good teammate to any of you. I guess I thought it would be easier to leave if I knew that none of you wanted me back, but of course that was wrong, and it only made it hurt more. I thought about calling so many times, but Y/n was finally getting her chance and I couldn't ruin that. With the start of the World Cup, the past 8 months have reminded me just how much I miss you all, and how much I miss being on this time. Hearing Y/n's stories about The Great Horan, Worms and Janice, the Pookies...it made me realize how stupid I had been to think that leaving like that was a good choice. Seeing Y/n during her first press conference... being asked if any family would be attending the game tomorrow...I knew I couldn't keep doing this. It was selfish of me, and it wasn't right. That's why I'm here; to finally tell you all the truth, to be honest with you, and to give my daughter the freedom she deserves. Please don't blame her for not telling you, she was only listening to me. None of this is her fault."

Hope took a deep breath, offering us the smallest of sad smiles before speaking once more.

"I'm not asking any of you to forgive me, and I certainly don't expect any of you to want to be friends again. I just needed to be honest with all of you. I know this was probably the most inconvenient time for me to show up and drop a bomb like this, and I'm so sorry it took this long, but the last thing I wanted to do was ruin your celebration with this."

"Well we haven't won yet." Jill chuckled despite the tension, helping to break it a bit.

"True, but I know you will. I have the utmost faith in this team and your ability to win. There is not a single doubt in my mind that you're going to take home the gold tomorrow, and I want to be there to cheer you on. I love you guys, and I never stopped loving you guys. I only wish I had had the strength to live my truth sooner."