《Random x Reader one-shots》Buck Wilde (ice age) x reader
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Y/N POV:
Sid just thought it was a GREAT idea to adopt dino kids... stupid. So my brothers and sister, her husband and I are heading down a hole in the ground to fetch him back. And no, I am not a possum, nor a mammoth, like that last sentence suggested. No, I'm a weasel, how incredible it might sound. When I was just a youngling weasel my mom abandoned me... I sat on that stone for 3 days... that was until the two possum brothers crashed into me and got saved by their sister Ellie. They took me in and I took on the role of the annoying middle child that is able to make both Ellie and Crash and Eddie mad. But right now we were all mad at a certain sloth.
-We warned him, Manny says.
-We know, I sigh.
-Let's just get what's left of him and go home, I say.
-Y/N! Ellie says.
-I'm sorry, I forgot I'm in the earshot of the baby bump, I say and look at Ellies pregnant stomach.
-Why would you assume he's dead? She asks. I look at her with a "really?" Look.
-Yeah ok I get it, She nods and takes it back.
-If we find him, I'll kill him, Manny says and I laugh.
-Let me in on that, I say as we continue down into the hole.
Where there was a whole country of dinosaurs....
-I thought they were all dead, Ellie says dumbfounded as we all stare around.
-I feel... small... Manny says.
-Imagine how we feel then, Eddie then comments. As I look around I finally notice that Diego had joined us after our near death experience. I take a deep breath.
-Wow.... I whisper to myself. But the dinosaurs around us didn't appreciate us being here so they start closing in on us.
-Uh oh, I say and everybody seems to notice. Suddenly a screech of some type of horn is heard and we look towards the source. It's some type of small creature. It yells out as it swings past us on a swing and then into some bushes. An "ow" can be heard and I sigh.
-That was our only rescue, I say disappointed. The dinosaurs turn towards us once again and start growling and we all back away slowly. Suddenly I hear the scream again and a voice.
-Take cover! It shouts and yellow clouds of smoke rise around us and I cough before we are taken to hide under water.
I then stay under water but I can't see a thing, just barely make out what's being said above water. I can't see the direction of the sun and start panicking.
-Dude you're awesome! You're like the brother I never had! I hear Eddie say.
-Me too! Crash agrees.
-Can we keep him? They both ask and I finally find light and swim towards it.
-Brother... hold on, where's Y/N? I hear as I am closing up on the surface with burning lungs.
I gasp for air and fumble around, my wet fur covering my eyes.
-Did no one CARE to grab me on the way up!? I ask irritated, before a hand grabs mine and tugs me out of the water.
-Come here little lady, I got you, I hear. I then get my other hand to sweep my fur out of my eyes and in front of me stands another weasel. We both look at each other in shock. My heartbeat speeds up and my brain turns foggy. The only thing in my mind right now is the other weasel. And I can tell that he feels the same. We inspect the arch other carefully.
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-You're a weasel, I say and furrow my brows.
-Uh yes, it seems so, he lets out a huff of air.
I let go of his hand and walk around him, expecting him.
-You... are a weasel, I say.
-Huh... I then say and back off. I feel a bit... weird. You know, being around another weasel and all.
-Who are you? I ask as we just look at each other.
-Buck, he lets out of his wide mouth.
-What? Manny asks.
-Name's Buck. Short for Buck-Minster. Long for: Buh, the weasel says and let's put a sound into Manny's trunk. Then he feels Diego's teeth.
-A little dull, he comments.
-What are you doing here? He asks.
-Well Uh, our friend was taken by a dinosaur, Manny says.
-Well, he's dead. Welcome to my world. You can go home now, he says and starts walking off. What is it with this weasel?
-Not without Sid, Ellie insists.
-Wait, Ellie, maybe the deranged hermit has a point, Manny says.
-Thank you? I say offended.
-Manny we've come this far, we're gonna find him, Ellie says.
-I've got tracks. Let's go, Diego says.
-If you go in there, you will find your friend... in the AFTER-LIFE! Buck says dramatically.
-I'm sorry, the after life? I ask.
-Oh how do you know great weasle-y one? Crash asks.
-I am still standing right here guys, c'mon! I say irritated. Meanwhile, Buck has found a dinosaur footprint and licks the ground and analyzes it before spitting it out and I scrunch my nose in disgust.
-Hmmm. Mummy dinosaur carrying three babies and a green dangly thing? Buck asks.
-Yeah, we're friends with the floppy green thing, Manny says.
-You got all that from the tracks? Diego asks dumbfounded.
-No, not really. I saw 'em come through here earlier. She's headed for the Lava falls. That's where they go to take care of newborns, he says.
-Ok and... how do we get there? I ask, trying to hurry up and go back home, this whole place is just getting more eerie by the second.
-To get there, you must go through the jungle of misery, across the chasm of death to the plates of woe, Buck explains as he draws a map in the ground with a stick.
-Wow! Everyone comments except for Manny.
-Okay! Good luck with the slow decadence into madness! We're gonna go now! Manny starts ushering us forward.
-Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah! What, you- you think this is some sort of tropical getaway? You can't protect you're mate, mate! What're you gonna do with those flimsy tusks? Huh? When you run into the beast? Buck asks.
-I'm sorry, there's another worse beast than the ones we've already met? I ask.
-I call him: "Rudy", Buck says with added flare.
-Ahahahha... I laugh nervously.
-Nope I will not die today, let's go back home, I say and turn around and am about to leave, but Ellie stops me and pushes me back and I sigh.
-Oh, good, good. I was worried it was going to be something intimidating, like Sheldon or Tim, Manny says nervously.
-Wait! You mean there's something bigger than mommy dinosaur? Eddie asks.
-Aye! Bucky says.
