It Was Mothers Day Today And I Was Stuck In Rehab,Thinking Back About How Badly I've Acted These Past Months I Didn't Deserve To Enjoy This Day Cause I Been A Bad Mother Thats What I Keep Tellin My Self In My Head

I Haven't Seen My Baby In The Longest...He Probably Doesn't Even Know That Im His Mama Anyone I've Been Away From Him For So Long

One Thing About Being Sober Is That You No Longer Are Allowed To Hid From All Your Pain And Fears

In Rehab I Thought About So Much But Im Coming To The Conclusion That My Life Was All Apart Of God's Plan

I Been Talkin To Him Latey Asking Him To Forgive Me,Beggin For His Strength, Praising His Glory

He's Been Helpin Me Get Through This...I Made Up With My Mother,Forgave My Father And Reconnected With My Best Friend August..... It Must Be The Love Of God Carryin Me On The Right Because There Is No Other Explanation

It Was An Rainy Day And I Was Staring Out The Window Watchin The Rain Come Down I Could Hear My Grandmother Voice Ringing In My Head Sayin "If Nobody Loves You Grandma Love You Always"

I Was Holding On To Those Words Inside My Heart I Missed My Grandma Dearly

But She Wasn't Coming Back No Time Soon,Ive Finally Realized That She Was Never Was Mine She Was The Lords First She Belonged To Him My Selfish Heart Just Had A Grip On Her

I Now Know She Is With Every Day That I Wake Up,Everytime I Open My Eyes,Every Time I Breathe And Every Night That I Dream

Everything Happens For A Reason Sometimes We May Not Understand Those Reason But We Must Trust In Those Reason

I Was Literally Learning Something New Every Day Growing More And More Things Were Goin Good For Me I Found My Self Staring In The Mirror At This Imperfect Not So Broken Woman And I Was Lovin This Woman I Was Becoming More And More

I Could Feel Myself Becoming Stronger More Than Ever Before

Ms.Jane Mae Walked In And Said "I Love The Rain Its Refreshing Everything"

"I Used To Hate The Rain...It Used Make Me Feel Afraid And Lonely...Now I Kind Of Like Rain"I Said

She Stood Next To Me Staring At Rain "You'll Be Leaving Soon...I Always Tell My Patients That Your Real Journey Starts After Rehab I Encourage All My Patients To Continue Therapy,I Believe With The Help Of Love,God,Therapy And Support From Your Love Ones You Can Truly Live An Sober Drug Free Life" She Said

"Stayin Sober Is The Part Thats Scares Me What If Relapse"I Asked

"What If The Sky Turns Red,What If Tomorrow Nevers Comes,What If It Never Stops Raining I Can Go All Day But I Simply Do Not Have That Kind Of Time To Worried Myself You Don't Either You Have To Believe In Yourself That You Will Not Let Your Self Down"She Said To Me

I Look At The Reflection Of My Self In This Window And I Realize That I've Apologized To Everyone But My Self

Not Only Did I Let My Grandmother Down,Ayden And Everyone Else Who Loves Me Down I've Also I Let My Self Down

That Little Girl Who Aspire To Be So Much More Inside Of I Let Her Down By Doubt Myself,Hiding From Myself And Putting Poison In My System

As I Was Thinking Of So Many Things Strangely

I Got A Phone Call From An Old Friend Brea She Called Me And When She Heard My Voice She Said "Are You Okay"

"Im Doing Fine.....How Are You I Miss You And London"I Said

"I Miss You Too...Were Doing Better I Heard You Was In Rehab I Had To Call And See If My Girl Was Good"She Said

Brea Didn't Even Sound The Same She Didn't Sound Like The Ghetto Chick From Bankhead She Sounded Like She Was On Her Way To Sucess

"Im Good...I Had A Few Rough Months I Got Caught Up In Some Bad Things But Gods Been Workin With Me...Im Glad You Called Me I Been Meaning To Call You And Apologize To You I Should've Gotten Mad When You Told Me You Wanted To Better Yourself Brea I Was A Hater Who Hated Myself And Hated Everyone Who Wanted To Be Something In This World"I Said

