The thought that Lumi held slipped past as Josiah's words interrupted.

"The Winter Ball is in the next few weeks."

She turned to look at him.

"It's that time already..."

He smiled at her. They were sitting in his study together. Josiah insisted that Lumi read through every law they had written. He wanted her input on the rules they had created. But Lumi was confused on what formula or method they used to determine how to create these laws.

Nothing but their own judgement? Nothing but their own thoughts and interpretations? Did Josiah and Soter- the council members- did they go to the people? Did they know the people? Lumi barely even knew them herself.

"They pushed back the date because of Elowen's condition and their son being born, but it's actually coming at a good time. I need to show Theros the steps we are thinking of taking to secure our border, and what he plans to do about his own guard."

Lumi stared out the window. She felt very tired, but she didn't know how to tell Josiah this. She had never felt this way before. Part of her wanted him to notice, but Lumi knew that there would be no reason for him to suspect something was amiss. She always smiled when he called for her and embraced him when he asked.

"I don't think I want to go..." her eyes flickered to Josiah, watching his reaction to see how he would take this information in. She saw him stiffen. He slowly set down the document he was holding, turning to take her fully in.

"You don't want to go?"

"I don't want to leave Kestrel." That was the main reason. But Lumi knew there was a deeper part that sighed at the thought of traveling. Seeing Theros. Seeing the people. Talking. Conversing. Showing something she didn't feel much of these days.

Josiah's head tilted. She watched him think through her words. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, a tired motion that she was used to now.

"I suppose...it would be best to not leave the activity here unattended...but...I would love to have you with me..." his words trailed away as he thought more about it. "Are you sure?"

Lumi smiled, "I think this is the best plan."

He frowned and leaned forward, kissing her cheek. "I hate to leave you..."

He pulled back and suddenly smiled down at her. "I have fond memories of the ball you know."

"Yes," she rolled her eyes, "I know..."

He stared down at her, leaning further in so that his lips grazed her own. Through their contact, he pulled back just enough for Lumi to be able to look into his dark eyes.

"Do you remember the dress you wore? The men could not take their eyes off of you. You let me dance with you three times and I felt like a goddess had granted me a blessing."

She laughed, "you were kind. I wasn't used to that. It made me want to be with you longer before the night ended."

He tilted his head, "you never told me that..." Something sad seemed to pass through his eyes. "And now, Lumi? Do you think I'm that same man? Or do you find me changed in some way?"

She touched his cheek, "I see you. Sometimes. I know you're there."

His smile seemed pained as he pulled back, "you are the light of my life, Lumikki Idalia Lukariah. Please don't forget that."

He kissed the back of her hand and then stood. "I have to start preparing if you are going to stay here while I go."

Lumi watched his retreating back, taking in his quick smile before he closed the door behind. She felt a shaky weakness inside her. Like she wanted to cry for no reason.

She wanted to tell Josiah how much she found his words to be a burden to her soul.

* * *

Josiah's journey to the Winterlands was a quiet one. He found it ironic that he was leaving his dark county, but the light seemed to stay behind- even when the sun was ahead of him.

The days passed in peace, and Josiah thought the silence would end him.

He missed her.

He wanted this event to be over and done. For the first time, he felt eagerness at the thought of going back home.

The days of travel passed until they finally arrived at the Winter Palace. He grimaced at the sight of the Winter King and Queen who were waiting outside.

When he stepped out of the carriage alone, he felt their wandering eyes searching for another presence, before realization set in.

"Welcome, King Josiah," he could hear the disappointment in the Winter Queen's voice. He smiled at that. He nodded to the both of them, pulling out a letter that had been tucked into his pocket and presenting it to her.

"Lumi apologizes," he whispered, "but she didn't want to leave Kestrel behind."

Elowen smiled at the offering and eagerly took the letter. "Thank you."

After the greetings were exchanged, Josiah was shown into his room. His arrival came a day before the ball would begin. Tired from the travel, he immediately went to sleep.

