A/N: make sure to read (1) first, the chapter prior ahah. Hope you enjoy :)

-

It had been ten minutes.

Ten minutes, throughout every minute and second, you didn't dare let the man below you go. The worst was when you lightly grew a cramp near your inner thigh from the awkward position on the ground, but you didn't care. In this moment, you were ready to bare through the pain and embrace the one family member you thought was dead for years.

You cried for his death every year, hating and regretting ever not trying harder with trying to find his body. But now you understood, you understood all why you couldn't find anything—why no one you paid so much for couldn't find anything...there was no body since Helic wasn't dead in the first place.

You knew you should be angry and asking him all the questions you possibly could. But as of right now, for some reason, you couldn't let the man go. You just wanted to hug him forever and stay crying softly at his neck.

"Y/N?" Helic tried again, softly trying to move away from you again.

You struggled, shaking your head before hugging him tighter on the ground.

Helic sighed. "If we get up you can question all you'd want," he lightly reminded, feeling his back starting to cramp up on the ground.

"In a minute," you whimpered out, hands in fists as you hugged him tighter than ever.

Helic couldn't breathe, but he didn't complain as he squeezed you against him again. Reassuringly rubbing at your back, he sighed before letting his head rest against the cold hard floor underneath him.

"You said that seven minutes ago," he chuckled lightly out, eyes shutting when hearing you starting to cry all over again.

-

"You said that seven minutes ago," Jin chuckled out sleepily, waving over for Jungkook to stop.

"Sorry," Jungkook said, knowing that the light from his phone was probably irritating for Jin who was trying to catch some sleep before the schedules the next day.

It was just hard to sleep knowing that fans were still blowing up theories and assumptions about you all over social media. From ignorance, to simply rude happening, fans were furious and confused. The hate directed at him he could understand, but every time he saw something about you, his heart fell and his answer blossomed.

One thing was for sure. The constant searching for this hate was causing Jungkook to be emotionally drained every day on tour. It was hard to focus on his own since he missed you, but to see and hear things about you on a basis really got to him.

Jungkook was a walking time-bomb. One more flick and he could explode wrongfully.

"No need to be," Jin sighed out, knowing exactly what Jungkook was probably doing.

Watching the maknae for a long while as he simply continued to scroll more down the cafes, Jin sighed, rolling his eyes before taking out his own phone and digging for a photo.

Sending it to Jungkook from where he lay on the opposite bed in the hotel room, Jin watched as Jungkook's brows furrowed and he looked over at him.

"Instead of scrolling down and getting angry," Jin said, watching Jungkook move away to his messages so he could see the picture sent, "Focus on Y/N...her presence and how she makes you feel. Forget anything else."

Jungkook's eyes softened when seeing the photo that was sent. His smile grew a little before staring over at Jin in curiousness.

"When'd you take this?"

It was a picture of you sitting at a table while he did a costume change for the Korea concert before his leave. He was moving into a new jacket all while feeding you half of his apple slice that Jimin had given him. You had it by your mouth in the picture while your hands were focused on wiping the sweat off the maknae's face with tissue.

It was just a genuine moment caught on camera that Jungkook wouldn't normally think to document or think about again. It had happened so fast and casually as you and Jungkook were simply flirting about and talking.

All he remembered was seeing you at that moment gave him a boost to go out for the third section of the concert with energy and smiles.

"Lia took it," Jin laughed out, smiling genuinely when spotting the change in the maknae instantly.

Jungkook went from upset to bunny mode quick. His teeth were out when staring at the photo.

"Lia and I have talked about the idea of idol's wit girlfriends in the public eye," Jin sighed out, remembering the conversation, "It was sad but we both agreed that for most of the beginning of our relationship, we'd have to keep it on the low. I don't want her hurt in any way."

"I uh," Jungkook smiled, it was softer than his excited one just now, "I think hiding what I have with Y/N for a while may be healthy as well...at least until things die down."

"I think that's smart," Jin said, nodding, "and if Y/N's anything like Lia, she'll understand."

Jungkook nodded, knowing you'd say 'yes' to this in a heartbeat. No matter how the relationship was viewed to others, him and you both knew that what mattered was what was to happen between one another.

Jungkook sighed, saving the pictures as his lock screen quicker than ever. He smiled gently as he gawked at it again, heart fluttering.

Jin smiled as he watched the maknae tiredly for a moment.

"Instead of staring at the negatives and tormenting yourself with 'what ifs'," Jin said smug, seeing Jungkook smile lovingly when staring at the picture, "Think about the most important things...the positives."

"Thanks, hyung," Jungkook said, smiling before chuckling.

"Anytime," Jin said, laughing tiredly, voice scolding suddenly when he spoke up again, "Now, sleep."

-

"Now speak!" you chimed loudly, still profusely crying as you hit your loose fist at Helic's chest before you.

