Y/N POV:

It was but another one of Busters shows. He was mostly doing musicals and there's where I came in the picture. After his super hit with the singing contest I auditioned for the lead role in his next play. I didn't get it but I was an awesome best friend character! It had some songs in it, two were I starred and Buster asked me to join his crew of singers. He was collecting us like prizes. I was really nervous to meet them for the first time but I clicked with all of them and they were really awesome.

I loved performing, especially with Ash. Her taste was just different from the others and that made me realize that different is good. Different is cool. Me and Ash have been flirting for a while now but both of us are too scared to say anything about it so we just let it happen. It had become day to day routine by now.

But... of course there's a downside to everything. For Johnny it was trying to maintain a healthy work life and a singing career. For Buster it was remembering to actually sleep during rehearsal weeks. For Meena it was to learn the lyrics and not freak out and for Rosita and Gunter it was coming up with a new choreography. For Ash it was mostly trying to remember to tune her guitar before going on stage. For me? Well, for me it's trying to control my overstimulation and not talk down to myself too much. Both of which was making it hard for me to balance a healthy work, school and private life. I hadn't dated in a while because all of my last few partners had always been disappointed in me when I've had my meltdowns. And sometimes I couldn't even make it to some rehearsals because tuning of guitars and mics and people talking over each other was too much. There's only a few animals that actually know. Buster, mrs Crawley, Johnny and Ash. Ash just knew because I told her but she had never experienced one of my meltdowns while Johnny, Buster and mrs Crawley all walked in on one once and sent me home right away. They told me that if I ever can't get out of bed, I have to call in sick and that they won't tolerate me putting my mental health at risk to be there and rehearse.

This has been an ongoing thing though. I had tried meds, therapy... they worked for everything but the overstimulation and I could never get rid of it. Worst thing is... it's tech week. If you weren't in hospital or coughing your lungs out, you had to be there. And I wasn't. So here I am. Backstage at the moon theatre, looking at props, costumes and soundchecking.

-Hey Y/N, I want you to sound check first since your mic is the only one without a cable connecting it to the sound machine, Buster says, running up to me.

-Uh yeah sure. What time? I ask.

-In ten at center stage, Buster says.

-I'll be there, I say. Buster shouts me two thumbs up and runs off further into the rehearsing spaces.

-Hi! Sorry I'm late, but I'm here now, Ash runs stressed towards her rehearsal space.

-No worries Ash, your sound check is after Y/N's, center stage, Buster shouts from somewhere. Ash let's put a relieved breath and packs away her things.

-Hey Y/N, how are you? Ash opens her guitar case. The lid snaps up and I can hear loud beats from the dance space.

-I'm alright. First day of tech you know, I say and fiddle with the buttons on my mic.

-Yeah. Luckily it's only a week, she says and throws her guitar around her. I smile and she smiles back.

-Would you like to go to dinner with me on Wednesday after rehearsals? Ash asks.

-What, me? I let out as a reflex. Who else would she be talking to.

-Yeah. Nothing fancy, maybe takeaway or something, she says and fine tunes her guitar. I tense up and I feel myself getting warm.

-Y-yeah that'd be nice, I say.

-Cool, ash smiles.

-Y/N we're ready for you, Eddie says.

-See ya later Ash, I sputter.

-You'll do great, Ash sends me a thumbs up before I head towards the stage.

Ash POV:

Oh my GOD she's cute. I smile to myself before I look back down at my guitar to hide it.

-Hey Ash! What got you smiling like that? Rosita asks and sits down next to me.

-Hmm? Oh nothing, I brush off. Then Y/N starts singing and my head snaps up towards the stage as I hear her humming to the intro.

-Aaahaaaa... Rosita says knowingly.

-What? I ask her and blush.

-Nothing, she grins.

-No, what is it? I blush even more.

-Just the way you looked at her. You had stars in your eyes, Rosita giggles.

-Oooo am I hearing if an ongoing love story? Gunter asks as he gets out of the dance space.

-What? No I just e-enjoy Y/N's singing, that's all, I defend.

-Mhmm, and that's not a pine sitting on the wall, Rosita points out and I look behind me. One of my pines has stuck to the wall, probably flying there when I heard Y/N sing. I swiftly yank it out of the wall and everyone around me laughs.

-Ha-ha, real funny, I say sarcastically, before returning to my guitar, but secretly listening to Y/N's voice.

Y/N POV, Wednesday:

I stop singing after a while, not feeling the song at all. Eddie noticed and turned off the backtrack.

Buster was sitting in front of the stage looking at his papers before he looked up at me.

-Why did the music stop? Buster asks.

-Buster I'm not feeling this at all, I barely relate to the song I- I sigh.

-Bu-b-but what about yesterday? You sang your heart out, what's the problem? Buster asked confused. I start feeling tears build up in my throat.

-I don't know Buster, I say frustrated and rub my forehead.

-C'mon you always have a good reason. No worries just breathe and tell me what's bothering you, Buster says and stands up in his seat. A single year falls and I take a shaky breath and lick the tear as it falls on my lips.

Ash POV:

I'm just going to get my extra guitar strings from my bag when I hear Y/N on stage. I grab the strings but I keep my ear out for what she's saying.