The next evening, he had that same feeling in his chest while he stood in the grand ballroom.

He missed her.

He looked around the room, thinking of the last time he had been there. The last time he had been a witness to her late arrival and the silence that had fallen when she made her presence known.

He half expected her to come in now- swirling silk and chaos. He wouldn't be surprised at all.

Josiah closed his eyes, and when he opened them he saw the summer prince staring at him.

Their contact prompted the male to start making his way towards Josiah.

"Damn," he whispered. Talking to her brother was the last thing he wanted.

He stopped several feet away, an uneasy but determined look in his eyes.

"King Josiah," the male bowed his head slightly.

"Prince Dakarai."

Josiah was about to walk away when the male's words stopped him.

"It's a boy?"

Josiah turned to look at him in irritation.

"Yes...how would you know that though?"

The summer prince tilted his head but didn't say a word. He looked at Josiah several more seconds before speaking, "I have...I have news...that she should know..."

"What news could you possibly tell her?"

Josiah was about to say more, but the expression on the male's face stopped him. There was a deep sorrow- something close to agony- in the eyes Josiah saw now.

"Our father...our father," the summer prince's voice cut off, strangled by the tears Josiah saw now. "Our father passed away. A month ago. She should know."

Josiah felt his heart racing. He wanted to grab his chest to stop the painful movement. He wanted to grab the summer prince's chest. He wanted to scream.

Why should he tell her that? Why should he tell her something that would only bring sorrow?

As if sensing his hesitation, the male stepped forward, a hardness coming to his eyes.

"You must know- the last thing he asked for before he closed his eyes- the last thing he asked for was her."

Josiah inhaled sharply. That was too much. That was not something he wanted to tell her.

"What good would it do?" Josiah whispered, "I told you to leave. To stay away. All you do is cause her pain and this is just proof to my words."

The male was crying. Josiah could see Theros' rise from his seat in the distance. Something about the confrontation was causing a stir. Josiah just wanted all of them to leave him alone. To leave him and Lumi alone. Couldn't they see she was with him now? She was his wife and his to protect and not theirs?

"She has a right to know," the prince hissed.

"What right? You cut yourself from her. You took away that right."

The prince stepped closer until Josiah could feel his furious breath on his face.

"You don't decide her actions or dictate her movements. You don't limit her choices or her freedoms. I seem to have to constantly be reminding you of these things. You both," his eyes flashed to Theros who was making his way towards them, "you both are Kings who have the notion that she is something fragile. Why can't you see! Why are you all blind!"

The prince's hands shot out, grabbing Josiah's shoulders. Many people had spread out around them, their eyes wide as they took in the sight.

"Where is she? Why is she not here? Did you already lock her away in your hell? In your darkness?"

Josiah couldn't breathe as the male shook him. The warrior strength that was felt knocked his teeth together. He heard shouting from his guards and then fighting from summer guards as well until the booming voice of Theros was heard.

"Enough!"

The summer prince let go of him. Josiah knew there would be bruises from where his fingers had dug in a desperate attempt to make him realize something.

"Prince Dakarai. Leave."

"I was going to anyway," the prince said, looking around as he took in the wide fearful gazes of the watchers. Josiah had a sudden notion of just how savage the male before him looked with his pink scars so openly displayed on his dark skin and the long hair that knotted and fell down his back.

He left without another word, his guard following close behind.

"My King-,"

Josiah held up a hand looking at his men, "I am fine. Thank you."

He turned to Theros. The two looked at each other before Theros stepped closer.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife," Josiah said, raising an eyebrow as he looked past the male to see Elowen sitting alone.

"I will go to her. Don't worry about that," Theros growled. Josiah looked at him, sensing a threat somewhere in his words.

"What did you say to the summer prince to upset him."

Josiah narrowed his eyes, "is that your concern, Winter King?"

He watched as the male grit his teeth together, anger flashing in his eyes, "I will only ask one more time. What did you say to the summer prince to upset him."

