After Sexing Benny On My Couch The Next Morning I Felt Guilty Since I Haven't Been With Anyone Else But August In The Past Six Years

I Woke Up To Benny Kissin Me I Opened My Eyes He Smiled And Said "Morning Freak"

I Giggled And Said "Don't I Deserve Breakfast In Bed After Putting It Down Like That Last Night"

"Girl You Deserve A Trophy They Way You Gave It To Me You Blew My Mind"He Said

With A Smirk On My Face I Said "..Thats Just The Beginning"

"You Keep Talking Like That We Gon Have To Go For Round Two"He Said

He Kissed Me

"...Im Leaving Town This Week I Got Some Work To Do In L.A"He Said

"You Sleep With Me Than You Leave Me"I Joked

"I Would Never Leave You...Im Collabin With An Artist From New York..."He Said

"How Long You Gon Be Gone"I Asked

"Depends..."He Said

I Rolled My Eyes..."Whatever I Don't Care Anyways"

"Stop...Don't Do That Too Me...Its My Job Sometimes But If You Don't Won't Me To Go Than I Won't"He Said

"Okay I Don't"I Said

"Ight...Than Im Not Going Than"He Said As He Laid On His Back

"You Would Seriously Do That For Me"I Asked

"I Would Do Anything For You...Because You Worth So Much To Me"He Said

"You Say The Sweetest Shit To Me"I Said As I Kissed His Cheek

"No But....I Won't You To Work When You Get Back You Have To Promise To Take Me Out Tho"I Said Smiling

"We Can Have Dinner On Me And Dessert On You"He Said As He Climb On Top Of Me

I Think Didn't Me And Benny Would Become So Serious We Started Off Serious But Thats What Happen We Connect With Someone On A Whole New Level

Its So Nice To Have Someone Treat Me So Nice And Appreciates Me For Everything That I Am

Feels Good To Have Someone Thats Consist

After Benny Left I Shower And Got Dressed And Went To Meet August At Ayden First Private Karate Class

When I Arrived Ayden Was Working With His Instructer

"Hey Baby"I Said Waving My Hand At Ayden

Than I Sat Down Next To August And You Can Just Feel The Tension Between

I Guess We Was Both Still In Our Feelings About The Other Day

Nobody Wasn't Speaking To The Elephant In Room

We Just Look At Each Other And His Eyes Told Me "Im Hurt As Shit"

I Just Quickly Looked Away From Him Because I Can't Bare The Thought Of Me Hurting Him Because I Never Wanted Too When All I Wanted Was Us To Just Be Happy Even If We Not Together Anymore

After All The Shit We Been Through Together You Would Of Thought That We Would At Least Be Friends In The End

But I Guess You Could Never Be Just Friends With Someone Your In Love With

He's My Bestfriend And Right Now He Won't Even Talk To Me And I Won't Lie I Kinda Feel Some Typa Of Way

"Im Still The Mother Of Your Kids You Could Atleast Speak To Me"I Said While Watching Ayden Take His Lessons

"I Don't Wanna Speak To You"He Said

"Well You Have Too"I Said

"You Know What I Wish....."He Asked Me

"What?"I Answered

"I Wish I Never Fell In Love With You In The First Place"He Said

And I Just Stared At Him

"I Don't...Im Happy We Fell In Love If We Didn't We Wouldn't Never Have Had Ayden And Azian...What We Had Was Beautiful And I Don't Regret Any Of It"I Said

"I Just Feel Like If I Never Fell In Love With You I Would Be Good...Im In My Feelings Constantly About This Shit"

"Well Im Sorry You Feel That Way"I Said

"Me Too"He Replied To Me

He Was Like He Was Starting To Hate Me...How Could He Hate Me When He's Still In Love With Me I Wonder To Myself

You Know How Hard It Is To Hate Someone Your Madly Uncontrollably In Love With?