-... I just don't feel like a dangerous woman ya know. I feel the exact opposite from what I'm singing about, she says and I look at her and I see her sniffle and look hopelessly up at the ceiling. The sniffle is heard in the microphone and a loud ringing noise spreads in the theatre.

-Oh Y/N, I see Buster run up on stage and carefully take her hand. I walk carefully towards the scene.

-Hey did anyone else hear the ringing noise? I hear Johnny from behind me. I look behind me and from the stairs comes Johnny, Rosita and Gunter.

-Yeah what's going on? Meena asks and walks out of the dressing area. I hush them and they all look to the stage.

-Buster I gotta change songs, I can't do this, Y/N says dissapointed.

-Of course you can do this. You're a badass lady, you can do anything, Buster tries to reassure her. I look behind everyone and see Y/N's things. I walk towards them and there laid old tests. It was exam papers. A lot of them had an E but a few had at least an A and a couple of them had F's.

-Buster this is useless just let me change the song to something that's not lying about me, Y/N says frustrated. Buster looks so confused at her. I feel... sad for her. Not that she needs pity but I just... she looks so broken. Suddenly I drop some papers.

-Shoot, I immediately wheeze. Then I look to the stage and Y/N's running off.

-Y/N! Buster yells after her. I run out onto the stage and see that she runs through the big doors.

-She couldn't have ran outside. Everyone split up, Y/N needs our help, Buster says. I immediately nod and me and Johnny run out the same way she did.

-You take the right, I take the left, Johnny says and I nod. We run up our separate stairs and I go though every door, every booth. But nothing. I must have missed something. I think. Where would Y/N go? Well I think a rehearsal room is out of the question. I walk slowly back through the hallway. Suddenly I hear a sob. I perk up.

There it is again!

I follow the sounds of crying a couple of doors down and I walk out onto a balcony seat placement. I had already looked here?

Well apparently not well enough. Because here she is, pressing herself into a corner. I leave the door slightly open and sit down. I place my hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me.

-Hey.. I say in a worried tone.

-Hi... she says sadly. She brings her palm to her face and dries her cheeks.

-Sorry about that, she sniffles.

-It's ok, I reassure.

-I guess I kinda just... got overwhelmed. I wanted to be alone for a moment, she says.

-Oh you want me to go? I ask and start to stand up again.

-No please! She says.

-Stay. I sit back down. She rips her eyes from me and looks at the backside of the balcony. It was dressed in a beautiful and expensive velvet.

Y/N POV:

My brain is racing with millions thoughts. Some are about how to address this. Some are self deprecating. Others are just there making my head hurt. But one thing they all got in common is freaking out about being this close and vulnerable to Ash.

-What's going on Y/N? This isn't typically you? She asks.

-No I know I just... been kinda stressed lately, I sniffle and dry a tear that escapes.

-Is it... about school? Ash asks. I look at her.

-Yeah. I was never able to focus on what they were teaching and my mind just roams instead. It's hard, I start crying again.

-So they were old tests? Ash asks. I nod.

-Why we're you putting you're worth in those papers? Ash asks and I shrug again.

-I guess it's because I'm just feeling like a failure, I sob.

-A failure? Ash asks.

-No Y/N you're not a failure! You're the coolest, most hard working woman I know! You're everything but a failure, Ash says and furrows her brows.

-A-and anyone that can't see that that's what you are, then, then... then they don't deserve you! Ash says. I become all warm in the face.

-You mean that? I ask.

-Of course I do! No one can belt like you can, she says.

-Well except for Meena, I say quietly.

-Well Meena's good but I mean... she's got nothing on your voice, Ash says and I giggle.

-Thanks Ash. I really needed this, I say.

-Of course. I'm always here when you need me, she says. I smile and lean on for a hug. She leans into me and I wrap both my arms around her tightly and put my temple on her shoulder. I shut my eyes tightly before just relaxing. Then I look up because I could hear something moving. I opened my eyes and look d up and there stood everyone. I poke at Ash' shoulder and she lets go, also looking back at everyone.

Ash POV:

-Awwwww! They let out. Suddenly Moon comes through the doorframe.

-Oh Y/N thank god you're ok, he says and pants.

-Yeah. I'm ok, Y/N says and smiles at me. I smile back. Buster looks between us before smiling secretly.

-Well you all seem to have the situation under control. Ready to get back to work? He asks.

-Would you like to rest? I ask Y/N. She shakes her head and we stand up.

-All right let's continue to work, Buster says. Everyone joins him as he walks back downstairs. I feel fingers reach out and hook around my left point finger. I look to my left and there walks Y/N. I decide to take her full hand in mine and I see her smile happily as we walk. I grin to myself as my face becomes all warm and fuzzy.

I haven't felt this feeling in a long time. Like a long ass time. It's been about 11 months since me and Y/N started dating. I remember the show after the incident, and Y/N really outdid herself that time. Costume, song, choreography, everything was spot on. We had dinner at her house afterwards, all of us and I was the one to leave last. And we both confessed right then and there. Now I'm running up the stairs to the theatre and almost skipping my way through the theatre before running backstage and leaving my stuff right by the stage. I run to Y/N's rehearsal room and she looks up from her notes and smiles at me.

So this is what it feels to be in love.