"I said nothing," Josiah murmured, "he and his whole family are the ones who created this mess."

Theros watched Josiah. He felt unnerved from his stare. Suddenly the male stepped forward, "follow me."

Josiah winced, wanting nothing more than to do the opposite, but he still went through with the command. He stepped out behind Theros as both men stood on a balcony. The ballroom laid behind them- the noise and music muffled by the open air they now stood in.

Josiah stood next to Theros. He wondered if this had ever occurred before. Just the two of them. No one else, no other presence.

His thoughts were interrupted when Theros spoke, "why did she not come?"

His words were a whisper. Josiah almost did not catch them. He turned to face the male. "I told you already. She is with Kestrel."

Theros sighed and lifted his head, raising it to the air as his eyes closed. His breath made a fog rise above. There was a moment of silence before Theros spoke again.

"There is more than that Josiah. You should know."

Josiah pushed off the railing, frustrated now with how this evening had turned out. This was the last male he wanted to be talking to and the last conversation he wanted to have. But Theros grabbed his arm before he could leave.

"Why did she not come, Josiah?"

There was a weakness in his voice that made Josiah shiver.

"Let go of me," he said, pulling back. He turned to Theros, glaring, "stop concerning yourself with my wife."

Theros smiled at him and Josiah felt like screaming.

"There's something wrong, isn't there? I don't know what it is. But I know her. You may wish I didn't. But I do."

"Nothing is wrong. We are both happy. You are trying to see things that are not there."

"She does well...hiding behind that smile...it fooled me also. Before I watched her fall apart in my arms. Before I saw how broken she really was."

Theros stepped close to Josiah, blue eyes like the tips of fire.

"You can't use her in that way, Josiah. I see it- in the way you talk about her. How you looked at her when you were last here. You can't put her on a pedestal and then leave her all alone there."

Josiah laughed, "Will you ever be able to let her go?"

The flicker of anger died out in Theros' eyes. He tilted his head, and a smile came over the male's face. Josiah felt like running away as he looked at it. It was an expression that did not match the anger and confusion he was used to seeing from Theros. This was a look of peace. Of acceptance. Of happiness that Josiah thought he knew, but was beginning to realize he didn't.

"As much as you may hate the thought, Josiah- in this life she is my soul mate. But she cannot be the love of my life. I've already given that title to another."

Josiah felt like he was going to be sick as he whispered, "you are not her soulmate. You told me once that you gave her to me- that despite this she does not belong to me. But she doesn't belong to you either."

Theros laughed, "it seems you did not understand my words, Josiah. Did I say she was mine in that meeting? I did give her to you. And I did say that she is not yours. But that is because she belongs to nobody. She is her own person, Josiah. It took me time to realize this truth also."

"Go back to your wife. The mother of your child. The one you so easily abandoned," Josiah whispered, his voice unable to hide the shake in emotion that was heard.

He watched as Theros sighed, looking past him into the ballroom. Josiah saw the smile on the male's face. Again- that same look of content happiness. Of peace.

Josiah had felt jealous of Theros many times, but this was another moment he could add to the list. Before Theros left, he found himself unable to resist. Unable to stop himself as he asked.

"How can I make her happy?"

He didn't know why he asked this male. This male out of all of them that had made her so sad in the first place. That had played a hand in setting her in darkness. In shutting out her light. In giving her to Josiah, to start the beginning of her downfall.

Theros turned to stare at Josiah. There was a hardness in his gaze. Josiah knew then, that there was no real answer. Nothing he would be able to tell him.

And Theros could see that realization.

"I wondered the same thing," he whispered, before walking away.

* * *

Lumi stared into the darkness. Josiah had been gone for two weeks now and in those two weeks, she had settled into her routine of life.

The staff adored that she worked in the kitchen with them. They talked among themselves in happiness over their Queen's gentle smile, how she always held her son. The laughter that could be heard from her. The way she knew their names and how she greeted them.