Hardest Shit To Do In The World Take It From Me

I Just Wanna Enjoy Life And Live But How Can I Live When He's Dying Inside

Thinking About August And Me,What We Had Vs What We Have Now Makes Me Wanna Pull My Hair And Go Crazy

After Ayden Karate Lesson August Walked Me And Ayden To My Fearri

He Put Ayden In His Booster Seat

The We Both Just Stared At Each Other Until He Opened His Mouth And Said "You Busy Tonight"

"Noo...Im Not Why"I Asked

"Well I Was Wondering If You Wanted To Come Over To Crib Tonight I Can Cook We Can Eat And Just Talk...Thats All I Want Is To Talk"He Asked

If Yall Would Of Saw This Sad Ass Look Painted On His Face You Would Of Just Said "...Okay What Time"Too

"7 Sounds Good"He Asked

"7 Is Fine"I Said

He Smiled "Okay Well Get Home Safe"

"You Too"I Said

He Walk Back To His Car And I Got In Mines

What Kind Of Tricks August Had Up His Sleeves I Had No Idea

When Me And Ayden Arrived Home I Smelled Soul Food Cooking In My Kitchen

When I Walked In My Kitchen My Mama Was Cooking ,Azian Was In His Play Pen Standing Up And Toya Was Sitting At My Table Drinking A Glass Of Wine

"What Yall In Here Doing...."I Said As I Picked Azian Up And Sat At My Kitchen Table

"We Was Talking About Ayden Birthday Party I Know You And August Gon Go All Out"My Mama Said

"Well Ayden Is Our Baby And He's Turning Two So We Have To Go All Out Ayden Is Obsessed With Spider-Man Right Now So Thats Probably Going To Be The Theme"I Said

"Spider-Man Sounds Fine....Is It Going To Be Here Or At August Place"Toya Asked Me

"We Probably End Up Renting Space"I Said

Than I Said "And Speaking Of August He Invited Me Over To His Place For Dinner Tonight"

"You Mean A Date"She Asked Me

"Yes"I Said

"Hell No...Did You Tell Him No"She Asked

"No I Said Yes"I Answered Her

"...For What Azian He's Just Tryna Suck You Back In....Don't Fall For His Little Tricks"She Said

"Well I Think Its Nice You Two Are Finally Acting Like Adults"My Mother Said

"I Don't August And Tony Are Some Dogs Always Gon Be Always Will Be"Toya Said

"Tony...What Happened With You And Tony"I Asked

".....He Got A Another GirHe Got Another Girl Pregnant"She Said As She Took A Sip Of Wine

"Aw..Toya Im Sorry To Hear That"I Said

"You Know Everybody Told Me He Ain't Shit And Still I Go Be A Dumbass And Fall In Love With His No Good Ass Thats Why I Poured Bleach On All His Shit Before I Left And I Crashed His Car Into The Garage"She Said

"Bitch You Did Not You Lyin"I Said

"Do It Look Like Im Lyin"She Said With A Straight Face

"Oh My God"I Said Smiling

"He Picked The Wrong Bitch To Cheat On"She Said Drinking Her Wine

"You Is Crazy"I Said Laughing

"You Gon Be Cray Too If You Don't Leave August Ass Alone He's Just Like Tony Fuck Them Both"She Said

"Im Just Having Dinner With August Thats It"I Said

"Yeah...Okay...Well You Know Tony Petty Ass Froze My Accounts And Cancel All My Cards So You Mind If I Stay Here For A Few Days"She Asked

"No You Are More Than Welcome"I Said

Later On I Was Getting Ready To Go On The Phone With Brea When She Said "Have You Talked To Gia"

"No I Haven't Actually Have You"I Said

"I Been Calling Her I Can't Get A Hold To Her"Brea Said

"Well Have You Tried Calling Her Sister"I Asked

"Yes And I Still Haven't Been Able To Get In Touch With Her" Brea Said

"You Dont Think Something Had Happened To Her Do You"I Asked

"Aziah...No...Gia Is Okay If She Wasn't We Would Be The First Ones To Know "Brea Assured Me

"Yeah You Right...Ima Go By Her Place Tho Just To Make Sure"I Said.

