Three Months Has Already Past And I Been High Everyday Havin The Time Of My Life

I Was Partyin,Poppin Pill,Snortin Coke,And Enjoyin My Life In The Club At Dancin Laughing Making Out With Riley On The Dancefloor

Everything Is So Slow And My Heart Is Beating So Fast You Would Think I Was Bored With This Life But I Wasn't In My Mind I Was Just Getting Started

Getting High Was Like Breathing To Me I Didn't Think I Could Live Without It The More Drugs I Did The More I Was Losing Myself

Three Whole Months And I Haven't Seen Ayden Not One Time August Wouldn't Let Me See Him Or Talk To Him Until I Got Myself Together

Knowing That Baby Is Six Months Old And Im Not There To See Him Grow Made Me Sad Every Time I Think About All That Im Missin Out In My Baby Life I Take Twice The Amount Of Drugs

I Paused From Dancin With Riley And Said "Im Goin To Use The Bathroom"

She Nodded As I Stumbled Into The Bathroom My Bladder Was Filled From Alcohol Giggling Cause All Of The Drugs Im Off Of

When I Walked In The Bathroom Were Two Females In The Bathoom Shootin Up Dope In Their Veins

One Of The Females Smile At Me And Said "Hey You Be With Riley Right"

"Yeah That's My Gal"I Answered

"Okay Okay She The Homie She Knows How To Party"The Female Said

Than Riley Walked In "Whats Takin You So Long" She Said To Me

Than Riley Notice The Females And Said "Whats Up Yall"

The Female Smile And Said "Let Me Do You Up Right Quick"

Riley Rolled Her Arm Sleeve Up And Said "Hell Yeah"

I Pulled Riley Back And Said "You Gon Really Do That Shit"

"Relax Why You So Uptight Tonight Everybody Knows Herion Is The Best High Eva"Riley Said As She Walked Over To The Females

She Held Her Arm Out As Ol Girl Got The Needle Ready To Shoot Up In Riley

While Im Standin By The Bathroom Feeling Uncomfortable As Ever I Hated Needles And I Ain't Really With Sharing Dirty Needles With Other People

"Ain't You Gon Do It With Me"She Asked Me

And I Won't Lie I Thought About It For A Long Minute And Before I Could Answered Her My Phone Ring Which Is Weird Because Nobody Be Callin Me These Days No More

I Look Down In My Purse And It Was Cathrine Callin I Quickly Answered "Hello Cathrine"I Said Sniffling My Nose

"Aziah Have You Talked To August"She Asked

"Umm No Why"I Asked

"Im Surprise He Didn't Call You Ayden Wasn't Feeling Too Good His Fever Was 103"She Said

"Oh My God Is He Okay"I Said As I Started To Panic

"I Was Calling To Ask You That August Not Answering My Calls"She Said

"Oh My God Cathrine Im Have To Call You Back"I Said Immediately Hanging Up In Her Face

And Dialing August Number But His Number Was Change "Son Of A Bitch!"I Yelled

"Whats Wrong"Riley Asked

"My Son Is Sick And I Have To Go See If He's Okay Since My BabyFather Change His Number I'll Call You Later"I Said

I May Be An Addict But When I Found Out Ayden Was Sick I Immediately Stop Everything I Was Doing And Went To See About My Baby

I Had To Catch A Cab All The To August Crib Which Was Far As Hell From Where I Was

I Saw August Range Rover Parked In The Driveway Next To Miracle Little Mercedes Benz Trunk

I Paid For The Taxi And Got Out I Walked To August Door And Rang His Doorbell

"Please Let My Baby Be Okay Please Lord"I Said As My Stomach Turn Thinking Of All The Bad Things That Could Be Happening To Ayden

I Wasn't Getting An Answer So I Start Press The Doorbell Several Times In Under 30 Seconds

And Finally He Opened The Door And My First Words To Him Were "Is Ayden Okay"

And He Said Back To Me "He Good...Go Back To The Fun Lifestyle You Been Livinn You Ain't Been Caring Bout Ayden"

I Smack My Lips And Said "Your Mama Called And Said Ayden Is Sick So I Drop Everything And Rushed Here Wheres My Baby"

"Why You Ain't Seen Em In Months,Nor Called"He Said

"You Changed Your Number Assho........You Know What I Don't Give A Damn About You Right Now I Just Wanna Know Is My Son Okay"I Said

"He Ight He's Just Teething,I Took Em To The Best Doctor In Atlanta Myself Ima Take Care Of Mines With Or Without Ya Help"He Said

"I Know August"I Said Calming Down

"You Should Know I Ain't Have No Pops Growing Up I Will Never Leave Ayden I Give Up Everything In This World For That Little Boy I Bathe Him,I Read To Em,I Sing To Him,I Take Him Everywhere With Me"August Said

I Half Smile "You A Better Parent Than Me Okay I Said It!...Can I See Him I Promise Not To Wake Him I Just Wanna See Him" I Begged

He Thought About For A Moment

"Please August"I Said Softly

"I Want Too But I Can't I Gotta Do What Best For Ayden He Don't Need To See You Like This I Can See Through You...You So Thin"He Said Staring At Trying To Find The Woman He Fell In Love With

I Folded My Arms I Folded My Arms And Starting Lookin Shameful

"You Gon Kill Yaself If You Don't Get Some Real Help Ziah"He Said

"Im Okay August Don't Worry About Me You Just Worry Takin Care Of Ayden Do Me A Favor Kiss Him For Me"I Said As I Turn My Back And Attempting To Walk Away

"I Know What You Tryna Escape Aziah...All The Pain...People You Loved Gave To You...Including Me Stay The Night And In The Morning I Can Take You To Get Some Help"He Offered

I Turned Around And Look At Em And Said "Im Fine August"

He Grabbed Me And Said "You Not Fine You Got A Problem You Have To Go To Rehab"And You Could See Compassion He Felt For Me In His Eyes At This Very Moment

"Im Okay August I Am"I Said To Him As He Looked At As If I Lost Mind Truth Was I Lost Way More Than That

I Had A Problem But I Didn't Wanna Go To Rehab I Was Too Afraid Of Facing All That Pain Hurt And Sadness Again

Drugs Had Me Me Numb And I Didn't Wanna Change That No Matter What August Had Said

I Still Went Home Popped Pills Did A Little Coke And Poured Me A Drink And Ran From My All Problems