When she wakes, Madison doesn't know where she is.

She's not in her bed, she realises, her brows furrowing, for the bed below her seems to move slightly, and when Madison opens her eyes, she sees Nick's face. Horror washes through her, fast and alarming.

It's a school day, is all she can think.

They're tangled up in each other, Madison pressing her face into Nick's chest, Nick's arms wrapped around her tightly, in the messy fort they had thrown together the night before. She's never been so clear-headed, never been so fraught with horror, and Madison is utterly terrified of the feelings coursing through her.

Because, God, this feels... right?

Madison begins to push away, unable to think, but Nick's arms are like iron, as he shifts in his sleep. He mumbles a little, his fingers dragging distractedly over her shoulder. Something in her heart aches at the sight of his messy hair, at the way he's protectively wrapped her close to him, as though he means to shield her.

"Nick," Madison hisses out at him, trying to move out of his arms. "Nick. Wake up!"

He murmurs something sleepily against her bare shoulder and though she doesn't hear it, she feels the form of his mouth. Madison is a tight coil of bound emotions, stilling.

It's a school day, it's a school day, it's a school day –

"What did you say?"

Nick blinks sleepily, his voice raspy with sleep. "I'm sleepy?"

"No, you just told me something," Madison says, her words rather fraught and her voice thin.

He lies smoothly but he's flushing. "I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did," Madison insists, her fingers slipping against his bare chest. Her heart patters away like the wings of a hummingbird. "I'm not an idiot."

"I said I was sleepy," Nick huffs, but his cheeks are still pink.

They're scrambling away from each other, the sheets slipping around them, and Madison immediately feels the absence of Nick's warm arms around her. She stares at him, antsy, and realises faintly, that she doesn't know what Nick is to her, anymore.

She knows the line of his face, knows his fury, knows his lust. She knows everything about him.

And it terrifies her.

"It's a school night," Nick says, his voice hoarse with horror, as he stares at her.

"We broke the rules," Madison adds mutely. "How could we break the rules?"

Nick is examining himself, his fingers tugging at his sleeves, before his head lifts up.

"We didn't – we didn't even sleep together," he says, his brows furrowed.

They're both staring at each other, in some vague terrified horror, and Madison feels the words rise within her. She's breathing hard, looking at Nick's own panicked face, and God, she wants to say it, but she's terrified. Instead, she shakes her head at him.

"The contract's off!" Madison says quickly. "You need to get out – we've –,"

"Yeah, it's off," Nick says, just as fast.

When he leaves in a hurry, the soft pink of dawn spilling into the room, Madison stares after Nick, with something like regret in her heart.

*

"You look beautiful, Madison," her father is saying, warmly. "Just like your mother."

Once, Madison thinks, she would have considered that such a compliment. Once, she would have let the ghost of a pleased smile skirt around the edges of her lips, like a kiss. She knew she was beautiful like her mother, for nobody had ever stopped themselves to mention it. Lately, Madison's been yearning to know what she is, without her mother's name hanging over her.

It seems like it's only been Nick, she thinks and remembers, that night on the rooftop, when he'd told her she looked beautiful. Madison flushes hotly, her cheeks red.

"What do you want?" she demands brusquely. "I'm not here for your flattery."

"I know, I know, I – couldn't help myself," her father says, and the way he looks at her, with fond adoration all over his face hurts her heart. "I'm grateful that you are here, Madison. That you're listening to me."

"Mother told me what you did and that you won't sign the divorce papers," Madison says, the words like poison from her lips. "I don't see how you can make any excuses I would believe."

Her mother had told her that her father had cheated and fled with the secretary to the city, to one of their offices. Mother had been disgusted and called it a travesty of a cliché, her lip curling, and Madison had remembered feeling so hurt she couldn't breathe. She had asked after her father, had asked when he might return to her, but her mother only rebuffed her claim.

"Hopefully, never," her mother had spat out, venomous. "And you shouldn't be so hopeful, either, Madison. He's left us both and good riddance to him, too."

Her father looks pained, but Madison hardens her heart. She doesn't so much as pick up her fork, but he reaches to fiddle with the napkin before him. Mother would chew her out relentlessly, if she were thoughtless enough to do such a thing, and wonders whether she got her bad habits from her father.

Typical, she thinks. Of all the things to be handed down.

"I know and I'm sorry. I won't ever stop saying sorry, Madison," her father tells her. "I never should have left the two of you. I should have never – I have regretted it every day since. Your mother's words that day – they really resonated with me. I had been feeling caged for a while, trapped in my job, in the office. I had to – I had to get out."

"So you left me," Madison says, and God, she hates how her voice breaks a little. "I mean, us. You left us."

Her father has tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Madison," he tells her, tears tracking his cheeks. "I was selfish and thoughtless and cowardly. I never should have left you. I love you so much, sweetheart, and I should have shown that. I should have stayed. I should have been a father."

For a moment, Madison feels she might crack apart.

She stares across the table at her father, who is crying quietly, and beseeching her, a yearning light in his eyes. He is all but begging for her forgiveness, burning for her to let him back into her life again. Her mother doesn't even know about this stupid dinner – Becky had accidentally handed her the ringing phone and Madison had answered, without realising. The housekeeper had told her that she'd accepted the offer and that was when Madison had shouted at her to keep her nose out of her business.