"Make Sure You Do That What You Over There Doing"Brea Said

"Getting Ready...I Having Dinner With August Tonight"I Said

She Smacked Her Lips And Said "Bitchhh.....No...What You Having Dinner With Him For"She Asked Me

"To Talk About Things"I Said

"What Yall Need To Talk About.... No I Hate It When You Do This To Yourself You Get Your Hopes Up Thinkin August Change Yall Get Back Together And Cheats On You Again!"She Said

"Brea Im Not Getting Back With Him Im Just Having A Conversation With Him" I Said To Her

"...When You Gon Realize Once A Fuckboy Always A Fuckboy!"Brea Said

"I Love You Byee"I Said Hanging Up The Phone

I Looked In Mirror And Said To Myself "What Are You Doin You Are Out Of You Mind Aziah He Won't Change"

I Was All Ready And Dressed Looking Good To See My Soon To Be Ex Husband

I Left And Drove All The Way Over Over To August Place

I Pulled In The Driveway And I Swear Had Butterflies Like It Was My First Time Meeting Him

I Left My Phone In My Car And I Walked To His Door And Before I Could Ring The Door Bell He Opened The Door Holding A Rose

He Looked So Good Especially Smiling With His Perfectly White Teeth

"For Me"I Said

"All For You..."He Said As He Gave Me The Rose

I Walked In He Closed The Door Behind And I Could Smell Food Cooking In The Kitchen

"I Don't Get A Hug"He Said

"What Are You Up To August Alsina"I Asked

"Im Just Tryna Get A Hug"He Said

I Opened My Arms And Hugged Him

He Wrapped Me In His Arms Around Him And He Smelled So His Scent Actually Reminded Me Of How Much I Actually Missed Him

"It Feels So Good To Be Hugging You"He Said In My Ear

As I Was Hugging August I Felt Something And He Must Of Felt It To Because He Said To Me

"I Miss You Ziah"He Said

And I Wanted To Say It Back But I Didn't Wanna Cross That Line With August

I Took My Arms From Him And Said "What On The Menu Tonight Chef Alsina"

"Well Mrs.Alsina I Made Losber Tails With Some Garlic Butter Sauce,Corn On The Con,Potatos, And Rice"He Said

"Its Smell So Good..."I Complimented

"You Lookin Real Good Mama"He Said

"Am I?"I Said Being Sarcastic

"Yea You Is"He Said

"Thank You You Look Good Your Self"I Said

"Ya Know I Had To Show You What You Been Missin"He Joked

I Giggled And Said "Oh Really"

"Im Just Fuckin...With You Come On Lets Go In The Kitchen Dinner Is Almost Ready"He Said As He Walked Infront Of Me

We Walked In The Kitchen And He Play Luther Vandross Ft Beyonce The Closer I Get To You

He Had A Table Set For Two And Candles Lit So Romantic

As I Looked Around He Grab My Hand And Said "Dance With Me"

I Smiled And Said "Right Here?"

"Right Hea"He Said As He Grabbed Me By My Waist As I Placed My Arm Around His Neck And Started Slowing Dancing In The Middle Of The Floor

"I Got One Question For You..."He Said As We Were Dancing

"What"I Asked

"You Love Me"He Asked Me

I Was Quiet For A Moment Than I Said "Do You Love Me"

"Always"He Said

And I Was Quiet For A Another Moment

"You Gon Answered My Question For Me"He Asked Me

"Yes...Yes I Still Love You August"I Admitted

"You Only One Who Knows Me Pass This Fame Shit You Really Know Me Thats Why I Don't Know Why Would I Hurt You So Bad"He Said

"You My Everything Instead Of Fuckin With These Hoes I Should Of Been At Home With My Wife Being A Good Husband Cause You Aint Deserve All That Shit I Put You Through You Stood By Side Faithful And For That I Will Always Love You"He Said

I Look Up In His Eyes And Listen To Him

"A Nigga Been Sick Without You I Been Sick You Heard Me I Miss My Kids Being At Home With Me And You...Im Willing To Do Anything To Get Us Back On Track I Don't Wanna Divorce You And By You Being Here With Me Tonight I Can Tell You Don't Really Divorce Me Either"He Said

