Dear Ms Ridley Denvers,

It gives us great pleasure to inform you that you have been offered a place in the class of 2016 in the University of Oxford.

After carefully reviewing your application, we have decided that your excellent attitude and enthusiasm for the course you have applied for is exactly what we look for in our students.

Attached to this letter, you will find all the necessary documents, such as an admissions package, along with information on how to accept this offer. Please respond within 4 weeks, as there are many other applicants who are waiting for any unaccepted spots!

We wish to once again congratulate you and we hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Oxford University Admissions

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"You're really leaving, huh?"

Ridley does not meet Ben's eyes and he sighs, fiddling with Ridley's acceptance letter in his hands. "I'm proud of you," he says. Awkward pause. "I mean it. I really am. You've worked really, really hard for this and—"

"Where will you be going?" Ridley interrupts him and its Ben's turn to look away and Ridley wishes she never even asked that question to him. But she's genuinely curious. He got his acceptance letter about a week before she got hers and he's been avoiding it for so long, and she's aching to know. "Ben," Ridley presses on and she reaches out to grab his hand but he quickly shifts away.

"Don't." His voice is hard. Ridley grimaces, though she's used to his brush offs by now. They haven't been the same since his confession, and their fight, and something has shifted between them and it's been killing Ridley for months. They barely talk now, only acknowledging each other if they're forced to, and it's worse now that he's officially quit working at Aroma.

"Ben, you're being really difficult right now," Ridley bursts out and suddenly she feels like her four year old self, all those years ago, when she smacked Ben's face with that book and all the composure she's had for all these months is crumbling down and now she's panicking because she only has a few more months with Ben before she goes to University, before he goes to University, and she fears that if she doesn't sort out their awkwardness it will stay there for the rest of their lives and they won't be friends anymore and, god, she's crying again. She cries so easily nowadays. "Ben, please." She gets up and walks away, shutting her eyes and breathing in slowly. "Please," she says, turning around to face him again. "Can't we just...just go back to being the way we were before? I just miss what was between us before everything got ruined and—"

"It's not easy, you know?" Ben sounds so angry. "It's not easy because you've never actually been in love before, have you? Look at you, all grown up and beautiful, and now you're an Oxford student with nothing but future essays to worry about. I – I don't want to love you but I can't seem to help myself. And knowing that you don't feel the same way kills me and you've been acting so casual about it, like nothing's changed—"

"It shouldn't, though!" Ridley groans. "Ugh, are we really having this conversation again? All I want is for us to be friends again, to be normal and just talk about things like the way we used to! And you think I have nothing to worry about? Oh, you know that's not true, Ben. God, you know I have so much on my plate right now. I have Marcy to worry about and – and I worry about you, too, because believe it or not you've become family to me. I love you Ben, so much. And when you act like this – all cold and distant – it makes me sad and it kills me just as much as it kills you."

Ben is crying now, too, and Ridley walks towards him and, tentatively, unsurely, wraps her arms around him and lets him cry softly into her shoulder, and she shuts her eyes and let's his scent mingle with hers. Ridley is suddenly reminded of a conversation they had so long ago and she is reminded of that fleeting moment when he had looked into her eyes and she'd had butterflies and she'd actually thought that she—well, it doesn't matter now, and she doesn't feel like thinking about it.

"University of Toronto," he tells her later, when they are sitting together on Ridley's couch, drinking Marcy's special hot chocolate that Ridley has made (it doesn't taste quite like how Marcy makes it, but it's still good). "That's where I'm going, Rids," he murmurs into his cup.

"Toronto." Ridley frowns. "Canada? You're going back to Canada?"

"It's the best place for me," He says. "They offer an excellent course and—"

"Course?" Ridley snaps. "Is that what you're really going all the way to a different country, a different continent, for? An excellent course?" She slams her cup of hot chocolate down on the table right in front of them and Ben winces as he watches some of it trickle down the cup.

"I—"

"And why didn't you tell me you were thinking of going there, Ben?" Ridley's voice trembles with anger. "You must've applied, what, about a few months ago? And you didn't think you should mention it to me?"

"I didn't even think they'd accept me when I applied!" Ben roars back at her. "And what's it to you, anyway, Ridley? I'm the one who's going to be going so I don't know why you're—"

"Ben, you know perfectly well why I'm mad at you!" Ridley cries. Ben does not reply. He does not even bother to hold her gaze for long, sighing and turning to face the large window to his left.

"Stop running away from your problems, Ben," Ridley murmurs, running her thumb across her lip, trying very hard to squash down the hard ache in her chest and the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes. She can feel a headache coming along, too. Perfect.

"I...I'm not running away." He says it so quietly that Ridley almost doesn't hear him. "I just..." Ben blows out a sigh. "You're right, Rids...I...us...we're growing up and we – I – need to move on. And the only way to do that is to just...just put some space between us. We're still going to stay in contact, obviously but I...just think this is what's best for me." He reaches out and takes hold of Ridley's hand to which she responds with a stifled gasp. Ben hasn't made any physical contact on her for so long and it feels so strange, yet so familiar at the same time and Ridley is on the verge of breaking down and telling him to stay, stay with her because she needs him so badly but she's just so scared and confused that all she can manage is a weak smile that does not reach her eyes.

"Is this a goodbye then?" she whispers. Ben chuckles and his hands move to cup her face, and he leans forward, and for one heart-stopping moment Ridley thinks he will kiss her again, but all he does is press his forehead against hers and she can't help feeling a pang of disappointment, though she tries very hard to ignore it.

Ben closes his eyes and inhales and exhales slowly, as though he is absorbing this very personal, very tragic, yet very intimate moment between them and Ridley does the same, except she does not close her eyes. She takes it all in and she captures the way he looks so still and calm, and almost at peace, and she takes in the three freckles on the tip of his nose, the faint trace of a scar just slightly above his left eyebrow and she recalls – quite suddenly – that it was due to a fight he'd had with Trevor Bullsworth in Year three when Trevor had teased Ridley about her hair. Only now does she realize why he'd done it. She'd always thought he'd fought with the boy because he wanted to show off to the other girls. It had never occurred to Ridley that he had done it for her. And slowly, every memory she's ever had of him, all the little things he did for her, they all become so clear to her. Subliminal messages that she'd never picked up on until this very moment.

"It is goodbye," Ben says finally as he opens his eyes, his beautiful, ocean-like eyes that Ridley has come to adore so much, "but just for now, I promise."

"You promise for sure?" Ridley feels so young, so vulnerable and she is suddenly transported back to the days when she'd ask that to her father, before she learnt to avoid him, and she remembers how he'd give her a defeated smile and say 'I promise, baby' but he'd never mean it, but she'd still believe him and let herself be disappointed when he didn't fulfil his promise. But when Ben looks at her and he smiles, their foreheads still pressed together, their lips just inches away from touching, she knows he'll keep his promise, even when he hasn't said it yet.

"Promise," he affirms.

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