The Sun Was Coming And We Had Just Finished Sexing I Was So Calm And Relaxed I Was Laying On His Chest When I Asked Him "Do You Think We Will Ever Be The Same With Us"

"No They Wont Be The Same ...Things Gon Better With Us"He Said

I Thought I Wanted A Divorce I Thought I Wanted To Live Without August But How Can I When Im Laying Naked Besides Him And After All That Shit He Said To Me Last Night

I Said I Was Done He Said He Was Done But Here We Are Again Everytime I Try And Let Go August Ass Always Whine Back In My Life

It Must Be A Reason Why We Keep Coming Back To Each It Gotta Be A Reason Why I Can Never Get Over Him

To Be Honest With Myself Im Not Sure If I Even Wanna Go Through With The Divorce

If I Get A Divorce That Doesn't Necessarily Mean Ima Be Happy In The End

Being Separated And Just Co Patenting Has Been Cool And All But I Miss Him I Miss My Family

But He Has Hurt Me So Much I Don't Even Think I Can I Put Myself Through This Shit Again

I Was Fighting With My Mind And My Heart On What Is The Right Thing To Do

Should I Seriously Get A Divorce Or Do I Stay And Try To Work It Out With August After Everything He Has Done To Me

I Would Love To Just Move Forward With August But Unfortunately Things Are As Simple As Just Having Sex

Talk About Caught Up In My Feelings

Not To Mention I Been Sleeping With Benny And Got Em Thinkin Im Over August But Im In The Bed Layin Under August

I Didn't Tell August About Benny Because I Know August Gon Snap Real Quick Just A Thought About A Another Nigga Fuckin Me Made Em Go Insane And I Don't Wanna Piss Him Off Today

When I Finally Went To Sleep August Woke Me Back Up With Breakfast In Bed

He Had A Plate Filled With Bacon,Grits,Cheese And Eggs,And Waffles

"I Made You Breakfast"He Said Smiling

I Sat Up And Said "How Do You Have The Energy To Even Stand"I Asked

"I Don't Get Tired"He Said

I Smiled And Said "It Looks Good Im Starving...."

I Said As I Picked Up A Piece Of Bacon

"Lets Go To The Aquarium...We Can Pick Up The Boys And Have A Family Day"He Said

"I Don't Wanna Confused Our Kids They Might Think We Getting Back Together"I Said

"We Not"He Asked

"Not Officially...August I Need To Know If You Really Gon Change August...I Can't Go Through Another Heartache From You"I Said To Him

"Last Night Was Amazing It Felt Like Was Our First Time Again It Only Made Me Want This Even More...So Whatever You Want I'll Do..So Tell Me What Do You Want From Me"He Asked Me

I Stared Him In His Eyes And Pulled My Hair Behind My Ears And Said "...Okay Well From Starters I Want Us To Attend Marriage Counseling"

"...I Don't Really See The Point But If Its What You Want Im Down...So What Else"He Asked Me

"And You Have To Stop Being So Controlling Of Me August"I Said

"I Don't Control What Ya Talkin Bout"He Said

"Umm Yess You Do August You Always Feel Like You Own Me Like Im One Of Your Cars Or Something Instead Of Treating Me Like Your Wife"I Said

"If I Really Control You Like That Yo Ass Would Of Been Back Home By Now.....But Ight I'll Work On It Whats Next"He Said

"I Want You To Understand That We Are A Family And Nothing's More Important Than Us...I Want You To Put Us First Before Your Career That Means No More Leaving Us On Christmas And Holidays"I Said

"Done...Anything Else"He Said

"I Need To Trust You So I Need For You To Be Honest With Me At All Times No Matter How Much It Hurts I Always Want You To Be Real With Me I Really Hate Being Lied To"I Said

"I Only Lie Because In My Head I Think Im Protectin You But In Reality I End Up Makin You Hurt Even More So You Want Me To Be More Honest I Can Do That"He Said

"..And Lastly I Want Us To Go To Church All Of Us Because A Family That Prays Together Stays Together And I Don't Wanna Lose My Family Again"I Said

"Thats My Favorite One I Think In Order To Be A Happy Married Couple And Strong Family We Gon Need God"He Said

He Took My Hand And Said "We Gon Make This Work"

He Keep Telling Me He's A Change Man And I Just Can't Trust That And Yet I Enjoy Being Under Him And Making Love To Him

I Missed Him More Than I KnewI Always Felt Like August And I Are Destined To Be Like We're Soulmates

We Must Be Because Im Fallin For Him All Over Again And I Just...Just Might Give Our Marriage Another Chance

After Leaving August Place I Got In My Car And I Looked At My Phone Noticed That I Had 48 Missed Calls

47 Of Those Were From Benny One Of Those Calls Was From Gia

I Told Her Anytime Shes Need To Talk To Me Just Call Me

I Called Gia Back And She Didn't Answer Than I Got A Funny Feeling So I Called Again And Again Still No Answer

"What The Fuck"I Said To Myself

Why Wasn't She Answering....Fuck I Decided To Just Go Pull Up On Her

As I Was Driving Over To Gia's Place I Called Toya

She Answered Like "Please Tell Me You Are Not Still With August"

"Im Nott...Hey I Have To Go Check On A Friend I Was Wondering If You Could Watch Ayden And Azian For A Little Longer Until My Nanny Comes In"I Said

"....No Problem...Did You Sleep With August Bitch Spell That Tea"She Said

"I'll Tell You All About It When I Get Home See You Soon"I Said I As Hung Up

Gia Had A History Of Mental Illness...Her Mother Is Diagnosed With

Bipolar And Schizophrenia

When Me And Gia Was Younger Her Mother Use To Do Some Crazy Shit One Time She Came And Pick Gia Up From School Booty But Naked

Gia Was So Embarrassed Looked Like She Was Gonna Pass Out.....Her Mother Was Pure Insane But My Grandma Always Use To Tell Me "You Don't Laugh At People Like That You Help Them" Cause People With Mental Illness Can't Help It And They Just Don't Know Better

Gia's Grandfather Just Ended Up Putting Her Mother In A Crazy Home

So I Know How Serious Mental Illness And Im Praying To God That Gia Haven't Done Something Stupid

I Pulled Up To Her House And I Can See Her Car In The Driveway

I Got Out Of My Car And Walked Up And Knock On Her Door

No Answer Than When I Tried Turning The The Knob The Door Opened

When I Opened The Door Gia Was Sitting On The Floor

"Aziah Look"She Said Holding Her Arm Her Wrist Was Pouring Out Blood She Had Cut Her Wrist

"Oh My God...Gia"I Said As I Snatched A Curtain From Her Window

I Got On My Knees And Said "Okay Okay"I Said Panicking Cause It Was A Lot Of Blood And It Was Scaring Me

"It Doesn't Even Hurt"She Said

I Wrapped The Curtain Around Her Wrist As I Applied Pressure With One Hand And With My Other Hand I Pulled My Phone Out My Pocket

As I Dialed 911 She Said "Please Just Let Me Die...Just Let Me Die"As A Tear Fell Down Her Eye

"...No!..."I Said

Than I Looked At Her And Said "You Are Not Dying Not Today"