-Aye? Eddie asks.
-Aye Aye! He's the one who gave me this, Buck says and points to his eye patch. I gape.
-Whoa he gave you that patch? Crash exclaims.
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-For free? That's so cool! Eddie says.
-Maybe he'll give us one too! Crash says and they celebrate. Buck just looks extremely confused at us. I shrug.
-Welcome to my world, Manny says annoyed and starts ushering us forward to find Sid again. I walk past Buck and he looks concerned at me.
-Abandon all hope, he who enters there! Buck says.
-Alright we get it, death and despair, yada yada yada! Manny shouts back behind us and I look back. Buck face palms in utter worry. But Ellie ushers me for and again, making me watch my step.
And here we are, jungle of despair, and Manny and Diego have been eaten by a plant... Why am I even surprised...
-Ok that's it, I'm tearing it out the roots! Ellie says and marches towards the big plant that is slowly eating our friends.
-Do that and it'll clamp shut forever, a familiar voice says and we look up. Buck followed us in the trees and hops down.
-What? Ellie asks.
-Alright preggers, don't get your trunk in a knot. I'll have the out of there before they're digested, He says and readies himself.
-Digested!? I ask.
-They'll be nothing but bones in three minutes. Five for the fat one, Buck says.
-I am not fat! Manny protests from inside the plant.
-Do you want help or not!? I shout back at him and he turns quiet.
-It's time to get Buck Wild, Buck says and jumps into the plant in a swoosh. Suddenly we hear:
-Who's fat now? From Manny.
We see the plant and our friends inside the plant move a bit as we stand and wait in anticipation. Suddenly the plant stops... and starts unraveling itself. It then spits out our friends with a bunch of guck and I almost barf. Buck comes sailing down on a leaf, smooth as anything. Buck looks at Manny and Diego and snorts.
-Tourists, he says.
-Puked on by a plant? Awesome! The twins say at the same time. I quickly swat off the little I had gotten on me in disgust.
-Say something! Ellie pokes Manny.
-That's for saving us, Manny groans as he stands up.
-Buck, will you help us find the green floppy thing? Ellie asks sweetly.
-That's not necessary! Manny says.
-Yes it is, I comment.
-Alright, I'll help ya, but just because this lady here asked nicely, Buck says and points his sword thing at me.
-And you'll have to follow some rules. Rule number one: always listen to Buck! He starts.
-Rule number 2: stay in the middle of the trail. And tule number 3:.... He stops for dramatic effect.
-He who has gas travels at the back of the pack! He stops. Eddie hangs his head and walks behind everyone else.
-Come on then, chop chop! Buck says and starts walking briskly. I run after him.
-We should all have our heads examined, Manny says.
-That's rule number 4! Now let's go find your friend! Buck says.
- I have my own rule 1, always stay close to Buck if you want to live, I whisper and I can see Buck grin a bit.
Later on the hike:
-Do you think the beast will find Sid? Eddie asks.
- Or more importantly, us? Crash whimpers.
-Rudy? Are you joking? He's relentless. He knows all, sees all eats all, Buck stops and scares my younger brothers and then stands in front of the group.
-So that's a, yes, he says. We all then see two big red eyes from behind Buck and we shakily point to it. He looks confused at us and then looks behind him.
-Hey, get off my lawn! Go on shoo! Buck flails his arms and the eyes turns out to have been the back of a huge butterfly.
-I knew that guy when he was a caterpillar. You know, before he came out, Buck says and continues walking.
-So your just living down here by your wits? All on your own, no responsibilities? Diego asks curiously.
-Not one! It's incredible. No dependence, no limits, the greatest life a single guy can have, Buck simply says.
-Did you hear that? This is my kind of place, Diego says impressed. Then we stop again because Buck stopped. He has a stone to his ear and talks to it.
-Hello? No... No I can't really talk right now... Yeah, no, I'm trying to recover a dead sloth. Now, They're following Me! I know! They think I'm crazy. Okay... We're going into the Chasm of Death, I'm gonna lose you. I love you too. Alright, goodbye. Goodbye, bye, Okay, follow me! Buck finishes his "call" and then continues walking once again.
-That's you in three weeks, Manny tells Diego.
-You really are here all on your own? I ask.
-Eeeyup! Buck says.
-And you never feel alone? I ask confused.
-Never say never, he says.
-So... you do feel alone? I say.
-Well yes, sometimes. But I have too much to do, he says.
-Huh... I just say and then we walk in silence.
-So, why do they call it the Chasm of Death? Manny asks as we stare down into a deep hole with fumes coming from it.
-Well we tried, "Big Smelly Crack," but that just made everybody giggle, Buck says and I giggle. Everyone looks at me.
-Sorry, I say.
- Well now what? Manny asks.
- Madam... Bucky says and waves for me and Ellie to walk into a big rib cage bone.
- She is not doing that! Manny says and stops Ellie.
-Ah! Rule number one! Bucky says.
-Come on, mammoth, you're supposed to have a good memory! Buck tries to hurry. Crash raises his hand.
-Always listen to Buck, Diego says.
-Good! Now! Eyes forward. Back straight... and uh, yes, breathe in the toxic fumes and you'll probably die, Buck says to me and Ellie.
- Toxic fumes? Ellie asks.
-Just another day in paradise, Buck says and looks at me.
-Wait! Manny hesitates.
-Geronimo! Bucky shouts and me and Ellie hold our breaths as we soar over the cliff and land safely. I immediately hop onto the ground.
-NEVER again, I breathe out.
- Ellie! You okay? Manny asks.
- You have to try this! Ellie shouts back to him. I shake my head.
- Alright now pile on everyone, couldn't be easier! Buck insists... Oh how wrong he was...
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