《Green Eyes | Larry Stylinson ❀》Chapter 9- The Dream
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.•.•.Harry's Subconscious.•.•.
Louis holds Harry's hand as he travels in circles around the endless black room. Harry is not really sure where he is or where they are going, but the typical black room suddenly makes him feel comfortable. Safe even. Maybe a little at home. Louis wasn't lying when he said that he will be staying with Harry. Ever since then, he's been by Harry's side the whole time. Always holding his hand tightly, brushing Harry's curls from his face, or simply leaning over to kiss his lips.
And each time Louis does those things to Harry, he leaves that lingering feeling against Harry's body that makes it feel so surreal. This is the most Harry has ever felt safe and comfortable in his life. Harry feels as if everything is normal, and it's just him and Louis against the world. Sometimes Harry wishes they can be at their flat in London, but as long as he has Louis by his side no matter where they are then they're good.
Louis makes Harry feel loved and at peace. He makes Harry's heart feel whole and happy. Makes his body feel tingly and warm. He makes Harry feel alive. "What are you thinking about, doll?" Louis questions in the midst of the silence.
Louis stops walking them so he can turn Harry's body to face his. He wraps his arms tight around Harry's waist as he pulls him close to his chest. Louis' hands sneak underneath Harry's shirt as he lets his fingers tap against the bumps of Harry's spine, nudging his nose lightly against Harry's. Harry smiles right away and lets his body fall lax against Louis', knowing that Louis will support him. Harry kisses Louis' lips and lets their mouths rest together before pulling back. Harry notices the glimmer in Louis' blue eyes and how fiery his hands feel against Harry's skin. And then the next thing Harry notices, is the room around them slowly starting to turn white.
Harry looks around briefly to see how stark white it is. Almost to the point where it's blinding, and it makes his heart jump a little bit. It's completely different to the dark and empty black room he's always in. This feels safe. This feels like a new beginning. "Nothing. I just love you is all," Harry whispers back to him. He offers Louis a small smile as Harry's arms wrap around Louis' neck. He lets his fingers twirl against the hair at the back of Louis' neck and breathes in his musky scent.
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Louis laughs lightly and kisses Harry's lips quickly, "Well, that surely is not nothing now is it, dear?" He teases.
Harry gives a breathy laugh while shaking his head. He looks up in to Louis' eyes and gets lost when he sees Louis staring so lovingly at his own. Louis' eyes are practically sparkling and reflecting the light from the room. But then Harry notices something. He takes his eyes off of Louis and looks around the room to notice that everything around them is simply dim. The only source of light in the room that is being emitted is from Harry and Louis. Harry furrows his eyebrows and turns to Louis, now understanding why Louis' eyes are so bright and shiny right now.
"I don't get it," Harry breaths out, feeling Louis tighten his hold around Harry's waist. Louis gives Harry a sympathetic smile before he moves his arms to where he is holding Harry's hand. He walks them over to the side, and he sits down on the ground. He opens his legs and beckons Harry to sit in between them, then wrapping his arms around Harry's waist to pull Harry's back to his chest.
"What are you confused about?" Louis questions lightly, resting his chin on top of Harry's head.
"Everything," Harry starts, shaking his head, "I don't remember this memory happening. Does that make sense?"
Louis nods his head, "That's because you're finally thinking. You're using your brain to formulate your own scene."
Harry turns his head to face Louis, confusion evident in his features. All those memories he had about him and Louis had seem so real and in the moment. He never thought that his brain was basically on autopilot for him. And every time Harry's ended up in the black room, Harry's never understood why. He could hear the voices from his friends and family, and they sounded so real to his ears. It felt like they could talk to him, but he couldn't talk to them.
Now being in this white room, Harry does feel different. It feels like Harry can finally talk to them, can actually think for himself. It feels like the hope Harry has been needing to escape these rooms is finally there.
"I still don't understand," Harry complains pitifully.
"You've been having flashbacks. Something that has already happened that doesn't require your brain to formulate the details on its own," Louis explains slowly, "It's like watching a movie without having to think because your brain was unable to do so."
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Harry bites his lip and continues to stare at Louis, "Then why am I always in the black room at the end of a flashback?"
"That's because by the end of the flashback it gives you something to come back to. It reminds you why you're still here. It's where you mind opens up and you can hear your friends talk to you from the outside world."
"Outside world?" Harry questions.
Louis nods his head as he places his hand on the back of Harry's head, "Yeah, where all your friends and family are. The black room is where you can hear what they say to you, but you have no way of responding to them while you're like this."
Harry bites his lip and quickly looks down at his lap. Harry's head feels a little woozy, and he can suddenly feel slight pain in his right arm all of sudden. Harry didn't realize there was something wrong with him. He shakes his head frantically and turns to look at Louis again. "Like what?" Harry hesitantly asks.
"In a coma," Louis states bluntly.
Harry physically tenses and tries to squirm away from Louis, but Louis keeps his tight hold on him. Louis refuses to let Harry go as Harry lets out a tiny whimper to break free. Harry's head starts thumping loudly, and his shoulder has a searing pain. Harry's stomach is on fire, and his chest feels tightened. "A c-coma?" Harry breathes out frantically.
"Relax, baby," Louis then soothes. He places a hand on Harry's stomach and starts rubbing patterns softly. He pulls Harry back against his chest and places kisses against Harry's face to get him to calm down. "You're letting yourself give reasons to come back to the outside world with all these flashbacks. Your body doesn't want to give up."
"I can't control that," Harry wails out. He finally feels the muscles in his back relax, and he can slump against Louis now as the pain he felt before starts to dissipate.
Louis laughs fondly and pulls Harry back to lay down with him, "That's because your body doesn't have a reason to give up, it has a reason to stay. It's giving you the motivation to finally wake up and go back to the amazing life you have," he explains, "All you need is that right memory to get you to work your brain to open your eyes."
"My eyes are open," Harry whispers to him. He blinks over at Louis to prove his point, and he laughs again as Louis kisses the tip of his nose.
"In here yes," Louis motions to the room around him, "but not in here," he lightly taps Harry's head. "It's what being in a coma means."
Harry lets out a hum and presses his ear against Louis' chest to listen to his heartbeat. Harry's fingers curl around the hem of Louis' shirt, and Harry lets his nose rest up against Louis' neck. "So what's up with the white room then?"
"The white room means you are finally using your brain. You are now in control of what you are thinking and saying," Louis hums to Harry, smiling down at his curiously wide eyes, "Your brain is slowly beginning to work again. You just need to continue to do this."
"So my eyes are almost open?" Harry asks hopefully. He bites his lip to suppress the smile and not get too over his head, but the thought of finally being in the outside world makes him feel giddy. Harry doesn't want to be in a coma. He doesn't want to be stuck in these colorful rooms. He wants to see his friends and go out drinking with them. He wants his family to give him hugs and support. He wants to be with Louis and be able to do what boyfriends should be doing.
Harry just needs that one moment to make him open his eyes. Harry needs the thing to snap him back to reality to get him to see his people again. Harry wants to be free and feel alive again. He wants to be himself.
"Yeah. They're almost opened, sunshine," Louis whispers to Harry.
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