She had wanted to cancel the offer almost immediately, but Becky had begged her not to.

Madison had been in shock – even after scolding her housekeeper badly, Becky still wanted her to go to her father? The rest of the staff in her house had, to her increasing shock, agreed, and without quite knowing how, Madison was in a car, listening to Louie's soft, rumbling voice as he spoke about the joy of seeing his own children, going to see her father.

The thought of Louie being a father to his children makes her jaw tighten. Louie's children had a father, Madison thinks bitterly. Her own mother was barely around, and she only had housekeeping staff and her friends and Nick – well, she had Nick.

Her stomach sinks.

"If you're getting emotional," Madison says, her voice sharp as a whip, "then I can't be bothered to deal with you. I'm not sitting here to listen to you moan about what you should have done or how you'd have done it, if you had the chance. You can't go back in time to fix things, whether you like it or not. So what do you want? Money?"

Her father splutters.

"Money?" he repeats, his voice incredulous as he stares at her. "Madison, first, I require respect when you speak to me. I am still your father, young lady. Your mother may have let you get away with speaking so crudely, but I won't. And – money? Sweetheart, is that how your life has been? Not everything is about money."

"Yes," Madison says, rankled from his comments and smarting painfully. "Everything is about money. Mother says that. So what is your price? How much for you signing the divorce papers and getting out of our lives for good?"

Her tone is too sharp and thin, and her usually strong composure is crumpling apart. It's the way he calls her sweetheart. It's too nice and warm and affectionate and fatherly and – she can't deal with it.

"I am not here for money, Madison," her father says sternly. "God, what is your mother teaching you?" He shakes his head. "I am here for you. I am here to be the father I should have been." His gaze drops. "You haven't touched your food."

"I'm not hungry," Madison says, sharply.

"You look hungry," he says, just as sharp. "I've received reports from school. Worrying things. Some of the teachers think that you've taken on too much to handle. The exams are over, but they worry about this – this work that your mother's apparently set you? You seem to be doing three or four things at once, almost all the time. Even Louie is worried for you. And the nurse says you fainted in the school corridor, too?"

Madison thinks of Nick in the nurse's room, her cheeks flaring red.

She's slightly flustered, as she reaches for some cool water. Her father's gaze is affectionate, but filled with concern as he looks at her, waiting for answers. Madison doesn't know what to say, her mouth going dry with nervousness, because she's not used to anyone – other than Nick – actually noticing things about her and caring for them, questioning her about them.

Her father inclines his head. "Madison?"

"I'm fine," she snaps, her voice too sharp and defensive, as her father's gaze hardens. Madison takes a breath. "I'm sorry for sounding disrespectful. But I am fine. My teachers are exaggerating. I'm just doing extracurriculars to hash out my CV, for when I go into the company when school finishes. Why are you talking to my driver?"

"Are you certain you want to go into the company?" her father asks, his brows furrowed in concern. "Don't you want to explore a little? Maybe find something else you might like?"

The idea does appeal to her, but it's coming from her father.

"No."

He looks disappointed, his face crumpling a little, and Madison feels a pang of guilt curl in her stomach.

"I hired Louie for you," he murmurs, by way of answer, and Madison blinks in surprise. She hadn't known that. Her father lifts his head. "And the fainting? He tells me that your mother's got you on some diet –,"

"It's a healthy diet," Madison says defensively, though she's not sure why she's so defensive. "I like my body to be healthy."

It's a horrible diet and it almost killed her, but the slight judgement in his tone when he talks of her mother rankles her.

"But you fainted –,"

"I forgot to eat that day," she lies through her teeth, straightening her back. "I was in such a rush with the exam that I forgot. It's an easy mistake. Most of the students in my class fainted."

Her father looks slightly more relieved now, clearly swallowing her lies, and Madison realises that she's feeling a little disappointed. She realises that she'd wanted him to see through her lies, just as Nick does, to call her out on them, and to make her spill the truth from her lips. She wants him to look like he cares for her.

"Oh," he is saying. "I do want you to take better care of yourself, though. Make sure to eat all your fruits and vegetables, that sort of thing." He hesitates a little and lets out a breath. "I work for the government, Madison. It's a – well, I'm not entirely at liberty to say everything, but I do lock away criminals and the like. It's rewarding work. I'm not saying you should go for my route and follow my footsteps, but I do think you should maybe dabble in other things, before deciding on your mother's company –,"

Madison is defensive and irked, her brows furrowing together in annoyance.

"Stop it," she snaps at him, lifting herself from her seat as her fingers push against the dinner plate, clattering the fork noisily. "I already told you that I won't listen to any of your advice and I don't care about disrespecting you. You're being judgemental about Mother, even though you're the one who cheated on her with that secretary, like a stupid, goddamn cliché! You're acting like you're my father, but you lost that right, years ago! And even if you keep hounding me, like some stupid puppy, trying to make things right again, I'm not going to change my mind about you! I don't want to see you ever again."

She swallows a sob, picks up her bag, and storms out of the restaurant, as fast as she can.

When Louie drives up to pick her up, Madison's stomach is filled with betrayal, and she is already pulling out her phone to call Nick, when she stops herself. Instead, she makes herself call Marie, who comes to pick her up, without question.

Madison doesn't cry in Marie's car, but she leans against her friend's shoulder heavily. She takes comfort from her embrace, pretending she doesn't miss the arms of another around her.