How Can He Read Me Like A Book So Easily

"I Don't...I Feel I Have To In Order To Be Free Of Pain"I Said

"What If I Told You...I Can Free You From Ya Pain...This Time Ima Do Right,I Won't Lie To You,And I Won't Them Let Hoes Come Between Us Eva Again I Wanna Grow Old With You"He Said

"I Don't Ever Wanna Be The One Hurting You...I Fucked Up Bad...And I Realized Ima Man Baby And Im Learning From My Mistakes You Helping Me Grow As Man And Don't Even Know It"He Said

Lookin In His Eyes I Just Wanna Believe Him So Badly

"As Soon As I Think Im Over You,You Pull Me Back In Again..My Friends They Don't Think I Should Get Back With You"I Said

"Why...Cause They Want You To Be Lonely Like Think I Don't Give A Fuck What Them Bitter Bitches Got To Say About Us They Just Mad Because Won't No Nigga Fight For Them Like Im Fighting Fa You"August Said

"You Call Taking Your Ring Off Fighting For Me"I Said Smiling

"I Was Mad...You File For Divorce Behind My Back"He Said

"I Have Every Right Too"I Said

"You Do...But At The Same Time You Not Giving Me A Chance To Prove Myself To You"He Said

"Give Me One Good Reason Why Should I"I Asked

"Because...You Love Me"He Said

"So What You Want Me To Do...Stop This Divorce Moved Back In With You Continue Being Married To You Untill You Hurt Me Again"I Asked

"Im Not Gon Hurt You...Look I Know You Need Time To Prove That You Can Trust Me This Time Shit Gon Be Different I Won't Let You Down Again I Did It To Many Times In The Past I Don't Wanna Lose You You Apart Of Me If I Lose You Than Im Losing Everything I Miss Going To Sleep Next To You,Hearin You Gigglin,Seeing You In The Morning,And Making Love To You I Will Not Stop Untill You Back With Me"He Said Looking In My Eyes

I Really Thought I Was Over August But Looking In His Eyes I Don't Think Im Fully Over Him

We Ate Dinner And Drank Wine And Just Talked All Night

Nigga Had Me Smiling And Blushing The Whole Time

Untill I Look Up At The Clock And It Was 2 In The Morning

"Its Getting Late....I Should Really Be Going"I Said

"Don't Leave Its Late Stay The Night With Me"He Said

I Smiled And Said "Wouldn't You Like That..."

He Stood Up And Grabbed My Hands And Said "Come On We Gon Take A Shower" As He Licked His Lips

I Smiled As He Leaned In And Kissed Me

We Had A Few Glasses Of Wine So We Might Of Been In Our Feelings More Than Usual That How We Ended Up In The Shower

He Was Kissin Me As The Water Ran Down On Our Naked Bodies

He Hard As Hell And Im Wetter Than This Water Fallin On Us

Its Been So Long Since We Had Sex....And I Miss Our Sex Almost As He Did

My Back Against The Wall He Lifted Me And Shoved His Whole Dick In Me Causing Me To Scream Uncontrollably

Just Him Being Inside Me Drove Me Crazy He Knows What I Like And He Knows Where All My Spots At.

He Was Deep Inside Me All I Could Do Is Moan Because The Sensation And The Feeling Feels So Good

After We Finished Up In The Shower We Headed To The Bedroom He Put It On Me Now Its Time To Put It On Him

I Pushed Him Back On The Bed And Climb Up On Top Of Him And Began Kissing His Neck As I Got On Top Of Him

And Started Going Crazy On His Dick That We He Changed Positions And Got Behind Face Up Down Ass Up

And Beind Dickin Me Down The Best I Almost Cried It Was Good

And Right Before He Makes Me Cum He Pulls My Hair And Tongue Kisses Me In My Mouth And I Scream Out Loud "Im Cumming" Only August Can Make Me Cum Sex With Benny Was Good But Sex With August Was Everything And More