Shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it

Had a feeling that you never felt it

I always knew that you were too damn selfish

Don't know why I looked the other way

Amelia unwinded the blue lace scarf from around her neck as she hung it up on her brother's porch, heading towards the living room, having the way memorised by how many times she had visited, whether it was to see her brother Isaac or Roy. She made herself comfortable on the white sofa as Isaac brewed some coffee, asking her how many sugar cubes she liked with it. "Is Roy not home?" she asked curiously, looking around the room as her brother shook his head, glancing at her momentarily. "No. He's actually in Avonlea, went to go buy some stuff they don't sell here. Said he might give you a visit later on."

Amelia smiled contently, as she hadn't seen Roy in a couple of weeks. She took a sip of the hot drink in her hands, sighing as she pressed her lips together. "So...how are you doing?" Amelia rolled her eyes at her brother's question, raising an eyebrow. "You're not my therapist, so shove off." Isaac chuckled, leaning back as he pursed his lips.

"Anne told me about the fight between you two and Diana...you haven't spoken ever since?" Amelia staid silent for a few seconds, debating what to say, before sighing tiredly, rubbing her weary eyes. "What, are you on her side now?" Isaac shook his head, putting his cup down before rubbing his hands together. "I'm not on anybody's side. I just want to talk about some things you said-" Amelia stood up, the chair's legs scrapping against the dark wood floor, rearranging the napkins, dusting her dress off. "I don't need a lecture right now, Isaac." she quickly walked away, immediately followed by her brother who grabbed her wrist, trying to stop her from leaving.

Amelia shook his hand off, anger bubbling up inside her again as she avoided his gaze. "Why do you push everyone away, Amelia? You're being irrational, and as soon as anyone tries to help you or listen to you, you get angry and walk away." he paused, breathing heavily as he stared at his sister's sad and distant look, before adding "Talk to me, Covey."

Amelia licked her lips, her eyes darting around as she realised her brother was right. She pushed everyone away, even herself. She realised that not once did she have a moment to herself to gather her thoughts and what she wanted to do with her future, how she wanted to proceed. "You're right." she muttered, and Isaac's eyebrows shooted up in surprise. "I'm right? Can you repeat that once more?" Amelia rolled her eyes, a playful smile sitting on her face as she slightly pushed her brother. "Idiot." he shrugged, a smirk on display.

"I need a quiet moment to gather my thoughts. I realise that I haven't had one in a while and it'd do be some good." her brother nodded, smiling at the fact his sister was taking care of herself mentally. "Why don't you take father's boat into the Lake of Shining Waters?" Amelia tilted her head, considering his proposal. "That's actually not a bad idea." Isaac wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on top of her head. She slowly separated himself, looking up with a smile. "So...your engagement?"

Her brother blushed, a grin on his face as he looked away, nodding. "We won't get married yet, but...I just wanted to make it official." Amelia pulled him into a hug again, feeling his heartbeat in his chest. "I'm happy for you, big brother."

Amelia dragged the rusty old boat near the shore, dropping it mid water as she dusted herself off. Knowing she might get dirty, she found a pair of Isaac's old trousers and a dirty shirt, matched with some boots. She looked at the lake, admiring how the sun light sparkled on the surface of the water, giving her a sense of calmness and peace, something she needed in that very moment. She looked down at the boat, a whisper of doubt in her head as she stared at the old pieces of wood, but shook her head. She needed this.

She fully pushed the boat in the shore of the lake, her feet sinking in the wet sand as she climbed on, grabbing the oars and sticking them into the water before pushing the boat fully in, driving the boat deep into the water. Once she found herself in the middle of it, near the bridge that crossed the whole lake before she stopped rowing.

