+++

As if there was no other way to break my heart, I guess there was a way now. I held my breath as my eyes bore into Noah who held no emotion. Stephanie took one step away from me as she gave a sweet smile, as if what she had said was something simple.

She took the initiative to leave, closing the door behind her quietly. There was eerie silence between us both since it was just two. Noah took the chance to get up and walk towards his desk. He takes a seat as he questions,

"What brings you here?"

I only stare him, no words to even begin with. My mind raced with so many questions but there was a void. I couldn't say what I wanted to say and it stressed me to the core,

"Well? I'm waiting?"

No response. He sighed before he turned towards his laptop and typed away,

"Well if you don't have anything to say you are dismissed"

I whisper, loud enough for him to hear,

"Are you seriously going to ignore the elephant in the room?"

He pauses typed and looked up at me,

"I told you before, there's nothing to talk about"

I blew it. I couldn't hold it anymore,

"You're fucking joking, Stephanie was literally straddling you and you still say there's nothing to talk about?"

"So?"

"S-"

I start but stop my head began aching. I rub my forehead as I walked up to his desk,

"Okay forget about what just happened. Tell me this, Stephanie just told me the she's your first love"

His eyes snapped to me as he stood up, slamming his laptop screen that made me jump. He walked around his desk and held onto my arm, jerking me forward towards him,

"This conversation ends right here"

"No! It doesn't need to end, not right now it doesn't"

"Don't test me Lily"

"Actually I do. I want to see what you're not telling me"

He scoffed as he looked out the window. He clenched his jaw before looking back down at me,

"Well I guess you won't be getting what you want. Leave"

"That's not fair and you know it Noah!"

I exclaim as I try to reason with him. He doesn't listen and just continues to look away. My bottom lip quavered as I tried to reason with him,

"Luke and Ed said to give you time, please... just tell me this is not true... and then I'll leave..."

He never faced me but instead he walked away from me. I felt like the last bit of hope I held was slowly crushing. I took in a moment, letting everything sink in. Ever since I slept at his place he rebuilt the wall that I kept in the past and quite frankly I hated it, since he was doing it.

Over the months since I started working, I had encountered with Noah in so many ways to the point where it was almost soothing and normal. I didn't want it to end because of something we did that required the both of us.

I stare at his back as he looked out of the large window. He made no move; let alone resolve this. Having enough of him and his lack of communication with me, I walk up to him and hold onto his shoulder; making him spin back to face me.

He looks down at me as if he knew this was coming. Now that I was up close to him, I slowly felt myself break, little by little. The words that leave my lips are hoarse as a big lump forms in my neck painfully,

"Say something dammit! Don't be quiet. Tell me... say something... what Stephanie said is not true right?"

No response. He's tense. He grinds his teeth, his jaw flexing from doing so. Since he still made no choice to say anything I felt my heart shatter almost instantly. My hand drops from his shoulder and I take a few steps back, the unwanted tears now surfacing.

He notices that I've taken steps back and moves to try and take a step forward but I was done. I had gotten my answer and there was nothing he could do to make it better. I raise a hand mid-air making him freeze. He meets my eyes and I speak in a shaking manner,

"Don't... You couldn't even deny it so why bother now? What changed that made you want to try and rectify your words?"

He parts his lips to speak but I speak first, not giving him a chance to speak,

"You were the first person that I genuinely fell for you know? I knew there would be obstacles in the way but I never knew it would be this...if you never wanted this you could have told me; at least I would be ready for the heartache and pain. I would have never taken it seriously"

I couldn't help it. The tears fell. I hastily wipe them away as I stare at him; without realising I find myself whispering quietly, but loudly enough for him to hear also,

"Out of all things it had to be this... why didn't you just stay with her? Why play with my feelings?"

I let out a dry laugh as I remembered my past relationship. It was exactly like this, I was heartbroken because the guy I fancied still had feelings for this first love. I wipe away another tear as I speak ton myself,

"Why is it that I always find out like this?"

"Listen I-"

He tried to speak but I merely shake my head. I comb a hand through my hair looking away behind him. I didn't want to hear his excuses. Not now since the reason why he had been distant and cold with me had finally been said. I let out a shaky breath as I speak,

"Do you know how easy it is to say something like that? I might as well say that I chose to work at this company because Tom was and still is my first-"

"But he isn't, you're mine!"

He intervenes possessively. I swallow down the lump that formed in my neck as I spoke in a calm manner,

"No he isn't. I may sound possessive but you were mine"

My heart hammers against my rib-cage as the words overflowed in my head. I shake my head, using a hand to wipe away the tears that continued to fall. I take another step back, creating a distance between us both. My heart felt heavy, eyes brimming with tears,

"You think it's easy don't you? We met in the most random way... the only people who know about us is Ed, Luke and Tanya. Daisy and everyone all know that something is going on between us ever since I wore your shirt to work dammit. Everyone knows Noah..."

I say in a ramble, his eyes softens at my words and he tries to move forward but stops himself. I continue,

"We always have something either behind your door or mine. How long do I have to hide this? Behind closed doors we're all playful yet once we're out it's you're the boss and I'm the PA. What's the point on doing this if you can't even talk to me freely?"

I let out a shaky laugh before staring at something on the floor, I whisper loud enough for him to hear,

"Sure you took me to that place where your grandma found but think about it. That's literally the only thing you shared with me. There's no point continuing what we do behind close doors."

"Lily you don't understand"

"Then make me dammit! Break it down so I can understand. I know there's something holding you back and clearly it's Stephanie"

His eyes widen a little as I noticed this small thing,

"Yeah Noah I knew there was something holding you back. I knew it from that every first night when you brought me here from the club... when we first kissed. I could always feel it but I never pushed on it because I liked what we had. I knew my limits."