Finally, up and at your feet, you were still a mess. But now, the anger was starting to move through you as you were getting over the initial shock of it all. There was pain and hurt left behind at this point.

You were ready for the answers.

Helic swallowed lightly, smiling gently when seeing you lightly still trying to punch at his chest. Lightly grabbing your hand, he sighed before nodding and trying to formulate his words.

"I know seeing me alive must make you angry—"

"Fuck yes," you whined out, shoving the man back when flinching your hand stubbornly away from his hand.

When he let go however, you cutely moved towards him, like a baby wanting attention instantly. You moved your hand back into his stubbornly, crying harder.

You couldn't make up your mind. On one end, you wanted to shove him, push him and yell, and on the other you wanted to hug him again and just cry...

Helic laughed at your behaviour, eyes softening. "Don't cry yeah? Be mad and pissed all you want but no more tears," he tried, but no use.

You were trying to refill new water into the banks of Niagara Falls by crying yourself out.

Helic sighed.

"How are you alive?" you asked pained, hating that you had searched everywhere on that cliff and yet he was never there.

"I almost died on that cliff side," Helic said, smile hurt himself when seeing the pain in your eyes, "...Tajh and I agreed to swerve over in the car together. I was done...wanting to be free of everything while she wanted what she felt was best for her."

Your raining eyes widened at that.

Helic noticed the reaction and cut in before you could react fully. "Y-Yeah," he said, smiling nervously, "It was a suicide attempt."

"What?" you piped, face scrunching as new tears built.

Helic was having trouble in continuing but he knew he had to.

"The car went over and we actually thought it was over," Helic said gently, trying not to remember just how vivid the image of the cliff's side looked like while free falling for a bit. "We thought we'd die as soon as we rolled about in the damaged car."

"But you didn't."

"We survived it," Helic said gently, remembering waking up with an almost severed arm. There were glass shards all over his body and Tajh's. It was a brutal sight for the both once walking up. Blood everywhere, and shock terrifyingly present, it was truly a miracle that they survived the fall. "Although the condition we woke up was closest to death I've ever gotten..."

You felt like crying again, but for different reasons. Your brother had planned to kill himself and that broke you more than knowing he might have been dead all these years. It's different to have died on accident, but to feel the need to end life as you're living it is an entirely different story.

"Initially," Helic continued, brows furrowing as he squeezed your crying form's hand in his, "We were devastated that the fall didn't work...I was an emotional mess because this was my shot at finally getting the freedom I wanted from a life I was tired of. But once we survived the fall, the main goal for me was to get Tajh help."

"There's one thing to have her die on the spot with me," Helic said gently, explaining his thought process at that haunting time of his life, "But to see her suffer as the life slowly left her eyes at the bottom of that cliff...that is what I couldn't bare. So swallowing up my own hurt ego, I tried to get her help."

It took you a moment but when you found your memory to move back to the other masked individual that was in the crowd today, you pursed your lips.

"She's alive," you said, smiling hugely, "y-you got her to safety, she's alive, I saw he—"

"Yes," Helic chuckled, moving the palm of his free hand to cup over your hand that was in his, "She's alive and well. Eventually, I managed to get to a family that based by the mountain sides and they were kind enough to help."

"Don't get me wrong," he sighed out, "it was harsh to have found my way all injured. But those days alone with a half-passed-out Tajh was the first time I felt hopeful in years."

"Why didn't you tell me you survived the crash?" you asked, voice fragile.

Helic struggled with that. Licking at his bottom lip, he had trouble staring at you for a second as he collected word to rightfully bring out his points.

"Because I knew if I told you, you'd convince me to come home," Helic said gently, sad as he spoke, "and in the days of recovery in the house by the mountains...I had decided that since I failed in ending myself, I might as well rebuild my name in this world and stay hidden while doing so."

"But in doing so, I separated from all that life entailed before the crash," he finished, "no parents, no more relationship with Tajh as we ended things...and well, no more you. In order to be the man, I wanted to be I forced myself to forget my life before the failed suicide. And uh, here I find myself many years later striving for more power control—sucks how beating a kid until he feels powerless can make him grow power hungry when fully grown."

"Power control? Helic, you left me behind!" you said sadly, eyes sinking to his hands that were on yours, "I thought you were dead this entire time. I cried and mourned for you...I missed my older brother but you didn't care to realize any of that? How selfish can you get?"

Helic's brows furrowed a little at that. Moving his hands away from yours, he took a step back for a moment. That hit right at home. It hit hard and all for the wrong reasons.

"Selfish?"

Your jaw clenched, anger laced in your expression.

"I was hated within the walls of my home for being born," Helic said, his face growing in disbelief and hurt, "Then you came into the house and the hate directed towards me stopped for a while as your parents grew distracted by their new baby girl—" your eyes softened at the fact that he didn't acknowledge them as his parents. Suddenly, your stomach feel to your gut and your anger diminished.