Looking up at the sky, she closed her eyes, sighing contently at the feel of the warm sun on her face, hoping she'd get some freckles. She let go of every trouble, every worry that had been occupying her mind for a long time. A blue butterfly landed on her hand, making her eyes flicker open as she stared down at the butterfly. It fluttered away, stopping at the head of the small boat. Amelia stared at it for a few seconds, and then pulled out her notebook. Her fingers wrapped themselves against the pencil, and once she did that, she didn't put it down until she had finished.

Once she tucked it away, she realised there was a wet substance on the soles of her feet. She looked down, and not a second passed before she gasped, hugging her legs as she stared at the hole in the corner of the boat. How hadn't she realised?

In a state of panic, her head flicked around her surroundings, before realising the shore was too far to swim to. The closest thing was...the bridge. She looked down, realising the boat was sinking fast. She rowed as close as she could to the bridge, but once it was no use she jumped out, kicking her legs and arms as strong as she could as the wet clothes dragged her down. She wrapped her arms around one of the collar beams.

She rested her tired head against her arms, swearing softly under her breath. About half an hour passed before she saw someone in the shore. She narrowed her eyes, not sure who it was. She cleared her throat, shouting as loud as she could to get herself heard. "I need help!" the person looked at her, got into his own boat and slowly rowed towards her. Amelia sighed in relief, holding as tight as she could as she waited for the boat to stop next to her.

When she looked up, her smile faded, staring at Gilbert's sheep face avoiding her gaze. The blonde opened her mouth, before shutting it, agape with no clue what to say. "Here, let me help." she stared at his hand, realising there really wasn't any other choice, grabbed his hand, helping her get up on his boat. He continued rowing to the shore, trying to get her to safety as the blonde looked at him curiously. "What are you doing here, Gil?" Gilbert blushed at the nickname as Amelia didn't realise she had slipped out the nickname she used for him.

"Bash asked me to do some fishing for dinner." Amelia nodded, not asking any further as a silence overcame them. "How long where you stranded there for?" a bit of colour heated her face, licking her lips as she stared at the water. "I'm not sure...half an hour maybe." his brown eyes digger to her, noticing her limp wet hair and how her clothes stuck to her body. He stopped rowing, wriggling out of his jacket before handing it to the blonde.

Amelia stared at him shocked, not knowing what to do, before grabbing it and wrapping it around her shoulders, muttering a thank you. Another moment of silence passed before it was broken again. "Look, Amy, I...know things between us have shifted..." Amelia scoffed softly, raising her eyebrows slightly. "...but I...Winifred's parents are expecting me to propose."

Her eyebrows shooted even further up, gulping softly as her blue eyes stared at Gilbert. He was going to...propose? When she didn't answer, Gilbert continued rowing, and added "That would mean I would get to go to Souvurne, a university I would never be able to attend because of the lack of money. But..." he trailed off, looking back up at her, meeting her eyes as they shared a level of connection they had never before shared. A sad smile appeared on her face, realising this might be the last alone time with him. "That's your dream, isn't it?" it took him a few moments to nod slowly, a light shrug.

She shook her head, frowning in confusion. Why was he telling her this? To soften the blow? The pain was hard enough. "I don't understand then. You've got a nice girl who you care for, your dream university and a good future in your bag. What's stopping you?" a knowing smile spread onto his face, the boat arriving on the shore. "You know what, Amy." he stared at her, awaiting an answer as the blonde looked at him perplexed. Deep down, that's what she wanted to hear, but not what she expected. Her expectations had been low, thinking she'd have to attend his wedding to something else. "Gilbert, I-"

"Marry me, Amelia."

yo yo yo! what up?

what'd u think about

that cliffhanger?

i'll give u a clue...

her response leans towards good

how's the quarantine going?

i hope you're all staying home

and safe, remember, it's for your

safety and everyone surrounding u

i thought i would be able

to update more frecuently

but geez!

the amount of homework

i get set online is nuts

for the sequel of this fanfic

i'm in between choosing florence pugh

or lily james as an older

amelia

what y'all think?

fun fact!

i've made it my personal

goal to learn EVERY taylor

swift song this quarantine