I sighed as I shrugged my shoulders,

"If Stephanie means a lot to you still then I'll take Ed and Luke's advice and give you space. What we had clearly ended a month ago. I won't bring it up anymore... there's no point now is there?"

I say with a shaky voice. My heart tore in two as the words left my lips. I saw something shift in his eyes; hurt and pain. My gaze falls to the floor waiting for him to say something but he never did.

With a biting lip, I muster the courage to look back at him seeing his eyes filled with so many emotions as his jaw clenched and unclenched continuously. He balled his hands so tightly that they were becoming white. Not being able to take with the silence anymore I pleaded,

"Come on... say something... anything... please..."

I knew that we were at a breaking point, but I needed to hear it from him. I needed to hear that what Stephanie said wasn't true but how could I? My trust was breaking as seconds ticked by. I looked up meeting his emerald ones as he spoke in a cold, harsh manner,

"You want me to say something then listen. I don't have to justify my actions. I know where I stand. I didn't even tell you to come in, in the first place! And good, don't bring it up. Even if we go back to ignoring each other, I know that I won't miss you. You were just a one time thing"

As if my world couldn't crumble enough, it did. I couldn't help the tears as they fell. I backed away from him. I shook my head, not wanting to believe what he just said but, gradually, the words already started to sink in, already embedding in my mind,

"You don't mean that..."

As if something shifted inside of him, he shook his head and closed his eyes. He turned on his feet, facing the window once more. I felt a lump growing in my throat, blocking any words from being said. I laugh nervously as I combed a hand through my hair as I spoke mainly to myself,

"Maybe it was never meant to be cause you know... I mean... come on, who are we kidding; both Lake and Ed wanted this all"

There was no response from him at all. I continued to speak, my words aiming at him but somewhere along the lines I knew it was to myself as well, somewhat trying to coax myself,

"I hope everything goes well for you both. If that's the fact and I was just in-between then I won't miss you. You said it yourself, you won't miss me... I think... I think it's best we stop here before it comes a heartache."

I look up to him as he just stood tall and confident, like my words didn't even affect him,

"The only reason why I came was to tell you that your restaurant meeting with Mr Pete is still on board, I never wanted this to happen but I guess fate has something else planned for us..."

I bite my lip as I quietly back away from him until I was right behind the door. I give him one last look before I whisper out, the tears falling down non-stop by now,

"Goodbye Noah"

It fell silent, the only sound that was present in his office was his calm breathing and my sniffles. As I finish my sentence, I turn on my heels opening the door in one swift motion. I run out unable to keep the tears in any longer. I run past Daisy as she looks up seeing me run past her,

"Lily?"

She questions but I don't reply as I keep running. All of a sudden, I trip on my feet making me collide with the floor,

"Lily!"

Daisy exclaims. I turn my head to the side a little, hair covering my face away from her but still she was able to catch the tears as they streamed down my face. She rises from her seat making a beeline to me.

I drop my head down in shame, heart aching like never before as everything replayed in my head. His words alive and imprinted, both in my mind and heart. She comes into reach and crouched down to my level rubbing circles on my back soothingly,

"I- I have to go, I'm so... sorry"

I say in a broken whisper. I rise from the floor, wiping the tears harshly as I hastily press the button for the elevator. Once the doors open I step inside, now facing Daisy as she looked at me with sad eyes; tears glistering her own,

"Goodbye Dais"

I whisper as the doors finally closed. As they were fully shut I let out a strangled cry, falling on my knees as they gave out. I closed my eyes feeling the tears fall constantly, this time loosing the energy to wipe them away.

Using the little strength I had in my arms, I only find myself breaking down even more as minutes went by. I cried so much that I didn't realise that I was approaching the ground floor. Sniffling, I stand, my eyes puffy as tears continued to fall.

I kept my gaze on the floor as my thumb moved in a circular motion on my index finger. The doors began to open and I was greeted with a cheerful chatter. The chatter quickly faded, clearly now taking in my crying presence in the elevator,

"Lil?"

Someone calls my name, I shake my head as I look up seeing Alfie in front of me with a shocked face,

"Hey what happened to you?"

He whispers as he takes a step forward. He raises a hand, cupping my face; trying to console me but I just shake his touch off me. Once his hand was no longer on my face I push him gently away from me as I muster the courage to run past them all.

I felt multiple eyes on me, voices all overlapping with one another. I could hear Alfie loud and clear as his voice boomed in the background, screaming my name,

"LILY!"

I blocked everything out, Noah's words replaying on repeat over and over again. In the corner of my mind, all I wanted was just to leave. I wanted to escape from the heartache as it continued to build.

As I ran towards the front door, a few business men walked in, a small talk flowing between them all. Since everyone called my name, they stopped and looked my way. Not wanting to be here any longer I dodged them, feeling their stares on me also.

I run past them pushing the doors wide open; the wind slapping me in the face. I wipe another tear with the back of my hand as I look in both directions. Without giving another thought, I end up running on my left. People made way as the pathway became my guide.

+++

20 minutes of running, the adrenaline slowly died down and my eyes felt heavy. The tears no longer streaming down my face. The hole in my chest was heavy and lost as if it was ripped out and stored locked away in the company.

I comb a hand through my hair, lips trembling as the scene dared to play in my mind. I spin in a circle, looking around in the somewhat unfamiliar place. I didn't have anywhere to go and I definitely didn't want to go back home. A sigh leaves my lips as I thought of one place.

Home.

I wanted to go home.