"I want to visit the towns," she whispered to Ramus. She could see the hesitation in his eyes, but he eventually gave in.

She went there, talking and conversing. Trying to understand the culture that Josiah had cursed at. There seemed to be none at the surface. Nothing because the Kingdom had made it so.

"Do you practice any of the old religions or customs?" she asked Ramus.

He shook his head, "my parents did. But...I chose to forgo them."

"Can I ask you...why?"

She watched him think about it. "I don't know. I just didn't want to be like them."

Lumi couldn't understand those words. She wanted to ask more but knew her questions made Ramus uncomfortable.

She thought of her own parents, and the pride they had shown when she completed the training under her grandfather. Her mother had not wanted that life for her. She had wanted Lumi to marry into a royal family. Her father had wanted whatever she felt was right.

Until the day she made a decision that was not right for her- but for the Kingdom.

"When will Josiah be back?" She missed him. She wanted comfort and warmth. She wanted to watch him hold Kestrel. She wanted to feel his hands on her skin and his whispers to her in the dark while they were alone with only each other.

"He should be back soon, My Queen."

Lumi went hunting. Ramus disapproved but he gave in. Lumi had to smile at his words that were said, but actions that did the opposite.

She spent hours in the woods, becoming lost in the darkness. She looked up at the moon, thinking of why the people of this land should curse its presence.

She felt sorrow. At least something was here to cast light. At least they were not completely abandoned. At least something had seen their pain and decided to stand guard above.

"What do you think of the moon," Lumi asked Ramus as they laid on the forest floor. They were waiting for Elk to come out, but her question in the silence startled him.

"The moon, My Queen?"

She nodded and pointed to the figure in the sky, "what do you think of it?"

He tilted his head, "what am I supposed to think of it?"

"I wonder if it would shine brighter, if you loved it as much as you love the sun."

Ramus turned to stare at her. He slowly raised his hand, feeling his Queen's forehead. She swatted his hand away. "I do not have a fever."

Their conversation went silent at the presence of the Elk. Hours later, when returning to the castle, Ramus stopped.

Lumi turned back to face him. There was a conflict in his eyes as he stared at his Queen.

"Is something wrong Ramus?"

He looked away before sighing, a frustrated sound rising in his throat.

"May I speak freely?"

"Of course," she said, curious about what it was he had to say.

Ramus looked up. Lumi could see the nervous movement of his throat as the knob of it bobbed up and down.

"I can't help but notice that you...you are not yourself."

Lumi smiled at Ramus and stepped forward. "Thank you for noticing. I'm sorry if I worried you."

He shook his head, "the King will be back soon. But..." he swallowed and Lumi tilted her head as he looked around, "I was born of the Galexious Kingdom. And I know my King is a good man. But if you ever wish to go anywhere. To leave. I swear to protect you."

Lumi reached forward, touching Ramus' cheek briefly before pulling away.

"Thank you, Ramus."

He bowed his head, "my Queen."

She looked up at him for several more seconds, before smiling once again and making her way back to the palace.

As promised, Ramus followed.

* * *

Lumi bounced on the tips of her toes, holding Kestrel while they stood in front of the palace doors. A messenger had come to them announcing the King would be arriving in the next hour.

She waited there now, her eagerness able to be seen by all of the staff.

Soon the doors opened and a tired but smiling Josiah appeared before them.

Kestrel immediately opened his arms. Lumi could not help but smile at the pure joy that spread across Josiah's face from the sight.

"Hello," he said, taking Kestrel in his arms and kissing the top of his son's head.

He reached for Lumi pulling her close to his side as he kissed her lips gently.

"Hello," he whispered again to her.

"Welcome home," she said.

He smiled, "I missed you."

She rose on her toes and kissed him again, "I missed you also."

He pulled back and looked around the room, smiling as he took it all in.

But then his smile fell as he looked back down at his wife.

She noticed and asked, "what's wrong?"

"Lumi...let's go to my study...there is something I have to tell you."