I walked slowly, looking at my feet. Even though the weather was warm I could still see some rain clouds forming in the horizon. I sighed, great. My house was 10 kilometres away from the school.

I didn't have a car, nor would I spare the precious money that I could be spending on food to take a bus, so I walked 20 kilometres a day just to go to school and back home. It took me about 3 hours or so to walk to my house, and I was sure that I would catch some rain before I got home. But honestly, it was better than rushing to get home faster.

Maybe I could get pneumonia or something like that and die. That would solve all my problems now, wouldn't it? I kept looking down at my shoes and kept walking. Unfortunately, seconds became minutes and minutes became an hour, and before I realized I was in front of my house. I took a long breath while I looked at the falling-apart hellhole I called home.

I opened the small rusty gate, making a slight creaking noise and closed it behind me. A loud thunder startled me and I walked towards my front door, avoiding the sudden rainstorm. The front door was semi-opened and I peeked inside.

The light was on and I saw my father lying in the couch watching TV, with a cigarette in his mouth and a beer in his hand. He was extremely focused on the show he was watching and I tried to sneak past him. I tried to muffle my footsteps as best as I could. When I got in front of my room's door my hopes came crushing into the ground as I heard him.

"Where do you think you're going you little profligate?" I closed my eyes praying for him to not be in one of his famous moods today.

"Just going to my room, I need to do my homework, sir." He never allowed me to call him dad, daddy or even father. I was only supposed to address him as sir.

"No! I know about you! You have been sinning haven't you?" He screamed, I knew by his tone of voice that he was wasted. When he started talking about religion it could only mean one thing. I was in for a beating.

Since mom died he had become this crazy religious men that claimed I have sinned. Well at least that's how he was when he drank. He knew I was gay, he saw me kissing a girl about two years ago. He put it in his head that I was a mistake, that I was going to burn in hell and that I needed punishment. So one day he came back home with a whip, not an ordinary whip though, this one had a curved metal fang in its edge. He claimed it would take my sins away. He claimed he was saving me.

"Your mom would be so disappointed in you!" He screamed, tears starting to run down his cheek. He then shook his head.

"5 leashes should be enough for today." I cringed, it was not everyday he would use his whip. Normally he just went straight to kicks and punches.

No, the whip was only for special days. Probably something had happened today and he wanted to take his anger out on me, his personal punch bag. I tried to step back but he held me down making me knee on the floor, my back facing him. He tore my shirt exposing my back, already full of scars left by that same whip. I tried to protest.

"I haven't done anything sir!" He shook his head in disapproval.

"One more for lying!" I closed my eyes and cried silently not wanting anymore pain.

He then started his punishment. With every lash he would call me something. "Harlot, Fag, Nefarious, Degraded, Perverted, Deceiver...!" When he was finished he turned away and then just like that he walked out to his room. I tried my best to stop my tears from falling until I hear the door of his room close with a thud.

I then began to sob in pain as I crawled to the bathroom. I always kept a first aid kit hidden in there. As silently as I could I grabbed it and started to clean my wounds. It hurt awfully but I wouldn't dare make any noise, not when it could cause my father to wake up.

After a long time cleaning my wounds I went to bed, and lied on my stomach. I knew I had just gained a brand new set of scars for my already battered back.

I couldn't understand. I've always been good. I've never done drugs, drank or smoked. Never harmed anyone and always kept to myself, being kind to everyone. Why did I have a life like this? What did I do to deserve this? I just wanted it to end.

I wanted to run, to kill myself, take the easy route out. But I couldn't, I wouldn't be a coward and bail. I promised my mom I would be strong, that I would make anything in my power to succeed in life. I would survive. I would fight to live, for her.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. Tomorrow I had to work. I had to survive. Mom I'll make you proud, wherever you are, I'll make you proud.