Helic continued, "The hate stopped for a while as they cherished you...but it was okay...it was okay because I was happy only I got slapped and kicked around. I was happy they never touched you."

You felt sick. Wanting to move in to speak, Helic was heated as he just seemed to continue.

"We grew up and I got used to the beatings," Helic said, grinning bitterly now when speaking, "I covered for you every time you fucked up so their view of you being perfect wouldn't falter. I didn't want you hurt ever so I let them harm me for your stupid fuck ups. Every time you'd sneak out in high school, I'd tell them I sent you out to grab things for me—oops, fifty punches all over for that. Then, the times where you'd accidentally break something belonging to the sicko father of yours, you'd be laughing while trying to glue it together in your room while I got tossed around in the basement of the house."

You were incredibly shocked. Feeling your throat tighten up, you let a few more tears escape you at the new information.

"I didn't know that," you said softly, guilt suddenly eating up at you instantly all over again.

"Yeah well, I wasn't one to brag about getting bruises," he mumbled, moving more back as he moved to stand before the duffel bags in the room, "...what mattered was you were safe always that's all. And it worked, you were daddy's princess."

You blinked back tears but it didn't help, they fell.

Helic turned around, licking at his bottom lip awkwardly. "So yeah," Helic said, jaw tense as he sucked his cheeks in, "I guess I'm sorry for being selfish all my life."

"Helic—"

"I'm sorry I decided to think about myself for the first time in forever," he said through his teeth, "Should've just came back and remained stuck and miserable."

"I'm sorry," you said gently, pursing your lips as you felt ashamed.

"Yeah, I am too," he sighed out, knowing that getting angry now out of all moments wasn't healthy. Swallowing, he retorted to making things right on his end. "I'm sorry for having you oblivious while you resorted to look around for me...it's sweet that you didn't want to give up on me."

You smiled at that, but there was so much pain behind that smile.

"I love you," you said, shrugging, "You're my older brother and I'll always love you. What else did you expect of me?"

"I didn't expect you to stupidly borrow money from Jae," he stated, eyes narrowing.

You smiled nervously at that.

Helic's eyes narrowed further.

"You're an idiot."

"I'm an idiot."

Both of you spoke up at the same time.

Smiling, you tried not to laugh through your tears when seeing Helic instantly grin.

"I guess my dumbass was just as clueless," he sighed out, remembering the fucked-up cycle of money that occurred as he accidentally ruined your life, "You took money to try and find me, while I was ordering Jae to slowly ruin your life without even knowing."

You snorted, finally letting that fact hit you. Eyes widening, you didn't know why but you wanted to laugh. Maybe it was because all the crying and tension was making you uncomfortable?

"I'm sorry for accidentally having you rob an idol group."

You laughed, wiping at your dripping eyes. Laughing harder when seeing the ruined makeup on your hands now, you simply smeared it more when wiping thoroughly at your eyes.

"Its in the past now," you sighed out, not wanting him to feel any sort of guilt, "Plus, if none of this had occurred, I wouldn't have a boyfriend."

Helic's brow cocked at that.

You smiled sweetly when thinking of Jungkook.

"Boyfriend?"

You nodded, eyes casually moving to spot Helic's mind go into deep thought. You saw the same look of protectiveness cross him like the times years back, and it made you want to melt away in new tears. But instead of crying, you simply smiled hugely before rushing towards him again.

"He's sweet okay? No need to worry," you laughed out, seeing Helic's eyes simply narrow more.

"What's his nam—"

"Shh," you playfully hushed out like he had done to you earlier.

Moving to hug him, you sighed before resting your cheek onto his shoulder.

You buried yourself into his wet coat. It was from all the crying you had done earlier, and here you were to possibly add more if you didn't pull away soon.

It sucked that you knew this moment couldn't last forever. You wanted this forever, you wanted him back and away from such a business. But you understood that at the end of the day, this was his life.

One thing you had to say, you knew he wouldn't care for it, but you wanted to try and have it placed in his hard-set mind.

"Mom and Dad miss you," you said with difficulty, feeling the man tense under your touch. You hugged him tighter, nose covered in his clothing, "They're changed people who regret how they treated their only son...Mom's starting to baby my boyfriend but behind it all you can see she hates that she was never able to give that to you."

Helic didn't say anything.

"...and Dad still has the one-seater couch you fought to never be thrown out in the house," you continued softly.

Again, nothing.

"They regret it all."

He finally said something, but when he did, you sighed, expecting the bored reaction from the man.

"Good for them."

You dropped the subject all together, not wanting to force Helic into thinking and viewing things from your point of you. As a sister, what you could do at this point was see things from his point of view. Although it was hard to see stuff that didn't fit your moral-standings no longer, for Helic, you were willing to try and let him be.

You didn't want to be the contributing factor in him selflessly giving up on something for you again.

This wasn't the past no longer, this was now. This was present.

It was hard for you to ask what you wanted to ask next, but you had to...

"So, what now?"