about 3 weeks have passed since i started my job. changbin and i got our art project in, using his families gallery as reference. changbin and i had been getting more comfortable around each other, doing couple things even though we weren't officially a couple or anything. although we didn't have a label, we knew where we stood with each other which felt refreshing. nothing much else happened. i am now off training at the cafe and will be receiving full pay checks, oh and i think my brother is dating minho.

"good morning." i cheered as i twirled around changbin, pecking his lips. "i probably won't see you till later in the night after art because i have work straight after my classes." i pouted. "okay that's fine..." he seemed a bit more unenthusiastic today than most days. "is something wrong?" i wrapped my arms around his torso from behind him while he prepared himself a protein shake. "no." he shook his head. "nothing is wrong. you don't wanna be late so go. don't forget your pills. and make sure you eat breakfast every day will you?" he finished off, tossing his head around aggressively like a demanding father. i chuckled and nodded, chugging down my pills and vitamins before leaving for art with changbin.

"hello class. today i will be assigning you all an assignment!" my art professor cheered with fake happiness. the class groaned or sighed in response. "okay calm down don't get too excited." he snickered. "you will be expressing something important to you in any form of art, whether that be drawing, painting, sculpting or whatever. the list is endless. i want to see emotion in YOUR style of art." he finished. this assignment didn't seem half as bad as we all thought it was going to be.

i went to my english literature class after departing from art. my professor for english isn't as enthusiastic as my art teacher. she is probably around 50, dresses in earthy tones and makes everybody work in complete silence. which is okay with me considering i don't like loud people anyways. i had my head down, jotting down some unimportant notes that i'll probably never need in the future, then i felt some movement next to me. my head shot up to the side. jackson. "hi y/n." he smiled. great. all this avoidance for him to act completely normal. "hi jackson." i played along. he apologised for getting the wrong idea and told me he felt terrible about it for so long. he also invited me to a party being held in his dorm with his roommate.

he also told me i could bring my friends. i texted changbin first.

'hi binnie. remember that guy that tried to kiss me on our couch? yeah well he invited me to a party being held tomorrow night in his dorm and told me i could bring my friends. wanna go?

i hit send, but under the imessage, it didn't say delivered. i pressed down onto the message and clicked 'send as text message'.

what?

message not delivered?

ugh, his phone is probably dead. he always does this, this idiot needs to charge his phone during the night. i texted the rest of my friends and they all agreed.

"oh y/n you're here!" the familiar elderly cafe owner called out as the bells from the front door chimed, calling upon my arrival. "good afternoon miss." i smiled, placing my bag in the back room.

my short shift ended soon enough and i was now helping close up. "it was oddly busy tonight." i sighed, all the energy drained from me. "it's always like this on friday nights dear. all the regulars come in after their classes and work for donuts." she laughed at herself a little. ah she's so sweet.

i went to the back room, grabbed my bag and prepared to leave. "wait! y/n." i heard a soft voice call from behind me. i turned around to meet my boss. "here, have some left over croissants and donuts. share them with your boyfriend." she ushered them closer to me, insisted i take the brown paper bag filled with treats. "ah are you sure?" i hesitated. "yes dear, i won't eat all this by myself." she giggled and shoved the bag into my hand and walked off. how nice of her.

"CHANGBINNNN I HAVE ARRIVED!" i yelled as i swung open the door, arms open for changbin's embrace.

nothing.

"changbin?" i walked into the room, locking the door behind me.

no reply.

is he at the gym or something? i placed my bags in my room and walked back into the kitchen. i saw a big brown box on the table, so me being the curious woman i am, i opened it.

it's.... me?

there, inside the box, lays a large canvas that was once white. the canvas had been splattered with watercolour pastel colours. blue, purple, pink, a little bit of a deep yellow. atop of the splattered design was my face. just the outline of my face, hair and features, all outlined in black paint marker. i looked closely. it's beautiful. this painting contained every little feature of myself, not missing a single freckle or mark. i picked the piece up from the box and saw there was a folded white piece of paper laying in there. i picked it up.

dear y/n,

by the time you read this, i will be half way across the world.

this is my art for our assignment. i was told to express something important to me, so i did. i painted the most important thing in my life. the only important thing. which is you. i hope you like it.

i'm leaving. i don't know when i'll be back. i wish i could tell you why and i'm so sorry for not telling you today. i couldn't bring myself to do it. i know, it's selfish of me but i just couldn't. i want to ask you to wait for me, but that's also selfish. i want you to wait for me, but i don't know how long i'll be.

do you ever wish you could be born as someone else, or something else? like reincarnation.

i believe that in our past lives we were together. i also think that we will be together in our next lives. we will both be average people, with average families, average jobs, and average lives. there isn't anything i wouldn't do in order to have that life with you. but that can't happen right now.

please don't cry too much. i know you sook a lot, but please try.

eat breakfast every day. eat it every day until i come back. when i come back i promise i will make you breakfast for the rest of our lives.

take your pills every day. every single one of them. your antidepressants, women's multi vitamin, vitamin c, vitamin b, vitamin d, iron and magnesium. i bought new bottles because i noticed you were going to start running low soon.

don't try to contact me. i cant make this more complicated than in already is. i'm sorry again.

i love you,

changbin.