"Its Cool You Just Get Better For Me And We'll Call It Even You Got A Little Boy Who Needs His Mama...Im Prayin For You If You Ever In California Lets Meets For Dinner Or Brunch On Me"She Said

I Smiled And Said "I Will Definitely Do That You Take Care Kiss London For Me And Happy Mothers Day"

"Happy Mother Day Too You Aziah"She Said

I Smiled And Hung Up The Phone Than I Got Another Call Sayin I Had Visitors Downstairs

I Was Thinkin That It Was Probably My Mother I Went Downstairs And Into The Visitor Room And Saw August Holding Ayden

Emotions Ran High My Hands Were Tremblin As My Eyes Began Weeping Tears Of Joy

My Baby Graciously Smile At Me As He Held His Hands Out For Me Reaching For Me

"He's Happy To See Ya...Yeah Ayden Thats Mama"August Said Smilin

I Walked Over To Them And Picked Up My Baby I Was Literally In Tears

I Kissed Him Every Where I Finally Sat Down While Holding My Baby And Said To August "Happy Mothers Day"

"Mothers Day Is For You"He Said

"August You Deserve Both Mother And Father Day You Took Of Ayden All By Yourself"I Said

"Thats What A Man Supposed To Do,Happy Mothers Day"He Said

"It Is Now"I Said Smiling At Ayden

I Kissed Ayden Forehead He Smelled So Good

"I've Miss You So Much Ayden"I Said

I Finally Felt Complete Now

"Show Mama Your Teeth Ayden Well The Two That You Have"August Said While Smiling

I Look At Ayden And Said "You Have Teeth Say Ahh"

I Said Opening My Mouth He Opened His Mouth Smiling And I Saw Two Bottom Teeth In His Mouth

"Oh Ayden You Growing Up"I Said Being Excited

"He's Takin Ova The World He Can Eat Anything With Those Two Teeth"August Said

August Sat Next To Me And Said "Lets Take A Selfie" As He Pulled His Phone Out

"Ugh No...I Look A Mess "I Said

"You Beautiful"He Said Makin Me Blush

Than He Leaned In And Kissed Me

And I Got That Good Ol Feeling Back...

I Couldn't Help But To Say "I Love You"

He Stared In My Eyes And Said "You Don't Know How Good It Feels To Me To Hear You Speak Those Words"

"I Don't Want To Speak It Tho I Wanna Scream I Love You On Top Of An Mountain Top Where My Voice Echos"I Said Staring Back In His Ayden

It Was Just The Three Of All Us Again And I Couldn't Be More Thrilled To Be With Two People I Loved The Most

My Mother Walked In "Well Isn't This An Very Lovely Surprise Hello August Always Nice To See You"

August Smiled And Stood Up And Hugged My Mother And Said "Happy Mothers Day Vivian"

"Thank You...I See You Brought My Grandbaby Out He's Everything I Thought He Was"She Said As She Smiled At Ayden

"Hello Ayden...Im Your Grandmother"She Said To Ayden As She Grabbed His Little Hand

It Was The First Time My Mother Met Ayden

"God Your The Spitting Image Of Your Father And That Ain't No Bad Thang"She Said To Ayden

Ms.Jane Mae Walked Over To Us And Said "Well Isn't This An Family Reunion"

"You Met My Mother This Is Ayden And August"I Said

She Smiled At Ayden "Ayden Your Very Handsome...She Talks About You Everyday I Can See Why Look At That Cute Smile"

She Shook August Hand And Said "August You Mind To Join An Session With Aziah And I...I Think It Could Be Really Helpful To You And Aziah"

He Looked At Her And Said "If Will It Help Her I'll Do Anything For Her"

"I Like Em...Grandma You Mind Watching The Baby For A While"Ms.Jane Mae Said To My Mother

"No Problem You Two Go Ahead Ayden And I Will Be Just Fine"My Mother Said

So We Went Up To Therapy Room